My grandfather was my favorite person.

He loved me without conditions or expectations. I never had to earn his approval, explain myself, or apologize for my quirky personality. I spent most of my childhood tethered to insecurities about my intelligence … my appearance … my worth, but not when I enjoyed time with him. Over bowls of strawberry ice cream and long walks in the woods I felt witty and smart because I knew he thought I was those things.

He encouraged me to write … cheered me on when I made the seemingly crazy decision to move to Orlando on my own after college graduation … and walked me down the aisle at my wedding. Pride shot through his eyes when he visited one of my work places. Love and peace owned his smile when he held my first baby in his arms.

Two weeks ago today, on my fortieth birthday, my grandfather abandoned his battered body, escaped this broken world and entered the Kingdom of Heaven.

His passing wasn’t a surprise. Those who loved him were as prepared as we could be … and we rejoiced that his suffering finally ceased. But oh, how we hurt … how we still hurt.

When death collides with love and birth intersects with rebirth, pain mingles with fierce beauty. Hope is immeasurable and yet the loss remains significant.

I consider it an honor that my grandfather and I now share a birthday … my earthly … his eternal, but the little girl within really wishes she could have heard him sing “Happy Birthday” to her just one more time.

When someone dies, many people are quick to offer their sympathies with a healthy dose of BUTS, in hopes of minimize your grief with a glance at the bright side of the situation.

“I know you loved him, BUT you should be happy that you had him in your life for so long.”

Well, I am happy that I was blessed with having my grandfather in my life for four decades, but I’m sad that I won’t take anymore long walks with him this side of heaven.

“I’m sorry for your loss, BUT at least you have memories.”

Memories are precious … life giving … healing enabling and I’m thankful for every single one I have of him. However, I’m sad that my kids will never have the memory of attending a Phillies game with him or holding his hand while searching for teaberries.

“I know this is a difficult time for you and your family, BUT you should be happy that he isn’t suffering.”

Of course I’m happy that his suffering ended. I rejoice that he walks again. But can I be honest? I still miss him.

Those who console mean well, yet their words seldom bring healing at times such as these.

I think that sometimes Christians are afraid to grieve or at least feel guilt when they mourn as if they are dishonoring Christ’s sacrifice by shedding tears for their loss. But grief does not erase love or hope, it just means that your heart aches for more time with someone you cherish, while you’re celebrating that you had the opportunity to know that person in the first place.

When Paul left the Ephesian elders, Scripture mentions their grief.

When Paul had finished speaking, he knelt down with all of them and prayed. They all wept as they embraced him and kissed him. What grieved them most was his statement that they would never see his face again. Then they accompanied him to the ship. – Acts 20: 36 – 38.

Paul’s friends felt sorrow even though they were thankful for much.

The truth that soothes me most during this time of great loss actually comes from a passage of God’s word often read at weddings. I read these verses at my grandfather’s funeral because they don’t only apply to marriage vows, they are meant for us to live during every life event. The happy, the trying, the mundane. Love is paramount to healing. Love is necessary for living life well.

If I speak in the tongues of mortals and of angels, but do not have love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away all my possessions, and if I hand over my body so that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient; love is kind; love is not envious or boastful or arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. I Corinthians 13: 1-8(a)

Should you be in a season of grieving right now, please know that I am so sorry for your loss. I hope that you will give yourself time to hurt and to process your feelings. I pray that you are laying your burden at the feet of Jesus and allowing the Creator of love to minister to your soul.

My grandfather was amazing at loving others and I plan to honor his life by living in obedience to God by gaining a deeper understanding of what it means to receive love and bestow love in all circumstances.

  • http://myfreshlybrewedlife.com Barbie

    I am sorry for your loss. Praying God will bring comfort as only He can.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you, Barbie.

