My mom used to dance in the mornings.

A happy, shameless jig in her PJs right there out in the driveway as my dad drove us off to school. She’d dance and wave and grin and I could feel the love well up from my toes to my nose. It spilled out of me – this being someone’s daughter. Loved. Cherished. Celebrated.

She’s been dead now 18 years to the day since I turned 18.

Time passes and with it go the birthdays, anniversaries, new babies, first steps, preschool orientations, international moves, new jobs, hair color changes. And each milestone is a mile more in the road that we don’t walk together.

I am the motherless daughter.

If you are too, can I take your hand?

Can I stroke the hair back from your forehead and just be here with you? Can I whisper, “I know” and let you cry if you need to? Can I just sit a while beside you as you shout the hard questions?

I believe God can take it.

I believe He invites it.

…the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. Romans 8:26.

Go ahead and groan child. Let the part of you that never got to grow up with a mom weep if she needs to. You are beautiful and loved and not a single tear falls to the ground uncherished by the Father God who holds us both.

You keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.
~Psalm 56:8

You are your mother’s daughter, created in your Father God’s image. And nothing can break that.

So let us celebrate quiet together. Whisper into the comments what you miss, what you loved, what makes you your mother’s daughter. And today I will stop, remember, and rejoice with you, my beautiful friend!

Happy mother’s day.

By Lisa-Jo, who loves serving (in)courage as the community manager of this beautiful place.
Photo Credit: Natalie Webb

{Related Posts}

The Letter No Daughter Wants to Write
Eighteen Years and Half My Life
My Zululand, My Birthday
How to Not Splinter Your Daughter’s Heart

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  • http://thechuppies.blogspot.com/ Kara at The Chuppies

    I read the link…your previous post.
    Selah.
    My husband just came in to check on me…hearing the tears.
    My hurt aches for your tears…
    And the name resurfaces mine.
    Thankful for God who holds hearting hearts so close…

  • sylvia weitzel

    Please consider yourself hugged from one mom to another.

    • Anonymous

      My mom has been gone for 6 years now I cry often cause I miss her do much she was my best friend I love her so much that was my rock

  • Beth Werner Lee

    Thank you for taking my hand, my tears. I still want my momma, to tell me what I’m doing wrong, how to do right, mothering my daughter. She was so often right I could trust her. Regret the times I didn’t. She was steps ahead and made everything fun. She loved me tenderly, showed me when she was dying that she was proud of me and trusted me. So there is so much to thank God for too, and honestly, I had her for 40 years, not 18. But I’m going to pass this post on to my neighbor who lost her mom at 12. Thank you for writing it.

  • http://www.sixbrickshigh.com Jamie @ Six Bricks High

    Lisa-Jo,
    I can so relate to this. Except it was my dad, not my mom, that died when I just 17. I hate the fact that I have lived more of my life without him than I did with him. My heart aches when I look at my kids and I think about what a great grandpa he would have been.

    Happy Mother’s Day sweet friend!

    • http://yellowrose4.blogspot.com/ Janie

      I am with you. I lost my Dad 2½ years ago and my heart aches when I look at my little boy, who will be four soon. He will never remember his Granddad who would have played with him and been so proud of him. Still grieving.

      Mom is still with us tho’ so we celebrate her and all moms this week!

  • Katie

    Thanks for sharing this. My mom died when I was 18, too, and I miss her. I miss her silly, off key singing waking us up and her heart to volunteer wherever we needed her. I wish I could just call her up to talk about the kids. They’re really missing out not knowing her!

  • Lisa H

    Lisa-Jo,
    I didn’t lose my mother to death but I sometimes wish I had because maybe that would be easier to cope with. My mother chose not to be involved in my life when I was 31 yrs old. But growing up she was not engaged in my life even though physically she was there and she provided what we needed ie. food/clothing/shelter. But what I needed most was her love and her time which never happened. There are so many things I could put here that I miss but there isn’t even enough space so I am focusing on the good in my life right now!

    God is so good because my best friend/counselor/minister from church has been talking to me this week already on how to face Mother’s Day this year. You see, last year I was in counseling most of the year to face the demons in my mind over my childhood and mother. I let it all go and gave it to God and so of course this year Satan has had a field day with my heart at various holiday occassions. I’m not letting him win this one! Whe suggested something for me to write out to pray to God and read each day as many times per day as needed. One statement was telling God how thankful I am for the women he has placed in my life to love me unconditionally and who let me know that I do matter. So even though I am a mother now and I will celebrate Mother’s day with my children and be thankful for them, I am celebrating “I am thankful for you” Day and writing each of these women a note explaining to them exactly why I am thankful they are a part of my life!

  • Jill

    Thank you for this beautiful post. I miss my Mom so much too! She died when I was 40 and I have now lived without her for 5 years. She became critically ill when I was 17 and spend much of that year in hospitals and being bed bound. Praise God, After 2 transplant surgeries she recovered and lived fully for the next 20 years, her last 3 on this earth were a struggle until at last God called her home. Selfish me, most days wished He hadn’t but on my stronger days I smile thinking of her not being ill and in pain and waiting to see me again. I wait to see her. Thank you God that you gave me to her, she was a wonderful Mom, not perfect but wonderful anyway. I am alot like her in the not perfect catagory. I hope my sons will some day say I was a good Mom to them, not perfect but good. That way your legacy will live on.

  • beth moore

    Lisa-Jo,

    Thank you for your post. I too miss my Mama – wanting to call her when I see a craft project she would enjoy, when I find a funky little cafe where we could stop for lunch in the midst of a shopping day, when I’m needing godly wisdom as a pastor’s wife – as a mom,

    And, at the same time, I’m so very thankful for the women God has brought into my life. For how He chooses to intertwine our lives with others who are walking the same journey, even ones we have never met. Thank you for being one of those women as the community manager of (In)courage – with it’s daily wisdom, encouragement & chuckles. It means the world to so many.

    Know that I will be praying for each of you this weekend.

  • Chris

    I lost my mom when I was 23, two days before my wedding. She had such a fun sense of humor and was so laid back! I often find myself telling my children stories about the grandma they never got to meet – they would have loved her. And she would have loved and enjoyed them right back. With a smile on my face, I still think of her often. I’m grateful to have been her daughter.

    • Christine

      Thank you so much for this post. It seems those with mothers don’t seem to understand or give much thought as to what life is like for those of us without on many, many-a-day. Aside from Christmas, which will never ever be as festive or celebratory or wondrous feelings of sheer happiness without my mom, it’s the little every day things that I have missed terribly for the past 20 years, when Jesus called her home long before any of us were ready, when she was 55 and I was 24.

      There have been so many times I longed to have her back, just to kick back and hang together like we used to, or when my baby was days and months old so the clueless one (moi) would have had somewhere to turn when the cries wouldn’t stop. What I would have done to have my mom to just wrap her arms around me when my first marriage ended, someone to listen to me when I explained why I just couldn’t wear the frozen smile of fake happiness any longer when I had been crying myself to sleep every night for years on end. Oh how I wish she had been there to remind me that I was living a life of sin and to tell me to turn my life back over to the Lord and all would be well during those single mom years when I was so self-absorbed with what was best for ME.

      Mostly, I wish she had been there so I could see her face when I introduced her to MY Man, the one that God created just for me to love me and take care of me forever. The one that she knew was out there for me, all those times she told me not to settle back when I was too young to know any better. I wish she had been there when we got married so we could have all been in the picture together, not just the photo of her forever reminding me that she was not there. I wish more than anything my 14 year old daughter could go on a special summer vacation with her every year because she would learn so much and they would love each other beyond imagination!! Oh, and how wonderful it would be to just call her up and see if she wanted to go to the mall with me and I’d pick her up in 20 minutes.

      Many times, I’ve wondered how my life would have been different had God allowed me more time with her. But then I remember, most importantly, I am the woman I am because of the time he allowed me to be with her. And even though she is with the Lord and has been welcoming loved ones to heaven for many years, her words which have laid dormant in this sometimes over-busy brain have still echoed in my ears at just the right moments that she probably would have said them to me again if she were still here.

      I am the woman I am today because of her influence on my life. The influence that brought me back to the Lord, that wouldn’t stop until I set my life back on the path God intended for me, the special love that has made me remember how much God loves ME, and the same love I get to share with my daughter. And hopefully, my daughter will have a mother for many, many years to come! But even if she ends up a daughter without a mother too early, she will know how much I loved her and how much God loves her forever!!

  • BIB

    Thank you………Happy Mother’s day to all!!
    Mine has been gone 6 years now …. the missing her continues…

  • http://www.christdrivenmom.blogspot.com Margie

    God decided to bring my mom Home when I was 16 months old of breast cancer, I don’t know how I miss someone so much that I don’t remember. Mother’s Day has always been kind of hard, but once I decided that I would bring glory to His decision (I walked in the 3 day Breast cancer walk), it made it easier, the journey of training and Him speaking to me brought so much healing.

    Celebrate your mom’s life, and yours!

    • http://onthesunnysideatthevillavillekulla.blogspot.com/ amy marie

      i so appreciate your post! i have written in yellow window crayon (my fav color) “bring glory to His decisions” – margie on the window i see most, the window over my kitchen sink. this will be a wonderful reminder to me for every time i am struggeling with something, not to just look for Him in it, but to look to “bring glory to His decicion” for it in my life. thank you for your post. i’ll be praying for you this weekend, and every time i see you quoted on my kitchen window. :) love in Christ ~ amy marie

      • http://thechuppies.blogspot.com/ Kara at The Chuppies

        I love this…what a beautiful way to remember…
        “bring glory to His decisions…”

  • Beth Williams

    My mom has been dead only 2 years, but literally gone for about 4-5 years with dementia and sundowners.

    I miss playing cards with her and dad and going shopping. That hasn’t happened in a very long time.

    Thanks for the hugs!! I pray for all of us mohterless daughters on mother’s day!

  • http://kendalprivette.blogspot.com kendal

    oh. i groan for you and for all the motherless daughters. i have been blessed. my 75-year-old mom was very very sik last week. and i was scared. for you and others who have lost, i ache.

    • http://kendalprivette.blogspot.com kendal

      *sick*

  • http://onthesunnysideatthevillavillekulla.blogspot.com/ amy marie

    i was 16 when my mom was wecomed into the arms of Jesus, 16 years ago. the things i miss the most about her are the ways we spent our time together closer to her Home-going.
    sitting side by side on the sofa, turning pages of her favorite magazines for her.
    folding towels for her and her telling me that it didn’t really matter how they got folded after all.
    watching her lay on the sofa listening to her brother preaching through head phones, knowing only months ago she would scoff at me for riding to church with neighbors.
    the found memories do not out way the uncomfortable ones, but the impact of seeing her changed by Grace months before her death stays with me and i am forever thankful she and i have the same Heavenly Father.
    thank you for this post :)

  • Nicole

    It’s been since I was 14, and this year with my first born has been one of the hardest to not have her. My favorite photos of us are from when I was very young, and spending sweet moments with my own daughter make me wonder how in the world my mom could come to take her own life and leave her children. Some years Mother’s Day passes without me giving it much thought, but for whatever the reason, this year the mention of Mother’s Day makes me cry at the drop of a hat.

    • Laura

      hugs to you Nicole. my mother took her life when I was 3 – I understand your pain. I understand your unanswered questions.

      • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

        Oh sweet sisters, praying your Father God holds tight to your hand this weekend and showers you with his love. You are always held and never abandoned by him.

