I’ve been struggling with the word FINALLY lately.
A friend of mine, still single in her 40s, got engaged recently, and as you can imagine, Facebook exploded into a million pieces of pure happy. It was very sweet to watch everyone rejoice with her as she has found a really good dude who loves her well.
But one comment rubbed me the wrong way.
“So glad this FINALLY happened for you!” a well-meaning friend wrote.
And for weeks, I’ve tried to figure out why I bristled at that. What was it that bothered me about that exclamatory sentence? It was kind, full of excitement, genuine, and…
When something FINALLY happens, it is like everything up to that point was just waiting, surviving, and watching for any sign that change is here to rescue the situation.
You know who deserved to feel a FINALLY? The Israelites in the desert. But you know why they FINALLY-ed? Because they were wandering. They were lost.
Just because I’m single doesn’t mean I’m wandering, waiting to find the Promised Land of milk and honey(moon).
When you say FINALLY, I picture crawling into the Promised Land, parched and sunburnt, with tears rolling down my face at the final relief of it all.
Sorry, but that’s not my reality.
My life is very full and fun and even on the bad days (and there are bad days), I’m not in a desert. I’m living. I’m working. I’m playing. I’m laughing. I’m cooking. I’m crying. I’m alive.
I am not lost because I am single. I do not need to be rescued from this life. Yes, I totally want a husband to walk this life with me and partner in the things that God is doing, but I don’t need to be saved from the desert.
This life? It actually may be the Promised Land.
So when the right dude comes into my life and he can put up with my crazy and decides to stick around, I hope we all celebrate, just like we celebrated my friend and we will celebrate for you, singlet. We can cheer and throw a party and thank God for answering prayers.
But don’t say FINALLY. I may be single, but I am not wandering. I am not lost. I am complete and on the right path and I have not been abandoned.
And the same is true for you.
By Annie Downs