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As we enter the new school year I’m making a bold commitment: No more unglued mama mornings. I want our mornings to go better this year with less frustration, yelling, and chaos.

I started thinking about this last spring when we had a string of really hard mornings.

One day, as I pulled up to the school, the atmosphere inside the car was thick with tension. Not wanting the last words spoken to my daughter to be harsh, I tried to change the course of our conversation before she headed into her day. “Listen, I love you. I’m sorry we had a rough morning.”

“We always have rough mornings,” she shot back before slamming the car door.

Nothing quite makes a mom feel more successful than a little dialogue like that.

As I rubbed the stabbing feeling in my chest, I thought, “Something has got to change. Each day I promise myself I won’t yell at the kids. But each morning something triggers me and I just lose it.”

Ever been there?

It’s not like we wake up in the mood to get frustrated with our people, right? I mean honestly, I usually wake up in a pretty good mood. But then the stress of getting everyone ready and to school on time makes the crazy creep in.

This one can’t find her shoes. That one needs a report printed and we have no ink. The bread for sandwiches is still at the grocery store because I forgot to buy it yesterday. And to top it all off, I have no cash to give the kids so they can buy lunch at school.

The whining. The complaining. The feeling that I can’t ever get it all together. It all escalates and sends me over the edge.

Well, I want this school year to be different. I want to be like our key verse today describes: “made new in the attitude of my mind.” (Ephesians 4:22-24) The Greek word for “made new” is kaino. One of its definitions is uncommon. I want to be an uncommon calm in the midst of chaos and an example of peace for my kids in a world of pressure. For that to happen, I came up with a plan:

Tell the world to wait.
When I wake up, my mind is like a dry sponge. What I soak up first will saturate me most deeply. If I don’t want to be consumed with the stresses of my day, I must soak up what will renew my mind instead — God’s Word. Even if it’s only for 5 minutes, I’ve got to put the world on hold until I’ve checked in with God.

Remember I’m managing blessings.
If I want my attitude to be made new, I must keep things in perspective. While my frustrations seem big, things like lost shoes and less than perfect lunches aren’t big problems. They are small aggravations that come with managing blessings.

Let my kids own their ‘irresponsibilities.’
My kid’s irresponsibility will not become my emergency. I need to communicate my expectations so they know they’re going to have to own the consequences of their choices. For example, if they wait until the last minute to print their report and the printer has no ink, they’ll have to print it at school or turn it in late. Either way, I can’t own this situation and let it throw me into frantic, fix-it mode. I can let the consequences of my kid’s choices scream, so I don’t have to.

All of this is going to take some intentionality and I seriously doubt I’ll do it perfectly. But I’m excited about trying. I’m excited to “put on my new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.” Which is a fancy way of saying I’m excited to have less unglued mama mornings and a lot more peace this school year.

By Lysa TerKeurst

For more information on the 5-Day No More Unglued Mama Mornings Challenge and Lysa’s new book, Unglued, click here.

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  1. 1

    You said ” thing like lost shoes and less than perfect lunches aren’t big problems. They are small aggravations that come with managing blessings.”

    Love this. So very very very true. While my daughter is only 4 months old, I can already see how mommas can get thrown off by small morning mishaps.

    Thank you for such great perspective.

    • 2
      Natalie Collins says:

      If you younger Moms would like to take a little “advice” from a Grandmother who raised three children with no yelling (EVER!!)…here are a few tips:

      1) Make sure you AND your children get to bed in order to get a FULL night’s sleep…the number of hours depends on the children’s ages…but it’s all around 12 hours of sleep a night…it was ten hours for myself. THAT means turning off everything and having devotions and tucking those precious kids into bed!! You all have to get up much too early (I don’t know what schools are thinking!!)…since ours attended private Christian schools, we had it a little better than the public schools with starting times…but not by much…usually started about fifteen minutes to half and hour later than the public schools.

      2) The evening before make sure all clothes are laid out for each child…do this together…we had uniforms, but there are variables even on those, so, let your child have some input into what they will be wearing. YOU, as parent, make the ultimate decision for what is appropriate!!

      Along with the clothes being laid out the night before, most of the lunches should be prepared and open on the kitchen counter the night before…adding the cold things in the morning, such as the sandwich and frozen cold pack. PLEASE, no junk food (which is fast and easy) for these little growing bodies. You have sense enough to know what is healthy and what is not for your child. They will learn all of this from YOU. I remember delighting in what I could come up for my three that was nutritious and that they would love. There are SO many sites online with suggestions these days that we never had “back then”, so I won’t even get into any suggestions on that…you can search it out yourself.

