Anxiety
Fear
Sick stomach
Jittery nerves
Sweaty palms
No appetite
Loss of confidence
A need to be right next to my husband or my mom
Makes me reconsider my worth
my sanity
my own self
Makes me wonder if I am fit to be a mother,
a daughter.
a sister.
a friend.
a wife.
a person loved by Christ.
—
Thick fear
claustrophobic
very real
very irrational
yet feels very rational
—
The thorn in my side?
Yes.
—
HOWEVER
—
I have learned so much from this prickly thorn.
—
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
—
Weakness.
It is a hard thing for me.
I am not talking about trivial weaknesses.
I am talking about the weaknesses that bring me to my knees;
Weaknesses that make me catch my breath and afford no other alternative but to pray.
Could those type of weaknesses truly bring strength?
—
Weaknesses – Whether proceeding from Satan or men. For when I am weak – Deeply conscious of my weakness, then does the strength of Christ rest upon me. (Wesley)
—
“Deeply conscious of my weakness”
-THEN-
“the strength of Christ rest upon me.”
And isn’t that what I am here for? To be clay in his hands.
To be completely dependent on him so that I beg him to be with me every second of every day. Because when I am in the practice of begging for his presence, then I can truly begin to be used by him.
To become dead to my own fearful self.
“his power is made perfect in my weakness”
Realizing that truth brings about a humbling realization that I can be a tool which is used to make Christ’s power perfect. Not by any of my doing, but only by becoming an available vessel to him so that his power can flow right through me into someone else’s life. So that their pain can bring them to their knees before their Creator. So that they too will be made weak so that they can be a tool of the Lord’s power.
And on.
And on.
This begins to paint a small, miniscule picture of the way that God uses pain in our lives. To bring us bowing down before him. It cannot, then, be a bad thing.
To remember this when I am in the thick of it.
That is what eases my fears.
Knowing that he is strong and it is good that I am weak.
For when I am weak, I am strong in Him.
And what better place can I be than that.
Be strong in the Lord and in His great power. Ephesians 6:10
By: Shauna Attwood, Discovering Goodness
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Thank you so much for this. I prayed for help and hope in dealing with the same thing the other night, and you’re posting this is truly an answer and a miracle. Thank you, and thank YOU.
So thank you for this….
Since I’m not a big fan of feeling weak, I always need this reminder. I love the quote: “For when I am weak – Deeply conscious of my weakness, then does the strength of Christ rest upon me.” (Wesley) I want the strength of Christ to rest upon me, even if it means being weak. Thanks!
Loved this! “I can be a tool which is used to make Christ’s power perfect.”
YES!
What a fantastic post! Truly! Beautiful worship sprawled right out there–such truth in the hard-telling and bending low to reach the gift. Truly, it’s your worship and you honor Him in the way you share.
Rich blessings as He leads you ever closer to His heart, sweet Shauna.
It is like you are living my life and took my feelings to paper. Thanks for so eloquently giving me a place to output my worry. It is nice to know I am not alone in these feelings, and I am so thankful I have Lord who knows what to do with them and beyond.
Love it, Shauna! What a lovely post. I feel weak so often. You have inspired me to embrace my weakness, so I am more available for God’s use. Thank you!
I was so encouraged by this post Shauna. Thank you for sharing your heart! Looking forward to reading more from you.
This post reminds me of the donkey from Shrek when he’s saying “PICK ME! PICK ME!”
That’s how I feel sometimes with God.
“Pick me!”
I know this verse so well. I have to lean on its truth again and again and again. I so understand each word you shared here. That is so me, too. Thank you so much for your vulnerability and the strength in Him you invite me into through your beautiful modeling of saying ‘yes’ to Him.
Wow – it is like you got in my head and wrote this for me. Thank you. Brave words, and I do appreciate them. Your encouragement is beautiful.
Good post Shauna. I have phobias/weaknesses. It is good to know that God is right there with us in the midst of our weakness making us stronger so we can help others.
Great encouragement!
God Bless ya!
This is beautiful!
Thank you Shauna
I struggle with this minute by minute. Your words and scripture seeped into my soul, spirit and mind . 🙂
This is great. Your words are so real and so helpful. We spend so much of this life trying not to be the weaklings that we are, and this is a good reason to just rest in him and be clay.
Well said. You are brave!
Well done, Shauna. 🙂
It is so easy to let the bring-me-to-my-knees weakness overcome us. But you are so right, it is those weaknesses that give us strength in Him, if we would just open our hearts and let Him give us strength. I think sometimes I feel like it is easier to simply let the weakness take over rather than reach out to Him. I love how you put it, that you can be a tool for His power through your weakness. Such beautiful words to remember and engrave on our hearts!
Needed this so much today. My biggest weaknesses have been more apparent than ever over the past several weeks, and I’ve been having a very difficult time with it. Thanks so much for the reminder that those weaknesses are where God’s best work comes into play 🙂