“Regardless of the outcome, my current attitude isn’t doing any good,” I commented, laughing at the truth of that statement. The funk that had clouded the recent past was not helping the situation. The kicker was, the situation was the same situation as it had been for quite a while. It was just the funky attitude that had reared its ugly head–again.
The high-achieving, high-performing aspect of my personality leaves quite a bit of room for self-reliance. And we all know where that leads–no place good.
The hope of a possible change shed light on the grumpy areas of the current situation. But rather than focus on the God-desired outcomes for the potential future, I started to pick apart the current reality.
Funky attitude + self-reliance + critical eye = no place good.
I like the logic of math, and this math is rather ugly. Payoffs for long days of hard work give opportunity to praise God. Layers and layers of payoffs for that work led to the ugly reality that I am not so humble.
So here He and I are–again. Looking at the payoffs. Taking a breath. Getting over myself. And finally seeing the Light, the miraculous timing of all the pieces that had to come into place at the exact moments so that the accomplishments could be possible. The many players involved in the work from a number of areas, who were all primed for the change that led to the outcomes that brought the payoffs. I was not the magic. I just got to be part of it.
It would behoove me to stand here awhile–and admire His work–humbled at the thought that He would allow me to take part.
An amazing thing happens from this locale: the funky attitude dissipates, the gratitude for God’s provision pours forth unhindered, and contentment reigns in my soul where, minutes before, there was agitation.
I like that He is willing to stand here with me–again. I like that He is never done teaching me–even when I am tired of learning. And I like the peace in my heart when I step back and recognize His hand throughout the process.
Here we are–again–marveling at His glory. I like it here.
By Jennifer Cook, from groundswell ministries
ABOUT JENNIFER COOK
Jennifer is the founder of groundswell ministries, dedicated to stripping away the burdens we place on ourselves and living in the freedom Christ offers....
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Thanks for this reminder that He can bring peace in the middle of all the pieces in our lives! It’s been the kind of week where I needed to hear that again.
All the pieces certainly can pile up, can’t they?! I am ever amazed at His patience in sorting things through with us.
Can so relate Jennifer. Just working myself out of a funkified attitude this week :)
It seems to be “that week” for a lot of people this week!
“Here we are again…” — I often sigh condemnation over myself at that statement. And yet…there’s SUCH Grace found there.
Such peace!
Rich blessings as He comforts you when you’re *there* again…and again…and again.
I, too, find myself in the rolling-eyes-sigh of “here we go again.” And yet, I wonder if He sees it as a joyful opportunity–like a parent who does not exasperate when the child tumbles from the bike and has to “start over” teaching them to balance. Maybe He finds more joy in teaching that we realize.
“Here again” This is me over and over, Jennifer! Lay it down–again! Thank God we have an infinitely merciful Father. All is grace! (I need it all!)
Thankfully His grace is overflowing, spilling over, and flooding the place, else we would all be sunk!
I love the truth that His mercy is new every morning because I used all of yesterdays up. His patience with us over whelms me since these “here we are again Lord times” never end but each time I come away with a deeper understanding of this new mercy. My understanding of the depths of His love for me grows in those times, along with my understanding of how frail I am. Like a loving Father He lets us get puffed up with ourselves knowing something will deflat us sooner or later and there He will be, encouraging us to, as you said, get over ourselves. Thanks for the heart felt post…I am just getting over myself ONCE AGAIN and basking in His never ending love. Praise Him, Praise Him, Praise Him
It is amazing how much more smoothly a day goes when I start by getting over myself.
I like it here, too. And I am so very thankful that He continues to lead me here…despite myself.
Amen!
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