Hurry
I sat down with my friend and pastor Pete Wilson this week to interview him about the book Crazy Love and he said something that really stuck with me.
“We need to ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives.”
Wow.
That one hit me right between the eyes.
I am humiliated to say how many times a day I say things like, “Hurry and get out of the car, girls. Now!” and “Please help me get this done-I’m so late for my appointment.”
And usually it isn’t in my Sunday voice.
I have known for years that it’s my tendency to get in over my head with obligations, but recently it has really started to take a toll on me. There are more nights that I go to bed feeling like I gave my kids my “leftovers” than I would care to admit.
I doubt that this will be one of my most articulate posts, which I am attributing to the fact that I just turned in my first book manuscript and I am crying from exhaustion, but I do hope you can connect with it.
A couple years ago I bought a book that is now dog-eared and marked up like crazy. It’s called “Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ” by Madame Jeanne Guyon, and it is incredible.
She was an amazing woman who lived in the seventeenth century, and she had a life that nobody would envy as far as difficult circumstances. As a young woman her face was horribly disfigured by disease and she was grateful for it because she didn’t have to worry about her vanity anymore.
Umm, yeah. I’m sure that would have been my first reaction too.
She completely inspires me to be a better woman, with my heart fully and completely surrendered to the Lord. In the book she talks about how to read through scripture slowly and meditatively, focusing on each word and letting it soak in until you feel the Holy Spirit urge you to move on.
I realized how incredibly difficult this was for me when I told Todd what I was reading one night and he didn’t stop laughing for a half hour.
“I’m reading a book on slowing down and meditating to be really present with the Lord. It’s about total focus. It’s good, Todd.”
“Angie, has anything about this situation struck you as odd?” He looked at me and crossed his arms accusingly, a smirk on his face.
I scanned the room, eyes rolling around in the old, “I have no idea what you’re talking about” kind of way.
“Babe.” He stared at me.
“What?”
“You’re reading the book while sitting in the bathtub with a highlighter, a pen, wet fingernails, a facial masque, and a phone next to you.”
And so I was.
So much for complete concentration.
I think about that moment a lot, because I love to come up with excuses as to why I am so stressed out, why I am running late, why I am snapping at my children (shocking, I know. Surely you can’t relate, right?), why my house is a mess and I can’t EVER get through the laundry.
And don’t get me started on the granite.
I don’t know the science behind it, but you can’t make it perfectly clean. Try. Wipe it 3 or 4 times with your cleaner and then run your hand along it. Crumbs, right? Argh.
For crying out loud, I can’t even write one article without getting sidetracked! But do feel free to give me any granite tips in your comments.
We live in a drive-thru, speakerphone, text message, hustle and bustle world and quite frankly, I think I need off the ride for a couple minutes.
What is really important right now? What prevents me from feeling like I have focused on those things?
I need to do some inventory, and I think that (in)courage is the perfect place to plant my thoughts and ask you to help them grow.
How do you slow down? Make time for what matters?
Tell us all how you get ruthless with eliminating hurry-I assure you we could all some great tips.
Let me run and get my pen and highlighter first, though…
I love you. You're like a red headed, shorter, American version of me. But I bet you use your Sunday voice ore often than I do.
I loved this Ange. I read it out to Adam. He loved it. We don't have any tips though... we suck at it. Looking forward to hearing others tips :)
Posted by: Jen | 10/20/2009 at 02:01 AM
Actually, that's not entirely true... Adam and I always have a date night on Wednesdays, regardless. We need to take time out and be just Adam and Jenny, not Adam and Jenny and The Multitude. Our marriage matters. After nearly losing it, we are so grateful to the Lord for restoring us, and we take care to make sure we keep it in line with what He asks of us. (on Wednesdays, at least *grin*)
Posted by: Jen | 10/20/2009 at 02:05 AM
Holy smokes, I need some good advice on this, too! I am perpetually cramming way more into my day than I have time for! And I am SO guilty of using my very unSunday voice at my kids when the stress gets to me. I am such a work in progress!
I do, however, keep my morning quiet time with Jesus pretty regularly. My whole day just goes so much smoother when I focus my early morning time and energy on Him first. I shutter to think what it would be like if I didn't fill my cup with Him first thing! Eeek!
