"Love is of all the passions the strongest…"
~ Voltaire, French philosopher

Were we destined to simply be friends or could there be more?

I couldn't help it, but first impressions in dating were hard to shake. For better or worse, God knew how important this first date was to me.

I first met him at a church gathering.  He sent me an email.  What started as a trickle began a steady current of daily emails for a month, with each delivery growing longer, delving deeper.

Never has someone written me so many letters. Never had I felt so enamored.

Still, there was the question of chemistry.

The First Date

When my penpal finally asked me out on a date, I was a bit perplexed.  He invited me out for a movie and dinner. 

Hmm… this was to be our first date?  I was expecting something a little more "romantic".

Nope.  The date was set for the local AMC theatres.  Later that night, he drove me to a pizzeria.

With mugs of root beer in hand, we sat at a red and white checkered, plastic covered table.  It was between bites of pepperoni cheese pizza with black olives and pineapple, conversation tumbled and ebbed.

We talked and talked.  I didn't want it to end.  I know now, what I didn't know then.
I was falling in love.

That night was the most romantic date. Ever.

We are best friends.

Heart of Romance

There is a lot to be said about romance.  We each want it, hunger and feel it in different ways.  Little did I suspect that friendship held the key.

Not to say we didn't love candlelit dinners and cozy walks on the beach.  But, the romance grew out of a growing knowing. When I was all tangled up with relational fears, it was my best friend who said, "Just let me love you."

Dr. John Gottman, cofounder of The Gottman Institute, wrote a New York Times best seller, The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work.  He studied and followed over 600 newlywed couples since 1972 to find common ingredients in the successful marriages that avoided divorce. 

You'd think things like "common interests" or "absence of conflict and arguments" topped the list.  They didn't even make the list.

"The determining factor in whether wives and husbands feel satisfied with the sex, romance, and passion in their marriage is, by 70 percent (for both men and women), the couple's friendship." 

~ Dr. John Gottman in The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work

Fanning the Flames Of Friendship

Today, the daily backdrop of marriage includes kids that wake-up during the night, days seasoned with sleep deprivation, doing the dishes and taking out the trash. 

How do we keep romance alive?

We do whatever we can to steal away moments as friends. 

The cups of coffee we pour in the morning, to talk about what's ahead in the day.  The Netflix we manage to watch now and then in hourly batches, barraging the TV with comments as the peanut gallery.

Before we turn out the lights, we draw close and talk.

A Reflection Of God's Love

"A true friend is the person in whose light we shine the brightest."  Keely Chace

I realize that this earth-bound relationship is a reflection of God's love relationship with us. 

Spiritual conversation doesn't always have to be about
big things.  Sometimes I draw close to Him in a small moment — something as ordinary as a quiet shower in the morning.  It can trigger a current of conversation throughout the day.

Those microsecond flashes of God's friendship come can pop up when I drive, journal, cry, or feel exhausted.  It's quick.  But, I feel Him with me.

I want fireworks exploding and excitement.  But, God builds friendship in lackluster days.

God could work a miracle every day in my life, I guess.  But, then I'd be looking for signs, instead of a friend. 

Sometimes it's hard to remember that friendship isn't just a human affection.
It's a sacred devotion.

How do we cultivate chemistry and friendship with God — rather than studying Him like a graduate course in theology? 

We do whatever we can to steal away moments as friends.

One day, we won't have to struggle so hard to feel Jesus' touch or hear His voice.  We will be reunited, face to face, as the true bride with the One who holds our hands and passionately loves us in every way.

How do you fan the flame of friendship in everyday life with Jesus? 

With your loved ones?

by Bonnie Gray, Faith Barista

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Photo courtesy of Photobucket.

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