She was hiding in a corner of a bedroom, with her tiny arms pulled tightly around her knees, like she could build a cave out of her small self.
She was crying.
I picked up the wrinkled ball of lined notebook paper she had tossed beside the bed. And I knelt down, smoothing out the paper with my hands.
My little girl—my beautiful, God-created masterpiece of a girl—had drawn a self-portrait. She had labeled the parts with angry arrows and slash-and-burn letters:
“Boring brown hair. Stupid glasses. Dumb freckles. Bad teeth.” One word was scrawled across the top in big letters: UGLY.
I gently peeled her arms away from her knees. She crumpled into my lap. I told her again and again how beautiful and lovely she was. We sat that way for a long time, rocking and whispering and mixing our hot tears together in one salty stream.
I curled my toes into the carpet, and pledged right then to live the truth that I was trying to tell her with my voice.
Yeah, I had all the right answers for my girl: That she’s beautiful. That she’s enough in Jesus. That her identity is in Christ alone. That God’s approval is all that matters.
But was I really living those answers with my life?
The most important lessons in life are—as they say—“caught not taught.”
And what are our children “catching” from us when we scowl at our own reflections, when we tell ourselves we’re too fat, too wrinkled, too unqualified, too unworthy? What lessons do our children “catch” when we run from the camera — or when we run from a calling because we’re afraid of failing?
How many slash-and-burn portraits have we drawn of ourselves?
Little girls with little insecurities grow up into big girls with big insecurities—who despise the size of their jeans, and their houses, and their 401Ks. All because we forget about the size of our God.
We can be 25 or 45 or 75 years old—still telling false narratives to ourselves about ourselves. We see the flaws. We count up the ways we’re “not enough.”
That day on the carpet, I vowed that I would provide a firm foundation for my two daughters to know that a woman’s identity is found in Christ alone. I wanted to teach that lesson, not just with my words, but with my life.
Retraining my heart would take years. But I knew it was worth the fight—for me and for my daughters.
My girls and I started saying these words out loud: “We’ve had enough of the not-enoughs.”
We started telling each other that we’re “preapproved,” that we have nothing to prove. We are already approved through Christ Jesus.
Some days, old insecurities come knocking on the doors of our hearts. We’re tempted to tell lies about ourselves to ourselves when we’re rejected or knocked down or feeling not quite … enough.
But we keep right on telling the truth to each other. We keep right on telling each other that we’re loved, as-is, not as we think we should be.
Who knows? Maybe we will always have to remind each other—long after the girls are grown up, and I’m all gray.
But I’m okay with that. Because there could be worse things in life than reminding a person how dearly she’s loved by the King.
A Video Message for #PreApproved You!
To purchase a copy of Love Idol, CLICK HERE for a complete list of retailers. To read more about the book, CLICK HERE.
Rachel says
I need to remember that I don’t need to DO anything to catch God’s attention. I don’t even need to have a daily devotional or catch up with one of the younger girls in my youth group or anything else – not if it is just to “tick the boxes” of Christianity!! I need to remember that I AM loved and nothing I can or will ever do will make Him love me more or less.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
You are loved, and treasured, and positively ENOUGH! Thank you, Rachel for sharing.
Martha Smith says
Ever since I can remember, I have wanted to love me. I wanted approval.
With the gift of mercy/encouragement, that makes it very difficult.
Because I am an encourager, and a giver. However, in the beginning
of my life (age 3 -7) sexually abused. I do not remember all of what happened,
counselor stated, “It was too traumatic” to remember. I came out of that
with claustrophobia, severely shy, and unable to look anyone in the eye,
or read out loud in first grade. Only in the 10th grade, I began to come
out of my shell.
I later received a B.A. in English/Education, became a teacher.
And then the gift of pastoral care as a hospital chaplain with
the degree Master of Divinity allowed me to gleam all the Lord
had placed in my heart and healing was one of those things.
I am not “there” yet by any means. I think one of the most
wonderful ways I have given (this was a real giving moments,
and I am so thankful what the clients taught me) I was
a children’s therapist/with children in trauma such as
traumatic events, bereavement, guilt, sexual and other forms
of abuse/this was a private agency and I was able to work with
the children and their families.
How Good God is. He redeemed this shattering in my life.
However, I still feel the urgent need to help, give,
and encourage even to the point of not feeling well.
I have been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis,
fibromyalgia, atrial fibs, and cancer survivor, and
another cancer diagnosis, and asthma.
However, in spite of myself, smile… the Lord
loves me unconditionally. And it is still difficult
for me to receive. But after decades, I am beginning
to relax in His daily Grace. Amen.
Thank you for listening to my heart.
Martha
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Thank you for sharing, Martha. So glad you’re here.
susan says
our history is almost identical….. what a blessing to know there are others out there….. I ended up loving the Lord so very much, in so many ways and so deeply, it is hard for me to remember how it was before HIM! love
Cris says
Sometimes I need to remember that I am beautiful just as I am and that I dont need to fallow a certain patern of beauty. I need to remember that my value consist in who I am in Christ and not in all the things I do and that I continue to be valued even when I stop to make something
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
#truth
Glad you’re here, Cris.
Rachel H says
I need to remember that God loves me regardless of how well I perform. I don’t have to be perfect or have it all together.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Amen, Rachel. Amen.
Kristen says
Does every area count? I just need to remember God’s love for me period and what that means. I would love this book and have heard it is great!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Kristen … God’s got it, and God’s got YOU. In every area. Promise.
Janet says
I do not like small group settings and I tend to feelget insecure in them but one on one is wonderful 🙂 I would love the book. Thanks Jennifer!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
God loves you JUST as you are – and He is totally into that one-on-one thing. He’s an intimate loving God who “gets” you … and loves you. As you are. xo
Dori Cook says
I would love to see myself as preapproved as a MOM! Not a day goes by that I don’t second guess and wonder if I’m completely ruining my children for any future of a productive life! 🙂
Blessings,
Dori
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
I so get this, Dori. Praying that the God of all mercy and grace enfolds you and your beautiful family … and that you are able to extend grace to yourself, too. We mamas can be awfully hard on ourselves. Praying for you, #preapproved mama.
Tami Grandi says
I would say the one area where I need to truly bask in God’s approval of me is my physical body. I struggle with my body and living comfortably in my own skin. Being single it hits me hard and I fight the whole “if I were ______ I might have a guy” trap. I need to live a life that shows I am HIS!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
For you today: Psalm 45:11
Praying for your heart — beautiful and #preapproved. xo
Gail says
So many of us women feel we are not enough before our God. No matter the age. It would bring Glory to Him to just walk in confidence before Him each day. Not that we slack in our walk to Glorify Him, but to wait patiently as we allow His Power that is IN us to do it’s work. This book would be a wonderful tool to teach myself along with others to Walk In His Holiness! Thank you for this! God bless!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Praying that each of us would walk with GOD-fidence right where we are. Thank you, Gail.
Beverly Bullock says
Please enter me in the book giveaway.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
You are entered. And you are LOVED.
NJ Rongner says
i am so excited for this book. As a blogger it is so easy to fall in to the approval trap. I need to remember WHO it is that I’m writing for.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Yeah. Lots of opportunity for comparison and second-guessing and wondering whether you’re really being heard or understood. I get that, NJ. Praying for all of us out here on the big ol’ WWW, that we’d keep our eyes FIXED on Jesus. Keep at it, sister. You shine! xo
Erin says
Love this, NJ. I, too, struggle in this department. I go through seasons in my writing where it seems like the numbers are the only thing that matters. I’ve subscribed to the bloggers who say they’ll get you up to a million followers in a year, thinking that’s what I needed in order to feel fulfilled as a blogger. But recently, the Lord has spoken to my heart and reassured me that the words that fill up my screen are an offering to Him, for Him to use for His glory. Keep coming with your fish and loaves, sister. Keep showing up. I’ve seen how He proves to be faithful through this trial.
rochelle says
simply put… My expectations… Not About others, but myself.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Praying for you, Rochelle.
va says
One of them would definitely be my academics…I have been struggling with a lot of other things this year and as a result my grades have been not doing so well and it feels like I am such a failure if my grades are so bad when I know they could be so much better, especially when it is stress that has gotten in the way–not knowledge of the topics…I feel so frustrated with myself, but I know that God sees that I am doing my best to get through the day and my grades are not a reflection of my worth as a person.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Praying for you, for God to grant you enough grace for each day, for you to focus on the next step, rather than getting overwhelmed by the long journey. You’re doing in, va… Keep pressing into Jesus. He sees you. He loves you. You are HIS.
Mary says
I need pre-approval in many areas. Body image and usefulness in God’s service are the main ones. I was always confident as a younger person, but recently things have happened that have shaken my world entirely.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Mary, I am praying God’s message of preapproval over you right now. You are beautiful and in Him, you are enough. I’m so sorry that circumstances have shaken your world. I wish I could reach through the screen and hug you (if you’re the hugging type) … or at least to just sit with you, and listen. xo
Marilyn Lisenbee says
I expect too much from myself. I want to be more self loving and self accepting as Jesus is.
Marilyn L
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
May you feel FREE in Jesus to grant grace to yourself, just as God grants grace to you. Thank you, Marilyn.
Judy says
I’d love to read this Jennifer. I want to believe and live out of God’s pre-approval, and His “enough.”
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Thank you, Judy. Praying for God to speak a message of PreApproval over you today. xo
Michele Morin says
Waaaaaaaay too addicted to the check marks on my to-do list. God loves me for who I am and not what I do. Jesus did not come to be served by me.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Yes… A common area for those of us who are task-oriented, Michele. I get this. Thank you for sharing.
I know … Let’s both do something ridiculous and spontaneous today … something not on our neatly boxed list of self-expectations. Wouldn’t that be fun? 🙂
Karen says
I need to see myself as loving, caring and approachable. I am stubborn and critical in my own eyes!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Praying for you, Karen, … praying that the Holy Spirit would quiet the inner critic. You are loved and preapproved. You have nothing to prove!
Melanie C. says
Amen and amen! I relate to every comment made here. Sooooooo performance driven and critical. So ready for a heart change that leads to a new mindset. I am redeemed and reclaimed, reborn and being remade. May we all see ourselves through His perfect eyes!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
redeemed and reclaimed, reborn and being remade <—- Love that, Melanie. Thanks for the RE-minders.
marci says
Sounds like a great book! I feel I need constant reminders that I’m enough when it comes to parenting.
Ashley says
I need to work on self-confidence and understanding that I am pre-approved in every area of my life to be perfectly honest. I realized afresh this morning as I was texting with a friend that I have issues with a critical spirit towards myself (as does the friend I was texting). I also need to work on not allowing the insecurities I feel define me in my own mind. Those thoughts tend to turn into condemnation which God does not want for His children. God seems to be working on it and through it with me but I have a looooong way to go!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Praying that God will quiet the voice of your inner critic. Thanks for sharing, Ashley.
Mia B says
One area of my life that I struggle with significantly is being a mother.. I often feel like a failure that I am doing it all wrong.. I have this terrible habit of comparing my mother skills to other mothers always feeling as if i fall short .. I know that God loves me.. But i want to feel like a good mommy and often this isn’t the case for me
Melissa says
I need to remember that when God looks at me, he not only sees someone who is washed by the blood of the Lamb, but he also sees my heart, not my crooked nose, or pear-shaped body. He loves me and knows every hair on my head, and doesn’t care if they’re gray or frizzy.
