Lisa Leonard
About the Author

Lisa Leonard is mom to two boys, David, 13 and Matthias, 12 and wife to Steve. In between school and work they spend their time playing outdoors on the central coast of California, eating chocolate chip pancakes, tapping tunes on the piano (David) and choreographing elaborate light saber duels (Matthias)....

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(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
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  1. Thanks so much for this, Lisa! This is just what I needed to read this evening. Our vibrant and lively high school senior daughter has just encountered the deepest test of her faith as she has all the signs of depression. Within the last week or so, she has gone from an active and upbeat kid to being very fatigued. Able to go to school but to not do much else, she is trying to make sense of life and is wondering what has happened. As parents we are heartbroken with her but are also fighting hard to find some answers. We know all of the medical routes that we need to go. We are feeling broken. She is feeling broken. Please pray that I/we will have courage and grace to go through this week as we seek medical help and that we would be obedient to take the next steps in her care as the Lord directs our steps. Also pray that I will continue to meet with the Lord and not turn away in hurt and anger as I have a chronic illness that is difficult to manage in high stress situations. Thanks for your words and your prayers. May the Lord richly bless you as you seek to encourage and pray for those in the body of Christ who are broken and hurting.

    • Teresa–I am praying for your daughter, you and your family right now. Depression is so intense and dark. There is hope. I’m praying for answers and grace this week. xo

    • Teresa,

      Praying for your daughter also! May she find just what she needs. May God wrap His loving arms around her and shower her with His love & grace!

  2. We are staggering under health issues, medical bills, & got the notice today our bank wants to foreclose on our home. I lost my job several months ago then my husband had a heart attack (praise God he got wonderful medical help & has made an amazing recovery!) & we got behind. We don’t have family willing to help us (broken relationships–too much to get into here). Not sleeping, constant migraines, etc, etc. We are trying so hard to walk in faith, believe God has a plan for us, and continue to serve in our church & community. I am not sure where all of this is leading us and both of us feel like complete & utter failures. We worry too how this is impacting our daughter. I am so tired. Just someone please pray for us. Pray for us to keep walking in faith & trusting God & helping others especially.

    • Broken in GA,
      You are being prayed for!! May God see your struggles and bless you with hope and health.

      God bless,
      Renae

    • You are no more a failure than any of the rest of us–we are all broken. And when God looks at you, he sees Jesus. You are loved. You are accepted. You are covered in grace. I am praying for you! xo

    • dearest broken in GA,

      there is so much in your note that i can relate to, friend. my health came crashing down 2 yrs ago, w/ was 2 yrs after the real estate market crashed. my husband’s a RE agent, so our family’s entire bread & butter crashed with the market. so to say that when my body crashed 2 yrs ago we were in survival mode on more than one front is a gross understatement. and all this with a young impressionable boy’s heart taking it all in.

      so while i haven’t walked in your particular shoes, i share that to let you know that there’s somebody here in NC who understands, at least to an extent. i understand the desparation you feel, the weariness, & your concern for your precious daughter’s heart. but more importantly, He understands. and He is near to the brokenhearted.

      i will pray for you, dear one. i will pray that the Lord will wrap His strong arms of compassion around your family, & that He will remind you that despite how “well or poorly” you think you’re doing in life, it is hidden with Christ. covered with all of His righteousness. and our Abba is rejoicing over you with singing in this very season that you’re in.

      love, hugs, & prayers from NC,
      tanya

    • Dear broken in Georgia,
      I just Spent time lifting you, your husband, and daughter up in prayer. I have found deep comfort knowing that the hardest and most discouraging situations are often the best opportunities to watch God perform miracles. He has beautiful plans for you! Plans to give you hope and a future!

    • Broken,

      You are NOT a F ailure! You are a CHILD OF THE KING! God will see you through this trial–He won’t bring you to it unless He sees you through it!

      You are covere in prayer today and always!

  3. This was just what I needed to see this morning! I went to sleep last night feeling like I was scraping the bottom of the barrel. I just need to learn to lean on HIM, I need to forgive myself and I need to learn to love myself again!

  4. My husband and I are newly pregnant, which is so much of an exciting and beautiful gift from God. Both of us work full time at the moment and all I have wanted is to be able to stay home when this day came. We really have trusted God from the get go that He would provide when He decided to give us a child and… here we are, no idea how any of this is going to work. We’re scared of our situation financially, and as of right now have no idea how we could make it work for me to stay at home. We have NO idea what we’re doing… we’ve been married for 9 months and have gone through so much. Not only that, but we are struggling with finding a church body to belong to and don’t feel like we can find a home. We feel so blessed to have our new little one coming, but we are also scared and somewhat feeling hopeless when looking at our budget and not having a lot of people to talk to about it who love Jesus. I have really struggled in my walk with God because I felt that He has brought us through so much testing and fire these past 9 months and I don’t understand why. Please pray for us.

    • I am praying for you! Sounds like your in a huge transition which is scary and can be so lonely too. Praying for direction, peace and grace as you journey.

    • Feeling broken today: I’m praying for you. Everyone’s situation is different but when we were pregnant we went through similar things.I pray you find a church family as we have who will help lift you up. I pray for God to wrap all 3 of you in His arms & hold you.

