A Mother's Hope
Iʼd like to share with you the homeschooling tale of our 18-year-old son, the most difficult child Iʼve ever taught. Itʼs a story of hope, the lessons that both my son and I learned along the way, and the rewards at the end of the journey. I think there's a little bit of truth in it for all of us...
Humility
As a homeschooling mother of eight, lots of undeserved pats on the back come my way. “I donʼt know how you do it,” is something I hear on a weekly, if not daily, basis. My 18-year-old son has always had the ability to see right through me. Through his eyes, my every fault and insufficiency is laid bare.
I am not a “super” homeschooling mom.
Obligation
Homeschool involves obligation; you must be committed to your childʼs education. From the beginning, my son wouldnʼt sit down and do his work. Once my back was turned, he was gone.
Although a bright child—he made up his own language, which he could read and write; was good with numbers; and loved to read—I always felt like a failure because year after year would pass with largely unfinished curricula.
Iʼll never forget the day I was in tears, begging him to just “do school,” when he looked at me and said, “Mom, Iʼm learning.” Although my instincts told me that he was right, I still struggled with the need for visible proof: graded papers, completed workbooks.
When the scores arrived from his junior year PSAT, they were less than Iʼd hoped. Depressed, I never showed them to my husband or son.
Patience
When senior year came this past fall, a sense of urgency possessed my son as he realized how much ground must be covered in order to graduate. At first I tried to keep up with him, but soon we both lost patience: it just wasnʼt working with a house full of other kids. I quit trying to make him adapt to our school schedule, so he usually studied well into the night and slept in the next morning.
He had become a schooling machine, so I just assigned him the work he needed to complete and he handled it on his own. Truly, he schooled himself for his senior year. We didnʼt schedule the SAT until March when Geometry was finally finished; he did 2 1/2 years worth of math in one school year.
This time the scores were good.
My son has been accepted to a respected university. Because of our late start in the application process, housing wasnʼt available for fall, so heʼll begin in the spring. For now, heʼs working at my husbandʼs office and just enjoying the freedom of being out of school.
Iʼm enjoying the sense of completion.
Encouragement
If youʼre a homeschooling mother, have a difficult student, or are just in a tough spot right now I hope this story encourages you. Although Iʼve told scores of women that “God has a plan for your child and you wonʼt mess it up,” there were many days when I didnʼt believe it in my own heart. Not for this child.
While I was teaching my son, God was teaching me. Although itʼs not my nature, I had to be patient for years—years of trusting that we really were doing the right thing in spite of discouragement.
Ultimately, the Lord is always faithful. Trust his leading in your child's education, your family, all of your life, and put your hope in Him.
“I wait for the LORD, my soul doth wait, and in his word do I hope.” ~ Psalms 130:5





























Dawn, this post needs to be shouted from the rooftops to homeschooling moms everywhere. We won't mess them up.
Thank you. I loved reading about your son and the down and dirty of what homeschool really is and can be...
love you!
Posted by: The Nester | 09/16/2009 at 05:21 AM
Totally disagree - your school district may very well have offered wonderful 'choices' of their own and opened up other creativity; that's what we've found. AND, you could've been blessing other children who don't know the Lord and His Love by volunteering in those schools. Sorry, but I see homeschooling as incredibly selfish and self-serving.
Posted by: tam | 09/16/2009 at 06:02 AM
There's a humility that motherhood brings that can knock us to our knees, which is right where we're supposed to be, I guess. Thank you for recording your journey here for us, Dawn.
Posted by: Amber@theRunaMuck | 09/16/2009 at 07:12 AM
Dawn, I love your mama heart and vulnerable words. Thank you for taking the risk and sharing with us those deep down fears that every mom, homeschooling or not, has about messing up her kids. This post was incredibly encouraging to me!
Posted by: emily | 09/16/2009 at 07:19 AM
Oh Dawn.. I have known doubts with my son. He still doesn't really apply himself in University... but I have faith. Tears and frustration and pride and bittersweet memories still bubble together under the surface of a mamma with a doing all the right stuff son... it has been a long and trying road at times.
Thank you for sharing your perspective, and how amazing you were to show such patience.
