The Pain of God

Sometimes I miss it.

The life I led before my heart was wrecked.

The mindless shopping, constant redecorating, the boredom.

Don’t get me wrong: there’s nothing bad about those things. But for me, it was more about filling an empty place with more, More, MORE, but being left unsatisfied.

I exchanged the carefree for the responsibility of knowing. I can’t pretend there aren’t 30,000 children dying of preventable diseases today.

I know.

It’s heavy, this knowing. It keeps me up at night. The vastness of our dream, The Mercy House, makes me feel like a speck. When I wrap my brain around all that we are attempting to do, I can’t breathe.

I look at the naive, ignorant girl I was and I pity her. And sometimes I miss her.

I’ve exchanged the carefree for the pain of God.

I didn’t want this. I wanted to look away.

His heart is heavy with the pain of suffering for the people He created. The people for whom He died.

It doesn’t have to be Africa or Guatemala. It can be down the street or in your own home.

So many women have emailed me sharing bits and pieces of their pain, revealing their secrets and scars of rape and abuse. God knows their pain.

He bares it.

Then sometimes, He gives us a glimpse into His pain. He peels back the corner of His heart to reveal to us His pain. For His people.

And we let go of the carefree and know this pain of God.

I urge you today, to ask God to show you. Don’t look away.

Look around you.

It’s there.

Is there a deep, abiding pain in your life today? Tell us how we can pray for you.

Or have you seen into the pain of God? Please share with us, so we can bear each other’s burdens.

By Kristen Welch, We Are THAT Family

comments:
share:

comments (closed):

  1. 1
    Grace {Hope} says:

    I am just about the head off to work and i would love to know that someone is praying for me..
    I am still broken in parts of my heart I didnt know exisited about somehting that happened *feels* v recently.
    Your post was spot on to my heart and i feel moved to share a little..
    I was a missionary for almost 2 years and fell in love with who became my best friend out there. I dont fall easily, and i have many walls around my heart that made it painful to let this guy in. But i trusted him and believed he was falling for me back… his actions, words seemed, i thought, to show the understanding we had over that whole time, although we were never together, we were in our hearts. He told me things he said he’d never told anyone, and i saw his heart for what it really was.. amazing.
    We spoke to marraige and children and then….. it was over.
    He decided he didnt want it after all.
    How do you recover from that. In my heart i was commited for the long haul, havig a commitment phobia this was a big thing for me..
    Through circumstances i left the mission, my then home, the friends, and him.. and now im far away and its been 7 months and i still ache every hour of the day..
    I have let this go so many times and given it up to the Lord and i still have dreams every night about how i could have done things differently, of being rejected and of not being enough.
    I am sorry i have written so much but thank you for the chance to bear my burden, youll never know how much that means x

    • 2

      I’m praying for you now Grace-Hope.

      • 3

        Grace (Hope)-Your words catch my heart…I will pray for you, that the God of peace will reign in your heart and comfort and heal it. I’m so sorry for your loss. There is grief in your words, but I know that He wants to carry that burden for you.

    • 4
      patricia says:

      grace – hope…i know i fell upon your message not by accident. your story is so much like my daughters who had the same thing happen to her the end of july this year. she is 36, never been seriously in love and was always waiting for that special man in her life. She had been dating him for about two years and they talked of marriage and he treated her like a queen and they had a beautiful relationship. Three months ago he showed up at her door and said that he did not think the relationship could go to the next level and walked out. She had been heartbroken and it also breaks the hearts of all those that care about her. Her name is Heidi so if you would pray for her and know that you are not alone in your grief. I am a mother in sorrow feeling my daughters pain and not knowing how to help her recover.