  5. We are being called away from the place we are in. I am settled, comfortable and fear the unknown. I know God has called us to this new place but I am resisting so hard. I know the road ahead is going to be some of the best days and also the hardest. I am working too much on things that won’t matter. Please pray for God to direct our steps and that we would trust Him in the good times and the hard ones.

  6. Thank you so much for sharing this. I am broken right now. I prayed for forgiveness and told God, I really needed to feel his love today. When I read this, I saw that he was showing me his love through you. Thank you. I am tucking Psalm 34:18 into my heart today.

  7. Thank you for these sweet words. My husband is battling addiction and I have had to remove myself and my 3 small girls from our home, at least for the time being. The decision is his as to where we go from here. He needs rehab, big time. Please join me in praying for a miracle and for strength. Thank you

  8. So many people seem to need prayers more than I do. But I struggle this week in my faith as I remember my brother who took his own life five years ago this coming Sunday. His children are scarred, as are my parents and myself. My children don’t remember him. One was three and the other six months. We miss him daily. A happy guy we never expected this. Prayers for our healing are appreciated.

    • I understand. I pray that The Lord gives you peace and comfort. My sister took her own life at about the same time as your brother. There is no pain like it. Her death however brought me closer to The Lord. I know He was with me when she died….it’s like I could feel His touch.It took years after her death for me to let go.i still miss her today and at time still feel some anger especially around the holidays. I still think of her and shed a tear every now and then.but in order to live I had to let go…my family will never be the same. I will never be the same.

      • I will pray for you. My husband is dealing with grief from loosing his twin brother to suicide less than 2 years ago, our lives have been difficult ever since. Suicide is so traumatic for the surviving family. It goes beyond typical grief and deeper than anyone realizes.

  9. Thanks for this Lisa! I love your blog so much and I am so broken right now and I continue to put on a happy face to the best of my ability for my family. But the truth is I’m struggling inside! Hubby lost his job at the beginning of October and it has been a roller coaster ride ever since. We have gone through savings to pay bills, almost had to leave our home, and now I am having to go to work full time to relieve some of the burden. I don’t mind to work its just I’ve been a stay at home mama for 4 of the last 6 years…. So it’s hard. I’m having a hard time. I know I’m not the only workin mama and we will be fine it’s just an adjustment.

  10. Thanks for this Lisa! I love your blog so much and I am so broken right now and I continue to put on a happy face to the best of my ability for my family. But the truth is I’m struggling inside! Hubby lost his job at the beginning of October and it has been a roller coaster ride ever since. We have gone through savings to pay bills, almost had to leave our home, and now I am having to go to work full time to relieve some of the burden. I don’t mind to work its just I’ve been a stay at home mama for 4 of the last 6 years…. So it’s hard. I’m having a hard time.

  11. I get so excited for the ‘special times of the year’; birthdays, Christmas, etc. And I truly do love to give….but I am finding as a mom, a wife, a medical professional, I am empty. I ask for help from God, for his spirit, to fill me so I can give as He wants us to give. And how I want to give; of my self, my God given talents, of His ministry, of my love to others….but that empty feeling is what is left. I, too, am broken, feel unworthy, embarrassed…. that I can’t keep it together. that I feel like this when there is SO much glory. Why can’t I just buck up?

      • Stacy, great advice a God loving woman gave me was to define and state my calling… You and I sound similar in career n family (Except i am teacher, not in medical field) Keep reading His word . Another thing I figured out to stop the “I am a failure” tape was to write down a “did do” list. Write or simply think about all you DID do each day. — Hugs n blessings from another Stacy.

  12. I am also caring for my 10 year old that is in full care mode. She was paralyzed from a spinal cord infection nearly over night. I know how exhausting that is day in and day out. While I wouldn’t change being able to care for her…I sometimes long for the glamorous life. We all know the reality that life isn’t real. Sometimes it is hard to not just fall prey to that and let God pick us up.

  13. Wow, this really hit home with me. It always helps to know other sisters in Christ are going through the same struggles. I’m like you, I think I’m doing great, then fall. Your words have given me ability to focus, not on myself, but on what God wants. Thanks for sharing!

  14. I daily deal with brokeness from choices I made with lingering effects. Pray that God heals my heart. Thank you.

  15. this was so beautiful and I was in such need of this today. On the way to work today I was just saying how I am feeling so broken today for so many reasons. and then I see this email in my inbox. Thank you so much for your words today. they mean so much.

  16. It’s crazy how often I try to do everything in my own strength and end up tired and so very low. I can relate to the changing of diapers in an 11 year old my darling foster son has many needs and although I pray for extra sleep I wouldn’t change him for the world. It is a gift to be his mom. Yet my heart is aching for my daughter who passed four years ago aged only 9. Ones heart doesn’t refill it just extends and the broken pieces are still there just under the surface.

    This time of year is so hard for me it drives home my brokenness, my extended family are so hard to face at this time as for them Christmas is a time to get drunk not celebrate Jesus birth.

    I spend to long thinking of those who aren’t there for me I forget to focus on the one who always is.

