I made myself a tuna fish sandwich and added some chips on the side.
Before I sat down to officially enjoy my lunch in the quiet of the day (that is, when all the babes are napping), I snatched a chip and chomped it down. You know what occurred to me in that moment.
Shame.
I had not yet prayed for my food, but that isn’t why I was thinking about shame.
I was thinking about the fact that If one of my children had taken a bite of their food before we prayed, I would have given them a stern look and said in sharp tone, “Do not eat that – we pray before we eat.”
Aside from my obvious hypocrisy, my main concern was about how many times I have made my children feel shame for sneaking in a quick bite before we prayed.
I mean, it’s not like eating a chip before you pray breaks some special thankfulness bond with God. He is not somehow less pleased with us if we do not save every bite for after prayer.*
So now I’m wondering if they will sense shame from God because I partnered my rebukes with sharp looks and a harsh tone. And if I have made them feel shame about food and prayer, what other areas have I made them feel shamed.
Man, it is so darn easy to shame others, even when we have the best of intentions. I do not want to ever shame my children (teach and train – yes, shame – no!), or anyone else for that matter.
Shame is an arrow from the enemy. Sometimes we don’t even realize that in our zeal for truth and obedience we have given him the bow from which to shoot the arrow. I seem to have a tight grip on that bow sometimes. How about you?
Are you holding a bow today?
Maybe not towards your children, but how about your fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? How about towards a co-worker, or a neighbor, or an in-law? How about towards your husband?
I encourage you, lay that bow at the feet of Jesus. He will work in the heart of His saints. Our role, as brothers and sisters in Christ, is to encourage, build up, and share the truth in love.
Lay it down, friend. The enemy will not only use that arrow to shoot others, he will take his aim directly at you.
*I will continue to encourage my kiddos to pray before we eat, but not because we have to engage is a robotic act of worship, but rather because of the praise in our hearts and the overflow of sincere thanks we have for one another and our food…and it’s a great way to encourage patience!
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Really good insight Sarah Mae–thanks for the reminder!
Do I have an arrow in my hand? Oh boy do I! In fact, I’ve got one in each hand!
Pondering on what you’ve shared and hoping to make some changes.
smooches,
Larie
Thanks for this – it’s always a good reminder that our acts of love to the Lord should be motivated out of love and not simply going through the motions.
Wow. My heart hurts now … I needed this poignant reminder of how I am often guilty of making actions more important than attitude. Thank you.
EXCELLENT topic and the picture is perfect for it!
An arrow straight through my heart. Thanks for letting the Holy Spirit speak through you!
I think this is my biggest struggle and you have really hit a nerve with me. I am afraid I snap at my 9 year old daughter all too often. At least, that’s how the enemy makes me feel. The enemy always makes me feel that I am a bad mother and that evreyone else has truck-loads of patience with their kids. He makes me wonder what is wrong with me. There is a thin line between teaching/training and making your kids feel unnecessary shame. I can’t say that I really thought about praying for clarity on this until I read your post. Thank you so much! Seriously, thank you for this.
What a great post! Thank you!
I have held that bow before. If I’d had more than 2 hands I’d have bows in them all.
But, over time I have learned to lay them down and pray.
Now, within my marriage, I am tempted many many times to pick it up. And I’m not so sure I’ve actually laid that one completely down just yet.
You are such a great writer with wisdom. And the real deal!
I’m linking you up again sometime later today.
You know where to find me 🙂
A girl named Joy
Oh Sara-Mae…this really spoke to my heart…I have been fighting shame on and off for years and needed this reminder. Thank you.
Perfectly put. I am putting down my bow of strong conviction. I know it is okay to have strong convictions, but never to allow the enemy to use it to “shame” others.
For, 4 fingers are pointing back at me.
Thanks, friend.
Hugs,
Traci
My husband and I have begun praying before every meal, even when out (although when we’re caught up in conversation on a “date” we sometimes forget). There are times however, when one of us will begin eating before prayer, sometimes even both, but at some point one of us will realize the mistake and stop eating and sit quietly to catch the other’s attention, and the other noticing will put down their fork and bow their head. We don’t make a big deal of it, things happen, but I love that we haven’t gone an entire meal in months without noticing and stopping. I think maybe God appreciates those moments, when even caught up in a good meal we remember Him. I am hoping it works this way with our children as well.
Thank you for a perfectly timed reminder. I’m about to pick the Littles up from school and I needed to hear this as my *day* is about to begin. Praying this one up and laying down the arrow of shame.
Awesome post.
I’ve been guilty of this, too.
I love how you say that praying is praising and not a robotic act of worship. That’s good, girl.
Thanks so much for sharing!
Sweet Blessings,
Kate 🙂
Ah yes, this speaks to my heart so well. There was a time in my life when I was so mired in shame myself that I could not help but transmit it to my children and husband with a cutting remark or look. This is a wonderful reminder that we need to surrender all to our merciful Lord.
I really like this post…thank you!
Very insightful and practical. Thanks for being open and honest with such a large crowd about a very specific occasion.
Ouch!
Great insight!
This is great that people are able to get the business loans and it opens up new opportunities.