Our twelve year old rolled her eyes at me as I descended down the stair case on the way to my self imposed “Tacky Day.”
“You’re weird, Mom.”
I guess in that moment I had delusions of grandeur, and that was not the Scarlet O’Hara entrance for which I was hoping. But then our eight year old rushed to my side, with arms wide open declaring, “I think you so cool, Mom.”
Yes, that’s more like it.
I pondered their opposite reactions that day. What happened in the span of those four short years when “Cool” was so quickly replaced by “Weird?”
This exchange brought me back to my own tender teen years when people’s perceptions far outweighed the fun of spontaneity.
When the pull of conformity over ruled individuality.
When influence rooted group think and apathy, rather than bold steps towards innovative leadership.
Now as a grown woman, I look around at my peers, and realize that their response isn’t that much different than my eldest daughter. I’m considered “weird” by many.
A few years ago, I had a discussion with Josh McDowell about “the church” as it is today. As I shared my frustration regarding the difficulty in distinguishing the actions of the world from those in the church, and its apathy, he shared this fact.
Decades ago, the most notably quoted bible verse was John 3:16, now it’s Matt. 7:1 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged,” which quoted on it’s own, is completely out of context.
As “the church,” many are caught between this delicate balance of attempting to be cool and relevant, while not being too weird or offensive. Without getting into debates on the varying church models, I turn introspective to where I am called.
If I had to choose, I would rather be weird any day.
I want to live large for Him, but I wrestle with how that plays out on a daily basis.
Christ’s perfect model never guarantees comfort. In fact, He requires sacrifice, and with that often comes challenges, change, and the need for a big douse of courage. Yet, His bridge building techniques spanned chasms of hostility, indifference, and apathy.
I want that! You should want that.
We must look different.
I want to nail my colors to the mast, so that there’s no doubt where my allegiance stands. My desire is to create the aroma of Christ that draws others to the fact that our lives are different, our families are different, and for that, there is only one reason.
So how do we dream those big dreams of creating irresistible influence, yet make them reality?
I am starting right where I am in my own core circle of influence.
My desire is to be known as a friend who guards confidences, and when gossip begins, I end it immediately, and point people to the biblical model. Gossip has such a strong hold among women. Sometimes we don’t even realize we are in the middle of it, and we don’t see the damage occurring. I want people to know that their reputations are safe with me.
My desire is to be a help mate to my husband, and build up the sanctity of marriage, when so many try to derail it. Bottom line, marriage is hard work and half of all marriages are ending in divorce.
My desire is to be a mother who continually points her children to the infallible word of God as the only truth, the only answer to all cultural, political and societal answers. I want to be a mother who loves and encourages unconditionally, yet delicately balances grace and truth when they fail. With their world and life view being challenged at every intersection, this solid foundation is something that takes time, but that can’t be overlooked.
My desire is to encourage women to embrace their role as a Family Manager by sharing creative and relevant ways to live a beautiful life on a budget. (Yes, and many of those might be classified as “weird”. :) )
My desire is to expose the lies that we have any hint of perfection going on in this life. I am one huge mess, and that’s why I need my Savior so desperately.
I could go on and on as I share ways in which my desire to live counter culturally is just plain weird.
In fact, think back to your high school years. Who are the people you remember most fondly? I bet it wasn’t even the “cool” kids.
As I tell our twelve year old, “Know who you have been created to be,” (and then I might slide in something like, “and lighten up, it’s fun being weird.”
Always remember, as His precious daughters, you are fully and uniquely accepted, attractive, significant, and most of all loved!!
Bottom line, I’m weird, are you?
Plant your flag firmly, nail your colors to the mast, and declare it.
I’d love to hear it.
shared by Jen, a woman in passionate pursuit of Balancing Beauty and Bedlam.
Suzie Lind says
I’m so weird… I just had this conversation with my son this week. I told him…”We’re just going to be the weird ones. Sorry.”
Kristen says
That is so funny Suzie!! Love it. Perhaps I could use that with my kids too…
Jen (Balancing Beauty and Bedlam) says
I love that. Were you a fly on our wall. Weird moms unite. 🙂
MynamebeginswithO says
Great post! Thanks for putting your weird self out there. ;D hee hee I fly my ‘weird’ flags high-n-proud! One thing I do that shows my weirdness in all it’s splendor is I send my kids (20 and almost 17) picture messages of myself making goofy faces that have been “enhanced” by the editing software on my phone. Most of the time they politely text back ‘LOL’, sometimes I get no reply and sometimes I get a “you’re weird mom” from my 17 yr old. I have yet to get them to play along and zip me a funny pic back. — God made us weird and gave us hearts for merriment & joy and the ability to make people laugh (well, most of the time anyway). Embrace it, I say. 🙂
Jen (Balancing Beauty and Bedlam) says
That is great. I can just imagine their faces when they get those texts from you, but know that this is what they will do when they have kids, right? 🙂 How fun that will be.