Posted by: Kristen - Moms Sharpening Moms | 10/20/2009 at 04:23 AM
Oh, Angie, you're better than a cup of coffee to get me going in the morning - there is so much of me in your post that I couldn't help laughing out loud! As I read your bathtub story I saw myself last week, fussing because the power was out & I couldn't attack several computer related tasks, clean out the 'fridge etc etc so I decided to catch up on a chapter of a parenting book I was working my way through called "Back to Basics" by Brook Noel. The irony was that the chapter I was reading was about how to slow down and focus on what's important - your family & your inner self - and yet, like you, while I was reading I was constantly checking to see if the power had come back on, walking around picking up & cleaning, preparing kits for after school activities - rushing, rushing, rushing. All necessary tasks, of course, but none that couldn't have waited the 15 minutes it would have taken to just be still & absorb the advice in the book. I too wish I had great advice, but probably like me at your age & stage of life, you wouldn't listen anyhow - our excuse mechanisms are strong & well loaded. In His own way, however, the Lord provides as always - as I near my first 1/2 century with 3 still fairly young children in the house, I've noticed that as I age my energy level is nothing like it was & that certain things don't matter as much any more (like taking on taks that "prove" me in some way or benefit others, but take a toll on my family). I'm still busy & always on the run, probably more than I should be, but my focus has shifted & that's what makes the difference. An old sage once told me (when talking about my time with God) - "make the time to take the time" - after all, you do for everything else. Be blessed on your quest. I can't wait to see some helpful hints from others.
Posted by: Ruth | 10/20/2009 at 06:02 AM
“We need to ruthlessly eliminate hurry from our lives.” I cannot even tell you how much God has been speaking to me about this lately. When I read your post I knew it was another sign. I am so guilty of multi-tasking to the point of exhaustion.
I recently stopped by a girlfriends house on my way to a function and was struck by her serenity. She was curled up in a blanket with her family hanging out. I, on the other hand, had just come from soccer practice where I had finished up a magazine article, was on my way to a grand opening followed by setting up for a huge event I was hosting in the morning. I was BEGINNING the second half of my day and she was relaxed and ending hers. I knew then that something was off in my life.
Thanks for the message. I really needed it.
Posted by: JenniferG | 10/20/2009 at 06:03 AM
Your article is so true! A few tips I have learned.....say no! We can't do it all...there are many good things but pray about those things God wants us to be doing. Ask your husband too, he is a good judge if you have too much on your plate!
Stay home!!! Yes, crazy right? Just stay home! We have 7 children ages 16 to 3 and if they each did one extra thing we would be running every day...it's good to just stay home! We homeschool, so that makes it easier to stay home! When I am home things are smoother, things get done, we are not rushing and trampling on each other....
So I think those are my best tips...I'm looking forward to reading some more...
Blessings Alisa
Posted by: alisa | 10/20/2009 at 06:04 AM
I just wrote a blog post about this the other day. God has been teaching me so much about YIELDING...and what that means in my life. It's so hard...but God has been so patient with me, and I'm sloooowly learning. :)
http://candacemercyisnew.blogspot.com/2009/10/yielding.html
Posted by: Candace | 10/20/2009 at 06:20 AM
Love this. For me to slow down I had to get sick. Chronic illness will quickly slow you down and make you figure out what is important. I still go do not doubt that, but I go much slower and much more deliberately. I walk much closer to the Lord so I can lean on Him when I need too.
Posted by: Jiggy | 10/20/2009 at 06:33 AM
We are in Florida this week on vacation. Day one arriving at our rented beach front house I found myself hurried, frustrated and just generally ticked off. Until, I looked out the window and saw my husband with our baby girl running in the surf. For the first time in her life.
What was I doing unpacking and surveying the available kitchen pots, pans and utensils and making a grocery list when I could be running on the beach with my babies? SLOW DOWN! What's the rush? How many things do we miss because we are in a hurry? I commit to be on "island time" and continue this act when I return to the hustle of Northern Virginia.
More importantly, how many of God's words and blessings do I completely miss out on by being in a hurry? Ouch.
Thanks Ang!
Posted by: Tracey | 10/20/2009 at 06:52 AM
I'm no expert, and a fairly new mom with a 3yo and a 1yo. But I've been pausing three times a day (during breakfast, at nap, and at bed) to jot praises and thanksgivings in my gratitude journal. Quick one liners- help me pay attention to God's smile on my day- and help me breathe even if it's only a minute. It is a great joy booster- and you can't be rushing if you want to see His tiny multitude of blessings!