      3) The evening before go over homework (this should be done when they get home from school after a short “rest” and HEALTHY snack). No junk foods in lunches or at home. Don’t expect your child to come home from school and immediately start on their homework…that’s just asking for trouble…and it’s rather stupid. They need a break, just as we adults need breaks from our work whether it’s outside the home or inside the home.

      4) I learned calmness and a soft voice from my beloved mother (thank God!)…but if you are one who tends to yell and scream, you can make changes. It’s all up to you…and you can depend on our Lord for help! The more you yell, the LESS your children will listen to you and respect for you goes right out the window. This is a fact. Your children didn’t ask to come into this world and into your life. You and your husband decided that. Now it’s time to “woman up” and be the Mother your children deserve!

      I don’t have a bit of patience with excuses from parents…there are none that will convince me. You and your husband need to work together to provide the most comforting, calming place for your children to exist…and that is a peaceful home. If your husband isn’t “available”, you can do it on your own…LOTS of us have to do so. My husband left for work at 5:30 a.m. He had a long commute. So, no excuses, Mothers. You are forming adults for the future who will carry on what they have learned from you. Make yourself proud of how they “turn out”. And remember, there is NEVER a reason to raise you voice at your child. The bigger the problem, the more important it is for you to take a step back, take a few deep breaths, and lower your voice even more!! You are the adult…so act like an adult…a SANE adult!!!

      • 3

        wow, grandma’s advice is so practical…..will start actin like a SANE adult with God’s help & grandma’s advice……………

        Thank you

        • 4
          Jennifer says:

          Thank you Grandma… a much needed tap on my back… I seem to yell & scream at my boy for every small thing… and yes Lydia… will start my day with God’s Word to help me through the day and all the days of my life…

      • 5

        Thank you for sharing your words of wisdom. They are an encouragement! They are words every mom needs to hear. I’m am thankful that I did! I consider your wisdom a blessing!

      • 6
        Anthonia says:

        Thank u grandma! Your advice is just a remindal of my mum when we were growing up. And as a wise mum I do the same for our son who is quite independent with what to do in the mornings when he wakes up.The word of God say,” we if we lack wisdom we should ask for it”. This is very crucial,let us always ask God for wisdom so we can be unique in all we do & set a perfect example for our children . They indeed learn from us.

      • 7
        Anthonia says:

        Thank u grandma! Your advice is just a remindal of my mum when we were growing up. And as a wise mum I do the same for our son who is quite independent with what to do in the mornings when he wakes up.The word of God says,” we if we lack wisdom we should ask for it”. This is very crucial,let us always ask God for wisdom so we can be unique in all we do & set a perfect example for our children . They indeed learn from us.

    • 8

      Words of Wisdom. Glory!

      • 9

        Thank you as I set here in TEARS… I realize that I PRAYED for God to help me in this very area of my life, I have let the excuses of how I was raised and treated in the past, guide my mouth and heart w my children! I DON’T want to act like that with them I STILL remember how it felts…even though I don’t put my kids down and call them names I know the tone, reaction and shortness I have with them hurts! Thank you for your wisdom..and I am so thankful God answered my prayer of finding this blog and all of this advice…tough love WORKS! Not to put it into action! its 9:30 everyone is asleep and I am going to prepare for tomorrow morning!

  2. 10

    I have such a hard time having a good attitude when things don’t go as planned. Yet I too “want to be an uncommon calm in the midst of chaos and an example of peace for my kids in a world of pressure.” And this can only happen when I decide not to let the little things throw me off. Thanks for the reminder.

  3. 11

    Really love this post. Thanks for your honesty about your personal journey. Super encouraging… makes all of us feel “normal.” Normal….. and like there’s hope for us….. that we won’t encounter temptation in which God doesn’t provide a way out… :)

    Thank you!

  4. 12

    This is a very timely post and yes, I’ve been there. Thank you for the reminder that we need to help our kids be in charge of their own time and to be prepared for those forgotten glasses, lunches, etc. :)

    • 13

      I just wonder how to do it with out feeling guilty. I have a hard time with that and definitely need help to change the guilty feelings I have.

  5. 14

    I love that we have to remember we are managing blessings. We spent years and years praying to have children, and when God blessed us, he blessed us BIG. So we now have three two year olds. Talk about some unglued mama moments. But they are such huge blessings. In a season when we didn’t think we would get to parent one child, now we have three healthy, funny, happy kids running around our house. If, in the moment, I could just reach back to that day the doctor found the three heartbeats, and let the little stuff go………

  6. 15

    So feelin’ ya today! It is only day two of school and I had an unglued Mama moment! Not tomorrow, though!!! I am taking your words to heart and we WILL have a different morning tomorrow morning and every other morning thanks to your post. Thanks for sharing your heart with me!