    • Hi Sara,
      Just wanted to let you know that I’m praying for you. Bless you as you offer your care and love to your 11 year old foster son. Isn’t God amazing that he turns truly hard service into deep love for our kids. I’m so sorry about your daughter. May Jesus minister to the broken parts of your heart. He loves you so much. I hope he continues to remind you of the people (even some of them unknown to you) that he has put in your life to support you. Blessings to you!

  17. Lisa, I love this post. It speaks to the place where I sit and have been sitting for a long time now. Beauty in brokenness and neediness…it is so true. And yet I still struggle against it.

    Also? I love your collection. I visit your shop nearly every time your newsletter arrives in my inbox. And this Christmas I’ll finally get to make a purchase–yay! My 11-year-old daughter has “necklace with an ‘M’ on it” on her Christmas list.

    Blessings to you and yours this season. Thank you for this post. And thanks for sharing your art {both your words and your jewelry} with the rest of us. : )

  18. I am feeling broken today. I followed the Lord’s call for my life and moved overseas to teach. I have been experiencing difficulties in every way possible. Culture shock, medical problems, etc. Teaching has been stressful and difficult. I feel like a failure. I am questioning the reason that I came here to begin with. I don’t know how I can make it through the end of my school year.

    • Rachel I will be praying for you too. I am praying God’s promise in Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. they are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” Hang in there! be still and know that God is with you.

  19. thank you for this post today. my heart if broken for my 24 year old son who saved himself for marriage and now his wife has chosen to leave him and is with another man even though they are not even divorced. his heart breaks so mine breaks. i pray God will be my son’s source of comfort.

  20. Reading these posts today and am humbled by the burdens so many are laboring under. I have prayed for you all. We are in the season of Advent – stumbling in the darkness, waiting for the Light. Don’t give up, dear sisters in Christ. The Light has come, and He will make all things new.

  21. I wouldn’t say I’m broken but I’m definitely worn out. The past couple weeks have been difficult with sick kids who won’t let us sleep at night and challenges with my oldest’s speech delay and stubbornness. Sometimes when we’re in the midst of our own mess we “turtle” and curl up inside ourselves, thinking nobody else is there too. But we ALL live in some state of mess all the time!

    I think we all need a giant group hug. I’m going to close my eyes and picture all of us standing in a circle sharing an embrace. Because that’s basically what this whole thread is – a giant group cyber-hug for everyone who needs one today. 🙂

  22. I am so broken that I feel more like “shattered”… I have one son who is a senior in high school with some learning disabilities but he is “borderline”. He cannot get much help, nor can he get into any college…. he has interests… but no sure path and he is “blown and tossed by the wind.” He is trying to get a job, but he cannot yet drive because even though he has reached the age and has practiced, we don’t believe that out alone on the road he can make the right choices. It is hard enough for him to find a job, but if he gets a job… then I have to drive him and I am disabled and some days I just cannot leave the house. My older son, who is dealing with depression, had been going to counseling and getting some medication that was working well all through high school. When he went to college he decided that he wanted to drink with his buddies and stopped the medication. Now he is despondent and had to take a medical/mental health leave of absence. He could lose all of his scholarships and ruin his chances at doing what he has wanted to do his whole life. Sometimes I worry that he will jump off a building or something because I cannot get him to the right doctors fast enough. He is seeing a counselor who is good… but he does not see the urgency I do. I know who my son was and is and could be… but now he is just flat and lifeless most of the time. Please pray for God to restore his physical and mental health and for the Holy Spirit to draw my sons closer to Jesus that they might depend on Him. We will not live forever (at least not on this earth as it is anyway !). Thank you so much for being real and letting us know it is okay to have problems… that real people all over are broken and hurting too. Then you don’t feel so all alone.

    • Bonnie Jean, thank your sharing. You can’t make them okay. But Jesus can save. There is grace an it has been given to you. I’m also trying to learn this and accept it. I’m praying. xx

    • Sending prayers for you & your sons… I know how it is to watch your nearly grown children struggling. You are not alone! Please pray for us in return…

  23. Thank you for agreeing to pray. I long to be a wife and mother yet Mr Wonderful and I haven’t meet yet. I gave up hope a while back and then started to find my own happiness which didn’t work and my heartache was deep. Often feel like I am not going to find a man who actively pursues me and I may remain single for the rest of my life. My mind knows I would fine single but my heart wants more. The holidays are always hard for me. I love my time with my family but I would love to be there with my husband and kids. I want God’s best – it just hurt to watch time continue to pass while your home remains empty.

  24. Wow, I guess this is what I needed to hear. I need to learn to have faith in all things and know that God knows how it will end up and it’s going to be okay. I’m struggling with trying to be the best mom I can be while working full time. Also, our church recently went through a merger with another church last week so I’m dealing with anger and frustration over that. I guess in the end I should be thankful I have a church home and somewhere I can go when I need help. Thank you Lisa for helping me see that we all have things going on in our lives, some worse than others, and that if I pray and remember “be still and know” that all will be well.