  • Ruth

    Angela, thank you for writing on this heart topic, and at a time when it is touching you so deeply. I honour you for your integrity and compassion.
    The last time I truly cried was at my beloved grandmother’s funeral, 30 years ago. My pain at the time was agonizing and I sobbed and cried hysterically in my mother’s arms. A well meaning older Christian lady pulled me from my mother and told me off for making such a fuss. I returned to university that same day, my mourning over. I have not been able to cry since. The pressure of needing to cry is there often but no tears.
    Angela, I pray that your grieving will be whole and will last as long as it needs and that you will be surrounded by loving friends who are not afraid of death or grief.
    Your grandad sounded great, I should have loved to meet him.

    • Dakota

      Dear Ruth, I am so sorry that that happened to you. Your young heart was seared by someone else who was uncomfortable with showing emotions. I pray that precious Holy Spirit will touch your heart and tenderize it and make you whole again. Allow your emotions to come alive again as that is how God our Father made us to be……

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you, Ruth. I am so sorry you had that experience. I pray that you will feel the release that you need after so many years. ((hugs))

  • http://tcsoko.com Tracey Soko

    Sorry for your loss – the passing of a believing loved one is always bittersweet. Knowing you will see them again one day does not minimise the void in your life now – somedays it is a tension that is hard to hold.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you for your kind words and sweet understanding.

  • Kathy Deckard

    So sorry for your loss. I am in a grief process. My sister died 3 months ago. Today will be bittersweet as we celebrate her first birthday in heaven.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Dear Kathy, Thank you for your condolences, and please accept mine. I am so very sorry for the loss of your sister … I understand bittersweet.

  • Kim

    Angela, I am so sorry for your loss. Love and prayers.
    It is often “easier” to accept death when it happens to someone who has been ill or is older, because we can somehow “justify” it. Those unhelpful statements are usually the same ones I say to myself when trying to get through my own grief, though it does not change the feeling of loss or of love. It is a way of coping.
    Young and sudden death is harder. The scars deeper and longer lasting. I have recently discovered that I did not feel and process the pain of a young and sudden death from over 20 years ago. As a result I am a bundle of anxiety and fear. I dread the “What if’s” I may have to face if I were to suddenly lose someone close to me. I am learning to lay my anxiety and fear at His feet Every. Single. Day.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Dear Kim,
      Thank you for your kindness. Whispering prayers of heart healing for you.

  • Agnes

    I’m so so sorry for your loss, Angela. People like this are true treasures and true gifts. How wonderful to have had him in your life! May you be blessed and have peace during this time.x

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you so much! Yes, he certainly was a treasure.

  • Jill B

    This is a beautiful tribute to your grandfather. Your loss is huge and I am sorry that you are walking this grief road. I appreciate your willingness to share your insight as you sojourn. I am going to share this with my 19 year old daughter. Her daddy and my husband died on her 16th birthday. Your words are an encouragement. John 1:5 The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. B

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you, Jill! Prayers and hugs to you and your sweet daughter for your loss. What a heartbreak! I’m glad that my words brought comfort and rejoice in the beautiful scripture you shared.

  • Kim

    I am sorry for the loss of your grandfather. God gave me a wonderful grandma and yesterday was the one year anniversary of losing her. I miss her daily! No one loved me like she did. I miss holding her hand, laughing while playing cards, going out to eat, her godly example and her wisdom. Thank you for speaking such words of comfort to my breaking heart.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Kim, Thank you so much for your sweet words and for sharing a piece of your lovely grandmother.

  • http://gmail Barb

    Thank you for sharing. I know your Grandfather is smiling down on you. Bless you

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you.

  • Lori Johnson

    I am reading this on the day after burying my husband of 21 years. I am so sad I cannot describe it. One thing I want is to open my heart to the Father everyday and just ask, “what would you have me do today?” I don’t know any other way I can imagine living.

    • http://www.shilohhomeofhope.org Cindy

      ((( <3 ))) Hugs and love to you, Lori.