  7. 16

    I had this same epiphany last year. Tired of the yelling and running around, I became more organized the night before, got the kids to prepare their clothes they would wear before climbing into bed and then get my time alone with God in before anyone stirs. It makes a world of difference. It doesn’t always get off without a hitch, but it has made for MORE better mornings.

  8. 17

    You speak my language – thank you Lysa.

  9. 18

    I just get freak out over a up coming spelling test. Spelling don’t come easy for my 3rd grader. Sometimes I feel like it takes “all we got” just to do spelling. I struggle with the small things and wonder …how will I ever deal with the big things. Thanks for your words. I am buying your book. Unglued. Have it coming as I type. Can’t wait!

  10. 20

    Said perfectly – we’ve had far too many of those rough mornings in previous years and I was just thinking I needed a plan. This is great encouragement. I hope you check in again and keep us all accountable! :) I particular appreciate your point on letting kids own their irresposibility. That is a huge issue in our house and I do feel like I’m constantly lecturing. This year, I hope to let the natural consequences do the talking! Thanks for sharing!

  11. 21
    Kellee Bowman says:

    Lysa, I’m needing inspiration for no more unglued momma afternoons! Mornings go pretty smooth BUT it’s afternoon homework that sends me to crazy town!! One doesn’t care & rushes through it just to say he’s done & the other doesn’t want to make any attempt!! Any encouraging words??

  12. 22

    I totally get where you’re coming from! I taught last year and had a lot of those “rough mornings” that had me ready to crawl back into bed before I even left the house. This year, my first in grad school, is also my daughter’s kindergarten year and my son’s first year in preschool. With all the added stress of a physics phD program, I can’t add to it by knowing that I’ve yelled at my kids and gotten us all stressed out in the morning.

    I think the most important thing for me is your number 1: I have to talk to (and more importantly listen to) God before I do anything else in the morning.

    Thanks for sharing :0)

  13. 23
    Jen Griffin says:

    Perfect timing…. Well said!!

  14. 24

    This is something I definitely needed to hear. I’m reading through your book, Unglued, right now and it’s just speaking to me heart. :)

  15. 25
    maddalena70 says:

    Lysa you have just described my mornings….. and you writed down my same intentions better then I could ever do……

    And your book is helping me in a lotg different ways.

    So thank you .

    Cheers

    Maddalena

  16. 26

    A uncommon calm in the midst of chaos! Thankyou for that. I drive a school bus and talk about chaos. In these first weeks, I will have have plenty! Giving my day to God, first thing in the very early morning is my stress release!

    • 27
      Nora Beth says:

      God bless you for driving a school bus and getting our kids to school safely. I pray for you and know its very stressful to handle all those screaming kids. I wonder how you do it. Keep up the great work . We appreciate you very much.

  17. 28

    Thanks for the honesty that you have shared! I will try and soak gods word up b4 I get out of bed to talk to my kids and I won’t let the stress get to me!!

  18. 29

    Adore this, Lysa. And that last one especially, where you say, ” I can let the consequences of my kid’s choices scream, so I don’t have to.” Yes. When my inner helicopter parent wants to hover, I will remember this!

    So thankful for you and your crazy-helpful wisdom. I love you!

  19. 30

    God has been teaching me this So MuCh right now!!! And I don’t have book reports or lost shoes yet. While my husband has been in Afghanistan the last 10 mos and has 3.5 left, I am single mama with poopy diapers x2, short nap schedules, different eating routines. But i have the joy of having 2 beautiful girl blessings after giving our first-born back to Jesus when he was just 5 days old. Even though my 2-year-old could be a poster child for Dobson’s Strong-Willed Child, I know if it weren’t for her will, I would not be forced to lean into Jesus so much. But I still have my unglued days and it’s Jesus and I walking through the refiner’s fire to overcome my failures. The peace and calm He’s been giving me is unnatural to mut still I have some unglued days. I look forward to reading God’s nudging, advice and truth in your book “Unglued.” as soon as I find time :)

    • 31
      Nora Beth says:

      Wow God bless you for carrying on so well with your husband gone. We will pray for his safe return. I wish I was near you so I could come help with your little ones. My son is 20 now and I miss those days when he was smaller and so loveable. Keep up the good work and always know God is there to help you thru anything. God bless you and keep you safe and sane too while your husband is out serving our country. We appreciate all his work too.

  20. 32

    Lysa, I am right there, cheering you on for peaceful mornings for you and all the momma’s starting school. Love your words here. Bless your new school year…..kicking chaos to the curb….yes and AMEN girl. I Know these mornings. :) :( Love your plan!!! Great read look forward to the book.

