Embrace the Imperfections
I just noticed a new, ever growing hole in my sofa. I love this sofa but all of its edges are starting to wear dangerously thin. Now I regret not making sure those old ladyish arm protectors weren't properly in their place over the last five years. And I admit, I even got a little teary eyed thinking about how much I enjoy this sofa, and knowing that we cannot afford a new one anytime soon. My sofa has holes and stains and is starting to fade in all the wrong places. Somewhere deep in my twisted thoughts I ask myself "Why, why was I such a fool to allow it to be used so carelessly?".
But there is a good side to having a not so perfect sofa. I can freely have friends over, friends with toddlers who eat melty chocolate chip cookies on the sofa—and they don't gasp when a chip falls onto the fabric. And now when one of my boys isn't feeling too well, with threat of you know whatting their spagettieos, I let them rest on the sofa without fear that it will be ruined. My husband can plop down in his favorite spot and if his greasy popcorrny hands happen to fall onto the arm of my precious sofa there's no threat of me shooting him a dissapproving look.
Then it dawned on me. There is something worse than a falling apart, used up, five year old sofa. A perfectly unused five year old sofa. It would be such a tragedy if my five year old sofa were in mint condition. Not only do I think the sofa {which I realize is an inanimate object but for the sake of this point let's pretend} is thrilled to be fulfilling it's sofa purpose, but we are actually so much more free to enjoy it because of its imperfections. I'm pretty sure my friends would rather lounge on an imperfect sofa while eating chips and salsa than a perfect sofa if they were given the choice.
For all who rest their hindquarters on our loved on sofa, they get a gentle reminder that they are free to be themselves. Once again, I realize that my unconscious quest for perfection is thwarted. And I am actually thankful for the daily reminder that it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful.
Behind the scenes video: The Nester's Studio
So beautiful, so true! My hubby and I believe that part of blessing others in our home is letting them be free to be comfortable and themselves. It's awfully hard to be comfortable if you worry about "messing up" your host's things! Your attitude about what is truly important is inspiring! :)
Blessings,
Stacey
Posted by: Stacey @ The Blessed Nest | 08/08/2009 at 10:13 PM
This is such a good line: "it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful"
If we try to make everything perfect, we will only end up in disappointment and frustration.
There can be such a sweet beauty to the imperfect - just like your couch.
Joyfully in Christ,
Emily Rose
http://www.simplyvintagegirl.com/blog/
P.S. The design of this place sure is cute!
Posted by: Simply Vintagegirl | 08/08/2009 at 10:20 PM
This makes me feel better about my sofa, which has it's own set of issues. :-)
Posted by: Dawn @ My Home Sweet Home | 08/09/2009 at 08:57 PM
I'm looking at my 1 yr old couch that was gifted to me and that I have never liked and I am feeling humbled and thankful.
Posted by: Angela Nazworth | 08/09/2009 at 08:59 PM
That's it. I'm officially backing away from my two sofas -- unused baby wipe in hand.
How many times have I swept Seth off the couch for fear of his snot and drool staining it? Too, too many. He is the only one of my five children that is still with me here on earth, and I refuse to let my joy in him be diminished by less-than-pristine linen.
As usual, Nester, you rock my world.
Posted by: Monica @ The Writer Chic | 08/09/2009 at 09:23 PM
Ahhh the love affair with my 7 year old sofa continues to this day. I can tell you the story behind every spot and stain. There are worn places in the fabric where bums have nestled for years. My elbows hone in on their well formed resting places as I read my latest page turner. Thank you Nester for reminding me of the goodness of a well worn sofa.
Posted by: Mary @ Passionate Perseverance | 08/09/2009 at 10:15 PM
Thank you for this post! It is so true of life (and sofas!). Sometimes it is the imperfections that make us so much more distinct and lovely.
Posted by: Alexis | 08/09/2009 at 11:34 PM
I am glad I have found beauty in imperfection. First I thought that it was a sign of weakness, because I am far from perfect. Now I see it as a sign of strenght.I just need some reminding sometimes ;-)
I found this site through your blog (love it) and I really like it.
Posted by: Marianne | 08/10/2009 at 12:00 AM
The sad thing about my couch and loveseat is that they are imperfect because of my cats' claws. And there is nothing beautiful about it!
:)
Posted by: Angela | 08/10/2009 at 07:23 AM
Love this. Love you.
The same month my 2nd child was born, my mom bought a white leather sectional. She has spent the last 2 1/2 years protecting it, missing out on wonderful grandchildren moments b/c she's so worried about that dang couch.
I say get the messing up over with and get on with living and loving and enjoying.
Posted by: Emily@remodelingthislife | 08/10/2009 at 07:45 AM
As usual my dear, you are delightful and more importantly real...how high a standard we unseemingly set when we spend more time trying to be "perfect" than welcoming...and I suspect you are welcoming where ever you go (even if you're a nervous nelly getting there!) You are blooming my dear and its a great look on you!
hugs
Shanna
Posted by: Sweetie Berry | 08/10/2009 at 08:00 AM
I was seriously just looking at my sofa the other day and thinking, "I am so embarrassed by this thing. It is so worn out." My 8 year old sofa has been WELL-USED, indeed.
What a fantastic shift in thinking that I desperately needed. Thank you thank you!
I can't get a new sofa right now either but I did find Tobacco Road and am painting a bathroom, btw. ;)
Great first post - I think I will love this new site. Some of my favorite bloggers/writers are on here!