  25. Hi Lisa. I’m Nina Ruth & I’m broken. Thank you for praying for me! I have longed for nothing more than a husband & family to call my own, ever since I was a young girl. Well, Bible college came & went & while I saw many postcard-perfect couples marry young, go off to the mission field & bear children (and sorrows, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have an idealized version of this longing), this did not happen for me (yet!). The holidays are an especially tough time to be single & this was compounded by the fact that not one but TWO of my male friends at work came to confide in my yesterday, pouring out their own brokenness over women who have rejected them (one in courtship, the other through a divorce that happened several years ago) & though my heart aches for them, it’s tough to always be the little sister & never the object of that “pining.” I feel like Kate in “Taming of the Shrew” (no, I’m not a shrew, LOL!), who had to put up with all these would-be-suitors of her sister, “the fair Bianca” (who turns out to be the real shrew!), while these guys cannot even see what’s right in front of them! Grrrr! So, like Delonna & others, please pray for me. One of the most difficult things as single women is asking for prayer for a husband & having responses of “blah blah blah just let Jesus be your Husband…just give everything to Him & put Him first in your lives,” as if we singles don’t already do that?! So we appreciate your sweet prayers for our brokennes, Lisa! And we love you!

    • Singleness can be so difficult and there are no easy answers. Thank you for sharing your brokenness Nina. I’m praying for you. xx

      • Nina –

        Having lived through a failed marriage, and now 25 years later to the man I wish I had waited for the first time. I do know the ache of singleness, but it is far less than the ache of marrying the wrong one.

        Wait, even though it is so hard, it is so worth it. God has great and wonderful things for you.

        Broken but Blessed –
        Bev

  26. WOW! I love how the Lord does confirm his word through 2 or more witness. I started seeing a prayer counselor at my church because I was battling anxiety attacks and depression. During our second session she read to me a portion of a book by Don Nori called, “The Power of Brokenness”. Ever since that meeting, which was over a month ago, the Lord has been confirming this to me through random devotions, articles and blog posts. This is just another one of those confirmations.
    I could use some prayers of encouragement to help me with battling the anxiety and depression. I already received hands on prayer for healing & I do believe that will heal me. Now I just have to walk out my faith.
    Thanks & God bless,
    Tiffany

  27. Lisa,
    You can’t imagine how much this spoke to me today. My husband and I are feeling broken – by cancer, and all the side effects of chemo. When I read the Psalm in your devotion, I started crying – I had just read the same verse in another devotion. I BELIEVE GOD IS SPEAKING TO ME, TODAY, THROUGH YOU AND THE OTHER DEVOTION. Yes, we are broken. It’s been a rough week – and we are in need of prayer for a positive CAT scan on Thursday – all we need is a small reduction in a tumor, just a few millimeters. That’s all. Please pray for this to happen, to have happened, so we can move on with the care plan. Thank you. THANK YOU GOD.

  28. Hi Lisa,
    Your post came at a very good time in dealing with bad things happening in the past weeks. It’s like the old saying; “things come in threes”, but it seems like in my case its been coming in dozens! I am truly blessed for a great husband, marriage, beautiful baby girl, amazing family and friends. I get down when things don’t go the way they should, but knowing your not alone can help. Someone is always battling something or dealing with hardship. I received your necklace “Feed your soul” for my fund-raiser for St. Baldrick’s organization for Cancer research and it put a smile on my face when you think Monday couldn’t get worse…I smiled as I opened your donation necklace and want to thank you. It’s you as kind and generous human beings that make me realize and hope there are more good people in the world than bad! Thank you and hang in there!

  29. We just can’t seem to catch a break sometimes …. I feel overwhelmed of late with a new move coming up (Active Duty Army ), hubby already gone and needing to get our house on the market, financially strapped until it sells (keeping up two households even though God has already done good things there!), an 18 yo son who can’t seem to find motivation/direction and I feel like I’ve failed terribly, two girls in college and a 12 year old who hasn’t done school in days (ok weeks), plus my own health issues (fibro),etc …..
    Yet I KNOW that mosaics made of broken pieces can be the most beautiful candleholders ever … that’s what I want to be! Thank you for this

  30. Boy was this timely for too many reasons to recount here. Struggling marriage, illness, sleep disorder, work, children … And I fail miserably at all each and every day. I miss my Lord. I miss wholeness.

  31. Beautiful post. I have a special needs son, and am currently pregnant. I am so blessed by my sweet son, but there are times I want to just cry. Thank you for the encouragement. It’s amazing how God meet us right where we are and carries us and comforts us through those moments.

  32. The day after Thanksgiving I found out my partner of six years, and the father of my son, had cheated on me with another woman. I was devastated. I am angry and my heart is hurting kie it has never hurt before. I am fighting to keep my relationship, and to keep my family in tact, but it is not easy. Thank you for posting this, Lisa. It reminds me I am not alone in my struggles.

  33. Today is my dads birthday but he went to heaven in July. My sister & brother in law are in a bad divorce all of our kids are affected by it. And they use to be my pastor & first lady. Haven’t been involved in chuch consistently since they split. I just need to keep myself uplifted but my heart hurts.

