I have never been more content and more afraid of where God has guided my life than right now. I’m standing at the edge of the shore, watching the waves push new opportunities and experiences closer toward me as I dig my toes into the sand. There are some waves that I’m eager to reach for, to dive into and see what happens when I come up on the other side – moments of creativity, where I strive to capture the beauty of God’s creation through writing, photography, or worship.
These waves are easy. I seek these opportunities, putting myself in a position to be asked to use the talents God has given me. Will I take senior photos for the son of a dear sisterchick? Yes Lord! Will I hold a photo shoot for the worship ministry I work with? Amen Lord! Will I submit a guest blog for (in)courage? Praise God! I am content. I am stretched, but it is like introductory yoga– it feels good, and I am confident that I won’t fall over. I kneel into child’s pose, arms outstretched in obedience.
Then there are the waves that tower over me, promising the ride of a lifetime but also the fear of the unknown. To jump in means following God’s call for my family, letting go of what has become our “normal” and letting Him take us on a new adventure.
I am afraid. My heart races and I want to walk away. What will this next step mean for my job? My freedom to what I want, when I want? Will it even happen? What if it does, and I fail? There are too many questions; too much is out of my control for me to feel comfortable. This is advanced yoga stretching – standing on my head, letting go and trying to remember to breath.
At such a time as this, I decide that I want to dive in head first into the waves God puts before me. I believe that He loves me and will stand as lifeguard as I do my best to let His current take over and move me where He desires me to be. He does not call us to follow Him and drown, He calls us to follow Him and live.
I am content. I am still afraid. I uncurl my toes from the sand and take a few timid steps into the water. God’s call on my life swirls gently around my ankles as I move forward, encouraging me to step out in faith. He is waiting, arms outstretched to help me through the difficult moments. He tells me to come in, the water is fine. And I dive in.
“It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.” (Ephesians 11-12, The Message)
By Crystal Stine, Shine