Z. says
This is beautiful…I am on the journey to embrace that I am HIS Beauty. My daughter and son need to see me model this in my actions not words alone. I am that mom that has not been loving in my comments about others…I hold fast to the truth that in Christ all things are made new. As I continue to get in the Word to have my mind mtransformed, i am very sensitive to this as a woman and especially a mom. ((♡ the message))
Melanie says
I struggle in so many different areas from physical but mostly just to be bold & confident in who I am in Christ and in sharing him.
Richele says
I am so critical. I don’t want to pass that down to my daughter. I want her to walk through every door and always feel her God-given worth and approval!
Julie says
I want to believe and live that Jesus loves me and has redeemed me. Plus nothing I need to prove or do.
Sue VanHamersveld says
I’m tired of feeling needy – ‘need to be approved’ of’. It is time to be done.
melissa l. j. says
My weight. I need to know I am not the number of the scale. I am a soul with a body and the Lord loves me regardless of how high that number climbs.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
I am a soul with a body and the Lord loves me regardless. <—- A thousand times YES! Thanks for sharing, Melissa.
Katy says
I need this book. Parenting is tough and I need to remind myself that I can’t be perfect.
Jess says
I definitely need to be reminded that I’m loved just the way I am – that I don’t always need to be “improving” something. BTW – heard you on God Centered Mom podcast and look forward to reading your book 🙂
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
I so enjoyed my time with Heather! She is a blessing. Thanks, Jess.
Susan says
I need Jesus….I want to BE what He created me to be instead of focusing on always DOING. Performance is not grace!
Jaime k says
I need to be reminded that I am worth being married to an amazing man and having a healthy, whole marriage & family. And worthy of a great job that will let my strengths and skills shine.
I AM worthy, because He has made me worthy. I AM loved, right now, as is. I need that reminder everyday.
Thanks!
Kathleen says
i would very much like a copy of this book. This is something I struggle with, and I know I need to overcome so I can show my daughter how to lived “preapproved” and so that I can have the freedom to live that way myself.
Karen says
I have been “pre-approved” to teach women’s Bible Study….discovered that 7 years ago. Lately have been really having to fight back doubts each week as I prepare! I KNOW it is my calling and gift, just don’t like this season of doubt!
Stacy says
Many areas but to name one, as a mom to my children.
Maylee says
This is an area where I am currently dealing with my daughter. I remember that I was not self-conscious until in 8th grade but nowadays, girls are starting so early. My daughter is in the second grade only and already think she is too overweight. She is skinny as a stick and this makes me sad deeply. I continue to tell her that she is beautiful and it is not about how others preceive her. It is how she feels about herself. Easier said than done I must admit, even for us adult women. May we all remind these young girls that God made each and everyone of them beautiful in His eyes.
Courtney L. says
Oh, it’s definitely in my role as a mother. Every morning, I wake up determined to be a better mom than I was yesterday, and every day I do something that makes me feel like I haven’t done enough. I really struggle with this. I would love to read this book!
angella says
Most of the time, we are consumed in the routine of the day, that we do not expect this to change. i was, like everyday, up so early for work and like the heavens would have it, there was a sudden down pour of rain, i stood on my balcony, and sighed Lord, you have to make this stop…it quietly increased…i gave up went back inside, and realized i was hungry, i made a cup of tea and during this time i was quietly listening to the Spirit saying…God is in charge of your morning schedule..” It stopped raining, i put my empty cup away and left for work…what a dramatic/practical devotional!
Jamie Rohrbaugh says
Hi Jennifer, this really spoke to me today. Thanks.
Elizabeth Jones says
This has been a life long struggle. I’m so critical of myself and have always dwelt on my imperfections…if I was only…if I could just… I want my daughter to be confident in who God created her to be and I want her to know how wonderfully made she is and to be comfortable and confident in her own skin!
kerry says
12….17……24……39 and holding …. It seems the type of venue for approval changes but not the underlying theme….”not enough ” -in beauty or talent or finances or social contributions. But to remember that from the start He made me enough and loved me despite all my failings and chose to redeem me. And I am finally seeing that all these “not enoughs” are just strategic enemy distractions to keep me focused on self and not giving His acceptance and love to others.
Kristen Svajda says
Throughout my life, I have struggled with feeling less than beautiful for any number of reasons. I constantly compared myself to others – friends, strangers, whoever! – and always felt like I came up wanting. Wanting for something that I didn’t have. In this season, I’m battling against these same feelings in a totally new situation for me – pregnancy! I’m learning to love my body and to take care of it more carefully. Day by day, moment by moment, God is giving me the grace and perspective to see myself as He sees me.
Kim says
I need to know that there is nothing I can DO to make God love me more. I was raised in an environment where doing, meant approval. I want to know that no matter what, that I matter. Period. I would love to read your book!!
Audra says
Oh, my. I struggle with this daily. I needed to read this today.
JoAnn says
I need to remember to not be afraid to take part in conversations. My views and opinions are worth stating. My friendship is worth having.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Your voice has value. Your friendship has value. YOU are valuable. I pray safe places for you tonight, JoAnn … places where you know, soul-deep, that your contributions have value.
alison says
I Have a hard time being ok with my size
Taylor says
In singleness!
Marty says
Great post. I think most of us who have daughters have had the same struggles and conversations. I love the positive ways you are showing your daughters that they are enough because Jesus says they are. Thank you for the reminder today that we need to live out this truth in our own lives. 🙂
Camille says
In my marriage. I’m a newlywed, and I feel like I don’t know how to be a good enough wife, a good enough in-law, or how to feel like I’m still a good enough daughter.
Leslie says
Having grown up knowing God, it catches me by surprise these days to find that deep down I really don’t believe He delights in me. But He is constant in His affections, and is walking with me, so gently revealing the lies that hold me back from receiving His approval. It is a beautiful work and walk with Him.
Barbara says
I’m a mom of 2, one leaving for college soon. My marriage is an everyday battle and I look to God every minute of every day and am amazed at the love and grace he provides. I see so much of myself in my 18 year old and we are each on a journey to let go of the need for approval from others. I think your book will be a blessing to us!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Barbara, Your comment touched a tender place in my heart tonight, for a host of reasons. I want you to know I’ve prayed for you.
ro elliott says
Yes… it’s a whole new ballgame when the gray is here… so much of what we poured our heart out for is now moved on… our children… and not only our children… but much of what we were involved with because of our children… it’s exciting… but also brings new defining of our worth… more freedom from performance and being seen for what we do. love love all that is going on through your book and through your life. continued prayers to you my friend!!!
Kathy Sturgis says
Wow the book sounds wonderful. I need help realizing God doesn’t require perfection.
Sarah Hurst says
I can remember being in high school and having a list that said: ” I can’t sew, I can’t cook, I can’t…, I can’t …, I can’t.” It was the song that played over and over in my head and I even had it down on papaer. So glad to realize that God is not in the can’t but in the “it’s ok if you can’t, just do what you can.” I am learning though God’s power just what the “cans” are for my life and I am so much more content and even joyful on some days. There is much more for me to learn…can you?
Pattie says
I am raising two teen girls–I think this book would be truly helpful for me to read. I would like to see myself as a mother in truth, as God sees me.
Nanette says
I am almost 60 yo and I am still so insecure about my weight…I want to see the beautiful woman God sees…
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Psalm 45:11 … Praying it over you tonight.
Brenda says
I would love to win this book. I would love to see myself as God sees me and not as my past defines me.
Jean Lindsay says
Oh how I needed to hear this. As I age and see my youth slip away. That once trim body no longer as trim and thin, the skin showing wrinkles caused from the yrs of caring for husband amd children, watching my mom slowly die. I often look in mirror and find myself hating what looks back at me. Yes I need this book to remember the real me, thank you for taking the time to write it.
God bless,
Sarah m says
I have a hard time seeing the value of my body when it’s always been bigger than normal, despite my diet and workout schedule.
Anna says
I would love to see my emotions and feelings as God sees them. I would love to see my body as God sees it. I would love to see me how God sees me. Thank you for your promise to pray. Desperately in need of it today. And thank you for the book giveaway.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Anna … I am praying for you all by name tonight. Asking God right now to give you eyes to see yourself as He sees you: Loved. Beautiful. HIS.
#preapproved
alyssaz says
I am worthy and wonderful! I’ve had enough of not being good enough
anna {girlwithblog.com} says
AMEN, Alyssa!! xoxo, girl.
Jules says
I need to refrain from saying that I’ll never be beautiful… Gid made me as I am and I am beautiful because God lives in me….
Sally t says
As a fairly recent grad, I find myself battling to remember that my GPA and resume are not my value!
Nancy says
I simply need to remember that I am enough… already! Even though I’m a grandma, I still struggle with not being good enough for my own mother… I’ll never live up to her expectations, and I need to let that go completely. She’s not the one to please! I live my life to give glory to God and to bring Him joy. He says I’m enough, and that’s all that really counts.
Kris D. says
Approval has been a lifetime issue for me. I would love to be able to let go of the need for approval. I have always felt like I wasn’t enough. I have never thought to myself “yeah, I’m enough” I always seem to think “If I do ____, then I’ll be good.” It’s exhausting, and I’m tired of it, but I don’t know how to break the cycle.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
That blank line up there? … It haunts us and tries to control us and manipulate us. Praying for you tonight, Kris. Praying for all of us, as we say ENOUGH of the NOT-ENOUGHS.
Rebekah says
This spoke directly to my heart, I have been struggling with this lately. I have such a hard time seeking the approval of others. I would love a copy of your book!
Lidia says
All my life I have been labeled with ” you’re a silly girl, you don’t have a clue about life, naive, ugly, only good for a laugh, don’t express your feelings because they’re probably not good anyway”… And the sad part this came mainly from my family… And my dad’s death when I was 8 only confirmed to me, in my childish mind, that all that must have been true because he didn’t want to stick around for me…25 years later, I am going through a very challenging time in my life, and all those labels are coming back, biting hard at my soul… I know God loves me, I know I am His beloved, I know who I am in Him, but on the hard days, on those days when all you can feel is pain, it’s hard to FEEL who I am in God…. I know it, yet I struggle to feel it because of the loud labels trying to stick to me again. Does any of this make sense?!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Yes. It makes sense. That inner critic is LOUD, and it learns how to taunt us early. I’m guessing your inner critic’s voice sounds like all of those outer critics who hounded you when you were young.
God is singing a different song over you, telling you that you are loved and beautiful … and enough in HIM. I pray that you can tune into the frequency, a voice of truth.
Praying….
Linda H says
I have lived my whole life with “not enoughs”. I am really ready to let that go and live from God’s truth, because of Him I have everything I need.
Debbie says
I have never left a comment on anything before and am hesitant to do so now. I can hardly see to type this though the tears. I have never been enough and am exhausted trying to be. I appreciate your prayers.
Kristi Ottmar says
I’m praying for you today.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
((((Debbie)))) … What I wouldn’t give to reach through the screen and hug you. Tears here, with you and for you.