  34. i know this brokenness well. as i mentioned to broken in GA, we’ve recently walked through both health & financial crashes that have felt so desperate, at times. my health crisis, in particular, has been an intense dying-to-self journey, which has been very painful. but greater than the pain of death is the radiant beauty of life. the beauty of living life desperate for God — and finding Him faithful. remembering that He’s enough, & embracing the freedom to walk through my brokenness with Him.

    there’s a quote i heard in the thickest of my health crisis that has remained deep in my soul ever since:
    “Every cross is a message from God and intended to do us good in the end. Trials are intended to make us think, to wean us from the world, to send us to the Bible, to drive us to our knees.
    Health is a good thing, but sickness is far better if it leads us to God. Prosperity is a great mercy, but adversity is a greater one if it brings us to Christ.”
    – J.C. Ryle

    yes, just give me Jesus . . .

  35. This morning I wrote a prayer in my journey acknowledging that I am feeling totally disconnected!. I had a life of being loved, cherished, treasured and adored but that ended here on earth when my love, my husband began living in heaven. While I wrote these words this morning, I heard and saw the need to be totally connected in a way far more than I am at present to My Lord. Prayers for peace and calm would be so wecomed. Blessings.

  36. Thank you for the words of wisdom and encouragement. I’m so broken over the loss of our 5 month old baby boy who went to be with Jesus right before Halloween. He had a rare brain disorder and we knew we had limited time, but of course there is never enough time. I face this Christmas season missing him but knowing he is celebrating Christmas with our Lord. My heart constantly aches for him as I try to keep afloat, my marriage strong and a good Mommy to our 7 year old and 2 year old daughters. I read this post right after reading a card from a friend that said “God will never turn against you.” How true during our brokenness.

    • Jen –

      I am so sorry for your loss, I lost my son a little over a year ago to a sudden illness. He was almost 30, and you are so right, it is never enough time. My hearts cry as been through everything and everyday is that God is good, all the time.

      Praying for you as you enter this holiday season –
      Bev

  37. Thank you. I just wrote about this yesterday on our family blog! There is so much brokenness and hurt all over this world and it’s not new. The Bible is filled with stories just like ours. We said hello and goodbye to our newborn baby 5 months ago tomorrow. Sometimes the hurt seems too much but I am comforted by the fact that she is in heaven dancing with Jesus and that the same God who comforted Job, Jacob, Mary, and countless others experiencing brokenness in the Bible is still there helping me today.

  38. I hear so many echoes of my own journey. Brokeness is real. When my son was two I had to explain to him that he was going to need a feeding tube (he has cystic fibrosis). He looked at me and asked…Mama, am I broken? The only thing I could say to him was that we were all broken and that was why Jesus had come. My friend wrote a beautiful song called Whole (you can find it on itunes.com, “Whole” by Olivia Pothoff). Her lyrics capture the brokeness and hope at the same time. Life is real. My son does two hours of therapy a day, multiple medications, and his feeding tube at night. While we live in brokeness and the unknown we are still trying to live…to embrace moments of laughter, silly, and peace. Praying for those living in the midst of brokeness. We are pilgrims on the journey.

  39. As I read these stories above and your story, I realize that even in my brokenness I am incredibly blessed. August of 2011 I lost my almost 30 year old son 3 days before his birthday, to previously undiagnosed congestive heart failure. He had almost passed in July, they revived him 3 times one night. We had an amazingly hard month of hospitalization, but the blessing of this was that we received a gift of 4 additional weeks of his presence here on earth with us. He made an amazing recovery and he was released from the hospital then suddenly passed in his sleep 4 days later. I can look back on the 4 extra weeks we had with him knowing that nothing was left unsaid. My cry then and now is that God is good – all the time. I am brokenhearted as I miss him more than I can possibly verbalize, but I am also blessed in the comfort of knowing where he is and that I will see him again someday and get that huge famous bear hug that I am missing so much.

    Broken but blessed –
    Bev

  40. Beautiful post Lisa. When reading, I was pleased to see that you are using what God gave you. He gave you a voice that reaches a large audience, and you use it, no matter how hard/tired your journey gets at times. You become the voice for many. I too, reach out to others, because I have this growing desire to touch the hearts of hurting women….. I have been through so many hardships in life…. on some days, I would like to curl up into a ball, and not “feel.” God has planted a purpose in each of our lives, and has allowed the trials, mixed within the blessings. When we can come to the point of trusting the Lord with all in our life, we begin to make fruit, that can be harvested to feed His people….

    Blessings.

  41. I enjoyed your post. I’ve always considered the brokenness as part of life. I definitely have had my share and I’m sure there will be more to come. I pray hard and often and keep trying to turn things over to God. I am also very blessed with many things throughout my life. Thank you for your honesty and continue to write so that we may all know that we are ‘normal’. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

  42. What a blessing, Lisa! To make yourself vulnerable is never easy, but I have found it is the best way to be a blessing to others. And you have done that for me today. Thank you.

  43. Yes, sweet Lisa, so true. So much brokenness. We are facing Christmas without our beautiful 12 year old boy. Last Christmas we were numb; this Christmas the numbness has worn off and the pain has grown and grown. Thanking God for Grace today. xoxo, Lovely Lady!
    Anna

  44. I can relate. I’m facing some hard things and some moments, all I can do is cling to the truth that God never leaves. I’m praying for you today, Lisa.

