Last week, I shared some pictures and a video about the “new to me” spring outfits I purchased at a yard sale and thrift stores. I sat outside on my porch, nervously hit the “record” button and welcomed my readers in on some fun, albeit superficial “girly” thoughts regarding my most recent Frugal Fashionista finds. I included a few tips on how I dug through the “trash” to find my treasures and just chatted away.
Certain topics breathe life into people. You can tell it in their pitch and tone of voice, even the way their hands start moving.
I light up with a meaningful discussion about worship or Kingdom purpose ministries, but approach me with a good yard sale story or share that unique trash to treasure find that you rescued from the curb, and I’m yours for hours. I’ve even been known to do my infamous happy thrifting dance to celebrate stories of the Lord’s provisions through His most unexpected ways.
So when I fished into my comment box on the afore mentioned Frugal Fashionista post and read something to the effect of, “You are the most self-confident person…that I’ve ever met,” (even though we hadn’t), my heart cringed and I went back to view the video again.
I mean, I was just talking about my $1 yard sale dress. Yes, maybe I got a little excited, but did it come across wrong? I knew I should have edited it.
In college, an assignment pertaining to life goals tasked us with creating our own epitaph. I can guarantee that self-confidence is not something I included with how I wanted my legacy to be remembered.
How can such a small sentence in a fashion post me send me spiraling into an imaginary conversation with this reader I’ve never met? It had been one of those weeks.
“Oh sweet blogging friend, who thinks I am self-confident, come sit and have lemonade with me on this porch. I need to get this off my chest. I am struggling, a lot.
Do you know that I can barely keep my head above water this week, which is not good when trying to prepare for 40 (in)RL women coming to ones home on Saturday? I’ve even stopped writing to-do lists because they aren’t geting done? I have five loads of clean laundry heaped on my sofa and another ten dirty loads overflowing from our teen boys hamper, and yes, it’s spilling across half the bathroom floor and they are just stepping on it.
A few months ago, I launched this helpful blog called 10 Minute Dinners, but I haven’t posted for weeks because it’s been that long since we’ve had a full-fledged family meal. Our kids crazy sports schedules are nearly doing me in, and I am the blogger who writes about “fighting for your family meal time and savoring the simple moments.”
If we’re getting heart honest, I’ve seriously considered stepping down as an (in)courage writer. I get teary eyed just thinking about it, but I just can’t keep up with these dynamic women anymore. They share their beautiful prose and write their wonderful books, and me, I just want to string sentences together with words like, “Woot, Woot, you can do it, precious momma!” or “Sweet, you cut up your first credit card. (Fist pump) Way to take those baby steps towards debt free living.”
And then my imaginary conversation lulled and scripture came to mind.
Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
Oh yes, I needed that simple reminder, that simple truth. All God’s promises are true, and He has begun a good work.
There’s something about being so in tune with ones own depravity, that I am that much more aware of how deeply and thoroughly I need a Savior.
So am I confident?
I sure am, yet I realize that I may not declare it enough.
- I am confident that I was created in His image and my worth, my value is found in Him.
- I am confident in the gifts the Lord has given me and my desire is to use them for His glory, but I am also confident of many areas with which I struggle and desperately ask Him for help.
- I am confident that in His eyes, my status never changes, and as a blogger, I cling to that.
- I am confident that even through senseless casualties, brain tumors, long-term unemployment, marital discourse, rebellious children, or any other number of circumstances, He is the same yesterday, today and forever. He proves it again and again.
- I am confident that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
So, dear blog reader who thinks I have self confidence, thank you. You’ve helped me declare who my confidence is in, as well as remember that people’s appearances don’t always match what’s going on in the heart.
Any assurance you see in me is only because of God’s faithfulness in my life, but maybe my next video needs to show you my laundry dilemma.
And when you hear me light up about my next frugal find, remember those are more than just cute clothes or painted pieces of furniture. Those purchases symbolize years of God’s perfect provisions, and I can’t not share His creative goodness.
So how about you? What topics breathe life into you?
Of what are you confident today? I’d love to celebrate with you.
—- Jen Schmidt, a girl who embraces both the beauty and bedlam of every day life