Karen says
I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE A COPY OF THIS BOOK TO GIVE TO MY DAUGHTER WHO IS PRESENTLY INCARCERATED, SERVING OUT A SENTENCE PARTIALLY DUE TO FEEING NEVER “GOOD ENOUGH”. Wearing glasses and being called “4-eyes”, being teased because of her extreme intelligence, overweight, thyroid issues, eye surgery, never feeling “good-enough” . . she ‘settled for less’ in her life with 2 failed marriages and now a record of theft – to have as much and be ‘as good’ as the others. Oh, if only…… I would love for her to be able to have a copy of this to read. Thank you for the opportunity to perhaps be selected. She has “lived” this and hopes to counsel when she is home once again.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Karen … I have a special place in my heart for the imprisoned. Please know that I am praying earnestly for your daughter tonight, and will ask my husband to do the same. He is actively involved in prison ministry.
Natasha says
Great post! I have found that as I get older I am becoming more and more comfortable with who I am and how God made me. Occasionally though, I still struggle with wanting to be a better mom, wife, nurse etc.
Jamie says
I have always felt a calling to minister to young girls who are struggling with their self-image. I have grown up struggling with it my self-image and finding out who I am and what I am here for. I grew up in a family that did not have God in our lives. I watched my sister struggle with finding someone to love her unconditionally. She struggled with drugs to the point she tried to take her own life at 15. Then at 16 she got pregnant hoping that she would finally have someone to love her unconditional, you cam image how that turned out. Her family has headed down a rocky road ever since and she is still seeking that unconditional love at age 40 that she sought when she was 15. My sister was and still is a beautiful woman! Five nine, long blond hair, a size 3 most her life, and modeled and was in pageants until she was 16. She still calls herself fat and ugly and the more she looks at herself that way the more drugs and alcohol become a part of her life. I pray for me sister but I still feel like I fall short. We have started a girl’s lock-in at my church that we want to do twice a year, to help these girls understand who they are in God. We just did our first one and I think it went great! We are using the book Head to Soul Makeover. I read about your book coming out and I would love to have a copy of it to use it for our lock-in and pass it on to my sister. I still struggling with my self-image but since God found me I know he has created me to fulfill his purpose and I feel he is leading me down a path that will help young girls not go down the path my sister did. Thank you so much for writing a book that I know could not have been easy and for sharing with other women your struggles.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
I am praying for you and your sister.
Michelle Murphy says
Too many times have I gotten my worth for the day from the number on the scale in my bathroom. Good numbers meant feeling confident and in control. Bad numbers meant failure, disapointment and condemnation for the day. I know in my head that God loves me no matter what the number shows, but that fear of not being “acceptable” in the area that our society says is SO important constantly nag at the back of my mind. Would love to read this book!
Becky says
I need to remember that I am in enough in every area of my life. I have hated just about everything about me since I was an adolescent. I was teased into adulthood about how I looked more like a boy than a girl. I was an athlete so it made it easier for people to make fun of me–especially since back then there were no girls sports teams. If I wanted to play, I had to play with the boys. My mom told me many times that when I was born and they told her I was a girl, she said she didn’t want a girl. I have worked hard on so many issues yet still know that I have messed up as a parent to two now-grown girls (22 and 18). I can’t go back and do it again, but I want to try from now on to not put myself down so much. I often say “I’m fat” or “I’m so ugly” and “I hate my hair” and ” I look so old” and many other negative things that my mind now believes as truth.
Anna Rendell says
Oh Becky, thinking of you and praying this – from Zephaniah 3:17 – desperately over your heart tonight:
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
Peace, sister.
Kristi Ottmar says
I am preapproved to be my husbands wife. I don’t have to audition today. I am enough ’cause Christ lives in me. WOW I need this book
Anna Rendell says
Truth, girl. Preach.
Debbie says
Loved the post. I would love to see me needing less of the world’s approval and more of God’s. Trying to “be still and know that he is God” and is enough. Would love to win the book
Anna Rowland says
I would love this book to help me overcome my securities of not being enough in my work. I struggle with thinking I am not good enough, dont work hard enough and I am wearing myself out doing the best I can, yet still struggle with this.
Danielle Christy says
This was a great post, thank you. I need to be reminded of God’s approval in my beauty and I need to be reminded of His approval and calling in my writing. It’s so hard to not measure ourselves to other people, but in the process we forget that God didn’t create us to be other people, He created us to be us.
Catherine S says
This book sounds like something I need to read. I have just retired from my job and am contemplating “what’s next?”. I know God has a perfect plan so anything that can help me follow closer after Him is welcomed!
Stephanie says
I grew up in an alcoholic home, and as a result, made some very poor choices when I was younger. As an adult, mother, and wife to a pastor, I struggle with letting go of the guilt that I still feel over some of those choices, and the feeling of not ever being good enough or deserving enough of my family’s love or the love and forgiveness of God (even though I know without a doubt that I am washed clean and forgiven)! I see some of the women in my church that just overflow with the love of Jesus, and I wonder why I can’t be more like them. Please pray that God will use me as he sees fit, and that I will clearly see what His will is for my life.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Praying, Stephanie. Promise.
Michelle says
I need to remember that I already have God’s love whenever I do/say something that doesn’t fit with my view of what’s acceptable – to know that I’m already accepted and the actions come out of that, they don’t cause it.
Amanda Peterson says
What an encouraging book. Thank you for writing on this topic. I get so critical of myself and need to listen to God more.
Kristi Snell says
I still struggle with thinking there is more I can do for God’s approval. I would love to read your book…
Lara says
I am preapproved! Yes, I’m going to think on this till it sinks into the deep places of my heart and mind. Thank you so much, I would love to read this:)
Heather smith says
This looks like a fantastic book! I think that we all struggle with areas where we don’t feel like we are enough. I would love to read this.
Meredith Bernard says
Oh, yes, I need this book. And I need God to show me how I can possibly be the mother He has planned for me to be. The mother that He cut me out to be. I see every way I fail and every way others don’t and can’t figure out how to get “there.” Thank you for sharing your story and your words. If I don’t win, I will buy it soon. Blessings!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Meredith … I understand what you describe here–seeing the shortcomings in ourselves. That was my life story, and I am so grateful for the process that God took me through to free me up from that. Honestly, it’s a daily process, and I don’t have it licked. But I am grateful for a God who daily reminds me who I am and Whose I am. Know that I am praying for you, Meredith, as well as every woman in this comment thread. Slowly making my way through these comments and asking God to bless each one of you.
Heather says
I’d love to see myself as competent in the area of mothering a teenage daughter with a disability and two younger daughters that aren’t disabled. I carry so many concerns about all three of them. I’d love to win the book!
Anna Rendell says
Grace upon grace to you, Heather.
Vicki says
I love to see the “real” me that Jesus sees. I feel like I’m identified as all these other things: wife, mother, grandmother, friend, pastor’s wife, co-worker….I feel I’ve lost MY identity. I’d love to see the REAL ME!
Julie says
Still working on the truth that I don’t have to do anything or be anyway to earn God’s love. he delights in me. He chooses to be with me Such a powerful message for the basis of your book. A word desperately needed today
WifetoMr.Grand says
I’d love to win the book, but I’d love for these ladies to see how my heart breaks for each of them, we all have the same insecurities and should be helping carrying that burden. I have two teenage girls who are just beginning to see how women hurt each other and sadly, they might continue to see that as they get older too. I pray that they know their self worth lies within their relationship with Jesus
Lara says
I wish I could seey past the way God does, in the past. Too often I think about the bad choices made and wonder how He could love me after that
Sierra says
I have been struggling with my self-image for the past year. After I got married I gained weight, which is typical. I didn’t really care until other people started noticing and make snide remarks. It hurt so much and want to be free of other people’s approval. I know God loves me just as I am, and I want to take care of my body for him, not for the approval of others.
LeeAnn Taylor {The Mosaic Life} says
I need the reminder that I don’t have to be perfect to be beautiful (thanks to The Nester for the frequent reminder!) but I need to apply it to my life, not just my house. It’s God working in me that’s making this transformation happen and the freedom is glorious. It’s just a process and I’m sure it always will be!
chris says
“I am fearfully & wonderfully made.” I’d like that tattooed on my brain.
Anna Rendell says
You and be both, Chris!
brooke says
My struggle is with “having it all together”. That I have to earn God’s approval… Thanks so much for using your life and talents for Him. Congratulations on the book. 🙂
Elizabeth says
That I am worthy of being loved in my deepest, most secret parts. Thank you for this giveaway!
Trudy says
I need that “pre-approved” stamp in every area of my life. I so wish I could see myself every day, every hour, every minute as God’s pre approved, beloved treasure, but it’s so difficult to get out of this not-enough default mode I have lived all my life. I so often shoot myself with condemning words, and I keep trying to remember – If God doesn’t condemn me, why do I keep condemning myself? I can more easily see others through the eyes of Jesus, but it’s a daily struggle to see myself through His eyes.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Trudy … It’s the default of many women. But I believe … no, I KNOW … that we can retrain our brains, with Gospel and with the sisterhood of Christ, all shouting it out together: We’ve had enough of the not-enoughs. …. And then we can LIVE it.
Karen Sue says
I would love this book. I struggle with being too judgmental and critical
Barbara says
I see myself as a failure because I see through a grid that is my Dad’s voice. He was critical of my all my life. I would like to “see” myself as Jesus sees me!
Cynthia says
I struggle with the need to be approved. I hate it! Some days are better than others. I know God loves me but I put such an importance on being perfect in everything I do. Thanks for touching this topic.
Karen Miller says
I struggle with feeling inadequate re my appearance.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Hello heart-sisters … all of you, beautiful and #preapproved!
I want you to know that I am slowly going through each of your comments, and praying for you individually. Even if I don’t get a chance to respond to each of you directly in the comments, please know that your words are being read, and your hearts are being prayed for. Every one of you.
Love, Jennifer
Faye Kroese says
And I am praying for you Jennifer. You are a very special woman of God!!! Love the words He gives you.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Thank you, Faye. That means so much.
Sarah says
Would love this book! I have spent most of my life fighting the demons of approval of others while preaching Galatians over and over to myself. Praying those things would soak in deep and would love to read this ! Thanks for caring what is going on in others lives enough to share your hurts!
Debbie says
I’ve struggled with my weight all my life. I want to stop feeling “less-than” because of it.
Jessica says
I need to remember that I am NOT perfect and that is OKAY! I will never be the perfect wife, mom or woman. God did not call me to be perfect, but to be obedient to Him. I am working on my constant seeking of other approval for all that I do.
Cherise says
The flip side of “not-enough” is being “too-much” in my past experiences. The reactions of others have made me feel too passionate, too intense, too enthusiastic or too conscientious–too “whatever” it is that puts me outside the circle of normalcy. And then at the same time, there are all the normal pressures to be “enough” in other things. Jesus has been peeling back the layers of self-sufficiency slowly, but I’d love a book on this topic!
Heidi says
Having lived most of my life overwhelmed and overweight, I find it hard to shake the “fat girl on the sidelines” image in my head. Having achieved a healthy weight, I wish I could just enjoy my new self and not be so worried about making sure that I meet external expectations. I am looking forward to reading this book.