Posted by: Janel | 08/10/2009 at 08:14 AM
I love your phrase 'it doesn't have to be perfect to be beautiful' :-) and I loved this post. It certainly helps me rethink the things around my home that I often wish I could replace for new!
Your tassles are beautiful... that is something I have never thought to put around my house, but I love the look of them, they may have to go on my Christmas 'wish list' ;-)
Have a blessed day
Hugs Denise
Posted by: Denise | 08/10/2009 at 08:56 AM
I don't mean to be too bold here, and this is a beautiful story for a sofa.
But let us be very careful of the line we're stepping on when we take light of imperfections. No, we can't ever be perfect and that's exactly why we need Jesus. But God does not see our imperfections as beautiful. If He did, Jesus' death on the cross would be in vain. My point is we don't want to make light of Jesus' death on the cross by making light of our imperfections, or better known as our sin. We need to be aware of it in order to press into Jesus further.
What does make us beautiful? The Holy Spirit living in us, working out those imperfections so more of God's glory can shine through.
Showing contentment with the imperfections of a sofa in order to allow people to be themselves is awesome and important by itself. But showing contentment and complacency in our walk is not.
Having said all that, we need to remember where our identity lies. It is not in ourselves and especially not in our imperfections...but in Jesus Christ.
God set the standard high, not us. But, because we cannot attain it, He sent Jesus. The Law is not abolished, it's fulfilled through Jesus death - yet we need to continue to press forward to reach for that prize. We need to work out our faith with fear and trembling. :)
((hugs to all))
Please don't take this post wrong, I only mean to come at a different angle and put caution out there in our spiritual lives. :)
Posted by: Christin | 08/10/2009 at 08:57 AM
What a gorgeous post! I love the fact that you "live" in your home, not around it. There is nothing greater than enjoying your home and everything you have in it.
Posted by: Gina @ The Shabby Chic Cottage | 08/10/2009 at 09:54 AM
My five children have discovered numerous uses for our sofa, including pillow forts, beauty salons, movie theaters, and sickbeds. When I get frustrated or mad that things are messy or stained, I always tell myself, "A mess means there are people here. When there's no mess, that means the people will be gone." You gotta love it while you got it.
Thanks nester!
Posted by: Margo Andersen | 08/10/2009 at 10:34 AM
We got this new table before last Thanksgiving. Right before my MIL was set to come over I noticed a scratch. I was so mad. Soooo mad. I think I may have yelled. No, no, I did--infact--yell!
Then I thought about it. What's a scratch? Does it not show that something is being used and loved? Does it not allow us to remember that we sat at the table every day. Computing. Drawing. Eating. Schooling. Living.
And, I apologized for yelling. And, I haven't worried about the scratches since.
Life. We must live it. Scratches and all.
Posted by: Secret Agent Mama/Mishelle | 08/10/2009 at 11:14 AM
I love it, Nester. I get so frustrated about how IMperfect my own house is, but you know what? I’ve had so many friends mention how comfortable they feel in my house. And that is WAY more important than a perfectly polished floor and perfectly decorated pressed curtains!!
Posted by: Mary @ Giving Up on Perfect | 08/10/2009 at 11:15 AM
We've been married 14 years and bought our house 13 years ago, so a lot of our stuff is 13-14 years old. And it is worn, scratched, scuffed, stained, and threadbare. But it is beautiful and serviceable.
Thank you, God, that I don't have to look brand-new and perfect to be of service to You!
Thank you for this piece. It was lovely and heartfelt.
Posted by: mary bailey | 08/10/2009 at 11:23 AM
I must confess, I may be the only one who looked TOO into this post and maybe didn't take it for what it was.
Mary enlightened me a bit more in her comment about our imperfect homes. This of course is a whole new topic and this post would fit perfectly with it. Again, I don't know if this post was MEANT to be paralleled with our own lives or not. If not, disregard my above comment! LOL
Living in homes which are imperfect, well, this just shows lives that are being lived. Obviously it's important to have some type of order to things, but there is no way to have a perfectly clean and untouched home and still INjoy living in it. :)
BTW, I forgot to mention, I absolutely love the picture of your couch!
Posted by: Christin | 08/10/2009 at 11:45 AM
I was in the same room as this sofa on Saturday! I touched it, even! I did not notice its imperfections. What I did notice was a comfortable, welcoming, peaceful home with a gracious hostess. I pray that I can be more concerned about people and less about my property... see there I go again... it's not even "my" stuff! You are a blessing! I am so excited that you are here! Blessings!!
Posted by: Terri | 08/10/2009 at 01:16 PM
Great post! Reminds me of some great advice I got once when I was complaining about arguing with my husband about where a picture should/should not be hung...a wise friend told me to quit arguing about it...that when guests come to visit, what they will remember more than the pefect placement of our art is the peaceful ATMOSPHERE in our home! Thanks for the reminder!
Posted by: Amy Hale | 08/10/2009 at 01:23 PM
I was just lamenting over my sofa last night night. Thanks for the reality check. Mine is very well used and loved.
Posted by: PS~Erin | 08/10/2009 at 02:01 PM
Aaaah, what a wonderful post. Very well said!
Posted by: Bugs & Sunshine | 08/10/2009 at 03:06 PM
Nester!
Great article.
I'm so excited for you and your tassel adventure. Of course folks will be lined up to purchase them. Never you fear!
love ya!
Posted by: Lynne in NC | 08/10/2009 at 03:39 PM