I’m one week into a ten-week sabbatical and am barely beginning to unwind. With three kids in school and one toddling around the house, unwinding starts with a lot of undoing and unloading.
I’ve cleaned the house and gone through every closet but one, purging whatever I possibly can. It’s been productive, but mostly what it has been is slow.
Last month, I was having a hard time taking deep breaths. I wasn’t sure if it was stress, an anxiety attack waiting in the wings, or if asthma was making its come back.
A few days with an inhaler and beginning this Selah, my lungs have now refueled with air. I can now breathe. Deeply. Slowly. With all the oxygen I need.
During these slower mornings I find myself savoring Romans in ways I haven’t been able to before. God-breathed words about His kindness and the inner workings of the Spirit are bringing praise to the surface of this weary soul.
—
Life moves us quickly from here to there and it’s easy to skirt over things we don’t want to come to terms with. We put off messes too difficult to talk about, hoping someone or something will show up unexpectedly to make everything better, until one day there is no more room to hide.
I shove my messes in a closet thinking, “I’ll deal with this later.” If you can’t see the mess on the outside, there is a momentary sense of relief and deception of it no longer being there. Then one day, the inevitable happens. There is no longer space for shoving, hiding or sweeping under the rugs. Eventually what’s hidden must come out and the messes must be dealt with accordingly. Most of the time, it’s me. I am the mess.
We do the same thing with the words of God. You know the ones. The ones that make God seem angry, intolerant and harsh. It’s easier for us to flip the page and go onto the next chapter, dismissing the hard words to another time and place thinking they no longer apply to us. We hide from the words that may bring out the messes of who we are.
Amazing Grace saved a wretch like me and yet sometimes I pretend to not be broken.
A hardened heart no longer feels the depths of what it’s supposed to feel. Be it love, joy, pain or suffering, the hardened heart is indifferent, inoculated, maybe even medicated by avoidance. Romans 2 says a hardened heart stores up wrath and I wonder…with all this storing up we do with things we don’t want to deal with, are we suppressing the kindness of God which sometimes looks like discipline?
God’s kindness is intended to lead us to repentance. {Romans 2:4}
It is written… “the Lord disciplines those He loves” and even when it hurts and doesn’t seem pleasant, later on we will see its benefits. Hebrews promises our discipline will produce a harvest of righteousness and peace. The hard things we deal with now, the yucky stuff we are going to stop shoving in our closets, the lessons learned in these times of discipline are not only for our own benefit but they will also do good for others.
Slowing down gives God a chance to deal with my chaos in my house and in my heart so I can really see how He loves me. Even though it may be uncomfortable in the process.
How has slowing down helped you process difficult words or circumstances?
By Suzie Lind, Hemmed In
Andrea says
My kids are finishing the first week of school. This is the first time in 9 years I have no kids at home. I have filled my days completely full. And I have been ill as a hornet between me adjusting, the kids adjusting, nostalgia, worry about my kids being at a new school, worry about my kindergartener. I feel that tug to slow down. I haven’t listened I have kept on pushing and hiding from my feelings. Praying along the way but still ignoring the tug. Yesterday, my brand new dryer stopped working so I can’t do laundry, and today I over slept by an hour. And them I get up and read this. Ok Ok, I get the hint. 🙂 thank you!
Suzie Lind says
Andrea! I’m so glad you were encouraged today and pray God’s rest would quiet your heart and the rest of your body so you can enter into this new groove and be able to fill the space well.
Kerith Stull says
Whether or not we slow down to let God deal with our messes, I believe He always finds a way to get things done in our lives. If we do slow down, I think we can allow Him to get it done more easily and without Him having to do something BIG to get our attention.
Suzie Lind says
So true Kerith. This post was written 10 weeks ago and last week, I came across this verse from Mark: “Sabbath was made for man, not man for the sabbath.” Nothing is required of us but when we receive the gift of rest with no strings attached to it, it’s a gift for our benefit… to be able to enjoy and savor who God is.
Brianna says
Wow. God has been speaking reminders of the good that is found in rest and slowing down from the crazy pace we often demand out of ourselves. I am definitely guilty of running at 100% 100% of the time, but just recently, God asked me to time to rest.