Posted by: Kelly | 10/20/2009 at 06:58 AM
I believe wholeheartedly that we bring 90% of the busyness we live into our own lives...there is a meal that society continues to feed us and that is...that in order to accomplish or to be worthy we must do...I have pushed that plate away for over 20 years now. I believe the plate is served by the hand of satan who adds the sugar so that it tastes sweet at first and creates the fat later. Also, the packaging looks pretty from the outside...at first glance which causes us to buy.
Posted by: Peggy | 10/20/2009 at 07:12 AM
Oh, Angie! I laughed at your Sunday voice. I think we all have one of those! I find that building certain "slow down" points into my day and evening helps. I get up an hour before the kids for my quiet time. I build at least an hour into my day to do whatever it is I want (read, write, relax), and after all the kids are tucked in at night, I'm off duty. I don't do any housework, etc after 9pm. This isn't to say that I don't struggle with the constant desire to rush and accomplish, but I've found that if I guard those down times I am a better mom and wife. The negative side is that I just don't get as much done as other people, but I'm learning to be comfortable with that.
Posted by: Kimberly | 10/20/2009 at 07:18 AM
It's sadly ironic that not less than 2 minutes before I read your post this morning, I was scolding my eldest that he needed to hurry up and get his shoes on or he'd be late for school (and it was most definitely NOT in my Sunday voice!)
With four boys who are interested in a variety of activities, the best lesson I've learned is that we as a family have to limit the things we participate in. Yes, we'd like to play every sport, participate in every church activity, volunteer at every school event, work on every committee that asks, etc.... But it's more important for us to be discerning and really focus in on those things that God is calling us to do (even if it means saying "no" to the very worthy cause!) Often, God is calling us to slow down and spend more time with each other in celebration of Him, and our family is happiest when we heed that call.
Posted by: Theresa | 10/20/2009 at 07:46 AM
I think that the key to slowing down is that you have to be single minded about the thing you are doing. We as moms and business women and wives are major multitaskers. There's a time for multitasking and then there's a time when we need to focus specifically on the task at hand. We tend to stop in the middle and switch gears to do another task then switch gears again to finish the original task (with any number of switching in between). This not only exhausts us but it's counter productive. If you want to learn how to slow down, then try for a week, taking a few items that you do on a regular basis, and just focusing on that item without multitasking. I think that you will find that you have accomplished more and you wont feel like your life is so hectic.
Thanks for the great reminder to slow down!
Posted by: Maranda | 10/20/2009 at 08:25 AM
Hi Angie,
It felt like you were speaking directly to me! I struggle with rushing every day! And when I have a few minutes of quiet, I have to force myself to read - I always feel like I'm wasting time! I believe for me the best way to slow down is starting with a quiet time with God. Next, I try to plan out my days to make good use of my time - but not overload! Which is easier said than done! Either way, I struggle with it also all of the time. Thank you so much for your wonderful, candid article that has encouraged and inspired me today! Theresa K.
Posted by: Theresa Karnes | 10/20/2009 at 08:30 AM
I was laughing as I read this. Here I sit with three internet windows open a stack of school papers waiting to be put into a spreadsheet, the home phone by my side with it's mate the cell phone. I'm writing a "to-do-this-week" list and downing my second cup of strong coffee... gee maybe I need to slow down! Thank you for the reminder!
Oh and on our granite I use really warm water and microfiber clothes, it works wonders. I buy the clothes in the automotive section of Target and they are little miracle workers on granite, marble and stainless!
Posted by: Houston | 10/20/2009 at 08:35 AM
This was beautifully written, and quite honestly something that I need to work on.
Thank you for this.
XO*Tricia
Posted by: Tricia | 10/20/2009 at 08:47 AM
Wow! This was so encouraging! I by no means have this down, but there are a few things that I try to think about before committing to something. The first are my priorities: my relationship with God comes first, then my family, then anything else. Looking at it this way helps me evaluate if any given activity is going to help or hinder what I feel the Lord has given to me in this stage of life.
Posted by: Mrs. Rachel | 10/20/2009 at 08:59 AM
This is so true and important to remember. Especially because God often talks to us in that still small voice and we are much less likely to hear it if we are surrounded by busyness and "hurry". Beautiful post =)
Posted by: Melissa Multitasking Mama | 10/20/2009 at 09:02 AM
During the time that FigNewTon was sick and I was faced with losing her, I realized that the every day moments, those were life. Everything else wouldn't matter in the end. So I made a choice to live in those moments. I figured out what my main objective in life was (to love my girls and teach them to love God) and anything that didn't help me fulfill it was eliminated. I still have to make that choice daily. The little things that fill our days are our lives. We just have to choose how to spend them.