      • 5
        Grace {Hope} says:

        Thank you for writing to me.. I just prayed for her and you.
        One thing i know for sure is.. It doesnt make sense, trying to make sense of it all doesnt work.
        The worst part is I have been awful to my mum during this time and i find myself just apologising to her over and over. I love her so much but i find everything anyone says to comfort just more painful.
        The only thing that helps me is when people dont say anything but pray, words from God… all i want is for my mum to hold me really tight, stroke my hair and tell me its gonna be ok.
        Sounds silly and really unhelpful, but it really means the most.
        Ive told her this and we understand each other better… but its still difficult. Its difficult because hurt is a huge black tear in the heart that only gets sewn up with time, and time in Gods hands is what carefully softens the blows.
        I am deeply touched by your care for your daughter and her pain, pray for her and be silent with her.. she’ll know when to talk if she knows your there.
        i always liked this – “it’ll be ok in the end, and if its not ok, its not the end”
        ‘It will come to pass’…..
        God bless you both x

  2. 6

    First, To Grace {Hope}, my prayer for you right now is that your name would be what Jesus gives, and within your brackets would be what’s spoken to your heart today. I’m so so sorry. How gut-wrenchingly hard.

    And, I loved this post Kristen. I really connected with it–the weight of the knowledge of the bigness of suffering is so hard to even think about, much less focus on, much lesser move to action to fight against.

    We are living in Thailand, running an children’s homes for girls, and one evening my husband and I found ourselves in the heart of Pattaya, one of the worst red-light districts in the world, with our three small children under 6 years old, completely by accident. It was physically sickening. Oppressive. And it left me in tears, even the next day on the beach.

    I wrote about it here: http://www.lauraleighparker.com/2010/08/knowledge-of-pattaya/

    There are no answers, except, I agree, NOT to look away.

    Thanks for the reminder of that, today, Kristen.

    • 7
      Grace {Hope} says:

      thank you so so much, grace and hope – you are right, i never thought about that,
      may God bless you my dear x

  3. 8

    Kristen, thank you for seeing with God’s eyes, listening with His ears, loving with His heart–and encouraging all of us to do the same.

  4. 9

    Ignorance is bliss…

    Ignorance WAS bliss… :/

    Kristen, thank you for your encouragement-filled challenge. I’ve said it before and I’ll keep saying it–your follow through inspires me. Me? I have all these good thoughts; I even talk the talk. But walking it? I have so…long… to go. Thank you for what you’re doing in obedience to seeing.

    ((Stopping to pray for Hope {Grace}; I hear her pain…and know that even in the midst of it, God is at work; THAT is great reason for hope!))

  5. 11

    We are so ignorant of suffering here in our comfortable America…but you are so right that people are suffering right under our noses. If you can’t go to a foreign country..don’t worry, there’s plenty here for you! Look around…but with God’s eyes not your own. You’ll be surprised at what you see.

  6. 12

    Hi, Kristen. You captured so well what it’s like to have one’s heart wrecked by seeing the suffering children of God in our nation and our world. My heart was wrecked during 8 years in Africa, and yet “wrecked” is not the end of the story. Wrecked led to being alive! God used that to motivate me to DO something to help! It’s a ministry that can last as long as a person lives. Thank you for all you’re doing to bring The Mercy House into being. God is doing a powerful thing in and through TMH that will enable His love to be felt for many in need. Generations to come will be blessed!

  7. 13

    It’s people like you….that help people like me see beyond myself!
    Thank you for sharing and reminding each of us that life isn’t all about US!!
    Your passion is contagious!

  8. 14

    While I have personally seen the type of devastation you describe except for on the precious blogs I’ve read, I can tell you that I see pain and suffering right here around us…in our neighborhood, in our school, in our church. Families and marriages are broken. It is quite overwhelming, even in the “Christian” community. A quiet place in my heart has remained heavy for some time over these realities, and really only recently has God opened my eyes to the true suffering of His people all over the world.

    I, too, sometimes think it would be so much easier to go back to the days in my mind before I saw the Truth…then I am quickly reminded that I have never felt more “alive” than now b/c I’ve experienced God in a real, tangible way through my own suffering and seeing through a new lens, the suffering of others.

    Thank you for sharing this post!!

  9. 15

    I totally completely without a doubt know what you are saying Kristen…it is so true! This past weekend at the Relevant Conference confirmed that I need to share my pain. I’m praying hard and listening intensely to hear how I need to do that. A book, my blog, someone elses blog??? I’m not sure how but I know there are others that can and will need my story to move on. Would you just pray that I hear God tell me how? I have a long story of being molested, being raped, and being cheated on. I grow stronger every day because I now know, none of it was my fault. Kristen… so thankful to have met you this weekend. You are just beautiful in your words and actions!

