Brown fingers curled over the edge of the car door, a window hidden below. The wind rushed by picking up the black as night strands in the midday heat. Her chin rested with pensive eyes above. Buildings, streets, trees and city-bustle zoomed by the girl seated next to her caregiver.
“Why are those people sleeping on the street?” the girl said.
They were on the way back from the doctor’s office, this girl and the director of the orphanage where she lives. A simple explanation was given stating that the people curled up on the pavement had no homes.
“I feel bad for the people who have no home,” the girl said.
Let’s back up a little and look at the facts of this girl’s life: at five years old her parents disowned her, abused, abandoned, homeless, she was given to our care, now has a bed of her own, and is growing up in an orphanage. Yet, she feels for the less fortunate.
Therefore she feels for the less fortunate.
How is it that a tiny orphan girl can see past the facts of her life and care for another human? I imagine most think she has it pretty rough. We probably feel bad for her, just as she felt for those sleeping on the street.
That general opinion of orphan life is a little secret we try to keep from them.
We don’t feel sorry for the children in our care here at our orphanage. Are we heartless? Quite the opposite. We acknowledge the hardship. We help to heal the wounds. We pray and hope for a better future. We forgive the past.
That being done we do not foster a sense of self-pity.
Invite pity and the children will not be strengthened. Cultivate pity and we blind them from seeing goodness around them. Self-pity left to fester breeds a cynic.
Helen Keller said it this way, “Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.”
Did Mordecai pity Esther? Could it be that you were born for such a time as this?
Imagine if this man had taught Esther the habit of self-pity. Rather than rehearsing her hard knocks he bolstered her faltering confidence and she rose to the challenge.
Did Miriam pity Moses? Should I go and find one of the Hebrew women to nurse the baby for you?
Miriam might have been crying at home had she not held to a sliver of hope for the life of her brother. The hope of this child gave Moses a chance to live and fulfill his destiny.
Did self-pity ever bring you to a good place? Really?
I acknowledge that you may be in a hard spot right now. Your life may have been defined by difficulty until now. Can you hear me today sitting next to you asking you to choose a different future? Can you curl your fingers over the car door and take a peak around you?
Be encouraged today by Esther, Moses and the little Bolivian girl to see beyond your suffering. Choose to not succumb to feeling sorry for yourself. Let the pain be a window into the lives of others around you. Feel for them. Be a voice for them. In finding this voice you will drown out the debilitating moans and groans of self-pity.
By: Angie Washington “at the @”
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Amy says
I absolutely needed to hear this today: “Let the pain be a window into the lives of others around you. Feel for them. Be a voice for them. In finding this voice you will drown out the debilitating moans and groans of self-pity.”
Thank you, @ngie – for your heart full of love and the courageous faith that you live out. I’m honored to call you friend.
@ngie says
Amy, I can only thank our Lord that He would choose to speak through this humble vessel to your ever willing heart. It is with gratefulness in my heart that I also count you as a friend. Keep up the good work, you are amazing!
Bindu says
Thank you Angie for writing this, its lovingly convicting.
“Did self-pity ever bring you to a good place? Really? ” Is definately a question I need to be reminded to ask myself again.
@ngie says
This is a question that comes back to my heart all too frequently. It is comforting to know I am not alone. Thank you for taking the time to comment.
Beth says
Man, did this ever speak to me! I’ve had a bit of a self-pitying morning that fortunately went from self-pity to healing and cleansing and just telling myself the truth about certain situations. This helped me gain a lot of perspective and realize I do not have it so bad. It was empowering for me, and I will be sharing it with others. Thank you for writing it!
@ngie says
Beth, it gladdens my heart to know that your day was turned around. I appreciate you telling me that you are going to share this with others.
By the way, I clicked through to your blog and did a quick scan. I found we have a mutual friend of a friend. Corey Schwartz is also a co-writer with my very good friend Rebecca Gomez (who commented on this post below as Becky). Small world, eh? 🙂
*SharonMarie*~ says
Excellent post!
@ngie says
SharonMarie, we serve an excellent God. 🙂
Livvy Lu says
I remember when I was first told this story on my visit to see you being floored that this precious girl was already so filled with love that she was able to see beyond her past hurts and pain to see the hurt of another! Those dreamer’s have so much to teach us!! Great post!!
@ngie says
Oh my sweet Livvy Lu, you are such a dear! What did I ever do to deserve you in my life! The only answer can be the grace of God.
Holley Gerth says
WOW, Angie, this is so powerful! I have been known to throw a pity party now and then–no more! I’m going to celebrate life and remember to look around for ways to help others instead. Thank you for this loving kick-in-the-behind. I needed it. 🙂
@ngie says
Holley you are too kind! This message is just as much for me as for anyone else. Thank you again for this open door to share with the lovely ladies who come to visit this spot.
Carin says
Thanks Angie, you always inspire me and so do your Dreamers!
@ngie says
Carin, my friend, I am glad to know you. Thanks for coming by and giving this a read through. Love ya!
Jenny says
Wonderful point! Loved it. We’ve had problems with teachers in the past who would “pity” our foster kids and not hold them accountable for bad behavior or not trying in the classroom. There is a huge difference between pity and empathy.
@ngie says
What a fun bunch of kiddos you have! Your blog very cute too. 🙂 I agree that there is a huge difference between pity and empathy. Thanks for your comment!
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Becky says
You’re right. Self-pity is just the shovel we use to dig our hole a little deeper. Great article!
@ngie says
Hi Becky! 🙂 Thanks for popping in over here. The shovel to dig our hole a little deeper is a perfect analogy!
Anonymous says
I can’t begin to tell you how that ministered to me. I am right there..the devil tries to keep me there but God wants me to rise above it…thanks for the reminder…
@ngie says
Dear Anon, I know how it feels to be going through junk! May you be strengthened today with the grace of God to keeping fighting the good fight of faith. Bless you!
Toni Smith says
NOTHING needs to be added to this but an AMEN!
@ngie says
Toni, may God bless you for your kindness.
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Charissa Steyn says
Love this… very beautiful written- thanks for touching my heart today Angela 🙂 Just found your blog and love it too 😉
@ngie says
Well, hello there, Charissa. 🙂 I appreciate you reading and then visiting “the @”. You are cool!
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Shauna Clay says
I also remember being told this story when I was in Bolivia last year. It makes my heart smile. What an encouraging word! Thank you, @ngie, for sharing!
@ngie says
Sweet Shauna! Thank you for being such a dedicated advocate for the Dreamers!
Laura@Life Overseas says
What a great image, excellent posting. I love the reminder that self-pity doesn’t really do anyone any good. Thanks for reminding us to all keep looking outside of ourselves.
Loved it.
Angie Washington says
Laura, I know that you know first hand that even with the needs on our front door step it still takes a decided effort to look beyond ourselves. I appreciate your kind words. Blessings!