    • Mary

      Nicole, I, too lost my mother when I was 14…in 1965. I just turned 61 a few weeks ago, and even after 46 years (and the birth of my own child, making me a mother, too), the grief is fresh and Mothers Day still breaks my heart. Every post here has something in it that speaks to me (even those of you whose moms took their own lives, because my first husband also ended his own life in 2002). My singular hope all my life was that I would become a complete woman, since my own mother (and guide) left me at such a pivotal time to find that path without an earthly guide. I never would have made it without my faith, not just in Christ but in the fact that I know my mother is with Him now and, by extension, within me for eternity.

  • http://digtoesin.wordpress.com Val

    I lost my Mom when I was 24. My first-born (named after her) was 4 months old. It’s been six years, two more babies, and a whole lot of life in between it all since I’ve seen her last.

    This week–even outside of the Hallmark Holidayness–I’ve just wanted to go home to her and be taken care of. I feel beaten up and I want my Mom to reach in and help with the baby and wrap me up in blankets and hugs and give me a chance to rest a while.

    Every day I miss her laugh, her no-nonsense wisdom, her advice, even her criticism.

    I wish I could have watched her delight in her grand-daughters. And I wish she could know the woman I’ve become.

    Thank you for this post and for the place to cry and not be alone.

    • http://www.walkinginhighcotton.net Jamie (@va_grown)

      I feel so many of the same words this week and so often in general…thoughts and prayers…

  • http://starlightwriter.wordpress.com Diana @ Starlight Writer

    Oh, thank you for this post, Lisa-Jo. {Tears} I’m a motherless daughter, too, for 18 years now. I lost my mom when I was 17, a senior in high school. Last Mother’s Day I wrote about what I miss most about my mom. Here’s the link:

    http://starlightwriter.wordpress.com/2010/05/10/in-memory-of-mama/

    I am praying for you all this weekend. May God comfort you and give you the peace that passes understanding.

    Diana

  • http://www.cyndispivey.com Cyndi Spivey

    Thank you Lisa-Jo! I lost my Mom two years ago and I was 42. She was an amazing godly woman and I miss her desperately. So thankful God does know and hear our pain.
    Blessings,
    Cyndi

  • http://www.lifeastwo.blogspot.com Thelma

    I miss her voice. Not only the sound of it, but the wisdom, her take on life, the very expression of who she was, how she loved God and us.

    I was fifteen when she died. Thank you for this post.

    • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

      Yes, that.

      Me too.

  • Laura

    My Mother died when I was 3 – I do not remember her and yet, a part of her has been with me through my whole life. I am now 55 years old and still today, I miss her…I miss what I never had. I imagine what she must have been like, I try to imagine what having her in my life might look like. Anyone who has lost a Mother way too soon, knows of what I speak. I never knew her and yet her passing left a big hole in my heart. That hole that is large and weepy on many occassions throught the year…yet never more so than on Mother’s Day. One day….I will meet her again in Heaven.

  • http://shellywildman.net Shelly W.

    This is such a touching post, Lisa-Jo. It has made me realize that, although my mother is living and healthy, I have taken her for granted. I haven’t been the daughter that I should be, probably because my mom lives thousands of miles away from me and I’ve resented that. She truly is a gift–a wonderful woman and mother. I’ll call her today and let her know.

  • http://penniesandblessings.com Mandy

    What a precious and needed post, Lisa-Jo! I am so blessed to still have my mother, my best friend, with me, though we are hours and miles apart! But my heart breaks for those of you who are separated from your mothers by more than just miles! I truly cannot imagine the hole left by such a loss! Sending prayers and hugs out to each one of you this weekend!! xoxo

  • http://myhomesweethomeonline.net Dawn Camp

    I started crying before I got past the title. My mother passed away 7 years ago, on my birthday. I had her longer than you, she saw all but one of my babies, but it’s just never easy. Sharing the long-distance hugs here.

    • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

      Oh Dawn – yes, hugging you right back!

  • http://www.anakedfaith.com Sarah Sumpolec

    Oh my heart hears the loss contained in the post and comments here. May the Lord bring spiritual moms to you all to bless and care for your hearts…

    I have always been motherless, even though my mother is alive and well. It’s a different kind of pain to bear.

  • http://www.heavenlyglimpses.blogspot.com Theresa @ Heavenly Glimpses

    My mother is still here and…well, it makes me realize all the more how much I need to cherish her – now.

  • http://pkshouse.wordpress.com patty

    Lisa Jo,

    I am not a motherless daughter in the sense that others would think….my mom is still alive, yet has been consumed with depression for the past 5 years. my dad (only 62) has been in a nursing home for 4 years now due to early onset alzheimers disease. after losing my dad to this awful disease (he no longer knows us nor can he communicate in any way).
    my mom sleeps many hours a day and has no joy in her life. calling the doctor to ask for a new antidepressant is even too much for her to think about.
    i miss my mom, the way she used to be. i miss the giggles we used to share and the crafts we would do. i miss her joyful spirit and i miss watching her care for and serve my dad as she did faithfully for so many years.
    i never dreamed that i’d lose my mom when i lost my dad……
    so thankful that sorrow is but for a night and joy comes in the morning…..
    ~patty

  • Kerry D.

    I miss my mom. sewing together and cooking, whipping up a quick gravy or meal out of nothing… I was blessed to have her in my life til my 30’s, but still… even when she was unwell, on a bad day, I could just snuggle up next to her and feel “all better.”

    Thank you for this post, and for “sitting with me” since that’s what I miss most.

    And for those of you whose mothers were not able to care for you, I send extra hugs and love…

  • http:/anmouse.wordpress.com Michelle

    My mom died just last Friday. Totally unexpected. So I am a motherless mom for the first time in my life.
    The shock is here still; it hasn’t fully registered, even though the funeral was two days ago. I am in pain over losing her, but rejoicing that she finally — finally — has met her mom and been able to talk with her, since Grandmother died when my mom was only 4. And my mom’s sister, my favorite aunt, died just ten days before my mom.
    They are all together again, the Allen girls and their mom. How can I not be happy over that, since I know my aunt and my mom missed their mom and ached over losing her, their entire lives?
    Happy Mother’s Day to you all; Happy Mother’s Day to my Grandmother, my aunt, and my mom. I know they are enjoying themselves immensely.

    • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

      Oh Michelle! Here I am with fresh tears reading this entry. Wrapping you in a long distance hug and jumping up and down with the happiness you painted of your own mother re-united with her mom. Thank God He gives us an eternity to reconnect.

      Blessings and peace and unexpected joy are my prayers for you this weekend!

    • Cyndi Ruppe

      I feel your pain. I am in tears too as I read this becaue for the first 6 months after my Mom passed away I was the one comforting everyone. I knew my Mom was with her Mom who passed away when she was 17. It was December 22, 2009 when my mom went to heaven. aS much as we wanted her there for Christmas I thought what a wonderful time for her it must have been. She was spending Christmas with Papa God and her Mother! Grieving takes many different ways in everyone. I am happy that you are choosing to look on the positive side. I am here if you ever want to email me or chat. I am on facebook. I feel a deep connection to you already. Please look me up. I will have you and your family in my prayers!

  • http://www.hephzibah7.blogspot.com Caitlin

    Thank you. This was so beautiful. My mom walked out of my life when I was two, and it wasn’t until this year that God started showing me the deep woundedness in my heart that has sprung from it. He’s teaching me to let myself be mothered by His body and His Son. It’s a beautiful thing. Isaiah 66:12-13

  • Naomi

    Your post struck a place deep inside me,
    thankyou for writing it.
    I lost my mother at 14, I have lived longer without her than with her and yet the hole is so big and the groaning pain so close to the surface.
    I miss her more now I am a mother and understand the delight I have for my children.
    I miss someone delighting in me.
    I miss the unconditional love.
    I cry for how hard the leaving must have been for her.
    Thankyou for understanding.
    Thankyou for the reminder that Our Father God collects our tears and gives me the grace and unconditional love that I crave.
    I am far away in Australia but I take the hands of my sisters, all of you motherless daughters with the same ache, as we face the bittersweetness of Mothers Day.

    • Kat

      Naomi,

      Your post echoed most of my own thoughts.

      My mother’s middle name is Naomi.

      Bless you, your children, and your Mom.

  • Tiffany

    Thank you so much for this post. It expresses MY heart. I lost my Mom on Valentines Day when I was 13. I miss her through every milestone…the times when you just need your Mamas smile, her comforting touch, her nodding affirmation, and her kind words cheering you on. I am a Mama now to four beautiful miracles, and I miss her being Grandma. I am also a Pasrors Wife and know that losing her is what helped me to find God. I would be a different person enrirely without the experiences I have gone through.

  • http://bountifulmom.com Lori

    A word in due season. This May 15 marks the 2 year anniversary of my mother’s death, and I’ve really been feeling it this year. Thank you for this – just what I needed!

  • http://janudlock.com/ Jan Udlock

    Lisa-Jo,
    What a necessary post to share. I couldn’t get through three comments before the tears started drifting down my cheek.

    Mommy hugs to you and all these lovely ladies,
    j

  • Cyndi Ruppe

    I lost my Mother 15 monthes ago. She was only 48 and I was 25. It was unexpected but I know she is in a better place now.

    I can not express what I feel being a mOtherless daughter on mothers day or any other day of the year. I miss her so much! She was always willing to help someone even when she was in need herself. I love her so much I sometimes feel like I can’t live without her. Then I remember her words “I want you to have a better life than I did.” She told me that many times. I want to be able to write a better answer to this post but as the tears roll down my cheeks my vision is blurred and I just can’t do it. God bless and be with each of us as we go through this Mother’s day without our mOm’s here with us.

  • Vonnie

    Thank you for this post Lisa-Jo. My mother passed away when I was 38. I miss our daily talks, her being able to watch her grandchildren grow up. She is not here to see her great grandchildren, my first granchildren, be born this year. My daughter mourns her loss as well…she graduates college tomorrow. Momma would have been so proud.
    We talked everyday. She died of cancer and some of my most treasured memories are of the last days. She told me how much she was going to miss me.

    I have the blessed assurance of knowing that we WILL meet again. In the meantime, my tears will fall and I will praise God for the oppurtunity to have known my mother as my friend. To Him be the glory,

  • http://n/a Kat

    I was 15 when my Mom passed away, and before she died, she’d been sick over a year from colon cancer. I took care of her through chemotherapy, colostomy, and all the other associated illnesses that come with being radically treated for a disease that’s ravaging.

    Since I can remember, I’d been physically and emotionally abused as a child. I think she was lonely, and struggling with 2 kids on her own(I have a younger brother), worrying about the shenanigans of my 2 older sisters, and not knowing where food or money to pay the electric was going to come from, took it toll on her. I was taken from the home and went to live in a foster home when I was 13, for 6 months. When I went home, my Mom worked hard on becoming a changed person, but she got sick, and I think that’s what it finally took for her to realize that she had another daughter who wasn’t at fault for any of the bad times in her life. She began paying attention to me and my school work, asking about my day, we’d do things together, and for the first time in as long as I can remember, the year I was 14, we FINALLY celebrated Christmas, and my bday being 4 days later, we celebrated my 15th birthday too, and my brother’s bday, who was born on Jan 3rd. She died on the 24th of January, 1987, while I held her hand, and told her that I forgave her for all the years of abuse. Tears came out of her eyes, and I think she was truly sorry, but she couldn’t talk in those last few moments, as she was under morphine sedation for pain, so I will have to wait until I see her again to know for sure.