  10. 16

    this is appropriate..just saw a news report on the people of haiti and the cholera issue…breaks my heart…yes there were those days where i couldn’t bear to hear the pain going on in the world….that my heart felt like it couldn’t take it…and also what could I ever do that would help or matter..but now i know that no matter what I can always pray..no money needed..no travel required…so when i feel like there’s nothing i can do, God has given me a way to help…thanks for the reminder…

  11. 17

    K, our 3 year old daughter, Danica, just had her second brain surgery and a spinal fusion three weeks ago tomorrow. The pain I witnessed in the Children’s hospital was so profound. The pain my daughter is suffering in her recovery is so daunting. God is meeting us here in the brokenness and hurt and His grace is greater! http://www.teamdanica.com/2010/10/much-afraid-more-alive.html

    I really appreciated this post. Thank you for continuing to encourage. Monica

    • 18

      Monica, I’m putting Danica (and your family) on my prayer list this morning. We have spent three years in and out of a children’s hospital with my son who is battling leukemia (chemo., relapse, bone marrow transplant). Praise God my son seems to be recovering, but none of us can shake away the pain we saw at the hospital. I don’t think we were meant to “put it behind” us, but rather to respond with prayer, hospitality, and compassion. Thanks for sharing.

    • 19

      Monica, i feel your pain. My grandson underwent brain surgery a year ago. He was 11 months old. He will be 2 next week and I am a changed person because of it. Just like you i don’t ignore the suffering at our local Childrens hospital anymore. You spend so much time there, you make friends, you share stories, the pain, you pray, you grief. I’ll pray for your little one and all the other little heroes.

    • 20
      Grace {Hope} says:

      Praying for you monica x

  12. 21

    This post spoke right to my heart. It’s like you took the words out of my mouth. Sometimes I feel like throwing the towel in, just no more ministry or sacrifice. But, then I remember when I was on my OWN path how much hurt and confusion there was… so much more than there is right now. I’ve had a lot of hurt in my life, from friends, guys and family… it just seems like one person after another drops out of my life. God is the only constant in my life. My prayer request is that my relationship with God would continue to grow deeper, and for some healing in my heart.

  13. 22

    Sweet Kristen, your words hit the nail right on the head for me too…especially this line, “I’ve exchanged the carefree for the pain of God.”. I prayed the “break my heart for what breaks yours” prayer and never did I expect my heart to be broken into millions of little pieces of shreds that cry out to make a difference through local and foreign missions. Not me…that’s what I used to say…now I say thank goodness He’s called me. Well said girl, well said! <3 Mel :)

  14. 23

    Kristen, I agree you hit the nail on the head. Lately I have been broken apart by whats right in front of my face. Poverty within my own community with a family behind us. Living in a home just like ours. It breaks my heart…Seeing this young mom a new widow suffer and her 4 boys. Or like tomorrow going to the Oncology floor of my hospital those who have no one to talk to or share the journey . A hard one…so they do it alone. My own survivor heart shatters each time. As.I walk through the doors for my appointments. I find myself stepping out side of me to share with them. If it is only a smile , a hand held or a prayer. Only God gives that kind of strength. Or the young mom, whose child needs care and they simply can’t afford medicine , let alone food. So much of what we witness is profound. Sometimes all I can do is pray with the person…But through you realize sometimes that is the best possible way to help. I ask for a prayer of strength due to where God has placed me.

  15. 24

    I have these heart aches that I just don’t know what to do with.

    I barely know my father (have met him a handful of times) and my mom has always been completely detached and neglectful at times. Abusive, at times. But, I’m an adult now and thinking about kids of my own.

    My heart aches deeply for a mother and father that know and love me. For someone to show me how to bake and pray for my husband.

    Someone to just run errands with.

    Someone who calls and checks in to say “I haven’t heard from you in a few days…how did that doctor appointment go?”

    Someone who will tell me their secrets for getting stains out.

    Someone to tell me the hard things God taught them so that I don’t make the same mistakes.