SheriW says
Approaching age 65 with the same hang ups about looks & weight and perfectionism that I had when I was 13. Would rather not carry this baggage to my grave!
Betty-Jo says
What a wonderful book. I would love to win this to help not only myself, but my two girls. We need to remember God loves us just as we are and that is all that matters. We are fearfully and wonderfully made.
Sandra says
I need to remind myself that I am preapproved when I see this face with new lines appearing almost daily it seems & when i have regrets over things I have failed to do as a parent. Thank you for the encouragement!
Jenn says
My weight has always been a struggle for me. I’m not super heavy, but just enough to make me feel bad about it. But recently I’ve been working out more and eating well, and even though I haven’t lost a ton of weight yet, I feel good. I feel God telling me he’s proud and I’m beautiful just the way I am whether I get down to me “goal weight” or not. This book sounds awesome! I’m such a people pleaser so I’m sure it’ll speak right to my heart!!
Anna Rendell says
That is just exactly what He is telling you, Jenn!
Marie Bride says
Jennifer,
It stirs my heart as I experience the calling in your message to lay down the Love Idol of not being good enough I am trying to do this & share with those Christ has brought in my daily path.
Thank You for having the courage to write & share this calling with such passion!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
I have greatly appreciated your encouragement, Marie, and the ways that you have generously shared the message with your friends. You’ve been a true courier of the the Love Idol Message.
Janice says
I would love to see myself as God sees me in the area of being a giving person. I am always trying to be selfless and do for others but often feel like I have not done enough.
Crystal Walton says
I’m really amazed at the amount of healing God has already done in this area of my life. Particularly with re-framing my self-image through His eyes. More recently, I’ve been wrestling with the tug-of-war between looking for outside affirmation in my calling as a writer and finding contentment and assurance in God’s delight alone.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Praising God for the healing that He has brought to you life, Crystal.
Hope says
I started working on a post this morning. In my family we have traffic light relationships. Sometimes you’re in, sometimes you are out. A year and a half ago my sister decided for the second time she doesn’t want me in her life. It’s a very painful thing. I want my big sister to accept me, to love me but for some reason (unknown to me) she doesn’t. I needed to have a serious sit down with God this morning. I need to be reminded that He wanted me and thus created me. For Him I am enough and I pray that will be enough for me too.
bonitarose says
HI there, I would love to win a copy of your book! I have my own and am reading it now and will do a blog post of my own about your book, but I just wanted to say… I’ve struggled with this my whole life… such a horrific life in some ways… and even now as a woman in my 50s and in ministry, I still struggle with feeling I’m good enough. I doubt myself all the time. Thank you for writing this book. I have a few friends that need to read this book.. I’d love to win! xo bonitarose
michelle h says
my parenting!
Deb says
I feel like I have a gaping hole of longing to be loved that can never be filled. I know it can be filled with God’s love but my feelings don’t always seem to match that fact. This sounds like a great book with a great message!
Hope says
PS your post started out so sad. I could totally see that girl curled up in her room. I cannot imagine encouraging a girl to believe something different about herself, other than how she feels or what peers are telling her. I love your solution and commitment to girls in general. Very powerful. We need that voice!!
Irma says
Hi! Would love to win a copy of your book and learn more about letting go of others approval and seeing myself as God sees me 🙂
Aileen says
As I am turning 50 this year, I would love to look in the mirror and see the women God sees. My self esteem has been an area that God is constantly working on in me!
Amy says
Honestly, there is not an area of my life where I don’t need to remember that. I was raised in a performance based family, where the bar was constantly being raised, and I was constantly falling short. Even today, at age 40, I am frequently reminded by my mother that if I had only applied myself more in high school, my GPA would have been higher, and I could have gotten a full scholarship, instead of a partial one.
Corinne says
I really need help with this. I am the little girl in your
story, the problem is… I still am even as an adult. i am truly
ugly…just never was one of the pop tart type idols everyone
admires and loves……I came to Christ Jesus because He loves
me no matter what I look like…He created me as I am and says
in His word that beauty is from the inside. It is easy for me to write this and even
believe this when i am alone with Him…..but, even around other Christian women
I am always comparing and then retreating…to the back row…eventually home.
Even fellowship is difficult for me. I covet your prayers as I want to stop comparing
and then hiding…i want to be used of God. I know it’s a spiritual battle, but I really need the
prayers!!
Thank you, Corinne
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Corinne, My heart cracked when I read your words: “I am truly ugly.”
Not true. Not. True.
I am praying for you to see yourself as God sees you, for God to retrain your eyes. And for God to give you a fresh new confidence in which you no longer feel isolated or feel the need to hide.
Ellen says
Gosh…I’m so glad to know that I’m not the only 50-something who still struggles with this! I had the most wonderful, supportive parents in the world, but somewhere along the line I decided that if I wasn’t perfect…I’d be a disappointment. Since perfection wasn’t ever achievable, I was never enough in my own mind. Not thin enough, not smart enough, not popular enough, not brave enough.
This is important work you’re doing!
Dana S says
I would love to see myself the way God sees me in my weakness.
Amy KW says
ONE area?! How about — um — oh, I don’t know — LIFE?! Holy cow, do I let the enemy sneak in wayyyy too much. I try to stand strong in my faith, in knowing I *am* loved, preapproved, but all too often, I doubt…..my appearance, my abilities as a teacher, my ability to maintain a neat/organized/tidy home, any time I attempt something new, or step outside my comfort zone. I need to get my hands on this book, one way or another! 🙂
Phronsie says
So hard to just pick one area. Just me as a whole, really. I see so many things about me that I think are “wrong”, and I KNOW otherwise because God doesn’t make mistakes, but it’s so hard for me to see myself the way He does. I’ve always been the plain jane, quiet girl in the corner that no one talks to.
Kelly says
Sometimes I need to remember that God doesn’t intend for me to do everything all at once and that He wants me to come to Him for rest.
Celine says
For me sometimes it’s the need for good friends the wonder of what makes someone else more worthy of being friends with someone and why it isn’t me.
Christie Riegelhaupt says
I want to see myself as God sees me in my lacks and empty spaces– as a father since my father is not emotionally available, as my husband who can take care of me since my husband is disabled, and as a healthy woman when I continually numb with food.
Vicki says
… As His disciple.
Adriana says
When I feel my weakest, when I feel inadequate, when I look at myself and see more negatives than positives I’d like a true vision of how God see me at those points in time.
becky j says
WOW, body image..plump and middle aged…but asking Jesus to conform me to His image day by day!! 🙂 Thanks for the prayers and giveaway!!
Joan says
Comparison
Clarissa says
I’m so excited to eventually read this, and I would love to win a copy!! 🙂 I tend to “go go go,” basing my identity on performance & living up to expectations. God is working on me, though. 🙂
Kay says
Thank you for your prayer for me…I struggle with believing the lower the number on the scale, the more I’m worth. I would love to read this book.
Heidi says
Having moved and started working in a new industry, I feel like I fall so short in my boss’ eyes and am losing my passion day by day. I need to find what makes me come alive again but my confidence has been so wounded in the process following several life-changing events.
Marge says
My biggest problem is with self worth. And I know it is only Jesus who makes me of value – His grace, His forgiveness, His death and Resurrection! Thank you for writing your book, Jennifer!
Brook says
I need to remember I can’t make everyone happy…and that God loves me just the way I am.
Lana says
Feeling comfortable in my own skin. Trying my best and never being good enough. As a daughter a wife a mother…. to believe in His Word not only in my head but deep inside my wounded heart. That I would be able to be filled with His extravagant love and pour out extravagant love on other broken children of God ♡ John 10:10
Deb says
After losing my husband to cancer very young, selling his company and our house I fee like I must have done something very bad in life to lose so much. My girls need their father and I hurt more for them than myself.
Tristi says
Being ok with who I am no matter what size I am. Accepting that God made me passionate for a reason even if it may send others running. Sometimes I don’t even know what it is that makes me feel unloved. I just see that my life doesn’t always reflect that I believe I am preapproved. Looks like a good read!
Heather says
I asked my husband what would make him feel respected. He told me to be confident and no negative self-talk. I want my head and heart knowledge to know who God is and who I am in Him. So many of my insecurities are tied to hurtful words from other girls growing up, and being sexually abused as a child by a family member. I always strive to please others and have struggled with not living life due to fear of others disapproval. My insecurities are numerous and sometimes mirror in my two small children. I want to know God more and know who I am in Him. The only thing I want my kids to ‘catch’ is knowing Christ and making Him known—that they fully know where their worth comes from…God and God alone.
cheryl says
My plain Jane self. I’m not happy with how I look
A mee Teal says
I have recently entered this dark cave of guilt, self loathing and condemnation. I wrote in my journal about a week ago all the negatives I was feeling: I’m fat, disgusting, gross loosing my teeth as they crack and break, my hair looks like a rats nest, and I claim to love God but continue to struggle to let go of addictions to sodas and the like!! SODAS!!! REALLY, I CLAIM TO LOVE GOD AND CAN’T STOP EATING ICE CREAM AND DRINKNG SODAS! I don’t know how to see myself as Christ sees me when I see my real self, and I’m afraid. .. I stay in His Word on my knees in groups in classes and still I look like I look and act like I act. …I DON’T KNOW HOW TO RECEIVE “I HAVE BEEN MADE NEW ALL OLD THINGS HAVE PASSED A WAY” PLEASE PRAY ON MY BEHALF I sincerely believe God has a huge call on my life. .. To write speak lead life coach but I can’t get past my own head’s obstacle course to move outside of my four walls. ..
Anna Rendell says
You are not disgusting and gross. You were MADE by a God who loves and sees past all our ick, all our unpresentables. He actually delights in you, and He is sad when you are sad too. It is so possible to love Him and still struggle with addiction, Amee. I will be keeping you near in prayer and specifically asking Him to help you feel rejoiced over, deep deep down:
For the Lord your God is living among you.
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.
-Zephaniah 3:17
nina says
I just want to feel that i am enough and am loved in spite of my shame, guilt and insecurities.
Thank you.
Edna Polichnia says
My daughter & I could both benefit from this book and a copy would be greatly appreciated!
Abigail says
Please include me in the book drawing.
Joanne Peterson says
I have struggled with feeling since I have been young with I’m not smart enough, talented, or capable enough. Other people may have seen it, but I have not. I struggle with having two boys we adopted later in life that I am enough, especially with feeling like I can’t physically keep up to them, and giving them what they need even though the Lord told me He would give us everything we need to raise our two boys. I also am feeling very unattractive with all the weight I have put on the past three years. I need to live free and live in Christ.
Stephanie Hanes says
This book is on my wish list. LOVE your heart behind this.
emily says
I would live to see me as God
Mary M says
This sounds like a book I’ve needed to read everyday for the last 35 years!
Body image and feeling worthy to be used by God are areas where I struggle.