  21. 33

    ABSOLUTELY!!!! I’ve been in the same reflection mode. I homeschool so my triggers are different, but they trigger the same responses. Beautiful!!!! Thanks for sharing.

  22. 34

    Ha- I thought I was the only one! You gave some really good advice- thank you! I think having the kids be responsible for their own issues (like you said with the printer) is a biggie. I’m not going to be there at college with them when they need help, so I think one of my jobs is to teach them to do things themselves. I also want to try to start of short morning devotionals together again. I always feel better about what they will face that day (and me too) when we start with some advice from God.

    • 35
      Nora Beth says:

      I know its the right thing to do to show your kids that there are life lessons. But how do you not feel guilty? If the printer doesn’t work how could the kid fix it.? they rely on us to do those things. I know they have to learn things too. but I just don’t know how to do this. I would feel bad if my son went to school without the things he needed. I would feel like I failed as his mom. I know I need help to deal with feeling like this tho…good luck to you and pray for me too.

  23. 36

    Our one and only daughter just went off to college. This is the second week. One of the hardest things I have gone through. But with God’s Grace He is walking me through. Placing verses, friend’s etc in my path. Many tear’s but He is there. I’m thankful it is a Christian college. And her roommate’s mom and I are walking this path together.

    • 37
      Nora Beth says:

      Oh wow God bless you. My son is 20 and still at home but going to a junior college close by. He is my 1 and only son too. I love him so much. but he’s a man now and needs to spread his wings more I guess. I just can’t bear to not have him around. He’s doing great so far and will finish his associates in the spring. But then I don’t know what will happen. We want to help support him on to a University and see what we can afford for him. How far away did your daughter go? I’ll pray for you and for her safety too. I know we are suppose to let go, but who said it was ever going to be easy. Just lean on God and your friends.

  24. 38

    Every time I read this story….I think of all the mama’s out there (like me) who are cracking up comparing their own UNGLUED moments with yours.
    We are all human! And this stuff happens!

    I love knowing that with God’s help I can make it through without wigging out!

  25. 39

    Wow and Thank You!!! What a perfect morning to read this!! You helped change my attitude after a “not so good” morning with my 11 year old! Thank You!!!

  26. 40

    Thanks for the encouragement! We are on day 2 of school & I too am trying to have kids own their own responsibilities & consequences! My trouble is it is very hard for me to get out of bed in am because of rheumatoid arthritis(not able to have any treatment because we don’t have medical insurance) & it really frustrates me…I need to make sure I’m not coming unglued with my children because of my physical limitations! Please pray for me to not become unglued! I’d love to read a copy of the book unglued, I believe their are many things in the book I could apply to my life right now! Anyone want to borrow me a copy since I can’t purchase @ this time? I will return promptly:)

    • 41
      Anonymous says:

      Try a vitamin called pantothenic acid (sp?) for your arthritis pain. My mom used it and it made a difference for her. I believe it’s one you want to take for a week or two then take a couple weeks off no vitamin so you don’t overload your system. Hope that helps.

    • 42
      Nora Beth says:

      Tina I feel for you too and know what its like with the arthritis pain. I have chronic back pains from stress I think and arthritis in my right knee too that may need to be replaced soon. I’m also dealing with skin cancer and getting tx for that too. I feel your pain.. I wish I was close to help you. How old are your kids? I would gladly send you a copy of her book. Let me know where to send it. God bless you and help you with the pain. and I pray you can get some insurance to help you too for treatment…

    • 43
      Natalie Collins says:

      Dear Tina…

      I am praying for you and your situation!!

  27. 44

    A lesson I’m learning early! I’ve struggle so much with “unglued” moments even early in my kids’ lives. A few things have happened recently that are really really helping – one, I was diagnosed with PPD and am now on medication. That in and of itself has completely turned things around. I have the ability to deal calmly with situations, or if I feel like I’m going to lose it I walk away and take a “mommy time-out”. I literally could not do that before. Two, I started reading a great book called “When You Feel Like Screaming” which has given me so much encouragement. I’m not alone, I’m not the only mom who has ever come unglued at her kids, and I can conquer it. Just having that knowledge has made a world of difference.

  28. 45

    I’m very excited about your new book, ‘Unglued’!

    My husband has been dealing with a serious chronic medical condition for the past two years, which in turn has led to a lot of financial stress. Bottling all that stress and anxiety about those things that I cannot change, has led to becoming “unglued” being normal operating procedure between me and my kids. When I finally had an “unglued” moment in a ministry situation, I realized that I need to get a handle on my emotions. A couple of weeks later, I received an email about your new book, and knew that God was speaking to me. Guess what book my Bible study group is starting in a couple of weeks? : )

    BTW, our last book was ‘Made To Crave’, which changed my relationship with food, and I am happy to say that I am at a much healthier weight now, and don’t feel that food is controlling me anymore. Hoping to have the same success in the area of my emotional response to stress through your latest book. Thank you for your ministry to women!

