A letter to my niece…
Sweet Megan,
Oh my goodness, you are so grown up already. I remember holding you as a tiny baby when I was pregnant with David. I’ve loved watching you grow, getting to know your sweet spirit and seeing how God is already working in your heart.
As you know, I grew up as a twin, too. I was one part of a set of two. It was she and I–always together, constantly being mixed up, laughing over silly things and sometimes driving each other crazy.
Being a twin was mostly wonderful. I had my sister beside me on the first day of school. She made friends more easily than I did and I depended on her to help me navigate new situations. Having her next to me made scary things easier.
When we were ten years old, she shaved her legs. She told me she couldn’t believe how smooth they felt. It seemed so grown up. So, of course I couldn’t wait to shave my legs too!
In the afternoons we practiced drawing for hours, listened to our favorites songs on repeat and quoted movie lines together. No one knew me better than my twin sister.
And because we were always grouped together, I compared myself to her.
I noticed that her hair was a little curlier, her teeth were a little straighter and her grades were a little higher.
Of course, I didn’t keep a literal list of our differences, but I kept a list in my head. And I worried that I wasn’t as special as she was. I knew I was loved, but a question kept nagging at me, was I as good as my twin sister? As I compared myself to her, I wasn’t certain.
One day I realized something simple but life changing. Maybe I had always known it, but I understood it for the first time.
My soul was my own.
I shared many things with my twin sister, clothes, a bedroom even the same blue eyes–but my soul was mine. It was created by a loving God, just for me.
My soul made me, ME!
I didn’t need to compare myself to anyone else. I didn’t need to have perfect curls or be the best at drawing or make friends as easily as she did. I just needed to see myself the way God sees me. From the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and even my soul, every part of me is fearfully and wonderfully made.
You are amazing, Megan. Just because you’re YOU.
Psalm 139:14 {NIV} I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Leave a Comment
Kimberly says
What a sweet gift you’ve given your niece:) I’m not a twin, but I still needed to hear these words today–my soul is uniquely my own. Thank you!
lisa leonard says
I needed to hear these words again today. It’s so easy to compare ourselves to others. xx
Megan E says
I had to comment…..my name is Megan so it struck me when the message arrived in my inbox. I love how God uses these things to speak to us just where we are. I’m a 40 year old mom to 2 adopted Chinese daughters, living abroad- very far from that precious young swimmer twin named Megan…..BUT GOD and HIS WORD are useful to even me…this Megan. Thank you for sharing!
lisa leonard says
That makes my heart happy. Hugs to you!
Bomi says
Aww. Thank you for sharing! Psalm 139:14 is one of my favorite Bible verses to read and to share. What a wonderful reminder:)! We are made fearfully, wonderfully, and lovingly:), as I like to add. God sees each of us as individuals. God knows us by name. He knows our secret thoughts. God wants the best for us. Thank you Lord! Thanks again for sharing:)! God bless everyone ~
lisa leonard says
Psalm 139 is so important to me., too. Our oldest son has a disability and when he was born, I clung to these verses. xo
Bev Duncan@ Walking Well With God says
Part of your being fearfully and wonderfully made is your ability to encourage others through your writing. We each have our own unique set of gifts that no one else possesses. Thank you for using yours well and for sharing…
Blessings,
Bev
lisa leonard says
Thank you Bev!
Sherry says
Thank you for your words. I know as a younger sister, older sisters can seem the ideal and it’s easy to feel not good enough when comparing. Yet it is so important we know that God has made us different, but equally valuable, because He has a different purpose for each of us.
Lucille says
Thank you. I have two older sisters and even though my sister next to me is 4 years older than me I was always compared and sometimes mistaken for her when teachers would call me by her name instead of my own. Always made to feel I was never good enough. I remember when I was in first grade and the second grade teacher kept calling me “Sandra” instead of “Lucille”. In a tone of voice she didn’t like I finally said, “I’m not Sandra I’m Lucille!” My punishment was to miss recess and have to stay inside with my head down on my desk.
I know that verse of scripture but I could not personalize it to believe that God loves me just because of who I am, my soul included.
Thank you so much!
lisa leonard says
I think you’re teacher should have to miss her break–not you! Hugs to you Lucille!
Anne says
I have a twin sister too…..and I TOTALLY get everything you said here. We have lived within 3 miles of each other all our (63) years (except when she went away to school)…still talk almost every day…still dress alike (usually not on purpose), act alike, think alike, talk alike, get mixed up by others…..and still best friends! Thanks for sharing
lisa leonard says
Ah! So fun! I am so thankful to be a twin. xo
Krista says
I have baby twin girls and I so want them to grow up close, but as individuals too. Thank you!
lisa leonard says
Yes! I love that. They’ll have a dear friend that knows them so well, but they’ll have to learn who they are, apart from their twin. So beautiful. xo
Susan G says
An interesting insight for those of us who are not twins…but we too share some of these same ‘thoughts’ about comparing ourselves to others. This is a special letter to your neice…but what about something special for her twin. I would like to see her photo as well, when you post a letter to Megan’s twin. 🙂
Thanks for writing this!
Susan G.
lisa leonard says
I wrote a letter for Clara and you can read it here. xo
http://www.lisaleonardonline.com/blog/thoughts/finding-beauty/for-clara
Paula McLane Jennings says
AWESOME! SO AWESOME!
Michelle Pohl says
I have 3 girls – no twins. However, I enjoy getting to know each of their differences and likes. On the days I get it (mothering) wrong, I am overwhelmed with joy at how quickly they forgive me once I admit my mistake.
elissa says
So interesting! My twins are 9 and the bestest of giggly girl friends. I have always been jealous of their friendship, and never even considered the dark side of having someone “almost” just like you. I’ll be sure to pay attention to that as they enter the teen / tween years…
thanks!
Beth Williams says
I am one of 4 girls–the youngest. Each of us is different in soo many ways. It can be oh so easy to say”I’m not as smart as___” or “I’m not as outgoing as___”. God made each of us to be unique and wonderful. He created us for different reasons.
We must realize that we are Fearfully & Wonderfully made by the Creator of the Universe and Glorify him with our talents!! 🙂
Em says
This resonated… I’m an identical twin and for coming two years have endured the heartbreaking rejection by my twin…. which she, a faithful Christian like me, does in the name of God. I think we both knew we had to find our own selves after closeness became codependency… I wish there was a way besides severing our twinliness. I just keep praying….