Southern Gal says
You took me back to my teenage years when I’d practically hide from my mama in public. She was so young that everyone would stop and ask questions if I called her mama in public. I began calling her by her first name when we were out. Then she would do things that would embarrass me so much. Now she stands for the Lord wholeheartedly. Some people see that as weird or strange. I hope I’m as weird as she is. I hope my children considered me weird while they were home. (I believe my 10yo thinks that of me now.)
Tracey says
I am so weird and hope I never want to be normal again!
Debbie says
Yes, I’d have to say and my family and friends also that I am weird!
Amy @ themessymiddle says
I’m weird too 🙂 … my oldest niece is now 11 and a major eye roller. When did that happen, smile! I wrote about being weird/brave in little as practice for the BIG earlier this week (http://messymiddle.com/2012/07/09/hula-hooping-as-an-act-of-bravery/).
Kristen says
I loved your post. Love. Love. Love. Sometimes it can start to feel isolating to be so different (“weird”) from others around me so it is nice to see other women here who declare their weirdness loud and proud(ly). I join with all of you. 🙂
Jen (Balancing Beauty and Bedlam) says
Yes, it can be lonely and isolating, but know we are right here with you. 🙂
eileen says
Your words were so timely for me to read today. Yes, I am weird. And, I don’t mind one bit!
DewDrop22 says
I needed this post today! Not only do I love being spontaneous (weird) but have wonderful friends who embrace that along with me. I’ve never really analyzed that part of me, but I think God gave me that trait in order to deal with many facets of my life….
I DO feel like a success with my “kids” – my only son & DIL (30 something’s!) periodically send me texts when they’re in a store and start trying on funny hats!
The down side is that I am married to a man who has no patience or appreciation for that type of “foolishness”. Sadly, after all these years I believe he’s just waiting for me to grow out of this “phase”. Why, God, why?
Jen (Balancing Beauty and Bedlam) says
I think the Lord has placed those great friends in your life for such a time as this. May you continue to embrace that fun side together.
Liz says
I love your post. I remember when my husband and I got pregnant, glorying in this child and excited and honored to have this gift of a beautiful human being to love, encourage and cherish. I wanted to get to know him as he grew up, who he was, what he liked/disliked, what was important to him… it is awesome. What I have admired is his spontaneousness and uniqueness and how he lives and shares it in school since he was young and among his friends and community. His ability to see the humor in things and be himself allowed other children to be freed from pressure and be themselves, I’ve seen this in many of his peers. I am grateful for an open community of churches, schools and friendships that are open to uniqueness and don’t require the “pass” of conformity to our children. The ‘melting pot’ of Canada and the cross-cultural opportunities in Switzerland have given us opportunities to know and appreciate many ways of living; as did the influx of many cultures and friendships to my community when I was a child. We are blessed when God opens doors for immigration and travel to open our eyes to what are the important things that constitute a family and community.
We are not weird – we are real people and real people are created to be unique and be themselves, to recognize how families can be different and that it’s okay, to not be what one person or religion or community expect but to develop their own passions and creativity!
Beth Williams says
My hubby and I are both “weird” and proud of it. We own 2 iguanas (large lizards), he listens, on occassion, to low frequency radio and loves to play world war II games on computer.
One thing I will always do is proudly wear my colors for everyone to see–pray in public, listen to Christian radio & tell everyone that I am a Christian–A child of the most High King–I don’t care what the rest of the world thinks about it! In fact, I wish they would follow me on this journey!
Wendy says
Oh, I have been the weird one too! I just finished leading VBS at our small church in central CA and singing the songs with all the children who attended. I’m nearly 53 & it’s getting more physically challenging to jump & sing along with the kids, but I want them to see at least one adult who will enthusiastically celebrate the Lord with them as King David (2 Samuel 6:21,22 “I will celebrate before the Lord. I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes.”) Plus, it was a good aerobic workout…win-win!
Darlene says
Yay! Your blog just “gave me permission” to be that outsider that I’ve often felt I was! As a Christian who has gone through multiple marriage disasters, I felt like SUCH a failure for so very long, until I realized that I had bought all the lies and false truths about myself – from being a failure to being worthless to deserving less-than anyone’s best.
Now? Well, the learning curve isn’t over yet, but the more I seek out His footsteps for me, the more junk I am returning and I have finally realized that I am uniquely and wonderfully made. So, I’ll join you in your weirdness and have another cup of my own. He isn’t done with this wild and wooly beautiful mess called “me” and until he is, I want to be the Titus woman to those placed in my path, the prayer warrior who upholds others’ marriages even though she hasn’t succeeded in that area, the intercessor for the moms and grandmas who are tired, the sister and daughter who shows honor and respect and love in every action, the mom and grandma who is there for her kids and grandkids without being controlling, overbearing or intimidating. The friend who keeps confidences but no record of wrongs, who freely forgives.
