Toes barely touching the water I look out at the horizon. The mountains cast their shadows deep into the lake; a cloudy grey sky threatens rain. We link arms, my brother and I. Barefoot, we stand on the beach. A bond about to be forged in the deep, cold water; the miles we are about to travel. We gaze in silent surrender to that distant place. Knowing, and yet not knowing, what lies before us.
Adrift in the moment we lose track of time. A cannon blares and we dive. A mass of bodies pierces the stillness of the once calm lake. A thundering storm erupts beneath the water and we are separated. Calm, silent surrender is immediately overtaken by panic and fear. Alone. Kicking, thrashing, drowning. It’s happening. I’m going to die. I roll onto my back coughing water out of my lungs and stare fixedly at the clouded sky. As if looking directly into the Father’s eyes I cry out: “Lord, where are you? Please. Help.”
An army of arms closing behind me, I turn quickly and begin my stroke. Stay calm. One, two, three, breathe. One, two, breathe. Rhythm, timing, uninterrupted in prayer: “Lord, go before me. Make a way.”
Much of life can feel like drowning. Arms flailing, legs kicking, we struggle to get our head above water. Pushed and pulled down by others trying to get by, ahead. We coach ourselves: one, two, three, breathe. One, two, breathe…
So many times we’re scared to leave the safety of the shore.
Or we stay in the comfort of the shallows.
But we’re called to go deep.
We believe if we train hard enough or practice long enough, we will succeed on our own. That hours spent in the pool will help us when we face open water.
But when the water gets deep and our feet no longer touch, we realize that our strength is not enough. Our weakness becomes frighteningly real as we face the unforgiving depths of the darkness.
For me, nothing captures the faithfulness of God like my swim on Ironman morning. People ask: what was it like? I pause because there’s no way to describe it without sharing the intimate presence of a faithful Father.
Amongst thousands of bodies equally frightened and terrified of drowning; He went before me. He made a way.
In that moment I realized we are companions of fear, each of us afraid to unclench our fist and surrender to the One who knows the depth of our soul. Who hears the desperate cries of our heart. We know this and yet we struggle to believe it is true.
And we’re faced with the paradox that we cannot fully rest in Him if we don’t follow Him into deep water.
I’ve always been afraid of a shallow life. Yet too often fear of depths still scares me enough to stay on the shore.
But I’m tired of shallow living. Finished with the safety on the shoreline. If you’re ready I’ll swim with you in open water, past the boundary into the depths of our fear. Because I believe He will meet us there.
Meet us where we can no longer rely on our own understanding or strength. Where we must believe in something bigger and greater than ourselves. When we realize He is all we need. He is all we’ve ever needed.
Where in your life are you afraid to follow God into deep water? What makes you believe He won’t make a way?
Come with me.
Toes in the water, eyes on the horizon.
Dive. He’s waiting.
Leave a Comment
emily says
this is so good and what a beautiful image and reminder of the amazing God we have who makes a way for us.
tammy says
thank you emily! an amazing God indeed. 🙂
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
Tammy,
I love where you say that we cannot fully rest in Him unless we follow Him into the deep water. It has been the times in my life, when I got to the end of myself, that I was able to fully rely on God to make a way for me. I believe that God allows us to get to the point of nearly drowning so that we can experience His arms of love underneath us, lifting us up, and carrying us along. Yet He is so faithful to not let the waters wash over us and consume us. What a beautiful analogy your race was of truly “going deep” with out Heavenly Father. When I fearfully wander back to shore, He beckons me to dive in yet again.
Blessings,
Bev
tammy says
i believe that too, Bev. He is so faithful. i wish you many blessings as you dive in again.
Tiffani says
Your testimony to Gods unfailing love is perfect. Not only does The Lord meet us in our brokenness , but he makes it beautiful ! When we no longer lead an let go of our will he carries us. God does the unthinkable if we believe.
tammy says
He makes the impossible possible. and He uses the platform of our weaknesses, not our strengths, to show His power and perfection and glory. what an awesome God!
Pamela Herman says
Thank you for the reminder. Oh so long ago I was moved “Out of the boat” by John Ortberg’s words in his book. This theme has evolved. And you are its next messenger to my soul. Thank you for sharing what I needed to hear. I trust in Him – even with fear. He’s quelling that fear. In a way I couldn’t have imagined. Thank you. And bless your soul.
tammy says
thank you pamela! i am overwhelmingly humbled and honored that it would carry that message to your soul. i am excited for you and the story of how He will meet you in the depth of your fear and be the comfort you need to get out of the boat and into the deep water. many blessings to you!