      • http://stateoftheheartliving.com Caryn Christensen

        Lori, I am so sorry for the profound loss of your husband.
        Heavenly Father,
        You see Lori and know her pain. And you promise to stick closer than a brother through the sorrows of this life. Holy Spirit, wrap Lori in your presence and fill her to overflowing with your peace. Let her FEEL your presence and your comfort in a tangible way. Let her fall, headlong into your loving arms and weep without feeling like she has to DO or BE anything right now. But even as she weeps Lord, let there be hope. Hope in You, and in your tender mercies which are new every morning. Bring life to her spirit and hope to her aching heart.
        Father, you promise to attend to our needs and supply to overflowing. Show Lori your love through the expression of your Church, your servants, with meals, cards, comforting words, rides, monetary help, etc.
        Lord, we choose to trust you in the darkest moments of our lives, knowing that you alone are our Light. Be the Light in Lori’s darkness. In the sovereign name of Jesus we pray.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Oh Lori, how my heart aches for you. I am so sorry for your loss and can only imagine your pain. Echoing Caryn’s sweet prayer for you dear one.

  • monica

    thank you for this great encouragement. My husband passed away in 2012 and the last day on earth was our granddaughters birthday, we sang happy birthday to her that day. I will never forget it, he died just shortly after midnight that night so his date of death was not actually her birthday but I always think of what he did on his last day here on earth and reading this just reminded me of that and yes I’m thankful for the memories but miss so much. thank you for writing this. I know it must have been hard.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you, Monica. It was such a hard post to write, but healing as well. Thank you for sharing your story. I am so sorry for your personal loss.

  • Laura

    Thank you for your brave, transparent, honest sharing. Your insights on grieving and processing the pain are an encouragement to me.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you, Laura.

  • http://www.agirlonthedoorstep.com Jennifer

    This is such a beautiful post. I had a very similar relationship with my grandmother. She went to her eternal home almost 7 years ago. I miss her every day.
    I love your words today, and pray for your aching heart during this time.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you, Jennifer. And I loved hearing about your sweet grandmother.

  • jsm

    Keep remembering and cherishing all those wonderful moments together…more will come!
    I just bet there is strawberry ice cream and wonderful woods to walk through in Heaven…at least on the new earth to come…

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you

  • http://www.shilohhomeofhope.org Cindy

    What a wonderful man, and a wonderful relationship to have had! I am so sorry for your pain and your loss. We never stop missing the loved ones we’ve lost, even when we KNOW they are whole, perfect and with our Lord! Such a bittersweet time, waiting to be united and not being ready to go. I am grateful for the presence of our loving God to pace with us for the rest of our days until we can all be reunited in glory. Until then, may He bring you much peace. ((( <3 ))) Hugs and love, Angela.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you, Cindy!

  • http://stateoftheheartliving.com Caryn Christensen

    Angela, I am so sorry for your profound loss. At nearly 100 years of age, my great aunt laid down for a nap and woke up in heaven. No suffering, no sickness. That was nearly 10 years ago. And I STILL miss her. Even as I’m typing this, tears are trickling down my cheeks. The influence she had on my life was immeasurable and if it weren’t for her, I’m not sure I would know the Lord today.
    Thank you for sharing some of your sweet memories with us today. You go ahead and cry sweet thing. Bury your head in the chest of a safe and understanding loved one, and mourn the earthly loss of a great man. It’s ok.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Oh Caryn, you words brought me so much comfort. Thank you.

  • Joanne Peterson

    Your grandfather has such a kind face! Just from the expression on your dear grandfather’s face, I can see why you loved him and felt loved by him. I am so sorry for your loss.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you, Joanne! So many people loved him … he just exuded joy.

  • http://freedtofly.wordpress.com Trudy Den Hoed

    I’m so sorry for your loss, Angela. It sounds like he was (still is) such a beautiful soul. Your heart must feel so devastated.

    “I think that sometimes Christians are afraid to grieve or at least feel guilt when they mourn as if they are dishonoring Christ’s sacrifice by shedding tears for their loss.” So sad, but so true through a variety of losses in life. Thanks so much for sharing, Angela.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you.

  • Wawoo

    Angela, Thank you for sharing your special relationship with your grandfather. My 99-year-old grandmother, who was a Godly model of grace and beauty, passed away in December. And just over a month ago, I read Corinthians 13: 1-8 at her funeral Mass. It was that love we shared that keeps her alive in all of us … and yeah, we miss her gentle, loving hands like crazy. But we still have her love :)

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      How beautiful! Thank you for sharing!