I, like you, have been shoving my brokenness in the closets, under the covers, any where it would fit. It wasn’t until a dear friend gently said that I was a workaholic that my behavior was brought into full view and I realized how much my ways of “doing life” were hurting myself. Her words have been hard to swallow but I see the truth in them.
These words were a good reminder of what the Lord is sorting out and healing in me. Thank you so much for sharing. 🙂
Suzie Lind says
Thank you Brianna for sharing where you are as well. I hope and pray for God’s grace to be fully evident through every step of the sorting out. 🙂
Linda Massey says
“He makes me lie down in green pastures… (Ps. 23:2)”
I am a sheep – yes, the not-so-smart animals who need their Shepherd to make them lie down to rest. In fact, He was nudging me to rest this Sunday afternoon, but I had “so much to do,” but He was relentless bringing this verse to my mind. So I listened to my Shepherd, and I rested and laid my circumstances and struggles before Him. And He amazed me once again. I had such a sweet, sweet time with Him. I walked away with the simple message – “I love you…I love you with an immeasurable love, hold onto Me, allow me to guide you and care for you…I love you.” My circumstances and struggles have not changed, but I am different. I have been in the presence of the Good Shepherd, and I view my circumstances and struggles differently – because He loves me. Yep, that is enough me for this sheep. It may sound silly, but knowing He loves me and experiencing it in a profound way in my heart has changed me and is changing me. I want to stay in this slowed down place too, Suzy. Praying for you…He loves you!
Suzie Lind says
This is beautiful Linda. Thank you for sharing it 🙂
Marty says
This post really ministered to me today. Thank you for sharing it.
Suzie Lind says
I’m so thankful it did Marty.
Sara Arellano says
A calm and Undisturbed mind and heart are the life and health of the body. Proverbs 14:30a.
Gods word totally brings a calm to hearts and minds when we remember God has already been where we r going and says Follow behind Me, step into each of my footprints. This is the way!!. Saturating in the Word barricades our mind to letting in all those things that try and pull us away from those footprints and lead us into the dark messy closet!!! Nothing is trivial in His sight or wasted . He uses every tiny detail for His good purposes.
Suzie Lind says
Amen Sara! So good to hear your perspective 🙂
Amy says
I’m finding it hard to slow down these days. Thank you for this much needed encouragement, Suzie.
Suzie Lind says
I think it’s hard for many of us to slow down Amy. I’m pretty convinced so much of God’s encouragement to us in the word from keeping the sabbath, to taking his rest, and not being anxious are because we have the propensity to keep on going at a faster and faster pace. It’s a challenge for all of us and I’m praying for you tonight to be able to slow down and savor Him.
Mena says
I am at the “too many messes in the closet” stage in the literal sense and it is impacting me in the spiritual sense. My normal tendency would be to clean the closet first and then sit still. for the past ten days or so I have been sitting still (even for brief periods) reading the word and pondering…. It has been good. I am almost ready to clean the closet. Thank you
Suzie Lind says
Awesome. And thanks for being in my closets.
Chris Cannon says
You’re my favorite writer besides Jesus. Thanks for sharing your God-given insights and allowing the Word to go deep into my messy life! Here’s to having our sins taken away…and no longer covered up!
Suzie Lind says
God is merciful and so so good 🙂
Renee says
This is a great reminder….I love what you said about “sometimes I pretend not to be broken”……I often feel we do not allow others to be broken either!
Suzie Lind says
I agree Renee and yet I’m finding lately it’s easier to allow others to be broken than it is for me to admit much of my own. Ya know?
Connie Henry says
Thanks for those words, I really needed to hear that. As someone mention earlier, I tend to make myself so busy while Morgan is at school that I forget to slow down. Thanks so much Suzie!
Suzie Lind says
Thank you Connie! I’m grateful it was something helpful to you.
