Proverbs 14:1 says, “The wise woman builds her house, but with her own hands the foolish one tears hers down.” I love that verse, but it is sure convicting at times!
So what does it really take to build a house?
Here are five ways to build a beautiful home:
1. Wisdom.
If we want to be wise women, we need to learn how to be used by God to build a solid home for our family. There are so many conflicting messages in society about what it means to be a woman and homemaker!
Before turning to Facebook, Pinterest, well-intentioned authors or other women for advice or counsel on what it takes to build a home or being a wise woman of God, always go first to God’s word to see what He wants for us, our marriages and our homes. I read Proverbs 31:10-31 when I need a good Biblical challenge! I should probably reread it right now :-).
2. Attitude.
Do you ever have a sour attitude about doing housework, cooking dinner or managing your home? What about negative attitudes or careless words in your relationship with your husband? Gulp.
It’s so easy to blame circumstances and other people for our attitude, isn’t it? But when I read the second part of Proverbs 14:1, the part about “with her own hands the foolish [woman] tears hers down” I quickly remember my own responsibility for the state of my home. We can tear down our own homes in many ways! If we want to build a beautiful home, we have to keep watch over our attitude and actions around the house. No one likes a leaky roof in a rainstorm! Ahem. (Proverbs 27:15)
3. Hard work.
Rome wasn’t built in a day, nor is a home built overnight! We live in a world where we almost feel entitled to instant results and gratification with less effort. Procrastination, impatience, lack of planning and organization, or misplaced priorities can leave us with a home in chaos. We want a beautifully furnished and finished home NOW, even if it means our budget or family suffers.
Building a home takes time and hard work. It took me years of trial, error and practice to figure out a simple daily routine to keep up with my housework! It has taken me years of dedication and patience to create the still imperfect home I have now. My husband and I have spent years committed to our marriage and we still have so much to learn. We have spent years raising children one day at a time to know God and be responsible young adults. I’ve worked hard for seven years to build a business to help our family (and attempting to not sacrifice my home, family or church in the process!). It takes time, patience and perseverance to build a beautiful home that reflects Christ and nurtures our family. Building a home is hard but rewarding work! (1 Timothy 5:13-15, Proverbs 14:23)
4. Priorities.
Building a beautiful home isn’t about striving to make the popular page on Pinterest. A well-staged photo of our home, meal or DIY project might get lots of repins, but how we actually live behind the camera or Facebook status is a much better measuring stick for our success in home building.
Before you cringe and hide under the laundry pile, remember that a perfect home isn’t the goal. Being a good steward of what God has provided us so we can pursue more of Jesus and love for others helps us to focus our time on what really matters. Running a well-managed home definitely gives us more time and energy to serve God and others, just as striving for a perfect picture can consume and distract us in unhealthy ways. (Mark 12:30-31)
5. Gratitude.
If I think about building a beautiful home in terms of how expensive it is to create the perfect house, I lose perspective. When I think of everything I do all day to keep our house from falling apart, I can easily want to give up or cry. Every day there are more dishes to scrub. Every day someone gets hungry again. Every day the laundry piles up. What’s the use of making a bed we will just crawl back into again at night or sweeping a floor that will be once again covered by crackers in the afternoon? We fix one thing and a half-dozen things break. Money doesn’t seem to grow fast enough on our trees and it gets exhausting keeping up with a home.
But I need to remember that every time I cook a meal, wash another dish, make a bed, fix a toilet or clogged sink, or put on a smile instead of fussing over something, I’m showing gratitude for my blessings. An attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving turns what we do every day around our home and where we live right now into more than enough. (Colossians 3:17)
In what ways do you struggle or strive to build a beautiful home?
–Melissa @ The Inspired Room
Ashley Campbell says
Wow it’s unbelievable of the timing I read this post. Couldn’t be more on points. Thanks God! Definitely what I needed to read. I live with three other roommates two who aren’t Christian and I have been arguing with one of them over the decorations of our place! Sill right ?? We have different tastes and we can’t seem to compromise and I’m trying to not get frustrated over it but so easily my anger and frustration creeps in and I know I should not let it. Instead I should be concerned with how they are perceiving Jesus through me, right now not a very good job. So glad you posted this! Even in my apartment with 3 other girls I can relate. I’m thinking about Pinterest and making everything cute when I need to be worried about the example I’m setting. I definitely have been distracted with being too warped up in picture perfect!
Bev Duncan @ Walking Well With God says
Melissa,
At different times, I struggle with all of the above…yikes! I especially liked your line under “Priorities”… “Running a well-managed home definitely gives us more time and energy to serve God and others.” I often need to reevaluate my priorities as to why I want to have a well-managed home. And, attitude, how often does this need adjustment? Gratitude for having toilets to clean doesn’t come easy sometimes, but you are right on when you encourage us to have an attitude of gratitude for ALL that God gives us…even if it’s several bathrooms to clean.
Thank you for much needed encouragement!