Jen says
The area of life that I struggle most in is really all areas. Because I still struggle with perfectionism. So, I guess I need to learn that I’m “pre-approved” even when I’m struggling with those chains! 🙂
emily says
I want to see me as God sees me as a wife and mom, when I wonder, “what was He thinking?” It would be nice to have his vision. Was tearing up as I read this knowing this moment will come one day with both my little girls, and praying that they will choose Jesus and know their identity is in him, and he is always enough.
Wendy says
I’ve always had some shame about being an introvert like it was a bad thing that I’m quiet and introspective. I’m trying to remember the verse that says I wonderfully made by god. I think this book would help me. Thanks
sarah says
Some days I think I am over my habit of people pleasing. It feels nice to make others happy, but I have to check my motive. Is it for me or for them or the Lord?
Liz Reyes says
The area that I would love to see myself as God sees me is that I truly am beautiful. I want to know it in my heart and feel it. I want to wake up without any insecurities and be the old Liz. I have been damaged spiritually and want to break this chain off me.
Anna Rendell says
Liz, I have struggled with my chains of ‘old me’ too. It’s so painful to wish you were the better version of yourself that we remember. I choose to believe that the today version of myself, while tarnished, has had more love and more life and more trials and more healing than that girl. But somedays it’s not very easy to convince myself of that, and those days are when I cling here (2 Corinthians 5:17) – ‘This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!’
That is a promise and one I will be praying you believe.
Jami says
I wish I thought I was a better mother. God gave me this gift and he knows I am better than I think I am
Carmen says
I’m always looking to others for approval and need to work on pleasing my God instead of everyone else.
ashley morris says
I need to know I’m enough as a wife & mom.
Annette says
I would love to see myself preapproved as a mom! I struggle with other insecurities as well but my biggest worry is that I’m ruining my children! I would love to just see myself through rose-colored glasses and know my identity is in Christ and nothing else. Adding your book to my wish list in case I don’t win! 🙂 Thank you!
Deb Markus says
Insecurity has been a constant shadow for much of my life, what do other’s think of me, do I measure up, will I be chosen? All the shame messages rolled up into one BIG LIE
When I allow HIS LIGHT to shine in the dark places then the shadowy lies disappear……truth weighs more than lies!
Struggle to remember, fall again to the lies … Want to read your book Jennifer! Blessings to u,
Bridget says
I struggle with chooses I make or do not make in my walk with Christ. I have gone to the extreme of falling,and then to the extreme of being to scared to take the step of faith that God is telling me to do something that he has placed on my heart. I pray my daughters and son see what I do right and not what I do wrong and that the messege I try to get across that we are “all sinners and fall short of the glory of God” gets acrossed to them. I pray that one day I will be closer to him then I am now and I know that is what he wants for me too, but In the between time of being human and not being completly faithful in what he wants for me is scary. I at times hear you are not close enough to being able to be with him or he will be so disappointed in the lack of faith you have. I have to remind myself that he loves me and that he gave his son becuase of his love that “any one who believes in him shall not parish but have everlasting life”. I am so thankfull that I have Faith that “all things are possible through Christ who strengthens me”
Leanna Williams says
I have always felt that love was conditional…based on my performance. If I performed well, He loved me. If I didn’t, He didn’t love me. As long as I performed well, That worked. But as I made poor choice after poor choice until finally my life came crashing down around me. And I gave up. I figured I had used up all my chances and that God would never love me. But in 2004, I got saved and I constantly amazed at how God’s grace is the answer. It is the answer on the good days as well as the bad. The message I want to hear from God is that any day and every day I can come “just as I am. “Broken, wounded, needy. And He loves me and accepts me with outstretched arms.
Christine says
I’ve always struggled with what it means to be unconditionally loved. I’ve never had anything to compare it to and I just can’t seem to “get it”.
Lisa says
Having some marriage struggles that are making me feel very insignificant right now. I would love to read this!
JennRose says
I need to know that I need to find patience and recognize the lessons that my children teach me.
Susan G. says
WELCOME! 😉 I’ve read some of your blogs in the past and am so excited to see you ‘added’ to the wonderful list of ‘encouragers’ I (and so many other women) need to hear from. I’ve been a Christian for 48 years, but we women still compare ourselves to other women and need to hear the real truth from God and His Word – how He loves us overwhelmingly just as we are! After all He made us! 🙂
Thanks for the opportunity to win your wonderful book!
Much love and prayers,
Susan
Elizabeth says
I need to remember I am pre-approved as a wife and mother and it’s not all based on my performance or my kids’ performance. Thanks for the opportunity!
Mellissa says
I seem to always be the encourager. The one who always tells others that they can achieve anything they put their mind. I need to take heed to my own advice. If it is good enough for others it should be good enough for me too. This sounds like an amazing book and I would LOVE to win a copy!
Ruth says
I’m just not good enough, I can’t do this any more
Janet from FL says
It’s a struggle, but with the help of Jesus, you can change things in your life. I am praying for you right now.
Norah says
Ruth – You are Not a mistake! You were designed by God! You were a reason that God came to earth! You are Special!!! Praying with Janet, right now for You!!! 🙂
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Praying for you, Ruth. So much.
Lina says
My latest issue is not being smart enough… I remember struggling with this as a very young girl and just learning to boast about my under achievements with wonderful self deprecating humor. And sadly, I am good at that!
I am bored with all my other insecurities so this one has come to the focal point and I find myself trying to measure up in the way I express myself in writing too… I used to be proud of how well I could write compared to the way I cannot talk. Now I am starting to doubt them both.
Sneaky devil, always finds a way in….
Bridget K says
Pre-approval. It’s like I am constantly comparing myself to other women. I don’t need to do that. Ever. I am enough – pre-approved, as you say. I want to read this. I want to believe I am approved; I don’t need anything else.
Lisa Segroves says
I’m turning 50 this year on Easter Sunday!! I know exactly what other women are talking about … wanting to be able to look in the mirror and see the woman God sees. 13 years ago, my husband had an affair and I went through a long painful divorce – that really did a number on my self esteem. The last time my birthday fell on Easter was my first Easter on my own with my boys …. God did a great work of healing and encouraging for me that year and has continued to build me back up little by little … still a work in progress! I definitely need to read this book!
Janet from FL says
Hey, Happy Birthday soon! How special to have your birthday on Easter. I had a birthday on Easter a couple years ago, and it was magical. I hope you have a very special birthday this year. God is blessing you this Easter!
Janet from FL says
The area where I feel most “not good enough” is in my writing. Wow, just saying that in B&W brings tears to my eyes. That is definitely a sensitive area. I have gotten past feeling “not good enough” as a mom and as a wife, which took a long time to get there, but now as I have more time to spend in ministry for God, I find those weak, insecure feelings coming up again. The “not enough” feelings started back when I was just 13. Now I am in my 50s, married for the 2nd time, with all our kids now adults living on their own. Those “not good enough” feelings have found me again. Thanks for writing this book “Love Idol” and for giving us a chance to win a copy. One way or another, I hope to get a copy to read, and then give to my daughter, who can share it with her daughter (now 8). Thanks.
Pam says
My entire body is a struggle for me to accept. I said it out loud the other day and my 11 year old son said, “mom don’t say things about yourself like that because they are not true”.
Timmery says
Oh wow. This morning I’ve already battled these lies–the ones that have told me I was a throw away child, and as an adult I’m still only good for being thrown away. Ouch! Hard to take those thoughts captive, but SO imoortant to tell myself-and believe-Truth.
Dani Ganzalez says
I love what lil i read on the link tahnk you for share as a mother of a daughter, this makes me think even harder about the woman i am for my lil girl. i would so love to have this book
Sis from ky says
Would love to get this book and share with friends
dawn says
Would love to win. Jennifer if you pray, please pray for my 13 year old girl. Complicated. But, I would choose you pray deliverance for my Girl, and that she would know the One, True God’s love for her, and receive it. Thanks! Look forward to reading your book eventually (slow reader with big book stacks right here: Guilty!) Congrats on bringing it to fruition and joining the in courage team!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Dawn, I am praying for every one of you, and for your girl. Promise. xo
Amy says
Hard on forgiving myself, Ever so guilty of comparison, Unable to live up to expectations I feel people have of me, mixed with maybe a little too much perfectionism, makes it difficult to accept myself – that God created this.
I would love to win a copy of your book!
Thanks for joining the community and sharing!
Lynsie says
I struggle with being a good enough mom and wife.
tricia says
Need this book on more levels and ways than I can explain…. So many layers of healing, I realize. And yes, I KNOW I need to stop this generational destruction that I may be passing on to both my daughter and my son. I feel helpless and hopeless. Hoping to somehow one day receive not just this book, but the healing needed from never feeling (or being) good enough. Thank you for your prayers and for what you’re doing for women like me everywhere! Praying for your ministry!!
Donna says
I have never felt “enough”…not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough,…etc.
I can’t remember one time in my life that I felt confident, sure, totally loved..
I am working on it..reminding myself that God’s love is enough….
Jennifer Lee says
Say these words with me: “We’ve had ENOUGH of the Not-enoughs.” Amen?
Vicki says
For me, even though I know my past is forgiven, sometimes it is hard for me to feel like God can use me. It’s hard to remember that we don’t have to be “good enough” for Him to use us. That’s kind of the point of grace! I can’t wait to read this!
Anna Rendell says
Love you, Vicki dear. You nailed it – that is the point of grace. It’s all Him.
Nicki says
Homemaking— will I ever be good at it??
Marci says
I feel like I am always trying to be enough…in every area. I need to remember that no matter how much I do, or how little, God is still enough!
Trina says
I am enough as a mom.
Frances says
Achievement- I feel the pressure there. Giveaway or not this book is on my read-soon list! 🙂
Faye Kroese says
I would love to see myself the way God sees me in the area of my abilities. I mean the things I am able to do and do well–being crafty, baking, being a mom, a gramma, a wife. My head knows I can do these things but the other voice keeps knocking away at my confidence in that knowledge and tells me “it’s not good enough, no one is going to want that, why did you make that decision, who told you that you could make that and do it well?” and on and on and on. I get very tired of second guessing myself and have many times had to listen for God’s voice “You are enough. Period! Because I AM and I said so.” I really need to remember I live and breathe for God and His pleasure. The rest is gravy.
Abi says
I need to know that I’m pre-approved by God – that no other person can tell me who I am… I’ve always been on the fringe, always wanted real friends, or a boyfriend, just to confirm that I’m actually worth something. Haven’t got any of those. I need to stop berating myself for my lack of social skills…
Traci says
I would love to feel in the MIDST of my days that I am enough and that God has left no measure or means un-thought of. In the quiet of morning or the stillness of night, I can hear and believe the echoes of those truths more readily. But in the throes of the day – the mom, the wife, the friend, the child and all the other ‘hats’ I wear seem to make those truths feel so elusive and out of reach.
joni says
Started with bullying in jr hi and a dad who didnt get girls.its like trying a chimney hsrder u try dirtier you get n feel.
Christena says
I have felt inadequate most of my life, especially since I had children of my own. My 7 year old daughter is starting down a road very similar to my own in the self worth area and I am desperatly trying to encourage her and pray with and for her through this time of questions so that she will not spend her life feeling like she is not enough. I very much relate to your post about being real in front of the kids. I feel like I have been sending mixed messages for too long. By the grace of God, I am going to change that one moment at a time! Thank you for writing this book… I can hardly wait to read it. God Bless you!