  29. 46

    I identify with you every step of the way. I shall do everything for those ugly mornings not to happen again. That is what I am really trying to work on now. Thanks for sharing your experience because it really ties in with mine

  30. 47
    Jennifer says:

    I remember those crazy mornings soooooo well. Such tension, anxiety, such opportunities for growth. Now that my ‘children’ are grown (one married, the other in college) I have to say that I miss those days. Yes! Really! Like all journeys, it was hard but full of blessings and beautiful views of the world. I’m learning to embrace whatever journey God puts me on, and work through the steep parts.

  31. 48

    I was so blessed I want to say thanks once more and to correct the website link. It was not well written the first time. I shall follow your example because this is really a serious problem with most of us moms but I shall conquer in the name of Jesus

  32. 49

    My mother was always uber organized especially with our mornings. She wanted to create an environment of peace and safe haven where we would look forward to coming home to. I’ve tried to recreate this for my children, but I always come up lacking. The good thing, though, is I am always trying.

  33. 50

    I heard someone say “You should get up FOR your kids, not get up TO your kids.” I must get up 20-30 minutes before my kids so I can be ready to greet them and get them on their way. I have a cup of coffee, read through a devotional, pray for a few minutes and get their breakfast started before they even get up. This routine makes ALL the difference in the world for me and my kids. We still have rough mornings sometimes, but if I follow this routine, the odds are in our favor to have a good morning.

  34. 51

    Our kids are grown, but I remember, especially wanting to rescue them when they forget something, but knowing they would never learn responsibility if I kept enabling them.

    After reading all these comments I keep hearing the words from a commercial form long, long ago… Calgon, take me away!

    I also remember that my girls were very forgiving when we had those rough mornings.

  35. 52

    God’s word says my yoke is easy and my burden is light (Matthew 11:28-30)…then why do we always feel stressed!? I’ve been there girl! I came to the conclusion maybe we, as mothers, are doing more than God is asking. Even good deed can add unnecessary pressure, if we are over extended? I have learned as you have, set boundaries know when to say NO. However if we fear telling someone no…then it’s possible we fear man more than we fear God. There is freedom in saying: No thank you, not this time!
    Galatians 1:10 For am I now seeking the favor of men, or of God? Or am I striving to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a bond-servant of Christ.

  36. 53

    Thanks for the reminder. My baby has been teething, and I feel like with the lack of sleep and the crying during most of the day, I’m just drained. But I know this is a phase and it will pass. As a former teacher, thank you for giving your kids logical consequences. ;)

  37. 54

    I see myself in your story, Lysa. Your last point is excellent: I’m a fixer and want to make it all right, even if it is my children’s irresponsibility that caused the problem. I need to let God change my attitude: If my son can’t find his right shoe, it’s no reason for me to flip out. He can go with one or grab a different pair. It’s not like I haven’t reminded him a thousand times to get his things ready ahead of time. Love this line: “I can let the consequences of my kid’s choices scream, so I don’t have to.”

  38. 55

    Thanks for the post, it was especially relevant with the return to school this week…I have had similar thoughts every school year and have tried to “start fresh” every year and tell myself the mornings will be more full of joy and less full of commanding and yelling in the mornings. So last year I started just busting out in a praise song or doing something absolutely weird like juggling eggs to make all the kids laugh when I felt myself coming unglued. I would start to feel like yelling and then just start singing “Praise the Lord, O’ My Soul” or some other such favorite like “It is Well” VERY loudly (and I have a terrible singing voice to add to that) and my kids would start singing with me or laugh hysterically. It really helped change the mood and how can you still come unglued after that?

  39. 56

    Did you use the word “yell” and “slam.” Thank you for exposing yourself and being so real. I have three daughters and have had those mornings way too many times. Times when I have not had it together and became “unglued” and “ugly.” So grateful for the Word to know that there is a different and better way, and so thankful for his grace to sit at his feet and ask for forgiveness. I am with you, no more unglued mornings.

  40. 57

    http://Www.flylady.net says that a good morning starts the night before: clothes laid out, checking the calendar for tomorrow’s schedule, laying everything you will need (including papers) right by the door, packing lunches, etc. Sounds like a plan to me!

  41. 58

    love and appreciate this. honest, challenging, and encouraging. thanks!

  42. 59

    I love this reminder: I am managing blessings. I will repeat this to myself when those inevitable frustrations come, especially on hectic school mornings!