Blessings,
Bev
Melissa Michaels says
Thanks Bev! It was a good challenge to me as I studied to write this article too, I definitely saw areas I need to remind myself of or grow in! 🙂
heather m says
Beautiful article : ) I am focusing a lot on gratitude this year. Our home is modest, but it provides a safe and warm place for us and that is something to be thankful for. I can struggle with not having enough money trees to do all the things I would like to do with it as well! It makes me get creative and use or re-use something I already have. Thanks so much for your encouragement here! I also have enjoyed reading your blog for a while now : )
♥
Melissa Michaels says
Thanks, and yes!!!! I find my creativity is stretched when money is short. I actually enjoy the creative challenge!
Krystle U says
Wow! I really needed to read this! I’m bookmarking this to read again and again!
Jodie G says
Loved this post and the idea behind it. Bookmarking it and wanting to go back and look up all those verses again later to journal. HOWEVER, would have loved if it had REAL images-the cluttered sink, the socks strewn down the stairs, the toys placed haphazardly across the living room floor. An article about my heart before the Lord before my house is perfect, but then using magazine worthy images felt sort of off and defeated the purpose-I fell in love with the color scheme and design of the living room photo, only to have to refocus myself on what the article was actually about ;).
Melissa Michaels says
Well, I guess i looked at it from the point of a well managed home (and gratitude for having dirty dishes that I cleaned up that day!) That’s my real living room and it’s the place I need to seek to build a beautiful home and heart in all the priorities and ways i mentioned above. :-).
Holly says
I agree with Jodie’s comments. Seems like the message is about Priorities and the picture-perfect room were in stark contrast to each other. A HUGE percentage of us in these United States live in luxury compared to so many others in the world. To wish/long for more money trees to meet our desires for more material luxury seems a siren song for healing prayer…………..for ourselves.
Lynne says
Thanks for the reminder to be grateful for what I have! It’s easy to focus only on what isn’t how I would like it to be…..Pinterest is a wonderful source of inspiration, but it can definitely be a two edged sword….
Tifani Gocmen says
Love this post! God has taught me so much over the years of building a home. Physical and spiritual home.. I “had it all” at one point, then went through a divorce. Funny how those things don’t matter when your life is in shambles. But now, I’m married and restored, and can’t WAIT to have those beautiful things again. But God has taught me so much when it comes to what’s more important..a beautiful “perfect” home, or a flourishing marriage. Having both is just a bonus 🙂
Kate @ Songs Kate Sang says
I love this quote – Being a good steward of what God has provided us so we can pursue more of Jesus and love for others helps us to focus our time on what really matters.
Thank you!
tammy @ grace uncommon says
This is so beautiful Melissa. And your words translate so well to every area of our lives – not just our physical homes but our spiritual ones as well. How often do we tune in to our news feed of choice to tune out from the messiness of our own house/life? {sigh}. Thank you for reminding me to practice gratitude in the daily messy, busy, unglamorousness of our lives and in so doing find that it’s all we really desire in the core of our spirit anyway. Blessings to you!
karyn says
I don’t like housework nor doing the dishes. I wish I had a dish washer now. The mess cooking creates in the kitchen. The hours of cutting everything up and then frying it and then putting them in a pot to slow cook. Hours and hours and hours.
I’m disorganized and need to get into some plan. A simple plan.
There is so much room for improvement but …. I need to improve in this area of my housework and home.
My marriage is excellent though. It’s perfect.
O there is so much love around us to make up for a life of messy.
🙂
Great post and wonderful advise for me, anyways. Perhaps not others.
🙂
Andrea says
I love this – especially the part about hard work (yes, I did just say that!) I struggled for a few years over that one – I didn’t want to do the work, but my house was literally in shambles and it was affecting all of us. Chaos begets chaos! When I finally got over the fact that the housecleaning fairies were NOT going to come over, I started to change my attitude and take joy in looking after my little nest again. Our home is so much more inviting and peaceful and miracle of miracles, our kids are starting to keep their rooms clean without me nagging!! I know!! Our home is not picture perfect, I am not a great interior decorator, and it is often messy with life going around us, but I love it and am so thankful for the gift in it that God has given us.
Chris Malkemes says
Thank you for a thoughtful and well written post. I remember the FIRST time I read that scripture verse nearly thirty years ago. On that day I looked down at my hands wondering where they had been and what they had done. It was so close to home. I then asked Him for help because I was so afraid I was causing more harm than good. He then showed me Jeremiah 33:3 “Call to Me and I will answer you and show you great and wonderful things you do not know.” So today, with your reminder, I look down at these weary 59 year old hands realizing the best thing I ever did was lift them up in true, free yieldedness of heart to Him who loves with an everlasting love. Wonder where these hands are going to take me now.
jules says
I love this Chris.
Susan Shipe says
Proverbs 14.1 is a powerfully convicting scripture, one I have taught and written on. Oh that we are builders.