  • Katie Matzenbacher

    Thank you for sharing your wise words. Grief doesn’t ever end. It just changes with time, and the ache feels different. I love that you read 1 Cor. 13 at your Grandfather’s funeral. “Love is paramount to healing. Love is necessary for living life well.” – so very, very true.

    Your words touched my heart this morning. Thank you for being brave and vulnerable enough to share. Many prayers to you and your family.

  • http://www.christinamariehernandez.wordpress.com Christina

    Wow, Angela, so good, and reminds me of something my dear friend Christyn wrote for the Bible study she taught on Job: http://womenofvictory.wordpress.com/lesson-8/

    My dad passed away in 1999 and friends who have not suffered loss don’t understand how I can still have moments of grief at times.

  • http://www.christinamariehernandez.wordpress.com Christina

    Praying for you and your family.

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you.

  • Caroline

    Your grandfather was a very blessed man. What a lovely tribute – tears!

    • http://www.angelanazworth.com Angela Nazworth

      Thank you so much.

  • Carleen

    Wow, that I should read of your experience today! Yesterday, on my birthday, my mom-in-law left this earth as well, to be with Jesus. Although not unprepared, as she was ill at 95, I still grieve for the times I know I will miss her so. I’ve been trying to figure out if there is any significance I should know about that God would call her home on my birthday. Why not the day before, or the day after? I loved that you put into words how I’m feeling and if you don’t mind will change the wording to apply to myself. “I consider it an honor that my mother-in-law and I now share a birthday … my earthly … her eternal.”
    Thank you, Carleen

  • Dawn

    Thank you for sharing your heart! May God comfort you and your Family!

  • http://herdreams.org Debbie Paez

    I’m so sorry for you loss. But… you have the right to grieve! You lost a very precious person near and dear to your heart. God bless you and your family.

  • http://sandeestory.blogspot.com sandee

    What beautiful and achingly true words. My grandfather was the light of my life and the only person that I knew who loved me unconditionally. I still miss him so much after 38 years but realize with each passing year what a profound blessing he was and the positive impact he has made in my life
    Some of your words about people’s comments hit very close to home as well. My 27 year old brother was killed in a car accident in 1999 and I realized how hard it is for people to be around those in deep grief. I now volunteer with Hospice and am writing a book about Redeeming Loss in hopes that I might help ease the pain of those who feel as if they have no one they can turn who wants to listen or share their pain. Blessings and prayers for you and all of those who have posted of the painful losses they have endured or are enduring now. Peace to all of you.

  • Judi

    I am sorry for your loss. Your article came on the day, 12 yrs ago, that my beloved husband awoke in the arms of our Lord. Our 21 mo. old son never had the chance to know his father. We honor his memory through memories, and doing thing his father and I loved to do. So honor your grandfather with walks in the woods with your children, sharing memories and wisdom of your grandfather. Tell stories, laugh and cry. Let them feel the spirit and love of your grandfather through your stories and activities. And eat strawberry ice cream. Every. Chance. You. Can. Salute and honor him daily!

  • Veronica

    Hi Angela,

    I am so sorry for the loss of your grandfather. I can tell from the photo how much you loved each other. Praying for you and your family during this difficult time. God Bless.

  • Susan G.

    Praying comfort for you, from the only One who knows it all…
    My 15 year old granddaughter and 10 year old grandson lost their 37 year old father last summer…The Lord has been so faithful to them, as we help them to get through it.

  • Belinda


  • Anna

    Blessed are they that mourn for they shall be comforted!

  • Melissa

    Angela, I am so sorry for your loss and the grief you are dealing with now and in the days ahead. I am writing to you through tears myself, as my father passed away on January 9th, and I am still trying to process all the feelings. Our God is with us. You know that. I know that. And that is what will sustain us. But sometimes I cannot imagine that I won’t see my precious dad’s face again this side of heaven or hear his laugh (we shared a common sense of humor), or have him walk me down the aisle (I’m 53 and getting married for the first time, soon). But this life on earth is short compared to the time we will share again in eternity. I hang onto that every day. Sometimes it helps, and sometimes to be honest it doesn’t. With life comes ‘change’. Change is difficult, whatever the circumstances, for most of us. But the one thing that NEVER changes is our Heavenly Father’s love and care. Thank you, Jesus. And… I love you Dad.