    My heart is on the look out for a mother. (Even though my head is saying its time to grieve the lost years…they’re gone)

    I know that God can restore things. I know that. But, that doesn’t mean it will be in the form my heart is currently craving. The pain comes from letting go of what I want.

    I know that God is my Father. I know the hairs on my head are numbered. It is easy to understand these concepts when you have a mother who brushed your hair, told you you were funny and talented, and who made you feel her love. Its harder for some of us to even understand what these things mean.

    And I think that really pains our God.

    There have been a couple of people who’ve said “you’re like a daugther to me”. Women who have mourned my family situation with me and said they wished they’d been around when I was a child to brush my hair… These people don’t know the weight of their words.

    There’s no consistency. I haven’t spoken to them in months. They have their own daughters. Through social networking I can see they are busy celebrating important things with their daughters. And I feel guilty that it hurts so badly. But it does.

    I just keep telling myself they are not really my mothers. I cannot hold them to that standard. They just don’t know what it meant to me to hear “you are like a daughter to me and I love you”. I thought words like that were promises. But, they’re just words and momentary human feelings. They were not commitments. I’m sure there are moments where they see me similar to their daugthers. But, my guess is that nothing can really be just the same as the love a mother has for their daughter. It must be a beautiful thing.

    But my heart is aching from what feels like abandonment.
    And I don’t know what to do with it.

    • 25

      Your words stood out to me because my own mother has that kind of relationship or lack of relationship with her mother. Too say it doesn’t hurt her would be a lie, even as a mother and now grandmother it still hurts her now and then. But here’s the hope. She broke the cycle, she is the best and most godly mother I know. My mom always says because she didn’t have that mother encouraging her and believing in her, she chose to be different. And she has been different, she has been the kind of mother that did brush my hair and encourage me. Praying for you that God restores all things, your words remind me so much of my own mom’s when talking about my grandmother (her mom).

      • 26

        Thank you. I hope someday, my daughter is able to encourage someone with these same words. “She broke the cycle…she has been the kind of mother that did brush my hair and encourage me…”

        That’s a really beautiful picture you painted :]

    • 27

      ErinBeth,
      Your words drip with a pain and sorrow I can’t even comprehend. I see the void and the longing in your heart. So does God. Can I gently encourage you to give this to Him? The wanting? He can be your parent, only He can fill the empty spaces. I will pray for you. That you will feel His love in a tangible way thru others.

    • 28

      Dear Erinbeth,
      I am so very sorry. I wish I could give you a big hug. I believe the Lord wants you to have the desire of your heart. Keep crying out to Him.

      I have four daughters and three sons and others who call me, “Mama.” Two of our sons are adopted from Russia. They were thrown away by their parents. They became our sons when they were 6 and 7. That was 6 years ago. We have been praying for wisdom in dealing with the holes in their hearts. The Lord, in His Wisdom, has healed so much. But recently, He told me to dig deeper into the wound. I knew His timing would be perfect, even though I was hesitant to “stir anything up.”

      The Lord revealed to me that the gaping hole in their hearts required a special measure of His Grace (the power and desire to do God’s Will). I sat them down and explained that the actions of their biological parents had wounded their spirits. The Lord was asking them to acknowledge those wounds and then choose to forgive them. But the act of forgiveness was not enough. For “the years the locusts had eaten” to be redeemed was going to require more. So I told them my very favorite story about forgiveness, from Bill Gothard:

      He said there were two brothers living in an area of the world where the main crop was rice. These brothers had their field on a terraced slope on the side of a mountain. The terrain was such that the rice farmers had to cut these terraces and then build earthen dams around the perimeter of their fields to hold water. These fields are then irrigated by hand: the daily task of carrying buckets of water from the river up to cover their field.

      These two brothers became Christians. While they were still new in their faith, they arrived at their rice field one morning to quite a shock. The neighbor whose field was just below theirs on the hillside had cut a hole in their earthen dam and drained all of their water onto his field. As Christians, they knew they were supposed to forgive him. So they made the conscious choice to forgive. They repaired the damage and painstakingly irrigated their field. It was a large job.

      The next day, the same scene greeted them. The neighbor had, once again, drained all their water onto his field. Determined to honor the Lord, they forgave again and began the arduous task of repairing and re-irrigating their field. They had truly forgiven this man, but they knew they were also supposed to love him. They really didn’t feel love for him and it troubled them.

