{Photo by Viviana Ga}
I had about a half-hour to spend time with God.
My two children, three and six, were happy in front of a video. For now.
To be a mother is to hurry, but it was Sunday, and the sky was a swirl of white on blue. We’d recently moved back to our hometown after six months abroad. We now had a yard—green grass, an archway of bougainvillea and a lime tree.
The apartment we’d just left in Buenos Aires was lovely, but its balcony narrow, with a view of buses and a Laundromat.
Looking at the sky, I decided: I will sit outside with God. I will make a pot of tea. I will read the Bible.
I have gone through periods of my life where I sit regularly with God and Scripture, and times where I do not. Sometimes I couldn’t, because the devotional had become a litmus test I used to measure whether I was worthy.
Sometimes, it took not reading the Word for a while to remember that God is the one who is worthy.
But lately when I read the Bible, I feel like a child, learning to sit still with her Daddy. Learning the family history and realizing that I’m continuing its stories.
So I put the red kettle on the stove and turned on the burner, watched the coil grow as orange as a poppy.
Then, in the living room, I heard my children shift. One of them whined at the other.
The video would now end in twenty-eight minutes, since I’d taken time for tea. And that’s if they didn’t wander off, need anything, or fight.
I eyed the pot. Perhaps I could do without the tea? It would be faster. I would have more time with Jesus.
The guilt rose. I didn’t want to put off the Bible reading until the last few minutes of the show, squeezing Jesus into them. It was a day of spaciousness, and I wanted there to be enough time for him.
The kettle hissed at me.
{Photo by Shardayyy}
Help, Lord, I said.
And in the midst of the anxiety, the answer came.
There was enough time for the kettle. Enough time for tea. There was enough time because Jesus was there with me in the kitchen as I prepared for the Bible. Jesus was there as I lifted the kettle off the burner and filled the pot. He held hands with me as I selected a tea bag. He carried me as I carried the pot and my Bible outside.
He was there, now, and I couldn’t possibly squeeze him out. Because he’s in the loveliness as much as he is in the reading of His Word.
It is hard for me, a perfectionist, to learn how to be with Jesus. It is hard for me to know this wanderer who meandered with no to-do list. The one who said, “Beautiful,” to the woman who wasted the nard. The one who kept telling his greatness-obsessed followers to become like children.
My children cannot be hurried when they are enjoying something.
I took a deep breath and sat in the blessed shade. The teapot steamed, and I found I was looking with anticipation at the Bible. I wanted to approach it with a soft heart, with a playful spirit, and with the hope that I will never need to hide from it again.
I am trying to learn to savor God’s Word, to savor the time I spend in it, and to find God in everything beautiful.
Leave a Comment
Alison says
Oh Heather, you are a girl after my own heart. My children are considerably older than you, and for me I still tend toward the illdoitwhiletheyreoccupied, but you know what I’m finding? There’s still never enough time, so I just do it when I can. And they see that – they see the Bible left on the kitchen table while I go and stir the pasta sauce, or put the washing on. They shift my journal or devotional or His word from the couch, evidence that taking the time – even 5 minutes – to drink deep of Him whilst I drink my coffee is important. They’re seeing and learning that time with Him is constant, that as you said, He is there in everything. I’m learning grace comes all the time, not just when I ask for it. Be encouraged, He is with you in every little thing.
Heather Caliri says
Thanks, Alison–“Grace comes all the time.” So lovely. I AM encouraged.
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
Heather,
“He’s in the loveliness as much as he is in the reading of His word.” I love it! So often I think that only the time I have my nose in my Bible “counts”. Nothing could be further from the truth. Thank you for a beautiful reminder that Jesus meets me right where I am and gently and in a lovely way, leads me into His presence.
Blessings,
Bev
Heather Caliri says
Yes, this dividing up the day into “Christian” moments and “ordinary” moments is not what he teaches!
Bomi says
Amen.
Heather Caliri says
Thank you, Bomi!
Holley Gerth says
What a beautiful post! Through your writing, it felt like all my senses were awakened to worship this morning…and reawakened to love. You have a gift for description plus inspiration–keep using it!
Heather Caliri says
Thank you, Holley! I haven’t been writing about faith for that long, but I’m finding it is such a great way of worshiping and meditating that I’m wondering what took me so long 🙂
Melinda says
Beautiful.
Heather Caliri says
Thank you, Melinda.
Valerie Hohenberger says
Oh Heather, you and I seem to be soul mates! I, too, was a perfectionist. That is, until God graced me with a wake-up call; a stroke! That experience awakened me to a whole different attitude toward Him and toward life. God Bless you as you continue to share what He has for all of us!
Heather Caliri says
Oh, what a testimony, Valerie. He is made perfect in our weakness; Lord, help me let YOU be my strength.
Bobbie says
Beautifully expressed! I think we all tend to forget God is with us in all things – thankfully He doesn’t forget to be there in the quiet times as well as the chaotic ones. My children are grown now and have children of their own. I have more time now to write, to set my own schedule, to focus on The Lord of my life, who has blessed me so abundantly through the years. I am, you might say, making up for all those ‘too busy’ times when He wasn’t in my schedule, but He’s been there all along, waiting – never giving up on me.
I wish I could join you this morning in a cup of tea so we could share in His Loveliness together.