  • http://www.flickr.com/photos/vol-au-vent/ Kiki

    what a beautiful, truthful and loving testimonial this is – a real ‘keeper’. It’s beautiful that you had such a loving, non-judgemental relationship. I think I will probably feel very similar to you when my mother dies. Just today I had a conversation with my ‘flower woman’ at the Friday market about what our family means to us…. how suitable that I should continue to read about this theme more and in such a loving way. Thank you very much Angela; I shall pray for him, you and your family…. Surely, God will receive him (have received him….) with a ‘huge angelic choir’ and a ‘Halleluja, now you’re with us….’ – it’s always ever the ones left ‘behind’ to be sad and disconsolate.

  • http://flowerpowermomma.blogspot.com flowerpowermomma

    What a sweetie you had for a grandpa. I really liked reading about him and how much you love him…and always will. The love doesn’t stop. The relationship changes, but the love continues.
    Many times people, my mom included, said ” I shouldn’t cry for them.” My response has always been, “yes, of course you can! That person is worthy of being missed. You had many experiences with them and now you’ll miss those. ”
    My mom has been gone 2 years this month and I still miss her. Still shed tears of loss. The intense pain does lessen with time, fortunately, but the loss is always there. I was blessed to have a Godly loving mom.
    Great thoughts you have shared. Often we think mourning is a sign of being weak and you reminded us all it isn’t. Prayers for your broken heart. I found writing was a great outlet for me, perhaps it is for you too.

  • LaVonne

    Angela, I am sorry for your loss. Thank you for being honest and transparent. I know it had to be hard, but judging from the comments, something that many needed. I remember that when my grandparents died, being told that we should not cry because they were Christians and were in heaven. I love your words, “But grief does not erase love or hope, it just means that your heart aches for more time with someone you cherish, while you’re celebrating that you had the opportunity to know that person in the first place.”

    Thank you.

  • http://mykingdomkids.blogspot.com Kresendo Smith

    I love your words I feel your pain. I buried my dad on my oldest brother birthday . I was glad he went on to glory never to feel the pain again. But I still hear him say my name…. I pray you are strengthen daily. my husband words to me when I lost my dad, because he lost his mom right after his high school graduation. .. I say to you…you never get over it, you just learn how to live with it. May God bless you
    Kresendo Smith

  • Becky Jones

    It is hard to loss someone that is dear to you. Our Heavenly Father has a special place for your grandfather in Heaven. 51 years ago yesterday my Mom went home to be with her Heavenly Father. Now we are waiting for this dear friend to go home to be with her Heavenly Father. She is a good friend, Bible Study teacher, Mom, wife, and grandmother as well as a great Aunt to her nieces and nephew that their parents passed away several years back. Our hearts go out to you in loving sympathy and love.
    May God be with you and your family.

  • http://www.lindseypbrackett.com Lindsey Brackett

    Angela, I know exactly how you feel. My grandfather passed on Jan 3, my sisters 18th birthday, and watching him suffer was the hardest part. He was our family’s rock and I can’t believe he’s gone. Thank you for endorsing grief as well as rejoicing!

  • lasabrae valverde

    So sorry for your loss. Praying you feel comfort and peace from our Heavenly father.
    I lost my grandmother 3 days before Christmas and that was tough. God knows I miss her. I only hope I can leave a legacy of love like she did.
    Thank you for this timely post.
    God bless you!

  • Hope

    Your words are beauitful and as I read them, the passage from 1 Corinthians came to mind before I read all the way through. Yes, the greatest of these is love. Love is the one action and emotion that does not end in death. I am thankful that you had such a special man in your life. Your children will know him through the stories you share and knowledge that you loved him for all the reasons you shared.
    As difficult as grief can be, it is a constant reminder to me of how much I loved that person.