      Day Three. Same thing. By this time, they were truly distraught. They knew they had been obedient by choosing to forgive, but they also knew there was more. Something was missing.

      They went to visit a very wise man in the village. After explaining their predicament, his answer surprised them. He told them to start their work the next morning by first irrigating their neighbor’s field, then their own.

      Somewhat incredulous, they decided it was worth a try.

      The next morning, they faithfully started their day by beginning to irrigate the field of their “enemy.” A surprising thing happened. The longer they worked, the lighter their hearts. In fact, without even trying to manipulate their feelings, love for this man began to grow.

      They decided to try it again, so the following morning they set out to irrigate their neighbor’s field and then their own. They found their hearts so full that they were singing. Love for this man continued to grow in them.

      Day Three was filled with even more joy and love as they labored to bless this man who had wronged them. And, most surprising of all??

      Their neighbor came up to them as they were working to irrigate his field that day. He was weeping as he asked them, “You are Christians, aren’t you?”

      Beyond their wildest imagination, they were allowed, in Love, to share the Gospel with him.

      Moral of the story: When we voluntarily invest something of value in the life of the one who has wronged us, we will not only be able to forgive but also to truly love that person. And that sets us completely free!!!

      Our two adopted sons, with tears running down their faces, agreed that the Lord wanted them not only to forgive their parents, but to truly love them. They now pray everyday for their parents to come to know Jesus.

      While you are waiting for the Lord to give you the desire of your heart, He may also want to heal the broken places caused by not being truly loved by your mother.

      I know to the marrow of my being that He will carry you gently and lovingly to a place of healing and hope. He will be Everything to you that you need and He knows the depth of your pain and suffering. I pray right now that He will wrap you in His arms as you climb up into His lap and you will lay your head on His chest and lay all your wounds at His feet. May He stop up your ears so that you do not listen to any of the lies the evil one whispers into your ears about your identity. You are not a pauper or an orphan. You are the most loved daughter of the King and He delights in you.

      • 29

        well, goodness…the tears are coming now.

        Thank you for your wisdom. I am still in touch with my mom and I see her semi-regularly. I just committed, yesterday (before seeing this), to pray consistently for her salvation. And I discovered some serious resistence in my heart that I don’t understand.

        I’m going to spend some time praying about what irrigating my parent’s fields might look like.

  16. 30

    Losing my daughter opened me up to pain I never believed I would survive, im still not sure I have. Yet I do know God is good and why Jesus cares for my baby, i am going to carry on foster caring poorly children and love them here as my own. It is far from easy yes I wish I could sometimes find the carefree me again. Thank you for allowing me to feel confident in sharing my pain.

  17. 32

    Thank you for this post.

    It’s hard to look and to feel because if you do, you’re left with two choices. You can step out and do something about it which will no doubt cause you to stretch yourself. Or, you can turn away. And turning away cannot be an option anymore.

    I just used this verse this morning in my post…

    “How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses to help? Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.” 1 John 3:17, 18

  18. 33

    the pain of God..I never looked at from that perspective. That the pain I am seeing in the home that I live in, the suffering of family members back in DRC, and my sorrow are really a glimpse of what God bears for his children. Where I currently live, I experience the brokeness of a lost Eve in the ways in which she hurts me, and wrecks havoc in her own household. Yet, God never allows me to dwell to nurse my feelins of anger and retaliation for too long. Instead he pushes me to offer compasion; to see the real hurt caused by our Ennemy; to take part in his work. And it is one of the hardest things I have had to do.
    The situation of my family back in DRC is one that speaks of poverty, lack of options, lost generations, and seeming hopelessness. I am planning on going back next summer, after being away for more than a decade. Knowing this, many of my family members have contacted and continue to contact me to express their various needs. It’s too big. To heavy. To much. It leaves me overwhelmed. Gasping for breath. I ache to help ease some of their suffering, but the need is so huge. So impossible for me. Part of me wants to not go back to visit, to carry on leaving a good life, to turn a blind eye to the sorrow, to forget, to pretend it’s not there. But God won’t let me. He’s put this on my path, just as he had done with Joseph. He’s been stilling my panic, and gently reminding me that he is in control. That he has promised good things. And your post today, allowed me to understand that I don’t need to be anxious, because the pain I feel is his as well. He knows, and cares. HE will come through.