  45. Hello Lisa,
    I’ve only recently discovered your blog & jewelry line on pinterest. I find you very inspiring. I too am raising a child with a disability. She is my youngest and is 11. She is in a wheelchair & has cerebral palsy and cannot self-feed, dress, self-toilet, or write, or read, walk, or sit, or use a computer on her own. But, she can speak and has a vibrant and wonderful mind, and expresses it often! She’s bright, witty, and so loving & compassionate to others. She has taught me so much. I also have two other children to love & nuture: another daughter who is 13, and a job-searching college graduate: a son who will be 24 next month. I hear you for I am drained also. My husband is the greatest father, and I am extremely thankful for that, but our marriage has been strained and crumbling for years (together for 19 yrs, married for 15). I try to find the beauty in life, because there is so much and I am very blessed in so many ways, but it is tough some days. I enjoyed the honesty of your post. PS ~ I love your style (what I wore Wens.) and hope to jump start some zing to my boring wardrobe curtesy of your inspiration. Oh, I also have naturally curly hair…at 44, I am just learning to embrace it! Styling it is another story… All the best to you!

  46. Thank you so much for this beautiful post. That is one of my very favorite bible verses.
    I have a request and a question.
    First, will you please pray for my son? He is 17 and struggling in so many ways. It is heartbreaking to watch. Being a parent of a troubled teen is so, so difficult for me.
    Thank you for praying for him!
    My question is for Lisa. You had a cross necklace that I just loved that was made of small flowers(?). Is it still available anywhere? I haven’t been able to find it. Thanks!

  47. I have a cousin who has already had one child and due to her mental disorders was stripped of her parental rights. Her Aunt (which is also my cousin) adopted the child and who is now a thriving toddler.

    She has recently had another child whom I truly believe was placed by God for me. I love this precious child oh so much that it breaks my heart to be apart from her. The child’s birth mother currently has guardianship of the child and if the mother’s rights are again taken away from her I want to adopt her. I’m so madly in love with her and am trying to get everything in order so that as I begin to apply for my foster care licensure all my I’s are dotted and my T’s are crossed.

    I have been broken many times over the past few weeks in preparing myself for this long journey ahead and to know that at the end of this I may end up without this sweet, sweet girl. The thought that she may not be mine is almost too much to bear at times.

    • rather than think about dotting your i’s and crossing your t’s think perhaps that God put this child in your path to teach you how to help your cousin be a better person and parent. Perhaps your faith could be used to strengthen her, to provide her with home/help/support. i do understand that this is not always possible, but surely God would want you to help support her (the natural mother) first before you repeat your cousins actions by taking away her children.

      I say this knowing that although I was left with my parents, it wasn’t always a pleasant/unpleasant experience, but only the journey that God put before me to make me a better person. Perhaps if my parents had support, I wouldn’t have had such a broken childhood. I learned from their mistakes.

  48. “Sometimes with all the beautiful photos we put up on our blogs, it’s easy to think that someone’s life is perfect or charmed.”

    This is *so* true. And it’s the main reason I have a love-hate relationship with blogging and Facebook. But the grass is always greener, right? I try to blog honestly, but sometimes I feel like people don’t want to hear that. I usually end up feeling ungrateful for all the wonderful ways He is blessing my life.

    I’m feeling a bit broken and could use some prayers about my work. Six months ago I quit my job and risked a lot so I could do what I felt like He was calling me to do, but it’s not working out so great. I’m beginning to think I misunderstood somewhere.

  49. I have issues with depression, add, self esteem. But in the mist of these feelings, I know that God is there for me, carrying me through! He has carried me through many times.

    I would like prayer for some family situations. For healing, forgiveness, for some to understand God’s grace.

    Thank you!

  50. I can identify with this. I am feeling spent – like a failure today in my mothering. I am hormonal – in the throes of PMS – so I just feel downcast and badly. We just moved to a new state, we’re all transitioning and I’m battling some loneliness. I have great days and I have some low ones, too. I KNOW I can’t fix myself. I need God daily. Prayers are more than appreciated.

  51. Hey lisa, I think the fatigue thing is more common than you think, I have 4 kids and two jobs( nursing so I work really strange hours) anyway, I will be going strong then just crash, I can sleep,for days, I’m tired all the time. I just give in and sleep, luckily I have very understanding children and a great hubby that lets me sleep. For some reason my best sleep is from 9am to noon, I stopped feeling guilty years ago, I need the sleep, so I don’t think your alone, your a full time caregiver which is exhausting and your doing gods work, you should be so very proud of yourself!

  52. Lisa, sending prayers for you and your family, and for all the people here dealing with brokenness… I’ve been a fan of your jewelry since I first discovered it. I had no idea what you were struggling with for your son… as you say, the lives of others seem so happy & normal from the outside.

    I have been feeling lost & broken myself… struggling with overwhelming anxiety & depression to the point of being physically ill and fearful for my long term health.

    I would greatly appreciate your prayers for my emotional & physical well being… and especially for my two sons, who are struggling with finding jobs and finding their way in the world, as well as for my partner, who is starting a new business venture to provide for our economic future and reduce our economic stress.

    I, too, am surrounded by broken people, friends & neighbors, dealing with losses of husbands, sons, & friends. Praying for and supporting all of them has left me totally drained.