  • laura

    Perfect story on grief and the loss of a dear loved one. I am sorry to hear of your loss. I also lost my Grandmother who was so special to me. Nothing could help me, I had to just grieve. Thank you for this story!

  • Mary

    Thank you for sharing your pain and your memories with us. I have experienced grief and loss at several levels, daughter, wife, friend, sister. No matter how much we know in our head that all is well, it still hurts. Only God can heal that hurt. It took me a long time to learn that when I was 17 and my dad died. Now I can say that God loved me and was there for me, even when I lost my way. Today I know He holds my hand and that through it all He has helped me grow. I am so glad you have such wonderful memories. You are truly blessed. May that love that you have felt all these years continue to be near you as you share your memories with your family so they too know this man who loved you so much. It works that way. God Bless

  • Peggy Forstad

    Dear Angela,
    I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my 21-year-old son to suicide nearly 15 years ago, and wanted to share a gem of healing with you. I was scheduled to lead the worship at a “Healing the Wounded Woman” retreat just two month after Aaron’s death. In the fog of all that comes with a loss, I hadn’t checked my calendar closely. When I discovered that was on my calendar in pen, I groaned, “Lord, I can’t possibly lead worship for these women now. This time, I”M the wounded woman.” Softly in my spirit, I heard, “Like you weren’t before? Trust Me, follow Me, and I’ll do it through you.” I remember little in my conscious mind, but my friend wore out two worship tapes from that conference. At that conference, the leader, Wendy Thomas, told me that studies have been done on tears, and tears of grief have a unique chemical construction. These tears are meant to heal you, and if you refuse to shed them, you will not heal. I can attest to that fact from experience. When I returned to my first year teaching job, not quite two weeks after his suicide, I was okay during the teaching week, but every Friday on my 30 minute commute, I cried the whole way home. I didn’t think too much about it, but when I went home after an early out on a Wednesday, and again cried all the way home, I asked out loud, “What is this about?” The Lord spoke to my heart, “I’m the only one in the car with you, and I’m not going to be uncomfortable with your tears, or tell you to suck it up and get over it. This grief is between you and Me.” What a relief! How priceless to know that our Father (who lost His only Son, too) would be there with an understanding unlike any other, as well as the ability to heal our shattered hearts.

    Grief does not make an appointment. It shows up at most inopportune times, and can take your breath away when you least expect it. This is normal. How long does grieving take? How many tears do you need to shed? Only He knows, and He will be there, catching each tear in the bottle He has reserved for you. Knowing He catches all my tears in a bottle also tells me there is a time when the bottle is full, and the work of grief is done. Because of the faithfulness of Our Lord, I know Angela, that this story of yours is not finished, but He will finish the work He has started in you. My prayers are with you as you grieve.

    Peggy Forstad

  • Margaret Polino Nicholas

    I am so sorry for your loss. I am actively grieving my 26 year old son. Overdose on his birthday 8-31-13. My 2 year old passed in 1992. She would be 24 this year. I don’t have the right words to say, I only know how grief physically and mentally takes a toll. I am a believer. I believe we will all be together again. Thank you for sharing your beautiful story.

  • tara

    God’s comfort and peace as only He can give….
    may i encourage you with words that have been given to me…in the many times that i’ve needed it…..change those “buts” into “ands”……
    you grieve the loss of your grandpa AND you were so blessed to have him in your life.
    you wish you could have heard him sing “happy birthday” ONE more time AND you can remember those times that you heard him sing.
    i think you get my point. there is no BUT when we live in reality with Jesus….there are only ANDs….
    AND the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your heart and mind through Christ Jesus. in the midst of the deep valley of grief!
    God’s blessings as you remember you beloved grandpa!!!!