Caroline says
I would like to feel that I am a human being, not a human doing, and that being, who God created me to be, is enough.
Anna Beth says
I pray for all those (including myself) with insecurities) My insecurities are more anxieties of everyday busy life of being a wife & mother. We are our toughest critics. One day I will be FREE & am praying for gods guidance . He will set us free , I’m praying that .
Cheri says
I would love to have a copy of this book to give to a dear friend of mine. Even though she is in her 50’s, she still struggles w/the memories of being not enough for her father, who is now deceased, her former husband, her co-workers, her children, etc. I think this book would mean the world to her. 🙂
Erin says
Love the culture you’re creating here, Jennifer.
My biggest struggle is feeling like there is a place for me. I’m not super high energy, I don’t make color-coded spreadsheets, and I don’t lead worship. I’m an introvert who cares deeply for people, but I find it difficult to step out of my comfort zone when it seems like all the people around me are more qualified to lead and make a difference. I’ve battled depression and anxiety and the beast of comparing myself to the people around me. I feel like I am in a really amazing place in my life right now, and I would love to be able to share that with others through ministry, but the devil and his sneaky lies have kept me in tears, believing that there is just no need for my passions, my abilities, my heart.
Thanks for the grace to share here. Would love to grab a copy of your heart in print.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Erin,
I’m wondering if you’ve seen the book, “Introverts in the Church: Finding Our Place in an Extroverted Culture.” Perhaps that book would also speak to your beautiful heart. Thanks for sharing with me, Erin. I’ve prayed for you today.
Erin says
Thank you, Jennifer. Your sweet words of encouragement and your prayers are held dear. And I will see about ordering “Introverts and the Church.” In the meantime, crossing my fingers that I can grab a copy of “Love Idol!” <3
Jennifer Lee says
Thanks, Erin! 🙂
Harmony says
Every day I feel like I fail in some area as a wife and parent. I have a ridiculous standard of perfection to live up to. I know I need to see myself the way God sees me and let it go. Thanks for this book! Looks great!
Joni walter says
Self esteem makeover and self love.
Joni walter says
Self esteem makeover and self love. I want to feel beautiful n know/believe God is my enough.
Gretchen Louise says
I can’t wait to read this! Self esteem is definitely an area in which I need to remember I’m pre-approved.
Tessy Moon says
Thank you so much for sharing this. It has touched me in the deepest part of my soul.
This lie has haunted me my entire life. The poisonous arrows have whispered and screamed “You are not enough!” For so long and so many times I bought the lie and sold it to myself, translating it into, “I am not enough.”
The Lord has been so outrageously gracious and good to me, and He has rescued me over and over again, delivering me from fear, shame, bondage, abuse, and what I was sure was irreparable damage. He has given me His love over and over again, relentlessly pursuing my heart.
And slowly, oh so slowly, my heart has turned and heard His whispers of love, paused to listen to Him singing to me of His great love for me. And little by little, my heart has begun to believe His tender words of affection and adoration. Oh, so long it is taking me to truly realize His great love for me! Yet, by His grace I have begun to truly believe and grow in confidence in His love.
And yet, there has remained this part deep within me – that I am often not even aware of – that is like the Little Girl I once was: rejected, neglected, abused, unloved, unwanted, hurt, frightened and alone. She doesn’t scream like she used to, the pain doesn’t throb uncontrollably. In fact, she seems much healthier and happier now then what she once was. But there is still a hungering need and unsatisfied thirst to be loved.
I really do believe that God loves me. That Jesus is with me and caring for me always. And yet, I still fear that I am not enough.
I have a difficult marriage. Many times within these ten years of marriage, it has been very near divorce. There has been deep hurt, abuse, and much more pain than joy. And yet, over and over again God has brought our marriage to a hope of reconciliation when before there was only anger and hurt. Even though it is still difficult, I am praying for my husband and trying to love him as Christ wants me to; but it is very hard, and often very lonely. I often do not feel loved at all, especially when my husband is overcome with anger; I know intellectually it is not because of me or any deficiency within me, it is because my husband still hurts from his childhood wounds and he needs healing in God’s love. Even though I know the truth, it still aches every time my husband speaks unkind words, or becomes lost in his rage. It still feels like it is my fault, because I am not good enough to be loved. I know it isn’t truth. Yet this feeling is hard to fight when it reoccurs so frequently.
I am stronger than I used to be, by relying on God’s grace and resting in His love. But I still often feel weak, broken hurt, afraid and alone. I still feel like I am not enough.
I want to rest so securely in God alone, I want my heart, soul, spirit, mind, body, every part of my being and the deepest part of my essence to be so focused on and in love with God that it won’t matter to me if anyone else loves me. Yet, I can’t seem to escape that desire to be loved in return. Not just by my husband, but by many in my life: my children, my parents, my siblings, my friends. I want to be loved in return. That is a part of being human, a core aspect of being alive. But I don’t want to rely on the love of others for affirmation of my worth or need their approval. No one gets to judge if I am worth loving except God. This is truth. And I want to live that truth, not just speak it.
Jesus has carried me a long way. And there is still much farther to go. But I am confident that He will complete His work in me. His tender loving embrace has wrapped around me like a cocoon of love transforming this crawling frightened caterpillar into a beautiful butterfly, so that one day, I may fly free for his Glory and pleasure. Until then I will rest in Him, for I know my God is taking good care of me.
His love is more than enough for me and He makes me enough in Him.
Praise to our Lord Jesus Christ forever and ever through all time!!!
Angela says
Oh I cannot wait to purchase and read your book. Thank you for writing it. Thank you for posting about it here. It is such an important message and one I relate to deeply. I’m the girl who once believed that she was just a mistake made by two teenagers more than four decades ago. The girl who hated what the mirror reflected. I was the girl who hated her voice and cursed her brain for not working faster. I was the girl who opened her arms wide to embrace the ugliest “if only” lies (If only you were smarter, sexier, less reserved … if only you had straight teeth and a more defined nose … if only …). I wore an invisible < on my shirt and every time I entertained the possibility that I was "enough," the classic overachiever in me kicked in and demanded to be "more than enough" … a showstopper. So much healing has taken place in my life since the time I held such lies, but there are still days when my resolve shakes. Days when I feel like more of a burden than a gift. So thank you for the reminder that the belief that I am pre-approved is something worth fighting for … that it is more than a nice thought but a way of life.
Angela says
Well … I am not sure why my comment posted here and not at the end … but perhaps it was because I spent a lot of time reading Tessy’s thoughtful words and they went deep into my heart and I did pray for you, Tessy, after reading them. Blessings. 🙂
Joanne Maher says
Pre-approved…I know God loves me, loves me and my husband, but the struggles and challenges are hard. Life on life’s terms when we seem to move through the struggles that continue and continue. My faith has definitely been challenged and I still have some hope and much gratitiude.
Becky G. says
I’ve never allowed myself to completely surrender those personal I-am-not-good-enoughs to God for his grace covering.
Because they are often physically based (weight, appearance, habits …) I feel I should “fix” them on my own and then go to God. They seem to be under my control. Or should be. So I leave God out. I’m a physical in-the-flesh being and don’t allow my spiritual self to be involved.
This is a healing, freeing change to realize I don’t need His approval.
Jessica says
Remembering that although I will never be enough on my own – He is enough! And I am enough in Him. When it comes to being a mom, a wife, a friend… He is enough! What a sweet reminder that we are preapproved in Him.
Melinda says
I know on a head level I am the righteous daughter of God. But I carry so much guilt on a heart level. I want to see myself clean in Christ. He was slain before the foundation of the world. Prior to any one sin. I want to know in my heart I am forgiven.
Debra Southern says
I still struggle with my body image as I’m a size 20. I know I am not measured by the number on the scale, but I do have to contend with clothes size when shopping. I’m working on the weight loss and recently finished the Made to Crave challenge, so I know God is right here with me. 🙂
Jennifer Lee says
You’re not a number; you’re a person — and a beautiful one, Ms. Debra. God bless you! Thanks for stopping by. (I LOVED Made to Crave!)
Barbara Sennert says
God made each of us just as we are. We all have unique personalities and talents. He loves us, we need to learn to love ourselves. This may be something you have to reassure yourself of daily. Mothering can be daunting, but keep praying to be the right mom for your kids. Love Jesus and teach your kids to love Him too. Some day your little ones will be adults and they will be teaching others how to love Jesus….what a amazing circle. What a awesome God we serve. 🙂
Jessica Mumford says
All areas! Would love this book.
Mylinda says
I want to know, know, KNOW that it’s not man’s approval I need but God’s. Why am I always trying to be “all that and then some”??? Such a battle for me, especially as we try to step out in total jump off the cliff faith and begin a new ministry. What will “everyone” think or say???
Kelly says
Self esteem and confidence. Fear causes me a lot of anxiety at work. Thank you for the book 🙂
Karen Sandford says
Would love the book please. Don’t know where to start x
Ava Sophie says
I need to remember that I am worth loving without conditions–agape love. I often feel like I don’t deserve love, which also sometimes keep me from accepting God’s love for me, accepting what Jesus did on the cross for me. I understand He did it for others, but can’t always understand, believe or accept that he did it for ME. I need to remember that even though my mother couldn’t always show me unconditional love, I can trust God to love me unconditionally.
Thank you for an encouraging post, for writing such an important book. Though I haven’t read it, I know it is a HUGE need for someone to bring up this subject!
Robyn Chilcoat says
I would love to be seen in that light as my role as a mother. I too often doubt every move and decison I make when it comes to my two young boys. I compare myself to other moms and wish I was more like them. I struggle at times when it comes to balancing work, being a wife, mother, and friend. In the end I know that I am giving it my all and that God chose me to be the mother to my wonderfully perfect boys, and that in itself should make me know that I am loved and Pre-approved!
Tammy says
Oh how I can use pre-approval in so many areas of my life, the the biggest one for me is self-worth. I grew up as a middle child. It was awful (to me)! I got all my older sister’s hand-me-downs. Even her car. My younger brother got all new, since he is a boy. My mother and I have never had a good mother/daughter relationship. Still to this day (I am 41) I still can’t do things good in her eyes. It hurts!! I want a relationship that most normal mother’s and their daughter’s have. I know deep in my heart this will never happen. This eats at me daily. Then whenever my husband and I have a tiff it’s like the end of the world. I do take medication for depression but I thank God all the time for being there any and every time I need him. I would love to recieve a copy of of the book Pre-approved! It sounds like a great book for me to read and see I AM ENOUGH!!
Anna Rendell says
Oh Tammy, you are enough because HE is enough and He is in you, dear one. Praying peace over you tonight.
Moriah says
I’m a teenager, so I guess right now is when I want to see that I am preapproved. I don’t want to have to live up to the world’s standard anymore!
Laura K says
I feel that my own identity has diminished due to seeking approval/trying to please my spouse. I gave up many of my own desires to do what pleased him or keep peace to the point of it being unhealthy. I often wonder how God sees me in this situation. My self worth needs improvement as I often feel not good enough in many different situations of life.
Thank you for writing a book like this as so many people probably identify with this topic…blessings to you!
