Many of my favorite little-girl memories revolve around my mother’s mother…I called her MemMem. Although I only spent eight years with her, the legacy she left will live for generations. Her sweet face; a face that owned a button nose, dancing green eyes, and a warm smile, resides unfading in my memories. Yet still, I wish I had more photographs of her. I wish I could show my children how she looked when she held me, sewed my Halloween costumes, and baked special treats.
Having so few photographs of my MemMem has prompted me to be more vigilant about allowing my picture to be taken even when I do not look so great (which, truth be told, is more often than not).
Sure, I want my children to one day look back at old photos and see me looking poised and polished.
I want them to see that I was a girly mommy who liked to feel pretty.
But, I also want them to see that I was not perfect…
…that I woke up in the morning with an extreme case of bed-head and an intense need for coffee.
I want them to see that I was a bit of a goofball.
I want them to see that sometimes I talked, when I should have been listening.
I want them to see that sometimes I played.
I want them to see that sometimes I held on too tight.
I want them to see that I made mistakes, but that I tried so hard to do the right thing.
I want them to see that true beauty rests in love…not make up.
I want them to see me… an imperfect, child-of-God who could be a bit of a control-freak and had to learn over and over again that it was OK to let go. I want them to see the woman who made lopsided birthday cakes, had a sassy-streak, and talked way too much. I want them to see that I had bad hair days (and bad hair color days). I want them to see that I was not always trendy or sophisticated. I want them to see that their mother was flawed, but that the grace of God had the power to evoke beauty from failure.
I want them to see who I really was…so that they feel empowered to be who they were created to be.
By Angela Nazworth who tries to blogs at www.becomingme.net
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This is sooo good Angela! I am most often the one taking the pictures, so I am very INfrequently in them–personally I kind of like it that way because I’m not thrilled with the way I look most of the time, and am overly critical when I see myself in pictures. You’re right though, I need to let my kids have pictures of me as I am, not as I wish I was, but as they will remember me. I need to get it through my own thick head that the outward beauty I long for is nothing without drawing my true beauty from Who loves me and how I love others. Very good reminder!
Thank you, Shaunie! I too have hidden behind the camera. I have a hunch that when you are old and gray, your kids are going to look through old photos and rave about your inner and outer beauty and the beauty you added to their lives.
That was really sweet and beautiful. Refreshingly honest. Thanks for writing and sharing!
Thank you. I’ll admit…it took guts to post one of those. 😉
i love these photographs of a REAL person, but more than that, i love the way you aer thinking about your legacy.
Thank you, Kendal!!
Thank you for putting it that way. I love my camera, focused on others. I do need to allow more pictures of me being me.
Love this! Thanks for sharing. Including it in my Saturday Shoutouts this week.
Me too, Angela….Me too!
From one mama to another!
Great. Perfect. Thanks for reminding us all to be…us.
I’m always so critical of my self in pictures….I really need to change that! I should be trying to appear perfect when I’m not. Thanks for sharing the honest pictures of yourself! They’re beautiful!
my heart says…ditto!
A great lesson for us all!
I realized this when my grandpa (who was like my father) died a few years ago.
I was days away from having my baby girl. My second child. I realized I didn’t have all that many pictures to do the great man justice. I no longer bow out of pictures. I want them to have me included in their memories and be able to look through and show their children one day.
Much more important than vanity in my book 😉
Thanks!
This last year I strived to be in more photos. It is a struggle for me, but I do it for my girls.
dear angela,
our children never see us the way we see ourselves,
but you are wise to give them a glimpse of a woman
who loves cherishes them and not pretense.
What a wonderful reminder to get over myself and my vanity and give my children and their children ways to remember me!
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Great stuff! “I want them to see that their mother was flawed, but that the grace of God had the power to evoke beauty from failure.” – I love how you worded this. I have the same heart’s desire. Thank you for sharing so transparently!
This was a great post!
Growing up, I always loved seeing photos of my mom and grandmothers, and the ones where I am in them are even more special to me now that I’m a mother.
