Before there were two daughters who steal my hairbrush and make it their job to leave a trail of Barbies and toy horses in their wake,

Before there was a house loss, a lawsuit, a marriage destroyed and rebuilt,

And before there was the daily duty of rent, jobs, bills, making lunches and school drop offs and pickups,

There was us.

Us: the Us before all of that. The Who that could get up from the couch on a Thursday night and say “Let’s see that movie.” The Us that only had Us to deal with in arguments. We weren’t thinking about education for our kids that didn’t exist yet or the right church for our family. We were talking about what was good for Us.

It was the Us who only had to buy two plane tickets and two meals at dinner.

And the fights, because even then there were fights, were difficult, but at the least we didn’t have to hide it from two sets of sweet eyes who watched our every move.

Before all of that, there was Us.

So sometimes, after nearly a decade of parenting we tuck the girls in nicely at the grandparents house, jump in a car and drive. We always drive north because where we live in our state, most of what is worth seeing lies north.

And then, as the miles pass we try to steal back the Us that once was. Somewhere around Fresno or further we might find it.

It’s the grown-up us though. It is the Us that has been through tragedy and betrayal and have become different people because of it. It’s the Us that at the core, are still the young stupid couple who got married at 21 and who lived to tell the tale.

When we reduce our extras and retreat to the duo that once stood at the altar, it all becomes so much easier. I discovered early on that we never “fought on trips.” Its because, even then, we removed the normal daily things and created a stripped down world in which we were the most important thing to each other.

No kids to cut meat for at dinner. No bills to pile up next to us on the table. No laundry to fold, no school papers to sign, no homework to supervise.

Getting away cures so much and even if just to escape for a few days, it’s worth it. It reminds us what is the most important and the most crucial to our survival.

We remember why we fell in love in the first place.

I think it’s the same with God.

When we {for a short period of time} can strip our lives of the stuff that piles on and fills our thoughts, we can reach a place where our relationship with God becomes a little easier.

I might get rid of the social media

And input

And iphones

And text messages

And everything else that tries to clench my attention so tightly.

I can revisit the stripped down version of my soul without all of that, and it’s then that I have time to breathe. I can sit quietly with the Holy Spirit and rest. I can find the Me that exists without all of the extra, the stripped down Me. The Me that I know I am.

And maybe I’ll remember why I fell in love in the first place.

How do you retreat? With your spouse? With God? Do you find time for it?

by Sarah Markley

Leave a Comment