    I miss that she never knew my kids, and struggle with envy that she knew most off my sisters’ kids. I miss the life of a *real* mother and daughter relationship we never got to have. I miss that I never had a loving mother for most of the life I had one, and I mourn not only losing my mother, but the idea that I’ve lived way longer without a mother than with one, and I’ve spent all my adult life struggling through it with no mother to call and ask for help, guidance, advice, or just to run to when I needed a Mom, ya know?

    Mother’s Day is a love/hate thing for me, because I have 3 children of my own that I cherish immensely, but it’s also a day I mourn everything I will never have.

    Sorry this is so long.

    • momof2

      My heart goes out to you.

      Thank you, Lisa-Jo, for this post to help those who’ve lost their beautiful moms to mourn and those of us who’ve mourned all our lives, not having moms, as well.

      My heart goes out to you who have lost your mothers. I wish I could embrace you. I’m so sorry for your pain and longing.
      Myself, I lost my mom, more figuratively, in that my mom was (and is) ill and I was mistreated mentally and verbally by her all my life. While this may seem like an inappropriate post here, and one of complaint, it is actually that I have missed my mom every day of my life, practically speaking.
      There were very few glimmers and glimpses of joy and I miss those. Miss her laughing, carefree. I miss a gentle touch from her. And most of all, right now I remember Valentine’s Day. For some reason, things were always ‘normal’ on Valentine’s Day and she would always get us sweet gifts.
      I miss the few times she was supportive when I asked for advice, and I miss when her hugs (the one or two I remember) were genuine and warm.

      I miss not having a friend, most of all. To ask for a recipe, to ask for advice when the kids are really sick, to help with the babies, to help clean when I’m recovering from c-sections, to give a word of encouragement on marriage and relationships, to just be encouraging at all.
      To be honest, I don’t really know what that’s like.
      I’m blessed in being mother now and, with God’s comfort, strength and encouragement, find it a blessing to be a warm and consistent mother to my boys.

      Sending love, peace and prayers to everyone’s fractured heart.

  • Lesley

    My mom died when I was 15 ; I’m 55 now and the wound is still fresh. I miss her each and every day. I wish I had more happy memories to hold onto such as yours of your Mom dancing in your driveway. Thank you for sharing yours with us.

  • Kat

    I also want to say I’m sorry for being selfish, and not saying that I’m so very sorry to all of you who lost your mothers as well. To those of you who never knew your mothers, whose mothers just aren’t there(which as a mother myself, my daughter is in the Army and stationed on the opposite coast from me, and I miss her like crazy–I can’t understand that!!), I am truly sorry for you.

    I’m sending out a hug and a wish to each one of you that you know comfort and joy in your own mothering, and in the knowing that father in Heaven surrounds you with his love.

  • Cyndi Ruppe

    I am the motherless daughter.

    If you are too, can I take your hand?

    Can I stroke the hair back from your forehead and just be here with you? Can I whisper, “I know” and let you cry if you need to? Can I just sit a while beside you as you shout the hard questions?

    These are words I long to hear when I am missing my Mom more than ever. Thank you for putting it it words so I can repeat it and just give it to Papa God!

  • http://www.MariMayborn.com Mari Mayborn

    Lisa-Jo, Thanks for this post. I lost my mom when I was 17. I was caught up in the turmoil of teenage angst and rebellion. I wish I could have been more sensitive to her needs and am thankful for mom’s friends and my older sisters who comforted her and were so kind to her. She loved me and appreciated my animated personality. I wish she could see the woman I am today and know my husband and daughter. She would be thrilled and deeply grateful that God does do miracles.

  • Sue

    My Mom passed away in 2010, on May 19th two days after her 87th birthday Mary 17th. Then of course there’s also Mother’s Day. This is my first May without Mom, so it’s very difficult for me with so many days in May that remind me of Mom. My Mom was the only person on earth that loved me unconditionally, a blessing from God, no doubt. I am struggling with my spiritual life, because of the suffering my Mom went through the last two years of her life. But I am working on it.

  • Celeste

    It’s been 16 months since my mom died. A few days ago I realized that I’m finally coming to terms with her loss… on why she had to go… and I’m starting a new life. But now here I am, missing her again, wishing she was here so I can talk to her about my day and what’s going on with my life.

    Thank you for sharing… god bless.

  • Heather

    Thank you Lisa-Jo. My mom passed away 29 years ago when I was just 10 years old. I miss her every day and there are so many things that have happened that I really wish I had her here for. Especially the day I got married 11 years ago. Her presence was never more missed than on that day.

  • Anna

    I have a wonderful Mom! Mom and Dad live in another state. But my next door neighbor of 4 years is a daughterless mother. Her only child was killed by a drink driver when she wad 18, so when my family moved in she embraced us as a glimpse of what her daughters life may have been.. My kids call her “mimi” and she has been a 2nd Mom to me. Mothers day is super hard for her since her daughter died In May. I praise God he brought us next door to her. I also pray for those who are Mothers who lost their children. We rise and call you blessed blessed.

  • kathy c.

    I always kind of dread mother’s day. I don’t have my mother anymore. I used to love to send her flowery cards and a potted plant or take her out to her favorite restaurant for mother’s day. She always gave me gifts too, of a spring like scent, or candy or earrings, necklace. Not expensive stuff but just intimate things, she knew I would like. Only a mother’s heart can do that. How else would anyone one know, I liked dark chocolate or lillies of the valley? That I liked blue as my favorite color or siamese cats? Mom knew. I couldn’t hide my sadness from her, she always knew. I didn’t always show my love for her, but she always knew..somehow..she did…she amazed me. And still does. How did I deserve such love that endures even beyond death. I don’t know. all I know is that she was my MOM, and I loved her. Miss you Mom, rest in heaven awhile, and we’ll see you again soon. Love ya…

  • Willie from Maine

    I, too, am a motherless daughter. My Mom died in October just before her 91st birthday. I’d just turned 60 in September that year. We had spoken on the phone almost nightly since I had been in college. She was my friend, my confidante, healer of hurts and fixer of problems (although she had this way of letting me think I’d fixed it myself!) I miss her still, and often when I’m driving, we still talk ~ I share what’s going on, she listens and God hears and helps. A very special person was my Mom.

    I am the motherless daughter.
    If you are too, can I take your hand?
    Can I stroke the hair back from your forehead and just be here with you? Can I whisper, “I know” and let you cry if you need to? Can I just sit a while beside you as you shout the hard questions?
    Yes these are the words to hear especially when I’m missing my Mom more than ever.
    Thank you for putting it it words so I can repeat it and just give it to my Father in Heaven…I know He hears and time heals through Him.

    • Jan

      Willie, Thanks for that touching post, you really understand..I am 58 and feel the same.
      All holidays are lonely, but Mothers Day is tough..

  • http://www.thepueblaponderosa.blogspot.com Adoption Mama

    This will be my second mother’s day without my mom…Oh, how I miss her, the phone calls, the hugs, the council. But our God is a great God who takes care of her and holds her tight…me too.

  • http://www.tothinkistocreate.com Airs

    Oh tears.

    As a daughterless mother….I hug you deeply. Pet your hair and ask you to let me float through this hard day, too. I miss her. You miss her. We long.

    <3

    • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

      Ari, yes. The ache and the empty journey goes both ways, doesn’t it. I love you my friend. Zoe sends baby kisses.

  • Jen

    Thank you for this post. My mother is not deceased, but she was not there when I was growing up and I was raised by my grandmothers. Mother’s Day has always been very hard for me. You post has encouraged me.

  • Linda

    Mother’s Day has been hard for me sinced 1980, when God called my mother home . As a 67 yr old, it is Still hard to not have her here……….there is So Much I want to tell her and she would love her granchildren so………….. I sobbed through your message and will pray for you as you go through this weekend. Thank you for sharing with us…….it was special. Bless you………..

  • Claire

    I lost my Mother to breast cancer on April 21, 1995. I got married without her, had my daughter without her, got divorced without her and have missed her every single day since. BUT, she is always with me. Every big moment in my daughters life – all the “firsts” and all the dark days too. My mother is in me and through me she is in my daughter as well. I still cry out loud at times because the pain of wanting her here and just needing her ear is too great but ultimately I know she is with us and that I will see her again someday. Here’s to all of you motherless daughters! Happy Mothers Day!!

  • http://bohemianbowmans.com/ Jessica

    I am sort of a motherless daughter, though my mother lives. But unfortunately, I’m not able to have a relationship with her and she never danced for me in the driveway. :)

    Thank God for good Mother in Law’s.

    • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

      Amen and amen! Mine is five star fabulous and one of the best gifts I ever got from my husband :)

  • amy lopez

    As a daughter that has a mom still on earth and has not been unconditionally loved or supported by her I truely thank you for your beautiful comforting words.

  • http://www.walkinginhighcotton.net Jamie (@va_grown)

    Thank you for sharing. And for bringing us together. I wrote about this yesterday too.

    I miss someone who cared about the “nothing important” in my life. Someone who actually wanted to hear about my day even if my day had been like any other day.

  • Pingback: When Mother’s Day Is Hard()

  • http://lindaspatchworkquilt.blogspot.com/ Linda

    I, who at 64 am still blessed with such abundant love to still have my Mom in my life, sit with tears and long to reach out and hold you in a warm embrace Lisa-Jo. Your precious heart reaches out to others and this Mom reaches back to send you much love.
    Happy Mother’s Day.

    • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

      Sweet Linda, thank you! I feel it :)

  • http://omega58.wordpress.com Linda @ prone to wander

    I still I miss her… when I look into my girls’ eyes, when I am enjoying family times, when I reach to call her decades later. How she would have loved them! She would have always been ready to take the shoe lover shopping. I often tell Love Princess that! Amazing as the love gals are adopted. Hanging out in the yeard digging and planting.. Love Bug would have been a great compainon. Every morning when I came down, she was at the table reading the Word. Her wisdom, her love. She left all us girls (and guys too) a great legacy.

  • Kimberlie

    Mother’s Day is always hard for me. I miss the mom I wish mine had been. I miss the mom my step mother was, and the wonderful mom and Grandma my Grandma was. Having spent most of my childhood feeling like a mistake, my mother’s term when she was angry, I wish I had had more time with my Step Mother, whom I met later in life, after my father passed away. I learned from my mom the type of mother NOT to be, from my step Momma, and Grandma the type of mom who loves unconditionally. And that a child doesn’t have to be your biological child to be YOUR CHILD.( I adopted my little girl, and truly can’t imagine how I could love her more if I had given birth to her.) I lost my sister, who was also my best friend to cancer this past Nov. She was the link to my Dad’s other kid’s and our extended family. Now that she has gone on to Glory, I’ve lost her and the rest of the family too. I have some amazing women of God in my life. Our Pastor’s wife, a special friend from church, they both strive to show me the care of a Mom, even though they aren’t old enough to be my mom. But at times, like Mother’s Day, I still mourn for what might have been. On the other hand, I CELEBRATE EVERYDAY that I am the mother of my daughter. What an awesome GIFT God gave me in her. She has many Special Needs, and through this journey with her I have found what is really important. I hope you all have a VERY HAPPY Mother’s Day FILLED with the important things.

  • jerseygal

    My heart goes out to you! I lost my mother when I was 40-1/2. When I’m sad or start feeling heaviness in my heart, I spray her perfume in the air and walk through it. Just the scent is enough to calm those feelings down! I am sad and mad at the same time that she chose not to value her worth to her family by throwing the medicine away that could have ultimately helped her live a longer life despite her cancer, madder that she didn’t think she could beat the disease, and sadder more that she didn’t get to see the truly amazing adults my children grew up to be and all the beautiful great-grandchildren she would have had!