Jen says
Tammy,
Come this Fall we will be back to homeschooling, again. This I know I am truly called to do… God always provides abundance in this area of our lives. I will, also , be co-leading Girl Scouts, joining a homeschool co-op and my daughters are in dance, regularly. Most recently, I’ve been asked to lead the K-1 Grade Level of the Children’s Ministries at our church. I feel honored to be asked to do this… Plus, we are moving on from two miscarriages and are trying to have another baby. God has used EVERY heartache of mine for HIS Glory. I am not going into any of these thing’s blindly… I have crashed and burned in the past and had wised up to resolve past exhaustion by simplifying my life. I know what can happen, when you have too much on your own plate and try living on your own strength. I’ve learned to live By Grace Alone and God has cultivated my insecurity into a much more confident women for His God…someone living each day using the gifts that he’s placed in my heart. Here’s where I am… Ready to take the plunge in so many areas of my life.
Blessings,
Jen
tammy says
i’m praying for you as you journey through each of these situations, that you find His peace, His comfort and His faithfulness. we cannot live by our strength alone and He uses our weaknesses, not our strengths, to show His power and perfection. let Him use you. let Him mold and form and break you to bring Him glory. dive in Jen! He’s there. blessings!
Holley says
Tammy, this is a beautiful, powerful post. Thanks for helping us be brave with you! And you doing an IronMan? Whoot! That is awesome. 🙂 Strong woman inside and out. Love. Go get ’em, girl!
tammy says
thank you so much Holley! thank you for being such a voice of encouragement and inspiration to my own journey. blessings!!
Krista says
Love this 3 way connection! Holley… do you know Tammy and I do daily life together? 😉 As God would have it, he moved her into my neighborhood and we quickly became soul sisters. She is a great gift to me! Just loved the small world…. HUGS to you both!
Jen says
I meant to say…cultivated my insecurities into a much more confident women for His Glory.
Reading back what I wrote… It’s sounds so overwhelming! Thank you, Tammy for this post. It’s helping me work and pray through some big decisions.
anna wright says
Powerful post Tammy, I love it 😉 you inspire me and you motivate me.
tammy says
thank you anna! go get ’em girl! dive in!
Amy says
Oh, what an awesome, beautiful post, Tammy. Congratulations on the IronMan!
tammy says
thank you amy!
Sarah says
Thank you, Tammy. I am praying through this. I have felt ready to dive in for awhile…standing at the shore, ready to push off, and waiting for the whistle to blow. And waiting. And waiting….I sense there are big changes ahead for our family, but I also sense that my husband is not quite ready to dive in yet. Sometimes I wonder if I’m trying to jump ahead of God…does that make sense? Not trying to negate what you’re saying AT. ALL. It is a powerful message. But what about the preparation before diving in? I’m just struggling with that part, I guess. I want to jump in NOW! Just not sure what that looks like at the moment…. So thankful for you and the message you bring. So many blessings to you. <3
tammy says
mmm, yes. i do believe there is a necessary preparation on our part. you know how and where He is working in your heart and you know the work you need to do. be faithful in the small things, in the work He is giving you, and He will make a way. praying for you sarah, and the changes you are waiting for. He will meet you.
Kristin Williams says
simply breathtaking…
tammy says
thank you kristin!
Danyalle says
Thank You for this today.
tammy says
you’re welcome danyalle. blessings!
Ellie says
I’ve, too, been standing on the shore – knowing I belong in the deep waters, but fearing them so profoundly that I’ve continued to wait and wait. All this DESPITE knowing God’s bigger and stronger than any current or fear of drowning. I have been praying for the courage to dive in headfirst. So far, I’ve been wading in slowly. I know God wants me to completely release EVERYTHING and go with Him. Each and every day I pray for the strength to yield my will to His.
Thanks for this today. It’s well-written and timely for many, I know.
tammy says
i’m praying with you ellie, to find your strong. find your courage. find and lean on your faith in His promises. they’re true!
mindy says
Beautifully written, Tammy. Love to hear your heart like that. Thank you for sharing. I was swept out to the point of drowning but of course He rescued me, and that time in my life is what has affected others the most. Xoxo
tammy says
mmmm, mindy. i’m so glad you allowed Him to rescue you and carry you back to the shore. never the same. His power made perfect. His strength in our weakness. His unending, unconditional love and grace. xoxo
Lis says
You are a beautiful writer. I loved the imagery you used.
I don’t have an answer to your question, but God keeps bringing this topic up in my life.
tammy says
dive in lis! you are stronger than you know.
Ronda says
Thank you for a beautiful post.
tammy says
thank you ronda! blessings!