    Thank you for your prayers, and blessings to all of you…

  53. Hi Lisa, thank you for sharing your feelings with us. About 4 years ago is when our “perfect” little world became not so perfect. Our son was diagnosed with Crohns disease, which is inflammation of the colon, it also brings inflammation to other parts of the body. He has horrible joint pain in his hips, back and knees. He is 19, but walks like an old man. The doctor wants him to start Humira (a drug thats suppresses the immune system) which is supposed to stop the inflammation. Jake is terrified to start this drug…..the side affects are numerous, and the “black box” warning doesn’t help. Jake said he’s too afraid to take it. I wish we could get an “answer” on what to do. Then our daughter recently started breaking out in hives/ welts…..she is 12. I think it may be stress from school, but we do have a appointment this Thursday at the allergy doctor. I myself do not handle stress at all well. my doc is running thyroid tests because some abnormal readings came up on my bloodwork. UGH, I am stressed beyond belief. We can sure use some prayers. It’s so hard seeing your children sick. My mind is constantly thinking about my kids 24/7.

    Thank you so much!!!!! hugs to all and my prayers are with you also <3

  54. Thank you so much for your words of wisdom. I feel broken in so many ways this week. Being a single mother, trying to make ends meet, there is this trap that I put to much faith in my own strength. Instead it is so healing to know that God loves us the way we are. I don’t have to put up a brave face: He loves me and comforts me in my brokenness. Thank you so much for reminding me.
    Warm Greetings from the Netherlands

  55. I can relate to brokenness. This past year and a half I have been walking through breast cancer treatments and God has had to break many things loose that I have been holding onto tightly. It is in that breaking apart, the shattering of lies believed, the crumbling of my pride that God is able to sift through the broken parts and put me back together His way. In this journey I have lost 40 pounds, received new boobs, new hair and new outlook and everyone says it looks good on me……..from the outside. They could not see the brokenness going on on the inside. I am still healing on the inside and can feel that but nobody else can see the broken pieces there. Trusting the process of God’s handy work, His mending, His putting me back together has been the biggest part of the sifting. Every day we walk closer toward heaven’s door, broken, torn apart, ripped to shreds and wretched with sin, yet He loves us still, He wants us so and He can put each broken piece into place where it belongs. Creating a new vessel for Him.
    Thank you for this reminder that even in our brokenness we are complete in Him.
    Amen
    Kindest regards,
    Barbara†
    ps…..hoping to see you again at Blissdom in big Dallas. Coming to my neck of the woods?
    I will be there. I had the booth Slumby.com across from you at the Market. Hope we can do that again.

  56. I can relate to the brokenness not in the same ways, obviously, but the last couple of years have broken me apart to the point that most days I don’t know that I’ll be able to put myself back together. My husband and I went through fertility treatments for the last couple of years as we so desperately want to be parents and were ultimately unsuccessful. Then we began working on adopting which is so expensive and stressful as you spend so much time and energy proving that you’re worthy of being a parent when there are so many out there who have proven through their actions that they are not. My grandmother died this fall and she was more a mother to me than my actual mother and I was devastated. Within a week of her death, I lost my job as a graphic designer and have had to take a part time job that I have done the very best I can at but come home in pain due to the joint issues that I have. This job also doesn’t pay very much and we’ve had to put adoption on hold as the money is too tight and I don’t have the time and energy to put into the process and I just feel so hopeless on most days.

  57. I have been severely depressed for over a year and every church I’ve gone to in my area, the leaders have pretty much shunned me and told people not to pray for me or even be around me because I am “negative.” As a matter of fact, they have said that “God said not to help” me. I thought they would battle with me in prayer; I thought that the strong would bear the infirmities of the weak, but the only thing I’ve been receiving is hatred and mockery from the church. Unless you’ve been in this place you will not understand this place. And they say that suicide is not the answer but when you’re being treated like you don’t matter everywhere you go, there comes a point where a person would rather be dead. I am speaking from my own life experiences. I’ve given up on the church and want nothing to do with it. After praying for so long and crying out to God and still receiving no comfort or help, I no longer believe that God cares anything about me.

    • Oh friend how I understand! I’ve battled extreme depression for 10 years and what has hurt the most has been some responses from church leaders. But me and you, when we cannot find compassion in others, need to go straight to God. He punished His Son on our behalf because of His great love for us weak ones. Jesus left his treasures in heaven to make the weak strong. We can hold on to Him. He will not shame us…He stands up for us. Hang in there my friend. You are not the only pilgrim waiting for full redemption…when Jesus will fix what is broken and there will be no more sickness, sorrow, or tears. Keep hanging on…He is faithful and will complete what He has begun.

    • Sweetie, don’t give up on finding a church “home.” It took me all my life (I’m 46) to find one where my family & I were accepted, welcomed, & loved (“warts” & all). I never really understood how important being in community with other believers was until we became part of our church “home.”

    • Beyond Broken,

      You are being prayed for here and now@ People just don’t understand depressiona and how it affects people. They get scared, when all they need to do is love on the person like God.

      I pray you can find a nice small church full of loving, caring people who want to pray for you and help you heal! God will see you through this trial!

  58. I have experienced God’s love and grace on a whole new level this past year as I continue to adjust to my 56 year old husbands diagnosis of progressive dementia. God has helped us both focus on the small moments in each day that bring us true joy!