Thanks for the reminder to get over myself and just get in the photos with them!
Yes, that is so true! I have been in next to no pictures since I got heavy. Now that I no longer have babies, it makes me sad. I have maybe one picture with my three littlest ones as babies because I refused to have my pic taken. My Grandma was the same way and she died at 49. her children WANT pictures of her but there are very, very few to be had and that is very sad. I’ve been making an effort to be in photos lately. It’s hard but I am doing it because they don’t care about my fat, they just want to SEE me 🙂 Great post1
Blessings,
Mel
Please feel free to stop by: Trailing After God
This makes me encouraged and sad at the same time. I’m in very few pictures and I think about it from time to time, but don’t do anything about it. I’m the only one in my home that even takes pictures! Gotta fix this! Thanks for the great post, Angela. 🙂
Oh, I really loved this!! I am in SO FEW pictures with my children. In fact, mostly when they were just babies. This makes me want to be more intentional about getting into pictures with them, whether I look perfectly presentable or not. Thank you, thank you for this inspiration and perspective.
Angela!!!!!!!!!! LOVE this encouragement!!!
How many times have I said this to others….and forgotten it myself? Ugh…let the picchas (or void thereof) speak for themselves.
Now that my kids are all teens, I’d venture to say it’s even more important :).
Good for you for thinking to post this!!!
I need to remember this. I don’t like my picture to be taken and I’m usually the one behind the camera.
I love this. We have no shortage of photos in this household with hubby & I being photographers, but too often we’re not actually in the photos. Or I make him delete the ones where I don’t look good, etc. Clearly, I’m not going to frame one where I look like a goofball, but still, it’s me and I want even my great-grandkids to be able to “know” me years from now.
Wow! The last two lines I believe should be my mom motto! I love this post. I strive to be a “genuine” person and mom. Thank you for this! It was a great (in)couragement.
Awesome, wonderful, nice, timely post…..I will remember this. Especially since I JUST had a birthday and the only photo that was taken of me shows me on the side and daughter #2 playing to the camera …AGAIN…its very hard to get a “nice” photo around here some times. 😉
Angela,
Thank you so much. Your post was timely. I was just pondering this very thing the other day. I used to be such a camera ham when I was younger. As I’ve gotten older (I’m 42) I don’t like my picture taken as much because quite honestly I’m not feeling all that great about my looks anymore. You reminded me that it’s okay not to look perfect all the time because true beauty is not about perfection–it’s really about love.
Super, Angela! It really IS very freeing and empowering for your children. And going the other way – trying to always present a perfect you – would be completely exhausting.
Love this post.
I needed to read this! I’m always behind the camera, or when in front bemoaning how it came out. That’s how my mother is and I wish I had more photos of her! They will remember my flaws no matter how good my photos look, so more photos there will be! Thanks for posting this!
Oh, how I need grace to learn to be less controlling of everything, including my image/how I am perceived!
Our family is in the process right now of going thru old pics and there are plenty of me! My hubby took most of the pics! I need to try to find some of him, lol!
Bernice
Reach out and take a hand
When I read this it made me cry. I love it! It is so true and helps me remember that our children need to see our flaws and to give myself a break as well. Above all it puts the focus where it should be love. 🙂 Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for posting this. I struggle with not wanting my picture taken unless I know I look okay, and I also am usually the one taking the pictures. So there are lots of pictures of my husband with our sons and fewer with me, and that makes me sad. This is giving me the encouragement to change things!
wow! I need to do that! it’ll be hard to not throw away some bad pictures.
Perfect, you have spoken from my heart–maybe just from the heart of all mothers. You have given me encouragement this morning, thank you.
Cha Cha
Perfect. Thank you for this.
Love this post. You make such a great statement and I hope to follow this and have my children see and remember me.
I have also been trying to be more open to having pictures of me taken in all situations. One of my favorite ones is when we were on vacation and I was still in my PJs – the joy on my face really captures that time. It’s all about being real and being who God created us to be. Thanks for writing this and sharing the pictures.