Angela says
I have been thinking and struggling with this very thing. I was raised (up to the age of 9 or 10) in an alcoholic home. I was then placed in two different foster homes, which were not physically abuse and compared to some I have heard about were good homes, but I always felt less than everyone else. I felt very inferior and still get nervous and want to run and hide when I am in certain situations. I have prayed over the years, (since I was saved at 17) that God would show me the truth in situations that would hurt me or overwhelmed me. Although I have improved a lot over the years, I can see I still have a long way to go. It does make me depend on the Lord more and I feel a peace and can feel His love in me, but the flesh is weak and it is a daily struggle with feelings of inadequacy and feeling inferior. I guess I would like to feel ok and not feel like those feelings dominate my day. 🙂
Sarah Caldwell says
I need to remember HIS approval and love makes my identity complete – that I don’t have to DO anything of value to have a secure identity. Thats a lifelong struggle for me! I so hope I can get a copy of this book – I think I need its message very much. Thanks for your words, Jennifer! 🙂
Rebekah says
Love and approval … in the areas of simply being enough. Not having to change anything else. Not run hard enough, lose anything else, wear the right thing, be the right thing. I’m not quite sure how to wrap it all up because sometimes it just feels like nothing is quite enough. And I know I need to stop listening to the external influences and just keep my eyes on Jesus. Who says I am enough. Now I need to believe it all the way down in my heart.
Hannah says
My mothering. Since having our first I’ve felt there is a gigantic pegboard with “someone” keeping score. And my “points” get moved up and down based on how I mother my children. And some days, lots of days, I think about that. Instead of thinking about God and who He is, and the map of Himself that He pressed upon me that allows me to be the mother I need to be, and was created to be for my children.
Errica says
I need to” believe ” more and more that He loves me just like I am and that I don’t have to work at making everyone happy to be accepted, I am enough because He took all my ugly stuff on Him at the cross and that that was even conquered when He rose so that I’d have all the forgiveness and hope I’d ever need.
Kathryn Ross says
Jennifer – would love to win a copy with your own lovely name inscribed in the front of it! This is such a tough topic for many of us to talk openly about – almost as if the devil puts a gag on our mouth when we attempt to put all the words on the table. That’s because when we do get honest and get it out, it’s not so much the monster he’s built it up in our vain imaginings.
My struggles in this area are a lifetime – but always fighting through and moving forward. Currently, as a writer trying to write the book that has been on my heart with false starts for years, I am fighting the “not enough” again because it seems my book has already been written by so many others. I’m persisting, though – with what I hope is an original angle – or just another facet – to the idea of living like a work of art. Hopeful to make this a reality in 2014 – hopeful that the gift within me is “enough” to the purpose.
Joy to you!
Kathy
Beth says
I need this in so many areas of my life. After becoming a widow a few years ago, I struggle with being ‘enough’ as a parent and as a single woman. Thanks for addressing this for all who struggle with needing approval.
Jennifer says
I have made strides in this area over the past year, but I still slip into worrying about what others think about my parenting, my house, my body, my writings, I can go on. God has shown me that He sees me and that is enough.
Jolene says
I need to remember that even on the days that the house is mess, and the children are upset with me, and the laundry is piled up, that i am loved and accepted. Jesus loves me, just as I am.
Anna Rendell says
Yes, He so does Jolene, right in the midst of our everyday messiness =)
Karen says
Ahhh… the battle of “not (thin, pretty, smart, talented, anointed, good…) enough” I hate that battle and I’m desperately trying to leave that battlefield and to know my worth in Jesus Christ alone (as His opinion is ultimately the only one that matters).
I’m glad you wrote this book – it’s past time that we stopped this fight and moved forward in our own precious uniqueness. God didn’t create anything that was insufficient! I look forward to reading this! 🙂
Andrea says
Today I really need the reminder that God sees past my hormonal breakouts and tired lines. That He uses my words and my actions more mightily than I can ever even imagine. And that He sees my efforts and is pleased.
Love this book. And you.
Penny says
I would love to receive this book for some very personal reasons that I’m not at liberty to share here, as the trauma involves someone very precious to me, and I don’t want to “uncover” her. I know she would be blessed beyond measure by this book. Thank you for considering my request! I pray God’ richest blessings over you and your family.
Becky Keife says
I need to know that I’m preapproved even when I have to keep learning the same lesson over and over again. God is patient with me. I need reminders that his love for me is fierce whether I’m “on”, shiny and thriving, or whether I’m feeling broken and weary.
Alicia Turner Beard says
I would love to be able to remember that I am loved and preapproved of by how I keep my house. I struggle to keep the laundry done and the house picked up. I am a newlywed who needs to learn how to cook. In the midst of the challenges, I long to remember that I am loved and preapproved.
Janna says
I don’t think I have ever measured up in my mom’s eyes. First I was too shy, then I was too sad when my grandma died, then I got fat (not really then but I am now). Now I am the wrong denomination (not the one of my youth). Almost 45 years old and I still seek approval from her that I know will never come. Not without strings.
Amy Grable says
In the area of motherhood I want to know that I am pre approved and the perfect mother for the children God has blessed me with. I would love your book. I really enjoyed listening to your podcast with The God Centered Mom.
Jone says
It seems that there hasn’t been a time in my life when I didn’t feel “not enough” in some area of my life. It seems to shift and change. When one thing seems to be going well, then another one gets brought to the forefront instead. I am so ready to be done with the “not enough”s. God has been working with me through some things and I think this book will be a good next step. I look forward to passing its wisdom on to my daughters.
L. says
I’d love to read the book. Though I don’t know if I believe anymore that God approves of me and loves me for who I am.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
L … Whispering prayers over you right now. He loved you before you took your first step, before you breathed your first breath.
“I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love.” (Jeremiah 31:3)
Jen baumgarten says
I would love to read this! I would love to know that I am worthy of becoming a wife now, just as I am. Not after losing weight, or getting a better job, or…..
Kimberley says
I have a lot of “not enoughs” in my life that I have begun to recognize and with God’s help let go of….but one haunts me. I could not have children. God did a miracle and we adopted my nephew when he was 15. He was my sister’s son and she neglected and abused him terribly. At 18, he went to heaven. I was reading some notes he kept during a youth retreat. It asked about his father and mother. He went on and on talking about how great his Dad was (my husband) and I am so grateful for that. But where it asked about mother, he wrote, “They both do the best they can.” I can’t ask him now what he meant or where is head was at that moment….but there are times when I cry thinking about how she hurt and used him but he ranked us both the same. I hear “that voice” saying, “You were not a good mother.” I want so much to let go of that and just treasure the memories from the short time we had together.
Anna Rendell says
Oh Kimberly… you speak of a deep and haunting pain that I cannot fathom. The only words ringing in my head to speak over you tonight are ‘Well done, faithful servant.’ You loved and served and obeyed and gave and mothered WELL.
Praying deep peace over you this evening. Bless you.
Deb says
So many areas … your story touched my heart on so many levels. I do long to live the truth of your book.
Please enter me in the contest.
Chris says
I would love to be able to feel worthy. To feel loved just because I am, not because of anything I do.
Kristin at See the Shine Be the Shine says
Your daughter is one blessed girl to have such a mother to create a better world for her and her friends and their mamas. I would love to REST in the fact that I truly am enough.
Maria says
I feel speechless. I don’t even know where to start. I don’t have to meet any expectations. There are no expectations?
Jeanine says
There are many areas….just accepting myself after all these years. I’m 52 and just when I think I can like myself because God made me, something happens to make me doubt.
Your book sounds grand, and I hope I win a copy, but if I don’t, I’ll be shopping for it 🙂
Becky Stepp says
I am 50 and getting ready to start a website/ ministry for those suffering with chronic pain. I am new to writing/blogging and the whole social media thing. The enemy tries to get in my head telling me I’m not good enough to take this on. He also tells me I’m not young enough. Ha! Your book sound wonderful and I know it will encourage so many women!!
Jennifer Lee says
Cheering you on, Becky, as you take those first steps with your website and ministry. All of us out here on the Internet had to take that first scary step. It’s how (in)courage got started — because women dared to do what God called them to do. Be encouraged! You can do it!
Tammie says
accepting myself as others and knowing that i am enough the way i am and it’s ok.
Angie Carroll says
People’s perceptions of me are things that sometimes bother me but I need to leave that to God!
Shelley says
LOVE the idea of your book! I NEED to have your book! Well, what I really need is to wrap my head around the fact that I’m created in God’s image and He made me for His delight! But maybe this will help… LOL! Isn’t it funny how we women who are in ministry can so easily tell other women that they’re special, beautiful, and have purpose yet we fail to grasp it ourselves? People think I’m so confident and positive and “got it goin’ on,” but truth is, I have some deep, dark places in which I’ve stored away my insecurities and self-loathings. And how I love to unearth them and entertain their lies. It sometimes prevents me from moving forward in ministry, because I get freaked out by how others may view me. But I think “enough is enough” and I am ready to shake of those shackles and have freedom to be ME!
Susan says
I feel so unloved. Since the death of my dear mom and dad, plus my best friend, I have no one who cares. I am married, but he does not care at all about how I feel, my health, NOTHING. I moved here to New Zealand from my beloved America as this is his home, he shows no appreciation for it or my feelings. Please pray for strength and healing, I feel so down trodden.
Please enter me in the book drawing.
Thanks
Susan
Anna Rendell says
Susan, dear heart. My heart cracked for yours as I read your words. I can only say that I am praying love to cover you tonight. Drench and cover and coat your heart in a wonderfully overwhelming and peaceful way. This verse from Isaiah 61 came to mind as a promise of redemption, and I hope you experience it in some form:
Because you got a double dose of trouble
and more than your share of contempt,
Your inheritance in the land will be doubled
and your joy go on forever.
Peace to you this evening, Susan.
Hummie says
I am new to this site. I followed Liz Curtis Higgen’s post. This book sounds like just what I need to continue on my journey to healing from insecurities.
Milissa says
Thank you for sharing these words. I need to be reminded everyday to not compare myself to others. God is more than enough to balance out the areas of my life where I feel I am lacking.
Sophia DeLonghi says
As a Christian for the last 40 plus years, I have finally accepted that I am enough and loved by my Savior, just as I am! When I remember that He knew and knows everything about me, inside and out, from the beginning, it gives me tremendous encouragement that He loves me no matter what I have done in the past or in the present or future! He still loves me and died for me knowing I am selfishly sinful but forgiven by His grace and mercy that is new everyday! Would love this book. Thank you for your blog and ministry. God bless!
michelle p says
What a great post today, I so needed to hear I am preapproved. I have struggled with knowing that, I am now in my mid fifties and slowly God is changing my focus, I am being healed after traumatic Sexual abuse at 4 which changed me from a lively, bubbly little girl to a fearful, worthless, bad girl that bad things would happen too, its been such a long journey, but I am breaking free of the past and living for my God in the now.
Susan says
My role as a wife, I struggle daily with this one
Mercy says
I’d like the book. And I need to see myself as God sees me (loved and preapproved) in all areas of my life.
