She Likes Me, She Likes Me Not
Upate: The winner of Lysa's book is Sheri! Thanks to everyone who entered...there's still time to order it before Christmas!
There is a fundamental need inside most girls to be liked.
We want some people of the female variety to totally get us and walk away thinking we're pretty neat. It's like we carry around a miniature scale. On one side we put our coolness and on the other side our total dorkiness.
Put a group of women in a space to mingle for a while and when you release them from that space, I guarantee many will walk away playing that daisy petal game in their head: "She likes me...she likes me not."
It takes me back to my brace-faced middle school days quicker than Rick Springfield singing, "Jessie's Girl." Which, by the way, I totally wanted to be. I didn't have a clue who Jessie was. But to think of Rick pining away wishing I was his...sigh.
Those were some good hairbrush-microphone rock concert days. I'd step up on my bed, hush the vast audience of stuffed animals, and suddenly my bubblegum-pink room was transformed into the downtown civic center. And Rick was totally into me. Braces and all.
But eventually I had to step out of my bubblegum-pink room into the pea-green halls of Raa Middle School. Let the mental petal picking games begin.
I talked too much. Dork.
But I did get a laugh from so-an-so. Cool.
So-and-so asked me over to her house. Way cool.
But I spit out that cookie crumb while talking to her. Why did it have to be her? Total dork.
And then the kiss of death...Popular Patty was having a party and everyone who is anyone was invited. But not me. Dork of epic proportions.
Good things we're all matured past those middle school days. Right?
May I let you in on a secret? Just because you write a few books, speak in front of a few crowds, and achieve what you always thought would make you feel special does not fix that deep-down internal security. External achievement never equals internal acceptance.
If just getting older and piling up achievements doesn't help us make peace with our feelings of inadequacy, what will? I've found a two-step process that helps--I must operate in God's love and operate with God's love.
Operating in God's love means understanding how His love can redefine my natural thought processes. When I feel insecure, I can combat that feeling with a reassuring redefining word from God.
Operating with God's love allows me to rest in a security beyond myself. It's okay that I'm insecure if it prompts me to rely on God more fully.
If I was totally secure in myself all the time, I don't think it would increase my qualifications for ministry. As a matter of fact, I think it would do exactly the opposite. So, in essence, my feeling like a dork sometimes is actually a gift.
Thank you, Jesus.
Excerpted from Becoming More than a Good Bible Study Girl by Lysa Terkeurst. Leave a comment before midnight on Wednesday and you'll be entered to win a copy! Or just get it now!





























I LOVE this excerpt, and I can't wait to read more!
Posted by: Jen | 11/30/2009 at 12:24 AM
Wow! What a powerful post. Thank you for sharing this today. We live in a society where acceptance is a high priority in life and we all fall victim to wanting to be accepted and feeling the need to be. I love your statement that our external achievements cannot equal our internal acceptance. Such a great statement!
Posted by: Paige | 11/30/2009 at 12:30 AM
My Bible study gal pals and I are knee deep in this book, Lysa, and we are lovin' it! God has used you to communicate some powerful truths about Him and how to live the life He intended. Praise Him.
Posted by: Kristen - Moms Sharpening Moms | 11/30/2009 at 01:10 AM
Thank you for the excerpt. In between Bible studies now and could use the lessons shared in this book.
Posted by: Tracie | 11/30/2009 at 04:39 AM
Just the message I needed after an insecurity filled weekend. Thank you!
Posted by: clmk523 | 11/30/2009 at 05:08 AM
I would definitely love to read this book!
Posted by: eLisa | 11/30/2009 at 05:33 AM
Oooh - what a nice bit to dive into on a Monday morning. Thank you, it's something I think every one of us deals with.
Posted by: Corinne | 11/30/2009 at 05:34 AM
wow. touché.
i want that book. !!!
Posted by: Ioana | 11/30/2009 at 05:45 AM
Wow, you have described me to a tee! It was funny and yet painful to walk down those pea green middle school halls with you this morning! Thank you for the reminder that my insecurities can bring me closer to God. I would love to read this book!
Posted by: Dorie | 11/30/2009 at 06:19 AM
This book is SO on my Christmas list. I think we all face this issue on some level.
Posted by: TeriLynne | 11/30/2009 at 06:54 AM
I am hoping the ladies in my bible study are going to want to read this book next. Thank you for addressing all the real issues that aren't always talked about. Blessings!