  43. 60

    Thank you for your transparency on this. I think so many of us women struggle with this but feel like we need to hide it versus confessing and confronting with support.

    Even though we homeschool we have many less than stellar mornings. Me yelling to get to the frontroom to start devotions! Is that not crazy?

  44. 61
    Liz Reveal says:

    I love this! My children are 2 1/2 and almost a year old and I see where I am going to have to bring things in perspective even at their age. :) thanks for being a blessing and sharing with us. :) God Bless!

  45. 62

    God never forsakes his sons and daughters :) . I am a homeschooler Mom. I was just thinking what if I made a bad decision? I become so angry that I can’t control it. I know I am sinning and I choose to do it, because I don’t know how to control it. I was thinking I need the Bible to help me and to be honest I feel so frustrated and hopeless that I have lost the passion in looking for any help about this situation. But God knows I need help and He won’t let me down as I am, so it is really good to find this reflections of you this morning. Thanks. Alba

    • 63
      Nora Beth says:

      Keep up the good work and GOd will bless you. I know its easier said than done tho. Is there a church close by you can lean on for help and support. Just reach out and ask. God will bless you with someone or something to help you.

    • 64
      Natalie Collins says:

      Dear Alba….

      Homeschooling is a non-answer to REAL parenting. Your children will suffer from this experience; they will not thrive as you thought they would. I’m sure you went into this with best intentions…it’s a good idea to realize you need to change your scenario, my dear.
      Best thoughts and wishes to you from a senior aka a Grandparent. :~)

  46. 65

    I love you unglued momma mornings! Been there done that. I am a senior now & my children have grownchildren have young children. But what you said applies to all of us. Thank you for sharing. I want to shared your book “Unglued” with others. God bless your ministry to others.

  47. 66
    Angela says:

    Hey! Teachers feel like that every morning too! We’re all in this together! Spare a thought for the lady who is trying to love 28 cherubs like yours all in one go and hoping they learn something at the end of it all!!!!! You have no idea how much a little cupcake or thank you card to a Teacher means – and how refeshing it is to know that you feel just like us on the other side of the school wall! Big love to you all – have a great school year!!!!

    • 67
      Nora Beth says:

      Wow God bless you for your commitentment to your job and to our precious kids. I admire the work you do and know you must have the patience of Job to deal with all those little ones. God blessed you with a gift. Thanks for using it and teaching our kids every day. We all appreciate you very much.

  48. 68

    Wow! This all sounds just like me and my frequent unglued mornings. I seem to start of good then as I wake up each of the three kids, the mad rush begins. Even when I get to pray or read in the mornings, it somehow seems to still get away from me. But this school year will be different because I will make it different. I will do more preparation at night and put the uniforms all in one place. Thank you for this. It got me thinking about doing things in a more efficient way. Be blessed!

  49. 69

    Homeschool them.

  50. 72

    I’m with Heather…get some things done the night before…right after school have the kids empty their bags, get things in order for the next day. Automate what you must have ready for the week every Saturday in the way of lunch foods, papers, ink, clean clothes, etc. There are many moments when we could fit in the tiny parts of an overall plan for the week..do them right as you think of them. God wants our hearts and He knows what we go through…yes, put Him first, always.

  51. 73
    Suzette says:

    Wow, you are so honest! Thanks for that. You offer great encouragement!

  52. 74

    Homeschooling is good quality when the parent is a quality teacher. But it is not good when a parent has little aptitude for teaching. As a trained classroom teacher, I have run across countless children who have come back to the classroom from homeschooling due to not having basic skills for achieving success in middle grades…low reading and writing skills to the point where they need remedial assistance for a year or.more due to having had too many field trips and little focus on what is needed to be able to debrief and analyze those trips, which are: reading prior to the trip to get more out of it, plus journal writing to express thoughts and feelings about such trips. It may be easier to homeschool, but is your child’s future going to suffer due to a variety of.missed components? Research tells us that students hone each other in a classroom setting because each child brings up many different points about a topic that your child would not even think about at home. 25+ viewpoints can really benefit and get one thinking about all the angles. At home, the child gets only his/her family’s perspectives.

    • 75
      Nora Beth says:

      Wow I’m with you Marge. I’m a Registered Respiratory therapist and I know I do NOT have the ability to home school my son long ago when he was in school. Kids need the structure of a classroom and to learn a way of life with a schedule like is offered in school. My son thrived in school with all his teachers and friends and is an only child and is now in college. I really don’t see how most parents that home school their kids are really qualified to do so at all. Teachers have a bachelors degree or more and both my sisters are wonderful teachers. God bless you for all your hard work with our kids..

