When I was little—maybe 5 or 6—I remember my mom getting really upset with me for rolling my eyes at her. (Are you surprised?)
I wanted so desperately to stop, to behave, to be good. But the thing was…I didn’t know what “rolling my eyes” was! And since I didn’t know what it meant to roll my eyes, I certainly didn’t know how to stop!
Fast forward a couple dozen years to, oh, tonight. At choir practice. In church.
We were practicing one of our very serious songs for Good Friday, and Brett, our choir director, was not happy with our tone. We were too bright, not singing tall enough. So he threatened, as he does from time to time, to make us stick three fingers in our mouth.
(It’s not as weird as it sounds. It forces us to really open up and have a tall, mature sound.) He kept threatening, and we kept singing…poorly.
And so he said, “Okay, that’s it. I’m not kidding. Do it.”
I felt it start, and I’m telling you, I couldn’t stop it. My eyes, they were a-rollin’!
You know, I’m a sarcastic person. And I will confess to having the urge to roll my eyes often. I mean, we’re talking several times a day.
I’m not proud of this, but I have—for the most part—learned to control it. My favorite eye-rolling-controlling trick is to simply close my eyes. Close my eyes, roll my eyes, then open again. See?
Actually, no you can’t see. And that’s the point.
I don’t know what happened tonight. Maybe I was tired. Maybe I was feeling at home and comfortable sharing my true feelings. Maybe I have had a rough week and was slightly annoyed at the thought of sticking half my hand in my mouth.
Whatever the excuse, I did it. I totally rolled my eyes. At my choir director.
Thankfully, he has a good sense of humor and just laughed at me. With me. Okay, at me.
I’m so thankful for that kind of everyday grace. And I want to extend the same thing more often to the people in my life. From the driver who just cut me off on the highway to my husband who hurt my feelings to my co-workers who miss another project deadline, they deserve grace just as much (or as little!) as I do.
So that’s my goal for this new year. And if I have to roll my eyes to get through it, at least I’ll have the good sense to close my eyes first!
Have you made a mistake that was instantly forgiven lately? Is there someone you need to forgive? How do we learn to forgive more easily?
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My man is always (really…always) so good at forgiving me instantly. For our family, he is such a wonderful reflection of Christ’s love. I could take a lesson from him and you!
Thanks so much for writing this!
From a fellow eye-roller I can feel your pain. I have to think about it to avoid doing it.
The Lord led me to teach a Sunday school class. One of the most faithful members is a woman whose son gives everyone a hard time. There were some hard feelings there, but we were able to forgive and move on. Such a blessing to me.
I found myself laughing at this post, knowing I am a eye roller, too. I will try to remember the “close my eyes” method. Although, I may find myself sitting with my eyes closed for a long time, next time I visit my mother in law. There, I said it.
Seriously though, instant forgiveness is rarely experienced by most people. I think so many people have anger, hurt, fears, anxieties… They are so consumed with their own pain, they don’t want ease the pain of others, offering the same grace they seek for themselves.
So, I need to remember it is up to me to offer that grace to others, knowing I don’t deserve the grace given to me.
Thanks, Mary. Good post.
Oh my, i so remember getting on to my girls for their eye rolling… so really unimportant now and so easy for me to “see ” that through your post and the years past since they have grown. Oh such “Grace” to remember in my everyday life… THANK YOU!
wow.. this is brilliant writing. Love this.. Eye rolling. 🙂 Thanks for the post, Mary.
xo
I was an eye roller, too. My mother hated that! 🙂
I’ve been told by my mother… and teachers… and my husband that “my face tells everything.” Even when I think I’m sneakily concealing my true emotions (anger, frustration, annoyance, etc.) and putting on a poker face, apparently it’s crystal clear to everyone what I’m REALLY thinking.
Sigh.
Sometimes it’s a bummer not to be able to fool everyone, but it reminds me to work on my attitude at heart, and not just my facial control. Cuz apparently I stink at that anyways 😉
Girl, I can’t wait to see those eyes roll in person at Blissdom–I’m sure I will do something worthy of that. (: Thanks for the reminder about everyday grace, my favorite kind!