  59. I have been broken some this season of my life. My aging dad went through skin cancer, depression, stomach upsets, etc. But prayer and lots of it got him through all that. Now he feels much bette and more like himself.
    That has helped me to heal.

    I pray for each of you here today! God heal thses woman and help them deal with their trials and day to day lives. Shower them with your love, grace & mercy AMEN!

  60. Lisa, you are such an inspriration! I admire you for all you do for your family, friends, and loved ones. What a giving soul!

    Although I am so blessed to be physically healthy, my mental health is challenged with anxiety and depression. I have a wonderful drs. in my life, although the reality is I still struggle. I pray for healthy, supportive friends who care for me unconditionally as I continue to learn how to lead a more fulfilling, productive life.

    • Diane – My prayers are with you as I have the same struggles. My hope is that someday people will understand and realize how devastating these issues are to live with and they are not curable. All we can hope for is good doctors and the love and care of the Lord. God bless.

  61. My sister and I are broken and crushed. Our Dad is very ill with cancer. We’ve already lost our Mom to cancer.

  62. I am broken in my marriage, my husband is a veteran and since his return from war our life and marriage has beeb tainted with a lot of darkness. I love my husband and I know he loves me but we keep hurting each other and I am afraid there might be a going back.

  63. Thank you so much for offering to pray for me. As with so many other people, I have a long-term health issue that is so much harder to handle with the extra activities and stress of the holiday season. I pray for you and your online ministry here-please pray for strength,hope and peace for me and my family if you would be able. God’s blessings to you and yours…Merry Christmas!

  64. I too feel brokenness. My daughter is special needs and somedays I start to worry if I will be able to meet all her needs. Then I look at my friends with healthy kids and get upset they don’t spend so much time doing all the “extra” I have to do. I’m ready for heaven where everyone will truly be whole!

  65. This is a repsonse to Jackie whose son has Crohns. My 12 year old son was diagnosed at age 8, and has been on humira for 2 years. It was a difficult decision, but he has done so amazingly well on it.
    I have such a love-hate relationship with the drug, but give it to the Lord everyday and try so hard to trust that he will protect his body from the potential side -effects.
    I really understand the fear and anxiety around the health of your child. It basically incapacitated me in the beginning and I still struggle every day. It sometimes feels like a literal battle to keep God’s truth in my mind and heart.

    But God has a beautiful plan for our boys. I will pray for his peace and wisdom and comfort to envelope your family.
    lots of love

  66. I know I am late in submitting my comment but I really feel compelled to do so even now. This year has brought me both great joy and great sorrow. In February I gave birth to the most amazing baby girl. After my labor and delivery w/ my son of 31 hours and his birth leaving me sooo empty due to the circumstances surrounding it and then not being able to connect w/ him for over a year this birth was absolutely perfect. My pregnancy didn’t go w/o hitches as I had an infection that threatened to possibly terminate the pregnancy or cause her to come early so pregnancy was twisted w/ worry. But then on this amazing day in less than four hours from start to finish I was able to birth this amazing girl in the water in my own bedroom w/ just my husband and my two midwives attending. It was such an intensely emotional and intimate experience. I held her while she was till attached to me and looked into her eyes and we had an immediate connection. She is such a beautiful little girl. In September she contracted pertussis and almost died numerous times. I have never prayed so hard in my life as I watched her turn blue and teams of nurse come in to give her oxygen and suction out her little mouth. I watched her heart rate drop to 45 (normal is around 150) and someone I didn’t even know lifted me that night in prayer – I am sooo eternally thankful. She was in the hospital 12 days. We are still dealing w/ the aftermath of visits to the pulmonologist as she still occassionally has sleep apnea. And we are doing what I hope to be a final sleep study this Thursday which makes me want to cry as through all of this the only complaint this precious child ever had was when we did the sleep study and she screamed every time she woke it was heart wrenching. I pray this study leads us to the end of this journey and that God grants her health from here out. That would be a most wonderful blessing. We however are now struggling greatly financially as well and it is a huge burden for us. We have many creditors threatening law suits and are in the same position as some of you above. This w/ the worry of my now 10 mo. old leaves me sooo overwhelmed. On top of this my 3 year old is definately feeling like he’s no longer important. Every time someone tells him they can’t right now he replies w/ no one loves me and honestly w/ the way the rest of my family is and the things they jokingly say to him (he has no idea they are joking) I think this is a true feeling for him. He also constantly says he’s a bad boy. I want to cry. He’s a great boy, a challanging boy due to his age and personality, but a true blessing. I fought so hard to get him here and then to help him and connect w/ him and now he feels alone. I sometimes escape on the computer as it allows my brain space away but i’m ignoring other things to do that. Why? Why can’t I just face all this head on? Why can’t I focus on giving my son the loves he needs and t=my daughter the healing she needs. Why can’t I just embrace that? Because I feel like I can’t do enough, what I do isn’t good enough, that I am horribly inadequate. These kids are truly here by grace alone and I pray that grace carries them through life and they always know they are special and loved sooo much. And I pray that they will always know that their mama fights for them daily and gives everything she has to make them feel loved.