“…significant figures in the life of faith were fashioned from the same clay as the rest of us…fan clubs encourage second hand living…scripture, however, doesn’t play that game. Something very different takes place in the life of faith: each person discovers all the elements of a unique and original adventure…each life is a fresh canvas…” Eugene Peterson, Run with the Horses
I used to morph into other people.
I hid myself behind a series of manufactured lives.
Being someone else, living out all the good and beautiful things I saw in them seemed better than the vision I had of myself. I was immature, never good enough, awkward, and sad. There was this cloud over me that showered me with lies. This “morphing” began when I met her.
I wanted to be vibrant and wise and mature, all of the things I figured I wasn’t; all of the things she was.
She was smart and alive and I had never met anyone like her. I hated her, but wanted to be her. For years I fought comparing myself to her.
I constantly compared myself to her. She was living out every thing I wanted, and seemingly doing it so well. I especially envied her relationship with Jesus. She always seemed so…spiritual. She just loved God and life, and she oozed vibrance. She could share the gospel in fresh ways and her face lit up when she spoke. It hurt, feeling absolutely small in her presence. Insignificant. A waste.
I was second-hand living, which really isn’t living at all.
Then there was the change.
I don’t remember when or how, but it happened. I chose to be me. Always. Sometimes quieter, sometimes louder, but always, always me. And I never want to live second-hand again.
How To Live a First-Hand Kind of Life
Remember Your Roots
Piece by piece you were put together by the artist of galaxies. You were His idea. And if you know Him, then you are perfect, complete, righteous because of Him. You are in process, and a serious messer-upper (because hey, you have a sin-infested blood line), but He’s got you covered. Be all of you, intertwined with Him.
The combo is beautiful.
Purpose to Live the Story of You
I know that woman says the right things. She’s funny and smart and man does she seem to have life figured out. She’s pretty too. Why can’t you just be more like her?
Because, you’re you, so forget her story and live your own (tweetable). You’ve got one and it loves the unfolding. If you struggle with comparison or morphing to be like someone else, purpose today to live out of your story. Purpose to enjoy who you are; give the world, give me, YOU.
You, me, her, us, we are made from the same clay. We all have dirt on our heart; we all need Jesus. You don’t see behind the screen, the door, or the smile. You see a piece of a grand human puzzle that only God knows intimately. Don’t idolize anyone. It hurts them and it hurts you. Remember the clay.
Keep Your Eyes on the Artist
It’s easy to look up to someone else, I know. But friend, if you keep your eye on the artist, if you look up to Him and keep your gaze focused, His other works will just be beautiful to you because they are His. You won’t need to be the same, you won’t need to compare, you can just enjoy the glory of His grand scale of color and texture and DNA and personality.
You can be in awe of the human puzzle He paints.
“You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I’d even lived one day.”
Psalm 139: 14-16
By Sarah Mae, the one and only