    Her memory lives in my heart, but I really wish she was still here, wish I could make up for the all the times that I wasn’t the best daughter I could have been, but more importantly wish I could just give her a hug and say I love you one more time!

    So, Happy Mother’s Day in heaven Mom. Miss you and love you!

  • http://whisperswhispering.blogspot.com Debbie

    Just the post I needed to read for this upcoming Mother’s Day. I miss my mother so much, she was my best friend.

    I not only needed to read this for myself, but also for my granddaughter who we are raising. While her mom is still here on earth, she just chooses to not be a part of her daughter’s life. I already know that this year will be difficult since now her mother has another child, to whom she has kept. Selena at times reflects upon this and wonders why she isn’t with her mom as well.

    Thank you for the wonderful post and reminder that God is in control.

    • momof2

      Praying for you and Selena..

  • http://nikkit3.blogspot.com Nikki

    I was 25-years-old when I said “good-bye” to my Momma. This will be my 8th Motherless Mother’s Day. I miss her smile and her laugh. I miss cooking and shopping with her.

    A precious friend of mine sent me an email on my first Mother’s Day without my mom. She encouraged me to share one fun memory of her with my young children. I try to do that every year, and it brings tears to my eyes, but also a smile to my face.

    (((((hugs))))) to you all, my sweet sisters. I am lifting you all up in prayer this weekend.

    • Kimberlie

      hugs to you too Nikki; I hope you can not only share a fun memory of your mom with your little ones, but also make as new one of your own with them. Sometimes that helps a little. Have an enjoyable day.

  • Sandra

    This is my first year without my beloved Momma! She went Home to Glory on January 16,2011. Not sure how i’m going to make it through this first Mother’s Day without her. I know she’s not sick anymore but I miss her like crazy. I know this day will come and go and this is the first of many holidays without my sweet Momma and best friend. Our lives go on and we each deal with our own amount of grief and loss. Momma is spending her first Mother’s Day with her Creator. What a glorious time she is having…..not so much of a glorious time for those of us left behind. Oh, how my heart aches and I miss her so! I wait for that sweet reunion day.

  • Terry

    Thank you so much for your post. My mother is still here but I have a neice who lost her mother at age 10 three years ago. She was my sister & died of lung cancer at age 49 (non-smoker). She was such a great person & enjoyed life to its fullest. I try my best to convey this to my neice everytime we’re together. Thank you again.

  • https://rcspcss8.blogspot.com Reese

    I have been praying for you all, all week, and I will continue thru the week-end.

    Dear God, please come quickly, and fill the void of my sweet sisters hearts. We all stand together on your promises!

    Sweet sister’s you are not alone. xo

    • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

      Reese, you bless us!

  • Lisa Sackett

    I just recently lost my sweet Momma and this Mother’s Day is going to be particularly difficult for me and for my sweet sister. We were so very close to our Momma and she was the most amazing woman. So strong, so sweet, so giving, so amazing to us and to our children. She died fairly unexpectedly so it’s been difficult to grasp living without her and each birthday or special day that passes without her is very painful. A sweet friend shared your post with me today and I am so grateful that she did. Your words are very encouraging to me and I sat her with my eyes closed for a moment and could feel my sweet Momma stroking my hair as she did so often. Thank you for sharing your heart and for touching mine. I pray this is the only Mother’s Day that stings and those to come are sweet reminders that God gave me the most amazing Mother and I was so blessed to have her as mine.

  • Linsay

    Lisa Jo,

    Thank you for your beautiful words. I will take your hand right back and walk with you during this difficult time, it doesn’t matter how many years go by my mom is missed more and more each day. Mother’s day for the motherless is so hard, bitter sweet, being a mother myself, I want to cherish my children and morn my mom all at the same time.

    I miss being able to pick up the phone no matter the time and know that the person at the other end would always have answers to my questions, love me through the pain and support me no matter what.

    Bless you

  • Anonymous

    Thank you for this beautiful post that I might share with loved ones who no longer have their precious Mothers. I am so Blessed to still have mine and a beautiful daughter and 2 wonderful grandchildren all who I love and cherish dearly. May God Bless all the Mothers who so willingly sacrifice for their children who are His gift to them.

  • http://www.crossdrivenhome.com Michelle

    June 2, 2010 – that’s when my Mom died. And if that isn’t something, I lost my dad when I was 11. I now feel orphaned. My precious son dropped one of the only things I had left of her – a plant. He took it and smashed it into the yard, thinking it was great fun. And I didn’t. I cried. No, I sobbed. I felt a lot like that plant….uprooted with no real home. And Mother’s Day slaps my face again and tells me she is gone. Another sorrowful reminder that she isn’t here. If that isn’t too much to deal with, I was the one that found her body lifeless on the floor. And I was the one that my family blamed and still has not talked to for almost a year because she and I were so close. So in a real way, I have no family left – not an earthly mom and dad, sisters and brothers kind of family. I have my husband and my children and that should be enough, but it still feels empty. As if the person I was never existed. As if who I was when she was here is no more. And like the plant, I’m scattered all over not knowing if I will survive some days, but holding on to hope that I do. If she was here, she’d want me to. May 19th was the last day I saw her smiling face….and the world thinks I should be over losing my mom, finding her dead, and being without a family. I don’t know if I can right now…

    • Kat

      Michelle,

      You will *never* be over those things. How awful you had to be the one to find your Mother, and for anyone not to understand the effect that would have on anyone, well, they would be the ones who need help.

      My little prayer for you right now is that you can somehow move on from the horrible day you found your Mother, and that the first memories that come to your mind about your Mother are what you loved most about her. Remember her smiling face, remember not a smashed plant, but the beautiful rose that is your Mother and the love she has for you, and you have for her–every happy thing you can remember of her, not the bad ones. She would want that for you, not to be agonized about her.

      Please, see someone who can help you with these feelings. See a pastor at church, anyone, but don’t try and go it alone. She wouldn’t want that for you, either. I know, because I wouldn’t want any of that for my daughters.

      Big (((hugs)))

  • Steel Butterfly

    Thanks, Lisa Jo. That was a beautiful thing you wrote. I too am a motherless child. My angel passed away 27 years ago and even though it has been so long, reading your post brought tears to my eyes and a bit of pain for my loss. It was immediately replaced by a feeling of joy for many reasons: 1. because you were given the gift of writing and shared with me in a way that touched my soul; 2. because God loved me so much he gave my Mother the gift of faith, unconditional love and compassion which she bestowed on me from the day she adopted me until the day she died; 3. because my Mother had such unshakable faith that she set an amazing example throughout my life.

    I was only 16 years old when she died from cancer. After she passed it was difficult for me to understand why God would take someone so wonderful when there were so many wicked people here on earth. She was the glue of our family and we all came unglued when she was gone. We all floundered around saying, “what are we gonna do without Mom?” Because of her faith, I embarked on a mission to find answers, understand what she was about and how she could be so strong. What was God trying to teach me? How could anyone possibly think this was a time to celebrate?

    Well, true to His word, I sought answers and God revealed them to me over many years. He answered every one of my questions and gave me answers to mysteries I hadn’t even thought about. Suddenly everything made sense and I knew I could be as good as she was. Instead of saying, “what would Mom do?” before I made a move, I changed it to “what would Jesus do?” This was her secret. She had a close personal relationship with Christ and because of her example, I do as well.

    I’d like to share two verses with all of you motherless children in hopes that it may help you to understand and sooth your pain.

    Isaiah 57:1-2 Good people pass away; the godly often die before their time. But no one seems to care or wonder why. No one seems to understand that God is protecting them from the evil to come. For those who follow godly paths will rest in peace when they die.

    Proverbs 31:25 She is clothed with strength and dignity and she laughs without fear of the future.

    I am wishing every woman on earth a Happy Mother’s Day. May you be surrounded with love, peace and joy on this day.

    • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

      Thank you for this beautiful encouragement!

  • Elizabeth

    My mother is still alive, so I can’t even imagine what any of you are going through. I read this and it touched my heart. I’m saying a prayer for each and every one of you today and this Mother’s Day also. I pray you find comfort and joy in all that goes on during your day and that all the blessings from God fall upon each of you.

  • http://www.nicholesfoundhere.blogspot.com Nichole

    I miss her laugh. She had best laugh. It’s been two years and I am 23. I don’t know if I am ever going to learn how to live without her. Thinking about getting married or having babies without her breaks my heart.

  • Margaret Woolford

    Thank you Lisa-Jo for your words of wisdom and your encouragement. I love to read your posts!

    Re-post this if you have a Mom in Heaven!¸¸.•*”Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ”*•.¸¸
    If flowers grow in heaven Lord, then pick a bunch for me ▬▬▬ place them in my Mom’s arms and tell her they’re from me. ▬▬▬ Tell her that I love and miss her, and when she turns to smile, ( ◕‿◕。) ღ ❤ place a kiss upon her cheek and hold her for a while. I love you Mom

    I had the best and sweetest Mum in the world and I just hope my sons will feel even half as good about me! I wish I’d been a better Mum but I know they love me just the same!
    Praise God for all that he has given us!

  • Emily Curtiss

    I miss her! I miss being able to share my children with her. I makes me sad that my oldest two can barely remember her, that my youngest three never got to meet her. She was a wonderful mom, so full of life. Always ready to tackle anything we threw at her. She made everyone feel better by just being there. I remember talking to her every day about anything and everything. Just calling to hear her voice. I only wish she knew how valuable she was to all of us and how much she is missed.

  • http://www.findtheflametofan.blogspot.com Abby

    Lisa-Jo,

    You are a gift. It is 9 years ago this month that my mom went home to Jesus. May has been hard most of these years with Mother’s Day, my birthday, the anniversary of my mom’s passing…In the past couple of years I’ve sensed His wanting me to celebrate not that she left, but that she IS WITH HIM…to let Him show me her JOY…and to let that spring up from the tears of April leading to May and bring JOY flowers…

    I am in a huge transition and this month I pack up my house and sort and clean and my husband travels for half of it and my kids are 3.5 and 1.5 and oh…I always miss, but right now, I miss the daily pep talks she’d give and the moving of heaven and earth to be able to come help me physically. The void is huge and I am thinking of her all the time and so wanting that word, note, encouragement that she would ALWAYS send at just the right time. To remind me I am brave, and that she has seen me find strength in Him to do more than could have ever been imagined in days of fears and He will give me strength again and I will become new…all this she would say and I know He is saying it, but I want it to come with her voice and yes, a hug…

    praying for all of you sisters…we are so very not alone in so many ways…and blessings all about you manifold Lisa-Jo!!!

    • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

      Praying a friend shows up to give you that pep talk, wrassle your kids, help with the packing, and remind you how to laugh at the end of the long and crazy days of moving. hang in there Abby, you can do it! You are a mother – you have a hero suit on under all those kid-trampled clothes :)

  • http://happyheart-nancyljk.blogspot.com/ nancyljk

    Your words touched a tender place in my heart…a place that aches just a little more as mother’s day approaches each year. My mom died 2 months after my wedding, that was 34 years ago. I miss her still. I figured out the “mother thing” on my own as I was blessed with 2 sons. I will become a grandmother this year, still trusting God to help me find my way.
    mother’s day blessings~

  • http://2lovebirdsonthemove.blogspot.com/ Christy

    Thank you for writing this – it was beautifully written and has made me bawl like a baby. My mom died 3 yrs & 5 months ago – 6 months before my wedding. She was my best friend, the person I could go to when I needed godly advise, the person who would just be there to listen. I miss not being able to call her up and ask her how she made a certain recipe, or what herb to use when I have a problem. I hate that I can’t talk to her about my family history and that she will never get to know my unborn children. I miss her more and more each day. In her last letter to me she asked that I try and keep the family together (all 12 siblings) and since her death there has been nothing but drama & hatred between the siblings – so I can’t even do her last request. I hate that she’s gone.