Posted by: deb @talk at the table | 09/16/2009 at 07:54 AM
I'm not a homeschooling mom, but Dawn, I think you've done a great service to those who are. So many of my friends have gone into homeschooling with idealism about how it "should" be, only to feel defeated when it's not quite the picture they imagined. You've shown them by example that victory has many faces.
:)
Posted by: Robin ~ PENSIEVE | 09/16/2009 at 07:55 AM
YES, and AMEN SISTA! I have home educated my 4 children for over 13 years and I STILL need to hear this. My oldest son (15) just started public school this year and I was SURE that each and every gap or "unfinished" workbook would be displayed for all the public school to see! My son was an above average student but he challenged me like none of my other children. i mean, my other children would not even THINK of not doing a school assignment. Humility is a wonderful thing, don;t ya think :0)? Anyway, all the worrying was for nothing---he is doing so well his teachers believe he should be placed in the honors program next term. Sigh and relief.
Thanks Dawn for reminding me of this!!
Posted by: donna o | 09/16/2009 at 08:55 AM
Dawn, I suspect your story is more common than most homeschoolers would like to admit. We feel we have to produce Rhodes Scholars to be considered successful, to be justified in our decision to take our kids' education into our own hands. Thank you for sharing. It gives me hope that my son will find writing to be important someday.
Posted by: Aimee | 09/16/2009 at 09:11 AM
Dear sweet friend, from one Homeschooling mom to another, I applaud you and this post.. It takes great dedication and humility to put our children's education first. It has been a long hard road, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. I look back at all the times that I could have walked away and put them in public school... but then I would not have the joy of spending every day (good and bad) with them. They love that I homeschool them, and wouldnt trade that experience for the one that received in public school previously.
Homeschooling isn't for everyone...but it works for my family and it obviously is working for yours (and many others who have commented on this post!)
Chin up girlfriend. You are amazing in my eyes.
-H
Posted by: Especially Heather | 09/16/2009 at 09:12 AM
Thank you for your honesty. God has rewarded your perseverence and humility. I am searing this post into my memory for those time when I am feeling frusterated with my boy who sounds similar to yours.
Posted by: Beth | 09/16/2009 at 10:21 AM
I'm so encouraged. I have a "difficult child" but she is only 7yrs...and sometimes it is hard to even IMAGINE getting to age 18yrs! LOL! I have said many times that God has taught *me* more through homeschooling than I could ever teach my children. He is so good to humble us, grow us and prune us through our children and each other. Thank you for sharing!
Posted by: Candace | 09/16/2009 at 10:50 AM
Tam!
What? I don't understand why you would be so discouraging in your comment. I completely agree that there are lots of fantastic opportunities offered by the public school system as well as private schools. And I think that you are one of those parents who truly is purposeful about your child's education and I really admire that. But you just called all homeschoolers selfish and self serving--have you ever considered that maybe the Lord has called some women to homeschool some of their children for many different reasons?
As a mom of 3 who currently has one in public school, one in private and is homeschooling the other, we take it one year, one child at a time.
Posted by: The Nester | 09/16/2009 at 11:31 AM
Dawn, lovely post! We are very new to homeschooling {my oldest is 1st grade-ish} & although I haven't had difficulty with him I still wonder about making it through to the end.
Posted by: Christi {Jealous Hands} | 09/16/2009 at 03:26 PM
we're in our 9th year of homeschooling, and I had high hopes for this year, my youngest is finally reading, and now we can get on with the fun stuff, but instead it's struggle after struggle, I even prayed and asked God if I should put him in public or private school, cause I just don't want to do it anymore. but I have not had a release from the call to homeschool, so we continue. I really needed this encouragement. thank you. I know my Papa sent me here for comfort today.
Mrs N
Posted by: MrsNehemiah | 09/16/2009 at 05:12 PM
From a Mama of six down hard in the homeschooling trenches, 10th year, with oldest beginning his high school years and the youngest just beginning the journey....
I just needed to whisper my thanks.
I needed to read your brave, true words of His hope again today.
God uses you.
Thanks, (((Dawn))))... and Son.
All's grace,
Ann
Posted by: Ann Voskamp@Holy Experience | 09/16/2009 at 05:25 PM
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
Posted by: Tricia | 09/16/2009 at 11:41 PM
what an (in)couraging story. you didn't give up on your son and WOW he is going to make you so proud. this is our 1st year homeschooling and i know the road is long and comes with hills and valleys, but i WILL NOT give up on my children. thank YOU for inspiring and encouraging other hs'ers with HOPE.