God bless.
Heather Caliri says
Thank you, Bobbie. I’ve been writing about that tension of early motherhood, when the time comes in such small fragment, and been so blessed by the women in later stages that affirm that yes, the time starts coming back again! That this is a season, a rich, hard season! I’m lifting a mug to you right now 😉
Jenni says
Beautiful!!!
Heather Caliri says
Thank you, Jenni!
Lu Wings says
Ahhhhh Yes, He is in those lil everyday tasks…..in-the-midst while making tea, while our hands are in soapsuds up to our elbows, bathing a squirmy child, watching them breathe in the middle of the night, looking up at the stars during quiet moment. These too are Holy places.
Yes, of course He is in the deep study of His word, in the minister’s words at church. Some seasons are for deep study and reflection, and others are for the moment-we-are-in…….as we live, move and breathe, as we feel His hands and our hands merge…..
Heather Caliri says
This is lovely, Lu. Always and in everything, he’s here.
glenda says
Thank Heather….for the great reminder that JESUS is there always and everywhere.
Heather Caliri says
Amen and amen.
Peggy says
God in all things. If we can find Him, it changes everything.
I hate doing dinner dishes. Everyone has gone on to their relaxation and I am stuck. I have been stuck since I became big enough to reach the faucet. But then, I can pull toward Him, be grateful for the meal – after all if I’m washing dishes, everyone ate. Review my day with His insight. It can be so much more than a sink full of suds.
Peg
Heather Caliri says
Oh, yes, Peg–finding him everywhere is I think the first step I’m taking to worshipping in spirit and in truth. I’m amazed at how hard that step is to come by, but how much it transforms me.
karyn says
Yes, God is everywhere. Our Father, HIS Son and the Holy Spirit, THEY are everywhere. Not just in the WORD but all around us. I was taught this when I was so very young. A babe.
Once I sat in the car as my husband drove for hours in high altitude. All I could hear was God’s Voice. Loud and clear, speaking to me. My husband was talking and talking and talking and I just said, mmmm mmmm yes mmmm. But I was in this deep conversation with the LORD of lords and the KING of kings.
It is often like this. And I get shaken when all of a sudden, I’m in a place, I was not.
Like the other day, as I was thinking of the LORD is deep deep conversation and the place was crowded and my husband near and I got lost, cos, I was not really where I was but in the heavenlies.
Fanctastic experience, every single time. I drift in and out of conversation with the LORD and wonder where I’m at when I come back down to earth. And wonder, where am I and where is this.
Heather Caliri says
Wow, Karyn, these sound like transformative experiences. Thank you for sharing them!
karyn says
Thank you.
🙂
Joanne Peterson says
Reading the post and the comments draws me into remembering He is in the situation even when my kids are arguing, my house is loud, my day falling apart, and I am feeling like the days are too long…..And He is there in the midst…..I am sensing His Presence now as I type these words. Lovely…….The ashes turns into Lovely……
Heather Caliri says
Yes, praise Him, he is there!
kimmie says
Beautiful post.
Heather Caliri says
Thank you, Kimmie!
Shelly Hendricks (@Renewed_Daily) says
Beautiful reminder that God is the God of the Ordinary! HE is what makes the moment extraordinary, with His presence, and sometimes that’s so hard to remember…. that it’s nothing we can bring to the experience. Thank you for this!
Paula McLane Jennings says
Wonderful post. I sturggle in the same ways and am going thru a rough time right now with doing my daily devotions ‘daily’. But what a wonderful reminder that Jesus is always with me even when my spending time with Him in the Word is done on my computer screen.
Brenda Scott says
So beautiful!!!!!
Heather Caliri says
Thanks, Brenda!
Jenny C. says
This reminds me of the song, “Just Give Me Jesus.” A relationship with Christ is truly WALKING with Him!
Heather Caliri says
Yes, a walk with a good friend, talking or being silent together. I love this image 😉
Nancy Ruegg says
Ah yes — to be with Jesus, wherever I am, whatever I’m doing. Thanking him. Praising him. Worshiping him. Any place can become hallowed ground; any task can be made holy, because it’s set apart for his honor and glory.
Thank you for the reminder, Heather!
Heather Caliri says
I’m right there with you, Nancy.
Ruth says
I too get so worried that I’m just squeezing Him in, making room in my schedule… I so understand! I am just beginning to understand also, that like the Loving Father in the Prodigal Son, my Father’s schedule is to always be waiting for me to notice Him and long for Him.
Having been unable to speak or walk for 15 months up till January 2013, all props were removed and it was Him and Him alone, how quickly have I fallen back to seeing Him as a part of my life rather than my Life itself, how desperately I need Him to help me need Him in everything again! (Does that make any sense?)
Ruth
Jasmine says
Yes Ruth it does! Heather a really touching thought provoking post, thank you. I especially identify with the part of putting off devotional time being a litmus test for not being worthy enough to sit with God and the longer the time goes by between sitting with God the more unworthy I feel BUT I never thought of looking at it that God is the worthy one whom I need to spend time with to grow.
Lisa says
Beautiful post. Our Fellowship group touched on this very topic in our conversation this week. Cultivating attention to notice, embrace, and claim our Lord’s continuous presence nurtures the soul’s yearning for that vital relationship.