  • http://godsdailymessageforthedense.blogspot.com/ Cynthia McGarity

    Beautiful words, Angela, and such wise sentiment. I lost Daddy a year and a half ago, and though the daily is ache has gone away, there are times that I still miss him terribly. It can be difficult when others – yes, even those closest to me – don’t understand the rawness of those feelings. But looking back, I too have been guilty of uttering placeholder words. So thanks for encouraging mourning…healing…feeling. It is only in experiencing grief fully, I think, that we can honor how He created us in our humanity, in our relationships and with our loved ones. You are dear…God bless you during this difficult time.

  • Lisa

    Oh my, Angela, how you put into the words the very things I feel! I lost my beloved dad just three weeks ago – and get the very same comments you’ve experienced! In fact, someone said to me today, “…but at least you still have memories of your dad.” Yes, but I still grieve and miss him terribly. Yes, I know he’s no longer in a broken body and in the presence of the Lord, but I miss him still. A part of my heart will never be whole again…the piece that was reserved just for him…my dad, the first man I ever loved. Praying for you during this time of loss…I know just how you feel.

  • Beth WIlliams


    Condolences on the loss of your grandfather. He sounds like a fun guy to have known.

    My mother died 4 years 5 months ago after a 2 year battle with dementia and years of heart trouble & stroke. It was “easy” for me at first when she died. I rationalized that she would be better off in Heaven and have her mind back. Also my dad would finally be free from the 24/7 caregiving duties.

    Yesterday (1/26/14) would have been her 89th birthday and was my 10th wedding anniversary. I find it hard still at times not to miss her. Certain songs, shows, movies, etc. remind me of the mom I once knew. I cry. Go ahead and mourn the loss of your beloved grandfather. Cry all you need to. Remember God said that he captures our tears and keeps them in a bottle for us.

    God Bless you! :)

  • Wilma

    Angela, I can understand the grief you are going through. I lost my husband 13 months ago. We had 49 years and 8 months together. He was the most kind and loving man I ever met. I miss him terribly. We have a 23 year old granddaughter who he loved dearly and she loved him. Like you, she spent a lot of time with her GrandPa since we cared for her from 3 weeks to 13 years of age. She could do no wrong in his eyes. He was a man that always had a smile and a kind friendly word for everyone. Everyone who knew him liked and respected him. My neighbors have cut my grass, shoveled my snow in his honor. Time and time again the Lord has brought a verse to encourage me and I hope it will encourage others who have lost someone they loved dearly. It is found in Deut.31:6: ‘Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified. The Lord your God goes with you. He will NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU.’

  • http://www.cloverscup.blogspot.com Clover Willison

    I LOVE this post. I have read, and re-read, smiling and crying through the words each time. You have so eloquently spoken my heart. Grandpa’s are the best and no matter how much time we were lucky enough to have them for, it never feels like enough. There is always longing for one more walk, talk, twirl and laugh. I just lost my uncle two weeks ago. We held his service on Friday the 24th. As I shared at his memorial, he filled many spaces in my life, a father figure, a big brother, an uncle but first and foremost he was one of my best friends. With only a 9 year age difference we great up closely. He was always my childhood hero. He suffered greatly the last couple years, he became a lost soul trying to find his place, he suffered the loss of his family, he watched his home burn to the ground, his health began to fail and there near the end he lost his spark for life. His laugh and his keen ability to make everyone around him smile started to fade a little. He was young, only 47. I would give just about anything for one more hour, day, week. So much left unsaid, and so many wonderful memories tucked away on the shelves of my heart….but none of them can replace the hurt and the pain, the life sucking yearning to just look into his eyes one more time. To share conversation across a table, to analyze life and then laugh about it. I appreciate your post, it’s timing and it’s sincerity because never in my life have I been able to relate more. Right now facing each day is challenge and it isn’t because I am not blessed. I am. I have so much to give thanks for and live a beautiful life, but I miss the man who meant the world to me.

  • Susan G.

    Grief is such a hard thing to go through… I pray His comfort for you as you are on this ‘journey’… Less than a month ago I lost a good friend…I miss her daily. My close friend just lost her beautiful 22 year old niece and grieves daily… And we ‘travel’ on…in His comfort…peace… and hope…
    Thanks for sharing your story of your lovely relationship with your grandfather.
    May He be close to you today.