Susan Strawn says
Let me start my comments with the fact that we serve an amazing, awesome God! Im in the middle of moving a family of 6 to a new house. It has not been under the best of circumstances but through the grim details God has blessed us with more than I could have ever imagined! But I am growing weary through the moving process. So as I sat to procrastinate before making multiple trips with yet more boxes, I went to Facebook and it didn’t go to my newsfeed-your article came up! My Heavenly Father knows what I need and when I need it. Reading this has put me more at ease and quieted that inner voice telling me it has to be done and perfect NOW. Thank you, thank you, thank you! !!!
Andrea says
Such great reminders about the true purpose of building and maintaining a Christian home. I especially appreciate all the Scripture you included!
Lisa says
Love is the perfect foundational building block to a successful home. Everything else is just perks. I enjoyed your article.
Susan Dominikovich says
Our furniture is shabby, our plates are chipped but our house is warm and people gather in it. The warmth… yes, insulation and a log-burner. But more than that I believe people meet with Jesus here. Bunting on our wall says “faith hope love” and under it is a cross. We are not perfect. I am sometimes unwise and often my attitude sucks, but above us and over everything is faith hope and love.
Myra Wells says
My mother was a perfectionist. Her home was a showcase, but I think people were afraid to be in it. She kept it spotless – you could eat off the kitchen floor on any given day, it was so clean. I strive for more of a “homey, lived-in look.” Sometimes it gets a little too lived in, but I strive for comfort. I want people to feel at home and cozy in my house. To be able to put their feet up and stay a while. Still, I wish I had an eye for pleasant combinations of furniture, colors, accessories. It brightened my spirits when you said it took years for you to find that. There is still hope for me yet!
Jennifer Frisbie says
“Building a home is hard but rewarding work! ” Yes! And I think I exhaled loud enough for people out on the street to hear me when I read that line. Shamefully this has been such an area of concern for me over the last few years. However, I am learning that it’s not the four walls and abundance of interior decorating that makes the home. Your post gives such great perspective about attitude and priorities. I know that sometimes I might have a bad attitude about the sheer magnitude of time it takes to just keep a home. I multitask until my arms nearly fall off. But if I set my attitude in the right place, learning to appreciate what God has given me – and ask Him to help me set those priorities – then I can relinquish control of that need to always strive for perfection. Thank you for your words. I’m definitely saving this post!
Becky Keife says
I love this, Melissa! God has definitely been refining me in the areas of attitude and gratitude. And it’s hard but it is beautiful. Your thoughtful words sum it up perfectly: “An attitude of gratitude and thanksgiving turns what we do every day around our home and where we live right now into more than enough.” Thank you.
Jana says
Beautiful and practical post. For me, a beautiful home is about atmosphere. Because even in a simple or sometimes messy space, a peaceful atmosphere can make all the difference. The hard work for me is keeping the mood light and relaxed during homework and the evening scramble to prepare dinner. Music helps. 🙂
Beth WIlliams says
AMEN Jana!!
I love listening to Christian music while I do housework or cook!
Satin says
Absolutely beautiful! Loved it!! Solid truth to live by! Thank you for sharing! ♥
deedee says
Wow did that hit me where He intended! It is so easy to fall behind in honoring and obeying. Blessings
mijin says
That verse convicts me every time I read it. Every. Time. It had been an adventure understanding what that verse means and realizing how I have the power to build or tear down. I finally made the decision to stop tearing down, but like you said- it takes a lot of hard work and years of it. For a while, I was blaming my husband for our problems. But then I took a hard look at myself and my attitude, realizing I had been tearing down our home with my own hands. I want to build up my family and my home the way God builds me up. Thanks for the list and reminder!!!
Angie Ryg says
“Being a good steward of what God has provided us so we can pursue more of Jesus and love for others helps us to focus our time on what really matters.”
Oh My, I needed that today. And how is my stewardship being perceived by my children who are watching every choice we make? Great tips here. Thank you!
Marbeth says
I always thought after everything is said and done, it’s the people who count, it’s not the house, but who resides in it. Does God reside in your House? I know He does in mine, even if I get a house or not, I will always have Him. And I say Amen to that!! I love you Lord God, My Savior.
Marisa Slusarcyk says
I moved over a year ago and am still living out of boxes and the place feels “trashed” as a result. Thank you for the reminder that these are things I need to get done so that my house can be my home and enjoyed by family instead of ignored. <3
Hope says
I love this post. So encouraging. I love point 1, I have lots to grow in that area. And point 3 is a good reader. Since I have only been married for a little over a year, my husband and I don’t have that dream home yet. Meaning a home where we get to decorate and have a bit more space. Yet we constantly remind one another that we’re blessed to even have each other. The home the way we envision it will come, in time. And if not… we will still be blessed.
Beth WIlliams says
Melissa,
You hit the nail on the head with this post! It takes hard work and a good attitude to build a house/home. It also needs gratitude for what you have without worrying about what you don’t have.
I try to add Jesus and joy into my home and make it a place of rest and refuge from the world plus a place to make memories and build relationships.
Blessings 🙂
Theresa FInch says
Wow! My friend shared this post on her Facebook today and I can’t believe how on point it is for me today……’Ok God I get it’ 🙂 Thank you for you’re words of wisdom and encouragement.