  19. 34

    We all know pain, our own pain and the pain around us and in our world. I spent so many years in denial. Denial because my own pain was just too great to bear. But denial takes a lot of energy to maintain, and it suppresses all true feeling, including joy. So it inevitably broke through.

    And once you open to pain, then it’s very hard to pick and choose which pain to feel. If I feel pain over having an autistic child, then I feel pain when another mother suffers because her child is sick or hungry or lost. I feel pain when I read the open-hearted broken-hearted comments that precede mine. How do we hold so much pain in our hearts without being overwhelmed?

    Thich Nhat Hanh suggests craddling our feelings like a baby. We can comfort our hurt, soothe our anger, calm our fear, and delight in our joy. I love that image, and I sometimes think of it when I am pouring out my heart to God. (So if you see me sitting in the floor crying and talking to a baby you can’t see …) And we do what you have allowed us all to do here–we voice our hurt. and share each other’s pain, and hold each other up.

  20. 35

    Kristen,
    Thank you for writing this. I have always been confused by the people close to me who say “oh I can’t hear about things like that. It’s too upsetting.” or “gosh, that’s awful please don’t talk about it.” It was a blessing to meet you and know that there are others who like me can’t look away simply because it’s easier. Others who know we must do something! Others who are broken for the things that break His heart. In speaking with you I felt understood. Looking away and going about our care-free lives is what’s easier but not what’s right. Thank you for sharing your heart with us!
    Brittany

    • 36

      Brittany,
      Yes, I totally get this! Thanks for taking the time to seek me out. I enjoyed getting to know you and I look forward to what God has in store for the future.

  21. 37

    Goodness, thank you for this post. I can definitely identify with your feelings~ I sometimes reflect on how ‘easy’ life was before I started carrying around this gut-wrenching ache in my stomach for the abandoned, the lost, and the far from God. Thanks.

  22. 38

    My heart is breaking, overflowing with the ugliness of divorce. I know that God can heal, and will, but it hurts so much.

  23. 39

    I understand everything about this post. Everything that is said and isn’t said. The “wish I didn’t know’s”. I often call it BC. Or in our case, “before crisis.”
    But it many aspects, it can be seen as “Before Christ” as well. Until you take on the pain that is out of your comfort zone, out of you human bounds of your heart, do you fully understand the love of Christ, and the “sharing of his sufferings.” Almost 5 months ago, my child was sexually assaulted. This was one of my worst nightmere’s as a mother. I couldn’t even stand to hear Oprah talk about it. Days after confirming it was assault, we then found out that it happened at the one place we felt safest, and let our gaurd down, Church. Then all I felt I knew and understood about God, humans, and safety was dramatically wrecked. As the nightmere played itself out over the weeks, the effects of this one man’s sin destroyed so much of my life. My friendships, my church home, my trust, my child’s innocence, and the list goes on and on. The bills from the counseling, the hospital, the doctor’s office came flooding in months after we finally were able to take a breath again. My husband shouted after getting the mail, “When is it enough? When have we paid for this enough?! We didn’t ask for this! We didn’t deserve this! This is not ours to bear, not ours to pay for anymore! Haven’t we sufferend enough?!”
    And in that moment, with tears and brokenness. We understood. We understood a miniscual part of the pain our Jesus bore. Of the unsolicted anguish of our Saviour. He didn’t deserve any of it.
    It was crippling.
    I will never forget sitting in the office of the Missing and exploited children’s Unit, looking at the sibling pair waiting in the office for their gaurdian to decide what to do with them. I knew this stuff happened. But I had never SEEN it. I definatley had never lived it.
    I can’t go back. I can’t erase the faces and the feelings I now walk, talk, and sleep with at night. It is painful. It is excruitiating at times. But is my path now. And I can no longer turn a deaf ear, nor a blind eye. I would much rather spend my time organizing a women’s bake sale. But now I am organizing a support group for parents of assaulted and raped children.
    I see into the pain of God now. And it hurts. But I can’t close my eyes. Nor will I chose to. No matter the cost.
    Thank you for this post.
    Here is a link to my story:
    http://dollfamilyzone.blogspot.com/search/label/breaking%20the%20silence

    • 40

      Abbe-
      I am so sorry for the pain you have/are experiencing. I believe these things break God’s heart in two. So, He understands your own brokenness. It sounds like your journey is leading you deeper into Him. I am praying for you tonight.