Posted by: MamaHall | 09/17/2009 at 07:30 AM
This story lifted me up today, I really needed to hear these words. I don't home school my son, but yet we have the struggles of homework and how he is doing in the class room. I worry that I am not doing right by him. I want to be the best mom I can for my son, who is now almost 12 in a couple of months. The words you wrote, "My 18-year-old son has always had the ability to see right through me. Through his eyes, my every fault and insufficiency is laid bare."
I feel exactly that and i pray every day for the Lord to show me how to be patient and loving. It is so hard to be a mom, but I know there is HOPE!
Posted by: Qi | 09/17/2009 at 11:46 AM
Bless You, Dawn, for your transparency. Honesty always blesses others. Although I raised my 6 children before the days of homeschooling, 3 of our 4 daughters have and/or are homeschooling. My second daughter has severe dyslexia and when she was in 4th grade I was almost in despair over her learning difficulties. I would think "if she can't do 4th grade work, even with me helping her 2 1/2 hours per night, how will she ever get through Jr. High ?"
The Lord led us to an optometrist who specialized in helping children with learning disabilities and after 18 months of seeing him 3 times per week, she was able to do her own work without help. She could only maintain a "C"average but we were so grateful for her progress.
When she was 21 she worked as a volunteer with the Jesuit Lay volunteers for 2 years, establishing a nursery school for under privileged children. Then she joined a youth ministry program through LaSalle College and then served as a youth minister for 2 years.
Today she is married and is a wonderful, godly wife and homeschooling Mom to her 8 children. Her oldest is married, the two oldest girls have served with Net Ministries between their high school and college years and her second son is serving with them this year. Her two children who have thus far earned college degrees have maintained all A's and B's. So, ladies, with the help of God, you will be able to give your children what they need. God picked you out of all the world to be their Moms and He will see you through.
Blessings,
Mary (Mom of 6, Grandma to 31, and great grandma to 10 - so far :-)
Posted by: Mary | 09/17/2009 at 01:17 PM
OH, I needed this today. I have a 16 year old son who is a junior. He and I butt heads constantly when it comes to writing assignments. I have been telling myself it was a mistake to keep him home this year. Thank you for sharing your experience. The Lord always knows what we need, when we need it.
Posted by: Robin in New Jersey | 09/17/2009 at 02:58 PM
To Tam~~
"incredibly selfish" Sorry, don't agree with that statement at all.
Homeschooling is the most UNselfish thing a mom can do for her kids.
Posted by: Robin in New Jersey | 09/17/2009 at 03:01 PM
Dawn,
I have taught private school and public school. I've tutored privately and in group sessions at colleges. Homeschooling can still drive me to my knees. This week it has often driven me to my Kleenex box. Some seasons--some learners--just push us to the edge, and He is always standing there, arms open, ready to embrace...us...them...all we are...and aren't. Thank you for the words that cause me to look up and realize I may be on the edge, being held there by grace, but I am not alone. Others stand with me, and He stands with us all.
So grateful for your honest heart...
Jerri
Posted by: Jerri | 09/17/2009 at 03:33 PM
Just what I needed, Dawn! Thank you. We start our new school year in a week and I am already a little discouraged and disheartened... mostly because of my own expectations of how things "should" be. But I know that I am doing what God has called me to do and I have to trust Him.
Posted by: Marsha | 09/17/2009 at 09:49 PM
Thank you, Thank you!!! I needed to hear this today. I have been homeschool 12yrs and I still get discouraged at times.
Posted by: jackie | 09/18/2009 at 10:24 AM
Thank you Dawn for making the choice to homeschool your children. My mother homeschooled me and my siblings. I have yet to meet smarter, more well adjusted human beings than my brothers and sister. My sister and I chose to further our education with specific courses for licensing in our fields. My brothers both went on to college and graduated suma kume laude in their respective degrees. They breezed through college while my friends barely made it. One of my brothers had a major learning difficulty that my mom recognized and worked to overcome. He would have been a common failing statistic had he continued on in the private school we started out in. I know for a fact, that had it not been for my mom making the decision to homeschool, I would not be in the fabulous situation that I am today. She is my hero!!!
Posted by: Heidi | 09/18/2009 at 10:37 PM