      • 76
        Natalie Collins says:

        Dear Marge and Nora Beth…

        I couldn’t agree with you two more! There are NO reasons for homeschooling your children…most parents are FAR from qualified. You two have explained it all…I don’t need to add more. Just wanted you to know I agree with what you said 100%!!!

  53. 77

    Thanks for the input of those verses. Each morning, I hated to be soo chaotic or yelling at my teenager son. My son takes his time and says plenty of time but end up being running a bit late. I always prepare 30 minutes early so that won’t running late except my son turn on Facebook, watching tv then I informed him fifteen minutes ahead to be ready. Nope he says ohh mom plenty of time relax, then I turned tv off or Facebook then started yelling at me then running a bit late to drive him to school. So those verse helps me and do my best as I can thru with the Lord’s help.

    • 78
      Natalie Collins says:

      Dear Stef…

      Hate to tell you this, but your situation started from birth onward. Please read my “tips”…I am a Grandmother now and have “seen it all”. Ha!!
      I wish you the best…it will be SO difficult making changes with a teenager, but nothing is hopeless.

      Please have a talk with him when all is serene (NOT in the midst of some tirade). Write out the “boundaries” if you have to and let him know who is in charge…YOU, as the Mother. Period. You don’t mention the child’s Father, so I’m assuming he is not “in the picture”…not to worry…YOU can still make positive changes for you and your son. Just hang tight to your new boundaries, one of which will surprise him like no other. He’ll hear no more yelling…you can’t even imagine what a difference this will make!! Respect is a two-way street…and he’ll continue to disrespect you if you’re yelling, Stef. I believe Facebook and all this new technology will be the downfall of our families (as if families weren’t in enough trouble already!)…let’s not add to the downfall by allowing our children access to the monsters at their command. Set boundaries, Stef. YOU are the parent. YOU are the adult.
      Good luck…and God bless you and your son!!

  54. 79
    Natalie Collins says:

    If you younger Moms would like to take a little “advice” from a Grandmother who raised three children with no yelling (EVER!!)…here are a few tips:

    1) Make sure you AND your children get to bed in order to get a FULL night’s sleep…the number of hours depends on the children’s ages…but it’s all around 12 hours of sleep a night…it was ten hours for myself. THAT means turning off everything and having devotions and tucking those precious kids into bed!! You all have to get up much too early (I don’t know what schools are thinking!!)…since ours attended private Christian schools, we had it a little better than the public schools with starting times…but not by much…usually started about fifteen minutes to half and hour later than the public schools.

    2) The evening before make sure all clothes are laid out for each child…do this together…we had uniforms, but there are variables even on those, so, let your child have some input into what they will be wearing. YOU, as parent, make the ultimate decision for what is appropriate!!

    Along with the clothes being laid out the night before, most of the lunches should be prepared and open on the kitchen counter the night before…adding the cold things in the morning, such as the sandwich and frozen cold pack. PLEASE, no junk food (which is fast and easy) for these little growing bodies. You have sense enough to know what is healthy and what is not for your child. They will learn all of this from YOU. I remember delighting in what I could come up for my three that was nutritious and that they would love. There are SO many sites online with suggestions these days that we never had “back then”, so I won’t even get into any suggestions on that…you can search it out yourself.

    3) The evening before go over homework (this should be done when they get home from school after a short “rest” and HEALTHY snack). No junk foods in lunches or at home. Don’t expect your child to come home from school and immediately start on their homework…that’s just asking for trouble…and it’s rather stupid. They need a break, just as we adults need breaks from our work whether it’s outside the home or inside the home.

    4) I learned calmness and a soft voice from my beloved mother (thank God!)…but if you are one who tends to yell and scream, you can make changes. It’s all up to you…and you can depend on our Lord for help! The more you yell, the LESS your children will listen to you and respect for you goes right out the window. This is a fact. Your children didn’t ask to come into this world and into your life. You and your husband decided that. Now it’s time to “woman up” and be the Mother your children deserve!

    I don’t have a bit of patience with excuses…there are none that will convince me. You and your husband need to work together to provide the most comforting, calming place for your children to exist…and that is a peaceful home. If your husband isn’t “available”, you can do it on your own…LOTS of us have to do so. My husband left for work at 5:30 a.m. He had a long commute. So, no excuses, Mothers. You are forming adults for the future who will carry on what they have learned from you. Make yourself proud of how they “turn out”. And remember, there is NEVER a reason to raise you voice at your child. The bigger the problem, the more important it is for you to take a step back, take a few deep breaths, and lower your voice even more!! You are the adult…so act like an adult…a SANE adult!!!

  55. 80

    Try not having food to put on the table or money to pay the rent or clothes that fit them and the list goes on. What I would give for a typical unglued morning truthfully. Anything.

