This has been a long few years for me. Like so many, I’ve been in the throws of dire situations with seemingly no way out. I sometimes look back and think, wow, I can’t believe what I’ve been through, and am still going through.
Pulling the curtain back on my life I get the clear impression that I am embedded. I am nestled right in between a rock and a hard place with little to no wiggle room. This season has formed around my soul and engulfed me.
Softly I hear the voice of my Heavenly Father speak,
“The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.” (Exodus 14:14 NIV)
But in order to hear Him I have had to be quiet and I am not often quiet when I struggle.
When difficult things happen I think it is so natural to fight, kick, fuss and try to change things. When you put your hand in the flame you the pain makes you instinctively pull it back out. I am a fixer by nature. I’m always trying to problem solve and I have not had much success with all the complicated and unresolved problems that loom over me. The frustration that things haven’t changed is the most difficult for me.
But there is something that is beginning to change. It’s me. At times feel like a child who is held tight during a full blown tantrum. Finally, I am beginning to rest out of pure exhaustion in the arms of my loving Father. I have no energy to fight, fuss or even pray for that matter if I’m being honest. In this emerging moment of my life I really begin to grasp that the Lord understands. I have to face my weakness in order to embrace His sufficiency.
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.” (Romans 8:26 NIV)
When He tells me to be still, He means it. It is for my own good. In being still the Spirit of God goes before the Father on my behalf to pray for me. It’s in this act of surrender that heaven touches my soul and I get a sense that there is more to what I’m going through than meets my eye and I begin to wonder.
Perhaps becoming embedded has freed me in a way I had never thought of before. Oh don’t get me wrong, I so feel like a prisoner at times but I’m finding freedom in ways I had not expected. Being imbedded forces me to discover the promises of God. I will either be swallowed up by fear, anger and doubt or choose a different path. The power of God is at work here. Only the Lord could make me have a desire to rest in His promises. Left to myself, I would lose the battle with fear.
Once again, I softly hear the voice of my Heavenly Father whisper the words King David wrote,
“Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.” (Psalm 9:10 NIV)
I would not need to hear these words if I weren’t embedded. I could not know the realities found in this promise if I hadn’t been here.
by Randi Helm