  24. 41

    Kristen,

    I’ve been reading your blog since before Africa, and I just feel compelled to tell you the beautiful changes that God is doing in you. I can read it in your words and see in in your compassion for all of these women.

    Thank you for giving them an opportunity to share their pain and a place that is safe.

    When you feel the pain of God so deeply, and are so burdened with his heart, your eyes are veiled to the changes he’s making in you. I know you don’t feel brave. I know you don’t feel worthy. But God is changing you.

    Press on.

  25. 42

    I want to echo what Eyvonne wrote,Kristin. I was telling someone about you today and how amazed I am at the way you MOVE. Your words at Relevant are forever in my heart: “Do something! JUMP!” I’m ready to jump. Thank you for the encouragement.

  26. 43

    I’d love it if you would pray for me. A sister in the Lord, and friend, is drinking again. She has a bad history with alcohol and needs to STOP.

    monica

  27. 45

    Dear kristen,

    Thank you so much for your very caring and Loving Godly Heart who really cares about the hurting.

    I have been on the healing journey with the Lord from a very painful past. Sometimes it feels so unbearable but I do keep on going even though sometimes I find myself becoming frozen. Sometimes just barely inching forward, but I’m fighting the enemy and will not give up! He will not stop me even if it’s just a 1/4 of an inch that I move forward. But it’s the faithful prayers of the righteous ones that keeps me going when I can’t even pray for myself. Thank you so much for your prayers, not just for me but for all the women who have shared and/or reached out to you!

    I’ve been reaching out to one of you leaders and she has been so faithful and supporting and caring towards me. You all have no idea what it means when someone shows compassion and kindness to someone who has experienced very little of it.

    THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!

    In Christ’s Love & Prayers
    Sis in Christ

  28. 46

    I just recently wrote on my own blog my personal story of exchanging the carefree for God’s pain like you mention– he spoke to me through a song called “Give me your eyes.” Read my story and how I am changing, http://www.burgessbasecamp.blogspot.com

  29. 47

    God’s been wrecking me about this same thing over the past year or so!! My priorties are changing for sure!! :) Thanks!!

  30. 48

    I’ve had this page open all day, not really knowing how to respond except for, “Me too.” I’ve been to Africa and seen God’s heart, but today I was in downtown Seattle and I cried for God’s world. My heart is so burdened by these people — business men walking past homeless men and not acknowledging them, living in the same place, but leading such different lives. And yet none of them are smiling. They are hurting. And my heart hurts for them too. I feel the pain of God in the lost hearts of the people in my beloved city.

  31. 49

    Kristen! I adored meeting you face to face. I loved this post! I love the first 2 lines… sometimes I miss it, the life I had before my heart was wrecked…

    You reminded me that Jesus wants our hearts to be wrecked for Him, for others, not for ourselves! To reach out, beyond ourselves, and see others… in need.

    Thank you thank you thank you…. I emailed you :-)

    Love,
    Traci @ Ordinary Inspirations

  32. 50
    Jasmine says:

    Kristen,
    You wrote what I’ve been feeling for some time now. My husband and I have recently been made aware of the 27 million slaves in the world today. There’s no looking away now. We are comitted to shopping differently. Somedays its so hard. Uganda has been placed on hearts and we feel a move will be in our near future. We would be so thankful for prayers as we begin this process. My constant prayer is for God to break my heart for the things that break His!

  33. 51

    I am struggling greatly with some broken areas of my own heart. It’s keeping me awake at night and haunting my days. I am exhausted. God seems silent. Mentally, I feel like I could just break. I could certainly use some prayers.