Posted by: Jeannie | 11/30/2009 at 07:18 AM
Thank you for this humbling reminder. Thank you for your transparency. I, too, would have thought those initial thoughts... What a blessing that God's love and grace stops me in my tracks, wraps me in His embrace, and reminds me of my heart's deepest need.
God bless!
Posted by: Sharon Olson | 11/30/2009 at 08:13 AM
The first part of this post reminded me of the movie, "13 Going on On 30." I've wondered if part of our inheritance from Eve is this constant thwarting in our relationships as we try to be everything *we* think we should be based on the good and evil we know from the fruit we ate. The only fullness I've found in my relationships comes in receiving and offering God's grace - and lots and lots of waiting. You're so right that it is in His love and with His love that we find (and offer) any security.
Posted by: Kelly Langner Sauer | 11/30/2009 at 08:20 AM
This is just perfect timing. I am feeling God really working on my heart with this.
And it is beginning heavily with my tween daughter!
Thanks for the words!
Posted by: Ericka Hardin | 11/30/2009 at 08:23 AM
Oh my goodness.
There's that middle schooler still living inside of all of us, I think.
This got me: "External achievement never equals internal acceptance."
Whoa.
Posted by: Missy K | 11/30/2009 at 08:45 AM
Oh this speaks to my soul. Chuck Swindoll had a devotion today that went right along with this and I just read it. I love it when the Lord shows me things 2 or 3 times in a row for confirmation, I'm slow sometimes. Thanks Lysa.
Posted by: Tracey | 11/30/2009 at 08:54 AM
Ohmyword. Yes. I keep thinking one day I will not feel the need for external reassurances of my worth from others...but not yet. I do feel like I am growing in this area, and I have discovered that the healthier I am emotionally, spiritually--the less this stuff makes me crazy. That means exactly what you said--operating in and with God's love. Thanks Lysa!
Posted by: dawn | 11/30/2009 at 09:04 AM
"External achievement never equals internal acceptance."
You have no idea how much I needed these words. As a SAHM who did not choose to accept a paid for college education and did not have career goals, I often feel like a waste. My external achievements are redundant and monotonous, although done to glorify God, there is no pat on the back, paycheck, promotion etc. I have so often felt that I needed these "worldly" things to accept who I am.
Posted by: Marcee | 11/30/2009 at 09:07 AM
Hi Lysa ... what a beautiful excerpt from your book ... it causes us to notice the difference in our mindset when we 'operate' as if we are alone in the world at the mercy of all externals, including the people in our experience, and when we 'operate' as beloved Children of God who know they are loved ... braces and all ... Thanks Lysa for the precious insight and may God Bless you and yours always! Beverly.
Posted by: Beverly | 11/30/2009 at 09:07 AM
How my hearts beats loudly in my ear as I read this today...how many times have we all experienced these same feelings. I love Lysa's transparency, her heart, and her passion to share Him with each and every one of us. Great thoughts for this day!
xoxo, Melissa in Mel's World
Posted by: Mel's World with Melissa Mashburn | 11/30/2009 at 09:45 AM
Love this! Thanks so much for sharing!
Posted by: amy | 11/30/2009 at 09:48 AM
a good word for the insecurities we seem to love to carry around. i can let small things destroy me...remembering who I am in Jesus keeps me balanced.
Posted by: Jennfier | 11/30/2009 at 10:19 AM
It is so comforting to know that 'it's not just me.' I can get so down on myself with my 'petal picking' that I never realize that others around me do the same thing. What a blessing to remember that he created me this way - dorkiness and all!!
Posted by: Amanda Houpt | 11/30/2009 at 10:27 AM
I love my daughters, even when they call me a 'dork'. It keeps me humble, knowing that I do silly, dorky things. God bought me with a price 'as is'. He loves me 'as is'. And I would LOVE the book.
Posted by: Robbin | 11/30/2009 at 10:38 AM
This seems to be a theme (God is using to get my attention).
Thank you for such a touchy post. It is hard to feel confident when you think so little of yourself. I'm guilty of doing it myself. I have had moments where I was sure I was "all a that" and other moments where I was reigning supreme LOSER!
God doesn't make mistakes....and He loves me beyond what any other human could. That is what I cling to when I'm feeling that insecure feeling!
Posted by: wanda | 11/30/2009 at 10:50 AM