    • http://www.findtheflametofan.blogspot.com Abby

      Dear Christy,

      In the Lord’s guiding hand, without much time, I stopped here and know I must respond.

      I lost my mama before I was engaged (she was in the hospital during my twin sister’s wedding)…we experience the same loss of her not being at our weddings or to know our kids…and the calls I’d make! oh, the calls! I hear you, sister.

      I KNOW she sees you as a wife and (future?) mama and will walk with you in ways you never imagined possible through His goodness…

      and for the family drama–there are 5 in my family and we have done well some times, but I fear we are drifting and may never be together again in this life–I know it would break my mom’s heart, BUT, I know when your mom asked you to keep the family together (what a big one!) she knew you would need God’s help. He’s the only one that can bring healing…I am praying that you sense His peace in this family strife in a special way…and I am praying for you in all things too, sister.

      Abby:)

  • Kathy

    My mother died when I was 34, which was 17 years ago. Oh, how I still miss her so much.

    This year is especially poignant as my son leaves for his 2nd deployment tomorrow (the day before Mother’s Day); and then his birthday is the day AFTER Mother’s Day. My mother sent one of her sons (my brother) off to war in Vietnam; and sometimes, I wish I could just hug her and ask her how she got through it.

    Seriously, without the grace and mercy of our Lord, I really don’t know how I am going to make it through.

    • Kat

      One milltary Mom to another, big ((((hugs))), Kathy. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but please tell your son I said thank you for his service, and thanks to *you* for your service, also.

      My oldest daughter is in the Army, her 1st (and she says last lol) enlistment, and is stationed on the other side of the map from us. :( I miss her terribly, but thank God often that she’s not deployed. I can’t imagine what it would be like to send my child, and I pray I don’t ever have to. I pray that your son stays safe.

  • Tasha

    3 years. I miss her every day, even the stupid little annoying things I never thought I would. I can’t wait to see her again.

  • Carole

    I lost my mom when I was 5. I will turn 40 this year. And still your true words brought tears to my eyes. The missing never goes away. I am raising 4 daughters. Many times I have reminded God that I am ill-equipped for this journey, but He reminds me that His ways are mysterious, higher, and what is best for me. And, of course, He is right.

  • http://www.thezenofmotherhood.blogspot.com Mama Zen

    Beautiful.

  • babz

    we were lucky to have them as long as we did. my moms been dead over 20 years . i still want her advice some days. but she did get to see all of us grow up and meet most of her grandchildren. she was only 4 when her own mother passed over…i wish us all a happy mothers day .

  • http://www.asecretgarden.ca Nancy Peacock

    I’m older (55) but I miss my mom many times every day. She died 2 days before my 50th birthday, and the loss and grief are still a reality, even today. She wasn’t perfect, but she was perfectly mine if you know what I mean. We understood each other and loved each other in spite of our shortcomings. My dad died 2 years after mom and I miss him tons too, but there is something about the mother-daughter bond. I’ll miss her til the day I join her in heaven.

    • Jan

      Nancy, I can relate to your post. I am 58 and my Mother and I saw life differently, bu yet were there for each other. I miss her so much and wish I could call her one more time. It is heart-wrenching some days. Thank you for sharing. My Dad was is not living either. She is in a wonderful place, but my heart aches just the same. Some days I want to talk to her about so many things.. tough.
      You have a Happy Motehrs day from me :)

  • Another mother

    My wonderful mother passed away 14 years ago. She was my best friend, always there when I needed a listening ear or advice about anything. Mother’s Day is tough for me. My kids are not attentive on that day; it’s practically a non-event for me, especially since my husband died. I look forward to the day I can join my mom in heaven.

  • Natalie

    Thank you, Lisa-Jo, for your post. I, too, am a motherless daughter. When I read those 2 words in your title, I was crying before I even got to the post. I lost my mom to renal cancer when I was 31. I am now 53, the same age she was when she died. She was a very hard-working woman, even working 3 jobs at one point to help my dad make ends meet. She always found the time in there somehow spend with us 4 children, whether it was to attend a school function or to take us to the beach in the summer on her days off. If there ever was a saint this side of heaven, it was my mother. I still miss her terribly. I miss that she wasn’t here when I went through a terrible divorce, because she would have been my encouragement. I miss that she didn’t get to see my sons grow up, and that they didn’t get to know her. And I miss that she didn’t get to see me marry again, to the most wonderful man I could have ever hoped for. I am thankful for the wonderful memories I have of her, and that she lived her life as a Christian woman, wife, and mother. I know she is watching over my family and I from heaven, and that one day I will see her again. Happy Mother’s Day to you, Lisa-Jo, and to all mothers.

  • http://www.historichomemaking.blogspot.com Nicole

    Thank you so much for this.

    My momma has been gone for 15 years. She missed my high school graduation, my wedding, my daughter’s birth and so much in-between.

    I have a wonderful stepmom I call “Mom” but somedays… it’s just not the same. Somedays I wonder, and then I miss her, and then I feel guilty. Guilty because I shouldn’t miss her. Guilty because I didn’t know her (she died 2wks before my 8th birthday) and guilty about so many others…

    Thank you for posting this and giving me the chance to cry it out this year. Most years, I keep it boggled up inside, but this post, this year… it caused me to let it out, to be imperfect and to just miss her.

    Thank you.

  • Colleen

    I lost my mother in law the day before mother’s day four years ago and my sister on mother’s day 10 years ago. My family is surrounded in sorrow during this time. I watch my sister in laws and my husband struggle with the pain of our loss. My husband began a tradition to buy a rose for our garden each mothers day and one for my mom in remembrance of my sister. It has helped ease some of the pain during this time of year. I pray for all of you during these times of loss that God wraps you in his loving arms and comforts you.

  • Carol

    <3
    I miss my mom too, but I know she is where she always longed to be……in Jesus' embrace….and finally has the eternal rewards she quietly, humbly and determinedly worked towards.
    I miss how she would light up with pleasure and pride at the slightest accomplishments her grandsons achieved, and how she could be counted on to encourage and pray daily for each of us.
    I hope I can be even half the mom (and ouma) she was.

  • gwen

    I loved this post,, I had my Mom for 15yrs of my life and was with her before she went to the hospital,not knowing I wouldn’t see her again,getting when I came home from school on Monday evenings,her day off from work. Not knowing I wouldn’t have the pleasure of watching her again clean our home and do all those special things Moms do for their families.But I have awesome memories of her watching Walt Disney with us on Sunday evenings, the Wizard of Oz,and Wild Kingdom. I remember her fixing my hair on Saturdays for Church ,on Sunday and helping my sister and I our outfits for Church and school each night, it was our “girl time”, and I can remember her being “girlie” like us as we told her about things important to us , as we sampled make-up and panty hose,and new pumps we had to practice walking in , giggling and falling , how she listened and encouraged us as any “older” Best Friend would do,for someone they loved and treasured. Theses were simple yet treasured times, my sister and I shared together with our Mom,our best-friend,that are priceless to me.
    No friend compared to the best-friend our Mom was to us, and whom we listened to before we would any friend concerning those things dear to us or confusing to us.
    We were confident that she had the all the “right” answers for everything,for she was also the wisest of “all ” of our friends. These times with us her daughters,cost her only Love and quality time, of which she gave so freely with all of her heart and soul,
    and she left us with priceless and treasured memories”, I wouldn’t trade for all the tea,or gold in China. These are memories I would like to also make with my grand-daughters and “spiritual” daughters, of making each one feel like a princess in her own castle. Of causing each one to feel that “she is my Favorite”, among many.
    I miss my Mom,being with me during wedding,the birth of my sons and their lives,as well as during the births and growth of my grands.But I have so much that I can share with them,because of her!
    God Bless you!

    • http://DAYSPRING.COM CAROL REIMER

      THIS HAS BEEN SUCH A BLESSING TO ME,…AS I AM NOW 77 YEARS OLD,HAVING TWO GROWN DAUGHTERS AND SONS,AS WELL AS EIGHT GRANDCHILDREN,TWO ARE GRANDAUGHTERS TWO,GRANDSONS.ONE DAUGHTER TOOK MY HUSBAND AND I FOR A GREAT DINNER LAST NIGHT, THEN GIFTS AND CONVERSATION AT HER HOUSE AFTERWARDS.
      THE OTHER DAUGHTER IS HAVING US FOR A GREAT DINNER AT HER HOUSE TONIGHT, ALONG WIHTH OTHER RELATIVES.MY HUSBAND AND I ARE MOST BLESSED BOTH BY THESE TWO DAUGHTERS AS WELL AS OUR TWO SONS WHO ARE EQUALLY AS DEVOTED TO US AT THE DAUGHTERS! FOR MOST OF THEIR LIVES HAVE LIVED NEAR US AND WHERE THEY GREW UP,ONE MOVED TO COLORADO THIS PAST YEAR,AND WE MISS HE AND HIS WIFE SO MUCH.
      WHEN LOOKING BACK, I CANNOT HELP BE THINK HOW CLOSE TO MISSING LL OF THIS HAD NOT BOTH MY HUSBAND AND I LISTENED TO GOD’S DIRECTIONS IN OUR LIVES AND BEEN WILLING TO DO AN ‘ABOUT FACE’ THEN ALLOW HIM TO REPAIR THE DAMAGE THAT HAD BEEN DONE THROUGH OUR DIVORCE,HIS REMARRYING ANOTHER,…THEN,OUR GETTING OUR LIVES STRAIGHT WITH THE LORD AND EVENTUALLY, OUR REMARRYING EACH OTHER TO ONCE AGAIN,…START OVER! NOPE, IT WAS NOT EASY, IT WAS HARD,..BUT GOD IS GOD AND HE IS THE ONE WHO PUT US BACK TOGETHER AND HE WAS/IS THE ONE WHO HAS GUARDED OUR HEARTS AND MINDS AND KEPT US TOGETHER SINCE THE YEAR WE RE-MARRIED,…WAY BACK ,….MANY YEARS AGO!,..{“1960ISH”}
      NEVER BE TOO QUICK TO SAY “IT’S OVER”,…GOD HAS ALL KINDS OF WAYS TO SOFTEN HEARTS, ..BUT GET READY FOR IT BEING A “ROUGH RIDE” AT TIMES.
      YOU CAN ALSO REMEMBER THAT YOU’RE NOT THE ONLY RIDER IN THAT SADDLE CALLED LIFE AFTER “RE-MARRIAGE TO THE SAME PARTNER”,..THERE’S ALSO A RIDER ALONGSIDE YOU, CALLED THE HOLY SPIRIT WHO WILL INSTRUCT YOU IN ALL YOUR WAYS LEST YOU TAKE A TUMBLE AGAIN OR COME PERIOUSLY CLOSE TO THAT EDGE!!YOU CAN COUNT ON HIS LEADING, BUT YOU MUST BE WILLING TO LISTEN TO HIS DIRECTIONS AND AT TIMES, HE SPEAKES IN A REALLY STILL,SMALL VOICE. MOTHERS EVERYWHERE, YOU CAN MAKE OYUR HOME THE GREATEST PLACE ON EARTH, NO MATTER HOW SMALL OYUR HOUSE IS, NOR HOW LITTLE INCOME YOU M AY HAVE,PUT GOD FIRST IN ALL YOU DO AND HE CAN MULTIPLY THE BREAD AND TURN WATER INTO WINE,AS THE BIBLE STORY TELLS US IN THE NEW TESTAMENT.AGAIN, PUT GOD FIRST, HE WILL TAKE ROFOF HIS “COACHING JOB” AND YOU WILL BE BOTH A GREAT WIFE.MOTHER AND GRANDMOTHER WHEN THAT TIME COMES,…THAT’S ALMOST THE BEST TIME OF ALL,…GROWING OLD WITH GOD’S ‘CROP’ OF KIDS AND GRANDKIDS.ALL OF WHOM LIVE FOR THE LORD ,…AND MOST ARE WILLING TO FOLLOW HIM WITH THEIR LIVES.