Posted by: Tricia | 10/20/2009 at 09:09 AM
So sad, but true! It's the American way! We can so caught up in being busy and trying to be busier that so and so, so we can look more important! A year ago, we were really busy. Football. Guitar. Wed. night church. Tests. Homework. and that was just the kids. My wake up call was my sons report card that had a "D" on it! That's a whole other story. But it jolted me and it rocked my world! And to this day, it's a lesson learned. I have to be involved and alert to what is going on in the lives of my kids. I don't want them to have my leftovers!
As of this school year. We are home every single night! No sports! No guitar lessons (due to cost)! I work at the boys school during the day. I am available all night long to them. We hang out. Talk. Enjoy each other. MEAP testing is going on, so we haven't had the load of homework yet either.
I am involved in steering for my church women's ministry. I enjoy that. I am maxed out and won't take on anything else! I am spear heading this years craft fair at the church. That's a lot of work as well. I know I am at my limit right now. But I'm not on overload because over the past year, I have no problem saying no! I have set boundaries and I stick to them!
I can't do it all. But what I choose to do, I want to give it my all. That all includes my kids!
Posted by: Katy Reitz | 10/20/2009 at 09:19 AM
Great stuff. Thank you!
I am very much the same way and definitely have not found all the answers.
But one thing I have done is forced an hour into my crazy schedule every day for nothing but quiet time with Jesus. Listening, Praying, Reading.
When someone first suggested it to me, I thought there was no way it was possible. After a couple of years of failed attempts, I am finally doing it on a somewhat consistent basis now. At least 4 times a week every week, not great, but better than my old once every couple of weeks.
The key for me was finding the right time and then making it a true priority. My right time meant me waking up at 5:30 instead of 7. And I am not a morning person. But, the more I do it, the more I love it and need it and depend on that time. My relationship with my Lord is becoming more intimate every day and I hear from Him every single time. I'm just now starting to understand what dependency really looks like as I use this time to come to the Him for everything. If I don't have this time I long for it and can feel it physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.
This time also allows me to get things into perspective and that is a huge help for not being in a hurry all the time, something I have always struggled with. It brings focus to my life and I realize what is worth my time and energy and what is not. And this perspective has allowed me to really simplify my hearts desire to just love and serve Jesus.
Posted by: Jennifer | 10/20/2009 at 09:21 AM
God is showing me more and more that eliminating hurry in a culture that is fast-paced, consumer driven, and dog-eat-dog is going to have to be radical. This year, God led me to quit my job (in ministry), pull my four children from public school (we now home school), and SLOW DOWN. I fought hard against it but finally obeyed. It has been the best thing that ever happened to our family. For the very first time, we are not over-scheduled. It feels as though our days are longer and there IS enough time in the day to get it all done!
I realize that God is not calling everyone to do this (and am in no way suggesting that He is)! My point is, eliminating hurry is often costly. But the rewards are a thousand fold!
Posted by: Shellee | 10/20/2009 at 09:24 AM
Angie, thanks so much for this reminder. Sometimes I feel like if I'm not hurrying, my life isn't as important. I guess sometimes you just have to be still and know that He is God.
Posted by: Jacky {This Time Around} | 10/20/2009 at 09:31 AM
Buy a hot tub. Seriously. And then use it. Every night. WITH your husband! And NOT with the kids. We bought one well over 10 years ago - used - with a tax refund (we didn't spend over $1500), and it's the best thing we ever did. My husband & I are militant about getting into the hot tub every night just for our quality time. He has a cigar; I have a glass of wine or cognac, and we talk. For an hour, this is our time to re-connect.
It's not always easy with kids in the house, but ours are older now & they really respect our space about this (plus the fact that their eyeballs would totally burn out if they saw us naked!)
When they were younger, we still could manage it - we'd put them to bed & then head out. In a way, it was easier, because bedtime was earlier. And we kept a monitor close by, just to, well, monitor!
It's worth every penny we've spent on it - try it.
Posted by: Elaine Pool | 10/20/2009 at 09:48 AM