I totally set myself up last January.
2009 was a year filled with really hard things for me. My disease [ankylosing spondylitis] had progressed, and I developed steroid-induced Cushings trying to treat it, which created more pain on top of pain than I thought possible. Added to all of that – my mostly homebound existence turned into a completely homebound one. I went from at least sitting on my patio for some fresh air to never being able to open a window or a door again.
I was pretty sure it couldn’t get any worse than 2009. I was so ready to jump into 2010 and revel in what I was sure was going to be a rebuilding year.
Ahhh… the best laid plans.
My disease continued to progress this year. I lost more abilities to do things within my home, my immune system depleted to the point where I now have to give a checklist to people before I can let them in to see me…
and worst of all…
I lost my dad.
I lost the most important man in my life, and I couldn’t even go home to his funeral. 2010 definitely exceeded my expectations. I couldn’t even have imagined one as tumultuous as this.
Now, here I am, knocking at the door of 2011.
Thankfully, it’s not in my nature to be pessimistic.
Instead, I’m thinking of something Dad said about his life and how he was living it. Dad believed that we are all just spiritual beings put here on earth to live out our human existence.
Think about that for a minute.
Imagine if we all went about our lives remembering the core of who we are… a Spirit born in the image of Christ… who is sent here to fulfill a purpose before going back home.
I forget that so easily. I want to make this life all about me. All about my human existence instead of my spiritual being. I want to worry about my health and my finances and my housing and my potential. I want less pain and more easy. I want I want I want.
But what I have is a mission. A purpose. I am here to live the best life I can with what I have been given. I am here to live out this human existence as a spiritual being… a servant to God and His people… before I head back home to Him.
Dad died in the most random way. He is one of the less than 1% of people who got stung by an insect and died of anaphylactic shock. He was strong and healthy and full of life, but it was his time to go Home. We don’t know the day. We don’t know the hour. But we do know we have a purpose. And it’s the same one for all of us.
We are here to live out our human existence… as a Spirit born of Christ… before going back home.
So I’m not going to worry about starting over in a new year. I’m not worried about what 2011 might bring. I’m not setting myself up this January.
I am simply keeping in mind that this life isn’t about me and my goals and my wants and my worries. I am here to fulfill His purpose for me, and my job is to keep my eyes open so I don’t miss it.
How about you? Are you ready to embrace the life God has entrusted to you? Are you ready to live His purpose?
By Sara Frankl, Gitzen Girl