MyPeaceOfFood says
It was not by choice about 2.5 months ago that I found myself in a Marriage Mess, which forced me to slow down. I prayed for peace and asked my friends and loved ones to do the same. At first, when it arrived, I was scared. What was this feeling and why was I feeling it?! Oh yeah, that’s right…God answered those prayers! So for a few days this week, I thought, this is good. This is exactly what I need. Doing less, trying to maintain the peace and calm. Done, check, good job, pat on the back. But this morning, I’m seeing how God wants me to dig my heels in even further and REALLY find refuge in him. You can always go deeper, even if in silence and solitude. After all, it is only by grace…
Suzie Lind says
Thank you for sharing this. God does some of His best work in the middle of a huge mess. Praying it would be so for you. Grace and peace.
Cathy says
Hi,
Question…sabbatical from what? Just curious!!
Suzie Lind says
From full time ministry at church/my “job” as women’s pastor. Thanks for asking!
Lauren Anne Clement says
Hi there, friend!
I just returned from an 11 month journey around the world. It was called the World Race and we visited 1 countries in that time frame. Beyond that, fundraising for the trip took up the half a year before as well.
So this Summer, God called me to my 7th day. A day (slash 3 months) of rest. I am just about to begin really moving again, with work and ministry and such but He had to tell me to breathe. He made it very clear that this was the time to not only breathe but like you said, breathe deeply. Thank you for letting me know that I’m not alone in this because “uncomfortable” was the perfect descriptive word for what slowing down felt like for me. But it was time. It was worth it.
Suzie Lind says
Lauren, thanks so much for sharing where you have been. Can you please clarify how many countries you visited? I’m so glad you found the rest worth it. May this next season bear much fruit because of it!
Vanessa says
I haven’t slowed down completely, but when I started adding goal after goal, task after task onto my plate, I heard Him tell me stop, back off, slow down. I could definitely do more to slow down. I delayed a business plan, a bible study I’d signed up for (the 3rd one on my plate)… and it’s been good to let me focus on the other areas – family, work, blog… life is full and hectic, and I know I’m not doing it perfectly – I’m a hot mess, and I’m thankful for this post encouraging me to do more to slow down and focus.
Suzie Lind says
Welcome to the hot mess club Vanessa! Sounds like you and I are similar plate pilers. I hope your focusing helps you in deciding what to do and not do. One thing that’s really helped me is keeping in mind every time I say “yes” to something, I’m saying “no” to another. It’s kind of a simple thing that has helped me in deciding the best way to use my time and resources.Thank you for connecting with me today!
Aprille {beautifulinhistime.com} says
I love this. So. Much.
I’m about 1 weeks out from taking a much-needed blogging break and hopefully rest from life. This meets me right where I am.
Suzie Lind says
I’m so glad. Thank you!
Holley says
Yes, we are the much-loved, glorious, imperfect, scandalous messes. 🙂 Thank you for reminding us that we can find rest in that truth!
Suzie Lind says
Amen!
Laura says
There are days when I too find myself shoving all the negatives away from me and pushing aside God’s discipline in the process. I don’t realize it until it is done. I realize that I missed my quiet time and prayers of thanksgiving. My day disentegrates into awfulness. So today I start fresh with morning prayers and a thankful heart. Today the focus will be on HIS provisions and direction. There is always peace for me this way. Thank you for reminding me to keep my eyes and heart focused on HIM and every good thing will be added to me.
Suzie Lind says
Thanks Laura. It’s amazing what our prayers of thanksgiving can do for our day by shifting our heart’s direction.
Ruth says
Have just returned from the privilege of a 5 day retreat! Wow! What a difference slowing down has had on me. Working out how to incorporate a slowed down life into my usual busy schedule. Maybe I should start with the slow bit and add the schedule around that. Am learning to be still, stop stressing and know He is my God.
Suzie Lind says
I love the plan to start with the slow and schedule around that. Isn’t that how it should be? I’m going to be trying the same thing. Thanks 🙂
Angie says
When left untouched, a mess shoved out of sight can continue to grow as well. Open the door, shove a little more in. Out of sight, out of mind… We think. When messes are left, they can cause quite a problem when we decide it’s time to clean them up and leave behind lots of heartache. I’ve been through years of hiding sin and am just in the past two years trying to clean up the mess that just kept growing. Thank God HE can do it for me. His grace is way more than I deserve and I am forever grateful to Him for helping me and forgiving me. Living transparently is what I strive for now and I’ve just now started blogging about my story. Hopefully my story can help others and bring God all glory and honor! Great post! 🙂