  34. 52

    Depending on how you look at it “Break my heart with what breaks yours” was the best or the worst prayer I have ever prayed. My heart has broken thousands of times since that prayer and I can’t ignore God calling me to action. Sometimes I wish I could. I wish I could pull the covers over my head. I wish I could buy a coffee and not think about how far that money would have gone for one of my Compassion children.

    I can’t ignore my broken heart though. There is no going back.

    Bless you.

  35. 53
    Kristine says:

    Thank you so much for your post…I was sent over here from “We Are THAT Family”…I love to read you. My family could use a prayer. We are in the midst of huge financial problems and are filing bankruptcy. I feel guilty and depressed and as much as I pray for this stress to be resolved(it seems we’ll never get out of this mess), I seem to have lost faith. I cry daily and can see that my daughters are also feeling this(which kills me even more). I just want to be able to pay my bills…and have an ordinary life…and become closer to God. I can’t say how much prayers would mean to us. I would also appreciate prayers for my brother in law and his wife who, along with a group from their church, are headed to Guatemala this week. They know it will change their lives forever and I have sent them links to your blog and stories. Thank you….

  36. 54

    Inspired. Loved that God has allowed our paths to cross.

    I am praying for you sweet Kristen!

  37. 55

    Trying to fill that empty space, empty place. All the tweets from relevant 10 were so wonderfully convicting and heart changing. To let Jesus fill my empty places – why not? They’re empty :D

    Then I can be a help to my hurting neighbors, friends, and family because it’s He’s bearing my pain and he can bear theirs too.

    I’m so blessed by your words today.

  38. 56
    Jennifer says:

    Thank you so much for your post, it was what I needed today. My family and I really need prayer, as we are working on a project for our hometown of Colorado Springs. About a year ago, God began putting the teens of our city on our hearts, and through research and talking with people we discovered some very sad, even scary things: there are not very many places for our teens to go where they feel welcome that is not a mall, there are many, many churches in our city yet not many teen ministries or outreaches, and the saddest of all-Colorado Springs is in the top five cities in America for teen suicide. As a result of learning this, and with God’s prompting, we have begun the process of opening a non-profit teen center. It will be a place that teens can come and feel safe, where they can hang out in a cafe area, do homework in the study/computer room, have band practice in the sound proof rooms, or play games and just talk in the living room. We have come a long way since God put that first prompting in our hearts, yet there’s a long way to go. We covet your prayers for this endeavor, that we will stay in God’s will for the center, that the right people will be placed in our path, and us in theirs, to help with this. That God will be working on their hearts before we even meet so that when we approach them they will know His leading, as well as us. And above all, pray we keep this in perspective-it’s not about us, it’s all about Him and the work He is going to do through the center for the teens of our hometown. If anyone wants to learn more about the center, or wants more specific prayer requests, feel free to email me @ potosrose@gmail.com.

  39. 57

    This has such a familiar tone to my life. I’m newly divorced of 3 months and trying to find this life of joy and happiness that God promises. I really more than any of that want to find peace. My view of life has been altered by the actions of my ex-husband. What I thought, I no longer think. What I believed of love and life, I no longer believe. I hurt in ways I didn’t think I could or would. However there is hope that I will not let this consume me and that I will find that joy, happiness and even peace.

  40. 58

    The Pain of God is really on me now. I have been praying for God to work on my husbands heart to help me bring him back to God and church. Little did I know he would answer my prayer with my husband going to jail. I am scared to death right now, we have been maried for almost 20 years and I know without as doubt that this is the man God picked for me. God has been working really hard on him in jail and I have seed a change in him I never knew was possible. He has been witnessing and praying with other inmates in the jail and I know God uses us in ways we cannot even fathom. God has been working on me as well and I am seeing mircales happen around me that are amazing. I am just in need of prayers for strength and faith to get thru this storm. My husband and I are committed to put God first and I pray Gods will is for us to able to serve his will physically together with our three boys.

  41. 59

    God bless you

  42. 60

    Pain we have experience are pass by , let always put to God all things happen in our life

Trackbacks

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by WeareTHATfamily and desibrown, Chele Chestnut. Chele Chestnut said: RT @wearethatfamily: The Pain of God…it's all around you, perhaps in you? http://www.incourage.me/2010/10/the-pain-of-god.html […]