Sometimes I miss it.
The life I led before my heart was wrecked.
The mindless shopping, constant redecorating, the boredom.
Don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing bad about those things. But for me, it was more about filling an empty place with more, More, MORE, but being left unsatisfied.
I exchanged the carefree for the responsibility of knowing. I can’t pretend there aren’t 30,000 children dying of preventable diseases today.
It’s heavy, this knowing. It keeps me up at night. The vastness of our dream, The Mercy House, makes me feel like a speck. When I wrap my brain around all that we are attempting to do, I can’t breathe.
I look at the naive, ignorant girl I was and I pity her. And sometimes I miss her.
I’ve exchanged the carefree for the pain of God.
I didn’t want this. I wanted to look away.
His heart is heavy with the pain of suffering for the people He created. The people for whom He died.
It doesn’t have to be Africa or Guatemala. It can be down the street or in your own home.
So many women have emailed me sharing bits and pieces of their pain, revealing their secrets and scars of rape and abuse. God knows their pain.
He bares it.
Then sometimes, He gives us a glimpse into His pain. He peels back the corner of His heart to reveal to us His pain. For His people.
And we let go of the carefree and know this pain of God.
I urge you today, to ask God to show you. Don’t look away.
Look around you.
Is there a deep, abiding pain in your life today? Tell us how we can pray for you.
Or have you seen into the pain of God? Please share with us, so we can bear each other’s burdens.
By Kristen Welch, We Are THAT Family