Ron says
Tammy, thank you for this!
Such beautiful and powerful testimony to HIS “pull” for us and how we are truly wired in HIM.
I do believe that as HIS children, we are never meant for shallow living but rather for an “abundant life” in HIM (John 10:10).
As being in a transition in life and career, it’s been my struggle to either pursue a stable job or just go for something that has been tugging at my heart since then. I chose to do the latter. Recently I’ve been doing simple trainings and “up-dates” related to that, and GOD provided for me to be qualified for the last two steps before actually starting in this new career.
Honestly, I failed the latest step but was graciously given a chance to re-take it just today and was also given a near-hire training by the same company. I have prayed in my heart days before and especially today that HE will just please hold my being in HIM since I don’t know much.
And I am glad that HE abundantly showered me with strength and resolution to just go for it.
I may not clearly know what lies ahead since this thing I am doing seems like a big shift from what are expected of me, but yet, I do firmly beleive that HE knows what HE is doing and HE is with me always.
Thank you for these words…
“we are companions of fear, each of us afraid to unclench our fist and surrender to the One who knows the depth of our soul. Who hears the desperate cries of our heart. We know this and yet we struggle to believe it is true.
And we’re faced with the paradox that we cannot fully rest in Him if we don’t follow Him into deep water.
I’ve always been afraid of a shallow life. Yet too often fear of depths still scares me enough to stay on the shore.
But I’m tired of shallow living. Finished with the safety on the shoreline. If you’re ready I’ll swim with you in open water, past the boundary into the depths of our fear. Because I believe He will meet us there.
Meet us where we can no longer rely on our own understanding or strength. Where we must believe in something bigger and greater than ourselves. When we realize He is all we need. He is all we’ve ever needed.
Dive. HE’s waiting.”
Thank you, sister.
-Ron
tammy says
thank you for sharing your heart ron! we never know what lies before us, all we have is our faith in Him, knowing He is all we need. i’m excited for you and the changes that lie ahead for you! He’s waiting. blessings!
Karin says
Oh Tam…chills…just incredible! Thank you for sharing this amazing post!~ Yes, the journey to “dive in” to what GOD has called on our lives and not what this culture is calling! I truly want to KNOW His hand, allowing Him to “go before me” and make His way in my life. My desire to to “stare fixedly” to our Father, so He is able to reveal His safety, His direction, His comfort, His love and His PEACE. Thank you for this encouragement!! I LOVE you girl and am extremely proud of YOU!!! xoxo
tammy says
that is my desire too dear friend. xoxo
Carolyn Tidwell says
This past 6 months, the choices and actions of someone I love very much have drawn me into the deep water where I thought I might not survive. God is always willing to lift us up out of the depths with His Everlasting Arms. Thanks for sharing your experience. It reminds us that we can survive with God’s help in our lives.
tammy says
yes we can, carolyn. thank you for sharing and i’m praying that you not only survive but grow in ways otherwise impossible. blessings.
Beth Williams says
Tammy,
Congratulations on doing an Iron-man triathalon. You are a brave, strong woman.
As a Christian I know I’m called to go deep with whatever calling God has for me. I know I must pray and rely on His timing for the plans He’s prepared for me. (Jeremiah 29:11).
I’m in a work-related quandary. While I have a “decent”, good paying job with the state–I’m not satisfied with the job or the new boss, who dislikes me, anymore. The economy is such right now that quitting would be crazy. There aren’t many more jobs out there–especially with the state or federal government.
Praying that God will make a way for me and show me where He wants me. Either way I know He will supply the strength and encouragement needed to follow Him.
tammy says
mmmmm, Beth. praying for His leading in your life. for Him to open and close doors, for Him to make a way. stay the course. He is faithful. blessings!
Shelly Hendricks says
So beautifully written and filled with truth! Thank you! Struck with chronic illness that led to disability, it felt a lot like being thrown into the deep water. But I am truly coming to know God on a whole new level, and I think a big part of that comes with the trust we must give over in those moments.
1 John 4:18 says, “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” And I reply, “Amen, Lord, please continue to work your perfect work in me.”
Love the reminder from you that HE is the one who makes our way! God Bless!
tammy says
thank you shelly for gifting me with your words today! i pray He continues to do His work in me as well. blessings to you!
katie says
“When we realize He is all we need. He is all we’ve ever needed.” Such a simple concept, yet, so often forgotten! Thank-you for your beautiful words. Thank-you for sharing your gift of writing with all of us. Blessings to you!!! xoxo
tammy says
thank you katie! so simple…and yet so dang hard at the same time! xoxo