      SINCERELY, HAVE YOU’RE BEST MOTHER’S DAY YET!

      ! CAROLREIMER, GARLAND TEXAS

  • Pingback: How to Celebrate Mother’s Day {even when it is hard} :: Putting God First Place()

  • http://www.midwestmagnolia.com Midwest Magnolia – Melissa Lewis

    Thank you for sharing this and opening up your heart to us all! What a precious post. Though so many don’t know the hurt of losing a mother yet, we are all here to cry along with you and rejoice with you as well.

  • Heather

    Thanks for this post. I lost my mom when I was 13. At 13, I grieved, but in a rough, young teenage way. My grief was so intensified when I gave birth to my daughters. I missed having my mother there. She was an RN and would have loved to be there for me, dispensing advice, love and care. Mother’s Day is always a mixed bag for me. I focus on my kids and on the wonderful aunt God blessed me with who has been a mom to me and a grandma to my kids. I have a wonderful, generous mother in law. Neverthelesss, I always take some time on mother’s day to let myself grieve, remember and reflect on my beautiful mother.

  • Marsha

    It’s not the same.
    Brokenhearted.
    Putting the pieces back together.
    Carefully, tenderly, with love.
    I celebrate you every day.

  • http://gitzengirl.blogspot.com gitz

    praying with you for all of these beautiful daughters…

  • http://www.jennunbound.blogspot.com Jenn Voight

    It’s been nearly 4 years, so I had more time with my mom but it still hurts every day. We were such close friends, and so much alike it was like losing a part of myself. I lost someone who loved me unconditionally. The comfort is that someday I will walk with her again in Heaven.

  • Karen

    Thank you for the posts. It’s nice to know that I am not alone. My mother died of cancer Christmas Eve three years ago. Both times that she received a cancer diagnosis, it was Mother’s Day weekend. Her entire family died in December and what brings me comfort is knowing that she received the very special gift of heaven just in time to celebrate Jesus’ birthday and gather with past loved ones. Someday our reunion is going to be awesome. I will be praying for all of the other daughters in this world who have lost their mothers as well! God Bless!

  • Jasmin

    This is perfect for me. My mother died of cancer when I was 13. Thank you for posting it.

  • Jan

    My Mother has been gone 15 years, I miss her so very much, she was my best friend, and my cheerleader in all I wanted. Plus she listened to me whine more than anyone I know. I love this post as I didn’t know so many women are Motherless. I feel I have a sisterhood now. I have no sister, so everyone who posted, here is a hug.
    Thank for for this outlet. It means a lot. Especially this weekend, Mothers Day, 5/8/11.

  • Andrea

    My mum was called to her heavenly home 8 years ago on Feb 9, 2003 at age 63. I am the last of 4 kids and was born when my mum was 42. I was 21 when she passed but since then feel very much orphaned as my dad had already passed away when I was 13. Although the Lord has blessed me with the most understanding and supportive man as my husband, there is not a single day that I dont think about her and all that she isnt here to share with us physically. She would be proud to know that her baby Andrea is now a mommy to a beautiful 8 month old baby boy Cayden. I wish she was here to experience all 6 of her grandchildren, to support her children as they journey through life but more so to let her children enjoy every bit of her! She is sorely missed by her children. The Lord has his own plan for each one of us and we accept his plan for mum. A big hug to Lisa-Jo for this amazing post and all you motherless daughters out there! Your mums are looking down at you with pride as you all have turned out to be wonderful women. :)

  • http://www.5kidsandadog.com Dawn

    It’s been 16 years since I lost my Mom to cancer, when I was 5 months pregnant with my second daughter. I can’t count how many times I’ve wanted to just drop on to her couch and talk…. play cards until all hours of the night…. see her hug her grandkids. I was 22 when I lost her and I still feel like i need her so much. She would have turned 63 two weeks ago. For some reason this year is harder for me than last year.

    • http://butterflygenes.blogspot.com Heathahlee

      Sweet Dawn, this will be my first Mother’s Day without my mom. I lost her to cancer last October. I will be praying for you tomorrow!

  • http://oxleys.blogspot.com/ Amy

    God called my mom home when I was 21 (15 years ago). I still long for the way she could encourage my soul better than anyone else. It makes me so sad to not have her there to remember my childhood, and to answer questions about her own life. And my heart aches that my children have missed out on what an incredible woman she was, and that I never got to see her with any of them. I also miss the way she held our family together.

  • http://trustinghimwithtoday.blogspot.com Bernadine

    This is my fifth Mother’s Day without my mom.
    I miss her hugs, her kisses, her smiles.
    I miss her voice lifting my name up in prayer.
    I miss the love that only a mother can give.
    But I’m thankful that I have that blessed hope
    of seeing her again one day.

    Thank you so much for sharing this, and to all of you
    motherless daughters, I feel your pain.

  • http://butterflygenes.blogspot.com Heathahlee

    Lisa-Jo, I’m so glad I read this post. I lost my mother on October 4th, 2010, not quite three weeks before Relevant. That whole weekend God kept showering His love and grace all over me, I couldn’t get away from it! But as the weeks have turned into months I miss her more and more. I can’t imagine not having her with me when I was as young as you were when you lost your mom. I had a full 40 years with mine…but that doesn’t mean I don’t miss her any less. As I was buying Mother’s Day cards for my step-mom and mother in law yesterday, I bruised the inside of my lips trying to keep from crying in Walmart. It didn’t work. I embarrassed myself and scared my son. I had a moment where thought that it wasn’t fair that I was buying cards for women who were NOT my mother. I’m not sure what I will be feeling tomorrow, and have already been thinking about several other women, in our church and here in blog land, who have recently lost their moms. As much as I’m hurting with this first Mother’s Day without my beautiful Momma, I know I’m not alone. Thank you for your sweet words of encouragement.

    • http://www.thegypsymama.com Lisa-Jo @thegypsymama

      Not alone, sweet sister. And the Spirit is never scared of our scariest ugliest crying. It’s ok, He can take it. Let Him hold it all. And you.

      Blessings on you tomorrow.

  • http://www.aholyexperience.com Ann Voskamp@Holy Experience

    Oh Lisa Jo…

    Can’t write…
    Too many tears.

    I love the mother are, because the mother she was…

  • Stephanie Toombs

    Had to post this on my facebook tonight hard to describe how one grieves the loss of a Mom. Your message touched me to my core. Thanks for sharing – Sent it to my sister who never really knew my Mom. Mom was sick especially during the last 10 of her 58 years, and couldn’t live with us over 21 years ago. My brothers and my Dad never got over it. She was a special lady who endured much.

    Consider yourself hugged! Sending blessings and love your way.

  • Chantal

    This post really spoke to me, even though my mom is alive and well (and living in the same home as me and my dad). One of my best friends is an absolute awesome mom to a little girl and boy, yet she lost her mom to cancer shortly after she got married to an equally awesome man (he’s one of 9 kids). What really spoke to me about this post Lisa-Jo is, to be totally honest, my mom really hasn’t been a mom to me for quite a while now (I’m in my early 30s and the last one at home, that and I’m a stroke survivor) and a lot of times I kinda wish she would quit being so self-centered (everything’s about her, even and especially if it isn’t) and see what damage she’s doing to me in the process. She’s so focused on her job that when she does focus on me, it’s almost always negative. Needless to say, I love her, but only because I have to, not because I want to. To complicate matters she’s a Lutheran minister and I’m a Catholic convert (I converted shortly after graduating college) and I really don’t think she has really accepted that change. It feels like I don’t have a real mom, though technically she gave birth to me

  • http://www.simplysara.ca simply sara

    even after 19 years i still miss how my mama use to brush the hair back away from my forehead.

    thank you for this post.

  • http://lori-spills.tumblr.com Lori W

    oh how i needed this this week.
    I lost my mama to cancer in 2003, 3 days before my 30th birthday.
    some days are easier than others, some years are harder.
    oh how I wish sometimes i could just call her up for a word of advice, or a laugh, or an i love you.
    yet, how blessed I am that she was mine.
    how often I forget to let my heart groan and tears fall to my God….He longs to comfort me.
    thank you for sharing this, and for the opportunity for so many to see we’re not alone.
    xo

    • Jenny E.

      I lost my mother to cancer 4 years ago, 4 days after my 45th birthday. It’s hard to lose your mom so close to your birthday, isn’t it? It makes it kind of hard to be happy. Like you I wish so much that I could just call her up sometimes, just to hear her voice again and ask for advice. She was my best friend. I miss her so much, especially on Mother’s Day. Blessings to you and all the motherless daughters tomorrow. I hope we all get to feel a loving touch from our mothers on this special day.

  • http://thergonzalezfamily.blogspot.com/ Melissa

    I just miss her!!

  • Marcy Csuhran

    Yes….shameless in her pjs. My mom was like that – she used to love to ride my brother’s skateboard – she cried because she wasn’t accepted by the snobby moms at PTA – she was just her – just a wonderfully happy person and I miss her today immensely,
    It has been 26 years and I was 21 when she died – I never could have children, and I have years where it does not bother me and years, like this, when I am reminded of all the ads and church services and restaurants filled with mothers and sons and daughters, and today it stings. Happy Mothers Day – I love you all. Have a blessed and lovely day.

  • Laura

    Thank you Lisa & everyone for your sharing.

    My mother returned home to the Lord on 30 March this year. She died of lung cancer. This is the 1st Mother’s Day without my mum. We used to celebrate by having a special lunch at one of her favourite restaurants.

    It’s tough holding back the tears esp. on special occasions like birthdays & Mother’s Day.Still reminding myself to celebrate that she’s home with the Lord, no more pain. Mum loves flowers esp. roses. Planted rose bush in memory of her.

    My prayers & wishes to all the motherless daughters in the world.

    Laura, Singapore

  • http://shirleyh.awumoms.com Shirley

    My mom passed away 22 years ago. In the last 2 years she was here we sorted out a lot of differences and she was SO helpful and nurturing in ways I had not seen in younger days. I’m glad we were able to communicate openly then and now I have fond, funny and wonderful memories of her…Her sense of humor, the sense of style she gave me and my sisters, her gift of hospitality and the most important: a strong vital prayer life. No matter how far away I may have seemed or felt from God, she instilled a heartfelt knowledge of the power of prayer to deal with anything. Thanks Mom and thank God she taught me well!