    • 81
      Natalie Collins says:

      Dear Kim…

      I am praying for Tina…she has rheumatoid arthritis and no insurance for medical care (see her post way above on this thread). I will also pray for you, Kim, that somehow God will work miracles in your life. I just want you to know you’re not carrying your burden alone…there are those of us who will remember you in prayer. Please see if there is a church in your area which may have resources to help you out. They may even work hand-in-hand with organizations where you may find help. There are still some really great people out there! Blessings to you!!

  56. 82

    Thank you so much for your honest, heartfelt post. It is touching encouraging and truthful. I shows me that I deeply want to be a good parent, roll model christian mother. However, I fall short of God’s grace. But, with his mercy and love he will pick me up dust me off and give me his love strength and guidance.

    Thank you for sharing your deeply personal story.

  57. 83
    Aloysious says:

    Thank You Lysa for your guidance on upbringing our children in the best way possible, to Michelle for helping to learn to say ‘No Thank You’, to Marg for the very important tip on ‘Home schooling-its a specialist-qualified job and not every parent’s capability’ and to Natallie for sharing your experiences,which is the best & trusted way of managing problems-’To be prepared for tasks that we know exists on a daily basis’
    I exemplify myself as a dad who even though is busy with work and with uni, i need to understand that the task of bringing up our kids is a symbiotic relationship which we have asked for – and not what God has stumped us with. Its a relationship of giving and receiving between my wife, myself and our kids.
    We need to learn how to manage our affairs as good adults. What we sow today, we will reap tomorrow-our kids will in turn become good parents from the memories of their parents ways of life.
    As a father I might not be able to contribute daily but I must do my bit when I am around. Not take the excuse of being tired from a whole day’s work. Moms too have had a whole day’s work at home, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids etc. We need to give them as much needed a break as is required for ourselves. I not regularly but as much as much as i can, give her the weekend off with taking the kids out and giving her time to herself -just herself whether she lies around reading or sleeping-that is her time/day of rest. We need to empathize first if we want others to sympathize with us for our tiredness and relaxation.
    Thanks again for all the wonderful contributions.

  58. 84
    Stephanie O. says:

    I loved this…too many mornings I am the “Unglued Momma” you were writing about, and I am going to try hard to remember about “managing blessings”: just remembering they need to fill their water bottle when I say to get in the car, conveniently forgetting about homework until the morning before school when they need to be eating breakfast (or I need us to be getting out the door ’cause I have a sub job!), only being able to find one shoe of any type as they’re looking…soooo many frustrations on school mornings, and so many stressful starts to their day and mine too! The change I want to see needs to start with me! Thanks for your inspiring words!

  59. 85
    Kathleen says:

    Thank you so much for you’re transparency. I love it and it encourages other moms. My kids are grown now but I remember those days and, yes, even miss them. Now we have a daughter and two grandchildren living with us so I get to practice still. :-)

  60. 86
    Rene Bilyeu says:

    I truly hope that younger Moms take this advice…As a 63 year old Mom, I am looking back at those “unglued Mama” moments and wishing I had had the insight Lisa speaks of . I know life would be different now concerning the relationships I have with my adult children. Please take note and implement the 3 steps from this excerpt. Your life and those of your children and grandchildren will be changed for the better.

  61. 87

    Thanks for coming up with this topic.mit blessed me so much, i am in a verge of having anxiety attacks because of my daughter’s bickering every morning. She has a crohn’s disease an intestinal,problem and dont wanna be reminded of her meds and foods toeat every morning. It happened to me always i felt being stabbed in the chest whenever she answers back even if i asked for forgiveness. The comments of other moms here are helpful too, also please pray For the healing of my daughter sofia. Thanks and be blessed.

  62. 88

    Well said Lysa! I am an empty nest mom, but there is still a lot I can glean from your timely message.

    Owning our kids “irresponsibilities” is really a detriment to their adulthood. I see that so clearly now that my children are adults. The one I helped the most is the least capable when it comes to pressure and deadlines. Things are getting better for her, but it’s really a struggle.

  63. 89

    Thanks. I needed to be reminded of this. With 2 girls 10 & 7 We have our Unglued Morning Moments. I will begin trying harder to change these days. I know what our afternoon talk will be about today. Lord help us all. Only through Him are we able to make the changes.

    Thanks.

  64. 90
    Anonymous says:

    Thanks–I really needed that! :)

  65. 91

    This has to hit home for most moms out there. Great ideas on how to get a grip when dealing with our kids (or with others). I especially liked you take on kids “owning their own actions and the consequences from those actions”. I take on others problems too and it’s not worth it. Great Challenge, good luck!!!