All day long, I pour out, filling each one of these children of mine up. I do this over and over again from sunrise to sunset, and some days, even beyond and into the night. Every mother does. This is the calling. This is the requirement of a good mother. And each one of them, blessed and cursed with various personality traits, ingrained deep through. There’s one of them that is never full. This one needs more than I feel capable of giving some days. And while I still nurse my own old wounds of rejection, I fear all of the time that if I can’t fill him up, I am wounding. This mother’s heart is constantly laid out; it gets stepped on and worn through. The fabric of it gets stretched and frayed and some days, like an old worn carpet, all dirt flecked and spotted with mud stains, I want to roll it up and stuff it away. I want to lock it up and toss the key. I think, “ I can’t do this. I have nothing left to give!” How do you keep giving of yourself, when the will to give wanes, and you, yourself, ache dry and dusty?
For everyone who asks, receives, and he who seeks, finds. Luke 11:9
When I have nothing left to pour out, no oil left in my jar to feed their love- thirsty souls, when this one comes to me, the sparkle dulled in his eyes, and he pulls heavy on me, I ask for some to fill where there is none. I hold him close and pray for God to hurry up and give to me, so I can give quickly to him.
God is gracious to provide whenever we ask. I am learning that, it is out of the empty vessels that his grace is allowed to overflow. What good is a heart that is full up with other things? It is exactly this worn out, matted and frayed heart that he can use, that he can restore, and bring forth a fountain that refreshes and nourishes. God is always capable of filling the need. He repeatedly fills my empty so that I can in turn, fill these four little ones to overflowing. He empties himself out again and again, that we might gain a heart that bursts with abundance, that we might learn to keep giving, out of what we don’t have, trusting that Abba provides.
But the Lord stood at my side and gave me strength. 2 Timothy 4:17
Sweet sister, HE is enough. His grace is sufficient for you. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10) Praying today, that He fills your empty to overflowing, that you may in turn fill up those who need you, with more of him. Praying that you and I learn to be that vessel.
Gracious Father, thank you for filling the empty. Thank you for sustaining me when I just want to disappear. Father, forgive me when I don’t come to you to be filled. Sustain me for this job, for this mothering thing that empties me out daily, sometimes hourly. Give me your grace and strength to trust that you will provide, that you will give me enough to fill these children up, to love them like you love them, and to know that when I am empty, it’s just room for you to fill.
By: Kris Camealy ~Always Alleluia