  • janice spiak

    My mother went home to be with the Lord in 1980. I was very Blessed to have her throughout my childhood and until I was 29 yrs. old. what I have taken with me through the years concerning my Mother was her determination to learn new skills her compassion for people and her straighforward honesty. she is really still with me through a remark or philosophy on life I learned from her and now use in my own life. I reflect now as I’m older myself on her wisdom she had concerning life and people. I Look forward to seeing her again someday in heaven. Until; that day, I will live my life to the fullest as she did and would want all her children to do. HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY! Janice

  • http://www.beccamarchbanks.me Rebecca Marchbanks

    I miss her laugh…and her advice. It’s been six years but every once in a while I still pick up the phone and try to call her…

  • http://openmyearslord.blogspot.com Janis@Open My Ears Lord

    My Mom has been gone almost 10 years now, and I know the ache. What hurt the most was not having the woman who loved me and knew me so well to share all the joys of my life. My mother listened to my every story with every fiber of her being. She loved hearing about what was happening in my life.
    The second thing that hurt so much was all the mother/daughter events at schools, at churches, everywhere. I had no mother, and God had given me only sons. I had no place at those banquets. My loneliness engulfed me and made me feel even more isolated at these times.
    But God has found new ways to help fill those voids. Today, on Mother’s Day, I have watched all my men jostle around our basketball court, laugh, play, and enjoy being together. This has filled my heart with joy.
    They have also made me feel like a queen–making brunch for me, planning dinner, sending me FB messages, giving me boy-type roses (ones with petals falling off), telling me they love me. They’ve let me do whatever I want, and they’ve listened the best they can.
    The Lord has also sent me a precious listener. Another woman who loves to hear about my every day happenings and all that is going on with the family. And she is there with her wisdom and support through the tough times. This is my cousin’s wife. She’s been my friend forever. Even before my cousin married her. But now, we talk almost every day through email and I feel the bond of family, sister, friend, one who cares deeply–the woman’s touch I was so missing.
    Praise God for taking care of my deepest needs in His time, and in His way!
    Happy Mother’s Day to all,
    Janis

  • http://www.thegiftofmondays.com colleen laquay urbaniuk @ thegiftofmondays.com

    i connect with your post because i’ve been a motherless daughter since the age of six. somehow life is never the same. i wrote a post about my mom last monday on my blog and got a huge response. i think God connects us all together because He knows we need each other. sending a hug to you and to all the motherless daughters who read this. happy mother’s day.

    http://www.thegiftofmondays.com/2011/05/my-mom-died-today.html

  • Carol

    Thank you for posting this, it is a comfort. My mum went to heaven almost a year ago when she lost the battle against pancreatic cancer. Her name was Joy; she was aptly named, bringing joy and love to everyone and every place she went. At church they called her the hanky lady. Everyone knew her name, but she was known for giving handkerchiefs to all the women in church. It was sweet to see women with their Joy hankies after mum went to heaven. I have a coat she wore that still has hankies in the pockets. I am 52, but I have always been her little girl. I am blessed to have been her daughter, and even more to be so much like her.

  • Wendy

    Wow, when I read this I felt such peace! I didn’t feel alone on this painful day. And I felt when you stroke my hair off my forehead, as I sobbed…..
    My mum passed away 5 days before my 20th b’day, from a massive heart attack. It was her 3rd one since her first one when I was 13. It’s been 13 years since she’s been gone. And since then have gone through a painful divorce. Found love again, re-married, and now have 2 beautiful daughters, 6 yrs old and 2 years old. Have missed her every single day. Not being able to call her up and talk to her, and ask her questions. It’s frustrating, and still so painful. I tried for many years to replace that hole she left, but was unsuccessful. Finally realized that NO ONE or anything can take her place. I miss her smile, the softness of her skin, her eyes, and her hugs….. seems to me that this pain will never go away…
    I love my daughters and want them to have me always at 100%, so I talk to them about her, and show them fotos. And try not to let my sadness get in the way of being the best mother I can be. They give me strength. I thank God every day for my daughters. And for my hubby too :)

  • Danelle

    Wow, I just stumbled upon this post. It is so beautifully written! Thanks so much for sharing. It did strike a chord with me as I lost my mom when I was 6. My dad remarried shortly after her death, so I did have a mom to raise me, but my heart has always yearned to know my biological mom since I barely remember her. She passed on to me many things – my nose, my hair color, being a musician, enjoying arts and crafts. And how I wish she could have been here for my growing up. And to see her grandkids. Many times when my three were infants and toddlers, I yearned to talk to her and ask how she did it with her three little ones. Now my sisters and I have all out-lived her, and many of our own kids are older than we sisters were when our mom died. It puts a whole new perspective on things. And makes me want to love on and squeeze my precious children – and be more than thankful I am here to be able to do that.

  • http://sahsha.blogspot.com Calypso

    i loved your sweet memory of your mother dancing in the morning.. that you felt that love overflow and outpour from you.. That’s awesome.
    I try to find a happy memory of my mother. I pray for something.. ANYTHING. Some slight off moment to remember to know that she did in fact care or love me. But.. nothing comes. She died 4 years ago. In a fire. We hadn’t spoken in years. The bitterness and hatred flamed the sorrow. I feel lucky in ways. I don’t have to deal with her constant disappoint or torment. I struggle with what might have been.. but deep down, I know better. If she lived 100 hundred years, the rift would still be between us. We are parallel lines each going opposite directions. We would never intersect, reconcile, share the joy of this life, comfort each other on those bad days.. No. She didn’t like me. I was the constant reminder of everything she cannot do, cannot be. She hoped and dreamed of a different life. Not all of us are built for motherhood. She loved to look at herself and people loved looking at her. Then they started looking at me. Oh the hatred that manifested. I disconnected. Checked out. So did she.
    Last Mother’s Day was my first one with my 4 month old son. It was filled with lots of traveling, activity, and gushing at the baby dedication. I never had the time to think and ponder and reflect on my own mother. This year was different. I really longed to have a nice pretty story, but I don’t. The story is now my son’s. I hope one day he’ll write beautiful things about me and know that he is wanted and loved beyond anything he’s ever known……………………..

  • Christine

    Thank you so much for this post. It seems those with mothers don’t seem to understand or give much thought as to what life is like for those of us without on many, many-a-day. Aside from Christmas, which will never ever be as festive or celebratory or wondrous feelings of sheer happiness without my mom, it’s the little every day things that I have missed terribly for the past 20 years, when Jesus called her home long before any of us were ready, when she was 55 and I was 24.

    There have been so many times I longed to have her back, just to kick back and hang together like we used to, or when my baby was days and months old so the clueless one (moi) would have had somewhere to turn when the cries wouldn’t stop. What I would have done to have my mom to just wrap her arms around me when my first marriage ended, someone to listen to me when I explained why I just couldn’t wear the frozen smile of fake happiness any longer when I had been crying myself to sleep every night for years on end. Oh how I wish she had been there to remind me that I was living a life of sin and to tell me to turn my life back over to the Lord and all would be well during those single mom years when I was so self-absorbed with what was best for ME.

    Mostly, I wish she had been there so I could see her face when I introduced her to MY Man, the one that God created just for me to love me and take care of me forever. The one that she knew was out there for me, all those times she told me not to settle back when I was too young to know any better. I wish she had been there when we got married so we could have all been in the picture together, not just the photo of her forever reminding me that she was not there. I wish more than anything my 14 year old daughter could go on a special summer vacation with her every year because she would learn so much and they would love each other beyond imagination!! Oh, and how wonderful it would be to just call her up and see if she wanted to go to the mall with me and I’d pick her up in 20 minutes.

    Many times, I’ve wondered how my life would have been different had God allowed me more time with her. But then I remember, most importantly, I am the woman I am because of the time he allowed me to be with her. And even though she is with the Lord and has been welcoming loved ones to heaven for many years, her words which have laid dormant in this sometimes over-busy brain have still echoed in my ears at just the right moments that she probably would have said them to me again if she were still here.

    I am the woman I am today because of her influence on my life. The influence that brought me back to the Lord, that wouldn’t stop until I set my life back on the path God intended for me, the special love that has made me remember how much God loves ME, and the same love I get to share with my daughter. And hopefully, my daughter will have a mother for many, many years to come! But even if she ends up a daughter without a mother too early, she will know how much I loved her and how much God loves her forever!!

  • Mary

    I can honestly say I know what you are going through. I had my mother for just a few months after I turned 19…and then like a wisp in the wind, her soul disappeared. However our mothers always know little ways to show us they are still there watching over us from above. I share in the joys of the memories you hold dear and the tears you subconsciously will try to hide from those around you. All of our mothers are still alive, and we will see them again.

    I’m 21 now.

  • Mary

    oh…and even though I have had a really bumpy road as far as religion goes I know my mom is thoroughly enjoying her time with her Dad and our great heavenly father and his son…I hope there comes a day where I don’t have to pretend I don’t feel her absence in my life to spare the feelings of the others around me…G-d is good…don’t ever ever ever turn away from him…and as funny as this may sound, I never once blamed G-d for her death…I remember as a child I’d blame him for a pet fishes death, or something silly like that…but oddly enough, it didn’t even cross my mind to lash out at him…maybe that was his way of telling me he was still watching over me…even though its really hard to be true to our almighty G-d in this ugly world that would rather ignore him. Happy belated mother’s day to all of you motherless daughters…and those of you who still have your mothers…cherish them. Mine was taken from me in a matter of two days when I realized what was going on. And mothers…don’t be afraid to discipline your daughters…even G-d
    s word says “spare the rod, spoil the child.” At my mother’s funeral I put it out there in front of G-d and everyone that I was thankful that my mom had disciplined me. None of this “go to your room” but real discipline…occasionally delivered out of anger, but never void of love…trust me moms…your children will thank you for showing them you actually care enough to sit down and speak with them rather then banishing them to their bedrooms.

    G-d bless all of you today and always.

    (the 21 year old lol)

  • Silvina

    Thank you. This past mother’s day I was more concerned about the women in my life that are struggling because they cannot become mothers. I put aside for that day that I am a motherless daughter. Your post helped me to mourn.

  • Carolyn

    I’m late. I just saw this link because somebody else passed it on. This was my very first Mother’s Day without Mom. She passed away in March. I got to have her for 41 years, but it wasn’t nearly enough. It would never be enough time with her. Thank you for saying this. Thank you. :)

  • Jenny

    Thank you for writing this. I am much past Mother’s Day and finally had the courage to read it. My sister forwarded it to me and said “read with kleenex”. Mother’s Day was difficult enough for me without reading anything to make me cry. I’ve been a motherless daughter now for 1 year, 1 month and 12 days. I lost my mom to cancer on 4/21/10. I had her for 62 years. She is with Jesus now but it doesn’t take away the pain. I miss her smile, her wonderful, infectious laugh and the doting and loving grandmother she was to my 3 beautiful boys(ages 7, 9 and 11 now). They miss her so very much. I am blessed to have had her for so long but miss her every. single. day. I am looking forward to the day we will be reunited in Heaven.

  • Loraly

    Oh Lyn
    My dear sweet mother died Thursday September 29th. Having a hard time living. I’m hurting. I want to die. I can’t stop crying. Only reason I am alive is because my three children need me. But I need my Nanay too. Life is too hard to live without her. Don’t talk to me about angels or God or heaven. I don’t want to hear it. As far as I am concerned, God hates me for letting me suffer this pain. He didn’t kill my mom but he didn’t save her either. This hurts so much more than when my baby died.
    Please, say something to make my tears go away. No one else knows what to say to me. I feel so lost and alone.