Jen (Balancing Beauty and Bedlam) says
I can’t wait to continue to be updated on the amazing chapters that the Lord is writing in your story. I got chills hearing of your desire to intercede for other moms, grandmas, sisters in Christ, who desperately need others to stand in the Gap for them. Thank you for your heart to share.
Lisa says
God made us each different that’s why we are individuals. I think He would embrace our quirks and weirdness not our conformity per se.
Janice Miller says
My sister and I use the word “dork” to describe our uniqueness. We embrace the dork within and know that God loves us and all of our dorkiness!
Melissa O says
It’s a struggle for me. I love the Lord and speak of Him and His love for all of us…which is thought of as weird. My political views are thought of as weird. My conservative approach to life is weird. Not to mention I laugh obnoxiously loud and am fashion handicapped. I dance with my kids and sing at the top of my lungs with the radio which is fun as long as none of their friends are around! I don’t like “being weird”. I wish it was the normal.
Jen (Balancing Beauty and Bedlam) says
We can be weird together. Until we see heaven, and His perfection revealed, I don’t think, we’ll ever be normal ( at least not how scripture unveils itself, right?)
maria says
Bravo! Well written – it’s encouraging to hear biblical thinking in the ranks of women online! Amen!!
Jessica says
The King James translation of Exodus 19:5 is “…yes shall be a peculiar treasure unto me…” I love being a little peculiar! The things that make us “weird” to our culture can be the things our God delights in the most 🙂
Jen (Balancing Beauty and Bedlam) says
Oh Jessica – I LOVE THAT!! I remember that verse from long ago, but don’t think I have read that translation lately and that is a PERFECT tie into this post. Thanks for sharing.
Lindsay says
I think it’s also important to build bridges with unbelievers, recognizing they too might honor marriage among other virtues, as they are made in the image of God. If we focus exclusively on the differences, we risk an air of self-righteousness (naturally from our sinful nature). Let us walk humbly and remember that we are covered grace as we seek to look a little more like Him each day.
Jen (Balancing Beauty and Bedlam) says
Absolutely – I agree with you 100%. That’s why Jesus, in his perfect model ,was the master bridge builder.
That’s why this post was a call of remembrance to myself and to the Christians who are living apathetically, with no difference in their life. I continually struggle with this myself, but desire His leading on how to be best be a light.
Liz says
Oh, yes, totally weird! And (somewhat) entirely ok with it!
Life is best lived (and freeing) in being totally yourself. 🙂
Thanks for the reminder that we’re all ok, and accepted, just as we are.
Michelle Findley says
That’s just it! There is no “normal”! 😀 I like the thing you said about mom being the family manager and thinking of creative ways to bring fun and life to her family. I was talking to my husband about this last night and I am in a place of figuring out my role as a mom and as a woman of God and as a teacher, friend, etc. Thanks for your post and for your refreshing declarations! You are walking in who you are and it is joyous and beautiful to behold. Sister in Christ, Michelle
Catherine says
Love. this. post.
Thanks for sharing your weirdness 🙂 .
Yes, others find me quite weird I’m sure, but that’s just fine with me!
My personal favorite is when they say, “You are something else!” (i’m not sure it’s meant as a compliment, but I’m sure it fits … along with weird)
Blessings,
Catherine
Kerry @ Made For Real says
If it wasn’t for weird and outrageous laughter my life would be pretty dull. 🙂
susan says
Hi Jen & all! Hey I’m weird too! And I choose every morning to be happy. Which usually includes a heavy dollop of “weird” on top. 🙂 whatever it takes, I make sure I laugh and make whoever I interact with laugh too. The hard cases I’m happy to leave with a smile. I, ,too, keep confidences, and that’s weird. I don’t spill my guts & nasty feelings on social media, or even whine, which id like to many days but allow myself one “darn diseases it’s not fair” day a year. I talk to Him about that stuff. And as far as I’m concerned, weird is fun. Weird is happy. Ill take any weird happy relationship, IRL or blogworld, or social media land, any day. Because weird & happy somehow leads back to Him lifting my burdens. And my weirdness allows me to offer prayer to people I’ve never even typed with before, so maybe He can lift their burdens too. Thank you for your post! And may we all be weird & invite more weird people into our lives & hearts. 🙂
Nana says
My name is Nana and I’m weird. I have two grown children. One is weird and loves my weirdness. One is not weird and dislikes my weirdness. I have one grandchild who is also weird and she loves my weirdness (Thank you, Lord). I like myself and I like–no, I love–other weird people. We need more weird people. Thank you, Jen.
Sue@House Pretty says
Some people probably think I’m “weird”, because we say grace out in public, I freely admit that I’m a Christian, just in casual conversation, and if the last one wasn’t the biggy, how’s this for you, I wear skirts and dresses, like, all. the. time. I just believe in “a girl dressing like a girl”, and honoring God with the way you dress. One thing that has surprised me is, within the last year, I have had several people tell me, while talking with them while getting ready after my morning swim at the Y, when I tell them I’m a Christian, say, “I kind of thought that, because you wear skirts and dresses”. Go figure?!
Judy Snell says
Thank you for being true to yourself and your kids. I am a grandmother at this point in my life but when my kids were growing up we had lots of weird times at our home. One I will tell you about is when my son was about 10 years old he was way too cool for his own good or anyone elses for that matter so me and my best friend gave his a birthday gift he has yet to forget and he is 30 today. We dressed in my mother-in-laws day dresses put our hair in pink rollers slapped on red lip stick like old ladies wear it with boots, glasses and anything else that would make us look weird and went to school at his lunch time right when the whole lunch room was full and sang to the top of our lungs “Happy Birthday” and gave him a cupcake and a big fat kiss on the cheek. Yes, at first he was mad but when all his friends kept telling him how cool his mom was things changed I was no longer weird but fun to be with. It was a changing point in our relationship and I will always be glad I was the weird mom to my kids. They never new what to expect from me and I liked it that way. Still that way today we have fun when we are together and laugh alot.
Mary says
I am indeed very proud to be weird………..different…………set apart. Thank you Lord Jesus for loving me!
Katie says
This really took me back to the days when all I wanted to be was “normal”, to conform in every way, when I strived to not stand out. I found with heartbreak however that this didn’t stop my peers from pointing out my “flaws” and exploiting my weaknesses. I’ve sometimes wish I could tell my younger self that she was beautiful and could just be herself, weirdness and all :-). Now as a grown woman with three little girls of my own I don’t hesitate to show my weirdness, I wear it proudly. From dancing crazy in the living room at which time we all end up laughing or showing my geek self with a love of Star Wars, I let my girls know everyday that they can be themselves. They are all beautiful and special. I do sometimes have my days though that I don’t believe it myself, some of the old insecurity creeps in, but I am learning to put my trust in God. “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (and a little weird) 🙂
Leslee says
My kids think I am weird too! But at almost 18 and 14 they are weird in their own unique ways…they are not afraid to stand up for what is right and what they believe in. The hold their ground for their passions and sometimes I think they are weird! LOL! My son leaves in 7 days for the Marine Corps boot camp at 17 but believes wholeheartedly in it and my daughter already believes God is calling her to ministry. I am so proud to say that my “weirdness” for God is rubbing off on them. Sometimes as moms we wonder if we are making a difference in the world so that they make a difference. During it all I have certainly worn out my knees! Thanks for the post to make us all reflect on how “weird” our families should be!
Jen says
We have 3 boys and they have all told my husband and I that if we weren’t weird, their lives would be boring.
Jen says
We have 3 boys (ages 13, 9, and 5) and they have all told my husband and I that if we weren’t weird, their lives would be boring.
Jen says
Oops, my comment posted twice.
Lizzy says
How I would love to have a ‘weird’ (and wonderfully made) conference/convention with you all!! I’ve always felt like the odd one out (and sometimes that hurts) but know in my heart that I would far rather live the way I was raised to than try to be ‘normal’. Whatever that is!
Thank you all for being weird enough to admit it here – love the Bible references too. Think I’m going to scroll back up and note them down…before you know it they’ll be on display somewhere in my house 😉 Blessings…
Char says
Thank you! This post spoke to me in a beautiful way. In a culture where I don’t fit in, it is nice to know it’s ok, in the pursuit of heavenly things.
Esther says
I love, love, love this post! Thank you! And just so you know, I’m not a religious Christian, I’m a religious Jew! And it spoke to me in every way nonetheless. Spoke for me I should say, you expressed so well so many things I believe, it was a wonderful reminder.
Let’s wave our flags or weirdness together!
Anita says
I am so weird that I lived most of my years thinking I had no right to exist! Time and time again GOD has been telling me that HE made me unique for HIM according to Psalm 139:14-18. HE has lovingly customized us when HE created us. So if we are weirdos, we can rest assured in JESUS that we are not cut-rate.
Anita says
About 22 years ago, I was travelling by bus to College. I was the only woman in a North Indian dress sporting short hair in that bus. A kind gentleman lightly tapped on my shoulder and politely asked if I would step on to the men’s side. I turned my face toward him and he profusely apologized for his mistake. I didn’t feel hurt. I quietly laughed out loud inside.