    • Penny

      Loraly,

      I’m so sorry for the pain you are going through.I do know how heartbreaking it is.My Mother took her last breath in my arms 2 1/2 years ago.The loss at times was unbearable but then something changed .I still miss her deeply but I know that she would not want me to give up on the life she gave me.Nor do I want to .My children need me , they are grieving also .For m e it is a small comfort to know that my mother is no longer suffering .I have turned my grief into a new outlook on everything in life .But without my belief I’m not sure I would of been able to make it to this point as it carried me through the duration of not only her illness and caring for her but the loss of her and to this day.
      I pray that your heart heals and that you find joy ,peace and comfort once again.

      Please try and be assured that God hates no one , that there is no hate in God .

      Penny

      • Penny

        Loraly,I just noticed the date on this ,I’m so sorry i’m so late in a reply.

        Penny

  • http://chewingtaffy.wordpress.com chewing taffy

    I miss my mom’s laugh.

    I remember it, from when I was little. But then she stopped laughing. I’ve lost her to mental illness, not death, and so there’s always this hope that she’ll come back.

    But she doesn’t.

  • Jordan

    I lost my mom 5.5 years ago, two days after Thanksgiving and a month before my 16th birthday, to breast cancer. I’m 21 now. There are so many things that I’ve experienced since then that she hasn’t been here for.

    All of my boyfriends.
    Prom.
    Graduation.
    Starting college.
    Moving across the country.

    And there are so many things yet to come that she won’t be here for.

    Graduating college.
    Getting married.
    Having kids.

    Honestly, having kids frightens me because most women turn to their mothers at that point as far as how to take care of a baby. I will go into that having no idea what to do.

    I’ve had many people in my life try to take her place as an authoritative figure. What none of them realize is, I don’t need the authority. I just want someone to be there for me, hold me when I need it, and tell me everything is going to be okay.

    • Marissa

      Wow my heart goes out to you Jordan! I can totally relate to your post. I am 20 years old now, I lost my mother 2 years ago. My mother passed 3 days before my high school graduation. I didn’t have my mom there for the crucial parts of my life. The transition into college would of been a lot easier with her, as well as the decisions I have to face now, about my future. I am thankful that I had her around growing up, molding me into who I am today but as I get older it only gets harder. You don’t realize how much you need that mother figure until you don’t have it. I can relate to you also in having many people take her place as an authoritative figure. I am thankful that God has placed these people in my life but it is not the same as my own mother. Know that I am praying for you, and for God to comfort you in the times you just need her to comfort you, May you be comforted by God’s open arms and surrounded with his love.

      2 Corinthians 1:3-4
      The Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.

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  • Amy

    I lost my mother to breast cancer just a little over a year ago…. Grief is very heavy. I miss so many things about her. Her smile, the sound if her voice, her warm hugs, the way she looked at and loved my children, her hands, her wisdom. I could go on all day. She was only 59 when she died and I was 35. I have small children that will never really know her and that sucks!
    I hate Mother’s Day now cuz it’s almost unbearable without her.

  • Penny

    Thank-you for this post….
    My thoughts and prayers are with all of you that are Mother less daughter’s.
    I know from missing my own Mother today how hard it is, especially on days like today .Although I was fortunate to have my Mother until I was 46.I also feel deeply for my children and my Husband who were all very close to her since she lived with us for 14 years . Especially my six year old who lost his Gramma when he was 4 .He loved and admired her so much .Every now and then he sounds just like her even though some things he would of been too young to remember.It takes you back just a little.I always tell him he sounds just like Gramma.His face always lights up then.Knowing that she is no longer suffering is a comfort despite the heartache.I will always remember her with gratitude for her love , strength, wisdom , beauty , courage and selflessness.

    One thing I find helps to soothe the heartache a little is lighting a candle just for her and put my thoughts solely on her ,I will then write her a note of gratitude and buy a special plant , one of her favourites.I’ll put the note in with the plant after I plant it .I have a special spot in my garden that is her memory garden.
    Penny

  • Marla

    I miss…
    Awaking as a child in the wee hours of the morning (oh, so many nights)
    To a light on down the hall
    Quietly I tippy-toe from my room to the end of the hallway
    And there I see it
    My mother bent over the couch on her knees
    Her thread-bare Bible open in front of her
    Head bowed, fingers tightly interlaced
    Verbally uttering precious words of prayer
    For her family
    and over this little 4 year old

    That precious sight indelibly etched in my mind, still nearly 50 years later
    What I want etched in the mind of my little boy for his future

    A praying mama
    Who, when she looks at you
    Causes you to just melt because of all the grace and mercy and overwhelming love
    You see pouring from her face and eyes

    The heart of Christ

  • http://marinaskitchentable.blogspot.com Marina

    Oh Lisa-Jo. Tears.

    I miss, more than ever, that she wasn’t – isn’t – here. She doesn’t know that I’ve changed. Turned into a good girl. Would have loved her because she’s my mom. That someday I’d get that.
    I hate that she missed my baptism. meeting my husband. My wedding day. My kids don’t know her – for better or worse – they don’t know her scowl or her laugh. They don’t know her great recipes. Her favorite things – because even I don’t know them.
    As a grandma now, I miss her not teaching me how to be a grandma, and wish my kids had had a grandma for me to learn from.
    Since I can’t change any of that, I’ll just keep plowing forward and walking in His ways. I trust that He knows ALL of this, and His will prevails!

  • http://www.acookiebeforedinner.com NJ @ A Cookie Before Dinner

    What I miss most is that she missed the chance to know me as a woman. When she died i was still a waffling twenty something trying to figure out a path. Now, I’m in my 30’s, married, and a mother. I mourn the relationship that we could have had now- woman to woman vs the one we did- woman to child. I miss her voice. I miss her laugh. And I miss way she knew me- so intimately and completely in every way.

  • Tammie

    Thank you Lisa for sharing your story. I too lost my mom but it was 22 years ago and I still grieve and miss her so. I just keep believing and praying that one day we will see each other again. This year is a little more rough than usual as me and my husband have been trying for a couple of years to have a child of our own. I just have to keep believing that if it is what the Lord wants that it will happen. Thank you all you ladies for sharing.

  • Tammie

    Thank you Lisa. I too lost my mom but it was 22 years ago and I still grieve and miss her so. I just keep believing and praying that one day we will see each other again. This year is a little more rough than usual as me and my husband have been trying for a couple of years to have a child of our own. I just have to keep believing that if it is what the Lord wants that it will happen. Thank you all you ladies for sharing.

  • Sue S

    My Mom went home to Jesus just a month ago. I know she’s with God because she saw Jesus and angels before she passed. The pain is so very raw today. I praise God I still have my Mother-in-law to love me.

  • Elle

    This was such a wonderful message I miss mom’s hugs and her voice. I wish she got to see me graduate and get married. I wish for that relationship with her now that I am an adult in my 30’s. I thank God for the time I did have with her. For all those who are motherless I will be praying for you.

  • DARA GATES

    I’ve had so many, ‘I’m turning into my mother moments.’ She’s been gone 11 years and there are many things I miss, but the one I miss the most are the lipstick kisses of my childhood. My badge of my mother’s love.

  • Mary

    My Mom died when I was 25. I was so sad and full of grief about losing my Mom I didn’t realize I lost my best friend too. I miss her voice, the one thing I can’t recall. I remember how she looked, her smell (Jean nate’ in summer!) and how her hugs felt. Today, I made my boys (11&17) watch Elvis in Blue Hawaii. She loved the King! I am so sad I don’t have her anymore. My heart aches for one more moment with her.

  • http://mjsamuelson.wordpress.com Michele

    This is my second Mother’s Day without my mom. She was called home in August 2011.

    Thank you for this post.

  • Emily

    I miss her face. I miss her hands.
    I miss knowing that no matter how bad it was, she would be there.
    I miss being able to call her for any reason, and knowing that even if she was very busy, she acted like she had been waiting for my call.
    I miss her love…her unending love.
    I miss her laugh.
    I miss my mother, but more than that, I miss my friend.
    As a Christian, I know God is in control. I don’t doubt that for one second.
    However, it still hurts sometimes like it happened yesterday.
    Yet, I am still amazed that life goes on…

  • Benjanetta Hampton

    Hello, I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I lost my mom 19 years ago on the 30th and though I am a mother now it still hurts on mother’s day not to kiss her, hear laugh, or see her smile. My children will never understand the love she possessed. I just wish that I could see her hug them the way she did her kids & first grands. These are the things I dream about and I thank you for being there for this motherless child.

  • Jill

    My mother died when I was 26. That was 22 years ago. My son was 1 at the time. I was then and still am a wounded child, not solely because of her death, but years of hurts the enemy plagued me with that I cannot seem to shake. Her loss only compounded the wounds.

    This past summer, my youngest of 2 married. She was not there to help plan, cheerlead, shop or walk down the aisle. My one and only daughter, now married, moved away, leaving a empty hole again. Months later, I find out I am to become a grandmother. I cherish this time in our lives but would give anything to share it with my mother.

    I told a friend recently that I feel like a broken record always talking about her being gone. It’s really the only thing I have today that’s tangible of our relationship. My life is forever altered.

    Yesterday, I celebrated with my children, husband and other friends and family, but will forever long to see, touch and talk to my mother again.

  • http://tatertotslovinglearning.blogspot.com Casey Tatum

    Yes. i miss her voice, her laugh, the way she would brush my hair back from my forehead, her dancing in the kitchen, and our chats as I sat on the kitchen counter while she cooked. Most of all, I miss the friend she would have been to me as an adult, the MIL she would have been to my amazing husband, and the grandmother she would be to my 3 precious children. She went to be with Jesus over 18 years ago, when I was 20 years old. One day, I will run to meet her and throw my arms around her neck, when I make it home. Until then, I am my mother’s daughter every time I rejoice in a sunset, sing a James Taylor song, dance when there’s no music, and love with abandon. Thank you for this encouraging post. May our Father fill these mom spaces in our hearts as we rejoice in their lives and when we grieve their absence from ours.

  • Lisa Malan

    I just lost my mom two months ago to ovarian cancer. I miss her so much, though I am grateful that I had her for 42 years. She was so wonderful, and I loved her so much. My heart aches for her. Thank you for this post.

  • Kelly

    My mom passed from this world into the arms of Jesus on March 5 this year, due to complications from ovarian cancer at the age of 71. She was so brave, all the time. Her illness was short, but she had health issues her whole life. My sisters, brother and I were blessed to have her for so long. But I don’t think it matters if it’s 18 years or 50 years, you still ache for her hugs and kisses and voice telling you how much she loves you and how proud she is of you. I keep thinking I need to call her to share my goings-on for the day or week, then I remember I can’t and I am still so sad. My mom loved to sing and so do I and this Mother’s day I started singing in church and heard her voice from my throat. Oh my, I couldn’t sing at first, but then my voice got strong again and I rejoiced for her in my tears. My consolation is that she spent Mother’s Day with her mom for the first time in 8 years and in heaven! I am so thankful for the hope we have in Jesus that lets us know we will all be together again someday as long as we believe and trust in Him. He does indeed hear the groans of the Spirit, what we ourselves cannot express. Thank you so much for your post.

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  • Gail

    I am a motherless daughter! No children of my own. It is one month short of ONE year of mom’s passing. I had my first birthday without her yesterday ! Last year when went to eat for my bd she did not get to go due to rehab but we took cake and ate that with her! Her first bday in heaven is the end of the month May 30th! She died June 1, 2013. So this is a hard month for me !!!