Laura says
I think the fact that I do have worth and value (because of Who He is and who I am to Him) is foundational – and is the one thing I struggle most with. It looks so different in each of the varied arenas of my life, but the issues I deal with all seem to boil down to the fact that I believe that I am utterly worthless, no matter how I try to prove otherwise. I heard a character on tv say, ‘I do so much, and it’s never enough.’ And I thought, ‘Yeah. That’s it. That’s me.’
Meg says
As a mother. It’s something I have to give back daily to Jesus.
chalaina says
I don’t know why, but I’ve always felt like I’m just not good enough. It’s a struggle to get past that. It causes so much pain and stress.
Sheila says
I need to remember that God does not compare me to others, so why should I.
He sees me for me, and that is enough to accomplish anything with
Him that He has for me. If He is for me, as the Word says, what does it
matter if they like me or approve of me or even want to be my friend. It does not matter.
Melaina Blomenkamp says
That today I am enough because He is enough and because he made me then I am also enough. I have spent all of my life not feeling I was ever enough – smart, thin, pretty, worthy, funny, fun, etc millions times over BUT this year he is teaching me that in Him I am enough because He will always be enough so I can stop striving so hard. Such freedom in feeling like you are, indeed, enough. How desperately I want my children to know this.
Kelly says
I’m a grandmother and have a difficult time feeling worthy among other areas in my life. I am currently leading my second bible study (which is totally out of my comfort level) and, thanks to you, I am telling myself I am preapproved and worthy in God’s eyes. “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength” is now my prayer before I start my class. I would love to receive a copy of this book. I have a feeling I would definitely see myself in a whole new light! God bless you for all your encouragement!
Jen Wagner says
To believe God when He calls us to do the crazy stuff. That I am enough and I can do it. Thank you. Would love to read your book.
Deana says
I need to know I am enough as a mom, as a wife, as a human being. I would love a copy of your book.
Colleen Garcia says
I need to remember that God loves me just as I am – and that I AM enough – even when I feel that I don’t measure up to what He has called me to. In my own mind and heart, I always feel that I am “running to catch up” with all of my various roles – wife, mother, homemaker, virtual assistant, friend, etc.
Cindi Clarke says
I’m filing for a divorce this month after finally realizing that I am enough. For three and a half years of being the sole provider in this marriage, of believing the lies my husband told me, of selling almost everything I owned prior to meeting and marrying him just so we could survive … and constantly being told that I wasn’t enough, and it wasn’t enough … God finally removed the scales from my eyes this weekend and let me see the truth.
I am enough.
It has been a painful lesson that makes me wonder if those blind men that Jesus healed felt as much pain when they suddenly saw the sun … the Son … for the first time after years of darkness. I imagine they did, and I imagine that regardless of the pain they wouldn’t trade it for the alternative.
Neither will I.
Anna Rendell says
You are a strong and brave woman, Cindi. Thank you for sharing your heart and story here.
carolyn w says
I would love to have your book,but reading all the comments of my sisters in Christ has (in)couraged me very much to see I am not alone in my struggles to be approved ,to be found good enough by God.
Jennifer Lee says
We’re in this together, Carolyn. Prayers for you. You’re not alone.
lisa tindal says
Growing up in poverty, I always compare my clothing to other women. Women who are perfectly put together…head to toe push my “insecurity button”. I tell myself that God looks at the heart; but, still really struggle with this. Check out my blog entry, Insecurity Buttons, as I am finding writing to be God’s gift to my being able to believe in my worth.
Jennifer says
I have battled every type of abuse imaginable. The scars have smothered my worth. I want to see myself as God sees me so badly. I am tired of my past defining me. I want to be FREE of these wrong identities. I want to embrace the strength found in knowing that I AM WHO GOD SAYS I AM! Through God’s strength alone I will believe that my value doesn’t decrease based on someone’s inability to see my worth. I believe Lord, help my unbelief!
Julie says
currently struggling with rejection from friends – i don’t want to feel like i need their approval and acceptance, but this is a tough one.
Kathy heyerly says
I want to know that God says I enough in so many areas – as a wife, mom, homemaker, employee….
Martha says
I need to know that I’m preapproved by God and all my failures cannot separate me from Him.
Donna says
Being of the “older” group now, I sometimes feel like I’m not needed and don’t have a purpose in the church anymore. I am a grandma to 8 little ones and I love that; but comments from the younger crowd in the church sometimes make me feel like I’m not good enough, not smart enough, not scholarly enough, like I’m inept. I know and want to live to please only One, but sometimes those feelings come creeping back, especially on Sundays.
Lani says
I would like to be free to love myself in this 40something state after six babies and grey hair have set in…
Cindy says
I don’t have to *do* anything to be enough. He loves me RIGHT now as I sit here . . . why do I try to keep earning His love???
kathy w says
I would love to read this book with my son. My self-esteem is not what it should be as a mother and it seems my son is the same way.
MieMie says
I would like to ask for your prayers so I can feel God’s grace to guide my husband, our four grandchildren, our sons and their families to seek and accept Jesus as their Savior. Thank you.
P.S. Also pray for our families up North.
Donna says
I have been told I am not good enough for as long as I can remember. Mostly from my dad and then my husband. I have been married 33 years and the taunts don’t hurt as deep as they used to…..or do they? I don’t know. Something needs to change. I don’t think there are any more anti’depressant drugs that I have not tried (through my physician). I take a handful every morning and night and still have trouble wading through my muddy life. If there is anything I could do for my daughters (20 and 23) to save them some of this pain, it would be wonderful. Thank you for your prayers even if I don’t win a book. Prayer is all the hope left.
Sarah says
I have to say this message touched me so much. I worry a lot about the messages I am sending my 5 year old daughter and I forget in those moments of frustration that she is learning from me. As a Mom who plans to homeschool I am so scared of failing. And as a Mom who could loose some weight, I don’t want to send the message that I hate my body or that skinny is the only way to be perfect. I want to send the message that she is perfect because God sees her as perfect but I know I have to believe and live that myself. Thank you for writing a book on the fragile state of women’s worth in a media saturated world!
Elaine says
Hi, I’m Elaine & I’m tired to death of looking in the mirror & seeing Satan’s lies, instead of God’s love!
Laura says
I would love to see myself as God sees me – as a great child of God and a good Mom that tries her best. I would love to go back and change things with my children. They are almost grown. Time flies by so fast and i would love to go back and enjoy more of the little things with them. They will soon be out of the house and I will miss them terribly. I wonder if I let them know I loved them enough.
Carolyn says
Jennifer, I am so proud of you! I think of all those past saints in that small Methodist church we grew up in. Who prayed for us even when we didn’t know it. Thank you for letting God’s love and approval flow through you so that many may see that they, too, are pre-approved! Blessings!
Patricia Hawes says
medically/physically…healing
Dani L says
I would love to see me as a beautiful child of God, not hiding in the shame of sexual abuse, ugly, and worthless…
Malory H says
Seriously….I sooooo want this book! Definitely one I NEED to read!
Rachel B says
This book looks amazing. I plan to read it with my teenage daughter. She struggles with seeking acceptance rather than loving who God made her and would rather follow than stand out in any way. I want to nurture her heart and build her worth up in Christ! I haven’t done a very good job of that so far and knew I wanted/needed this book ASAP! Can’t wait to read it!!
Amy says
I need to be reminded that I am exactly the mother my boys need. It’s hard not to feel inadequate as a parent. Congrats on your publication!
Mary Ann says
Oh my! I have quite a list. I am gracious to others but a merciless critic of myself. Body image, energy level, assertiveness, intelligence, friendship, motherhood and being a wife all leave me feeling “not enough”.
Lori says
I am a bit embarrassed to say that I have numerous area’s of my life that need this message and sadly I have passed this message down to my daughters so I want to share it with them too. I am a work in progress and as each year passes these messages of being loved unconditionally by my amazing father God is sinking into my soul inch by ince. So thankful that he is patient with me and that his grace meets me where I am at.
Amy says
At church… What God sees by me as there…
Cynthia says
I want to see myself as how God sees who I can be through Him. Not what the past has shown me who I think I am. It’s very hard! I would love a copy of the book :)!
B. Scott says
I am 70 years old and I am still struggling with loving myself and seeing myself as HE sees me. I believe I could certainly benefit from reading this book.
Thanks!
LHelen says
Can’t/Won’t commit to anything because …Not Enough. Have struggled with this for decades but I want to be able to commit to the hard work (or be healed) of the Not Enough disease so, like .SheriW, I don’t go to the grave still fighting the same battles
Bonnie Jean says
All of my life I have been abused… physically, emotionally, sexually and manipulated and controlled by others. I spent my life trying to earn love that would never come because I was never thin enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, rich enough, fast enough, whatever enough… I was a loser, worthless, and now that I am in my mid fifties I feel totally empty, lonely, worthless, and hopeless. I need to find a way to trust in God’s love for me and let Him make me feel enough. I need to look to him to help me find passion and purpose in life instead of running after things that never seem to lead to anything but heartache and disappointment. This book drew my eye. Maybe ??? it ??? would??? help me ???
Jessica says
I would love to read this book. I want to be able to see myself the way God sees me!
laura says
Reading this brought tears to my eyes. Every night as I pray over my 4 year old daughter my prayer is that she will not have the struggles with insecurity & self worth that i do. That she would know so deeply her worth to God. I would love a copy of this book to help me in my battle to believe, not just know in my head, what God thinks of me, so I can live this out before my daughter
Jodi says
I would love a copy of your book. I have been working so hard to see myself as God sees me and loves me. I had very intensive repressed memories of intra-family abuse arise 3-4 years ago and my husband filed for divorce and left me. My own family turned their backs on me as well during this very challenging time for me since the abuse was a parent. I lost my ability to work and my finances disappeared. The family courts tossed me around since I was not capable to go through a divorce process during this very unstable time for me. I am trying to rebuild my entire life and it is happening very slowly and it is only happening at all through God’s strength. I was completely at the end of my rope. I study, pray and meditate on God’s word several hours each day.
Kim says
When I sin, instead of accepting God’s love and forgiveness, I feel as though I must work my way back into His good graces. I definitely don’t feel pre-approved! I know as God’s child I am accepted in the Beloved, but knowing, and truly believing and living it are difficult for me. I would love to win a copy of your book!
Cheryl Raduenz says
I would love to have your book. I would like to be preapproved in my weight. I want to be able to get in front of the camera with my kids, grandkids and new great grandchild when he/she comes. Thank you for your prayers
maria says
Oh do I wish I had this book about 25 yrs. ago – I am sure I could still learn a few things though!! Ps 139 helped me sooooo much!
Laura says
I’m not “good” enough. I want to see that God knows I’m not good, I fail, I mess up, all while trying to look perfect and spiritual, and still know He loves me in spite of my failure and pride.
MollyB says
I so desperately want to feel that approval in my role in children’s ministry. I love the children and their families, but struggle with feeling that it is never good enough.
Lorilee Mundfrom says
I just lost my husband a week ago. It’s overwhelming for me to think of all I have to do now. Figuring out the financial things is so overwhelming me right now and I want to be sure I do it right and well – as he would have done. I know I have the Lord with me as my comfort and strength but Satan keeps telling me I will fail at all of this stuff that needs doing. I would love the book and to be part of this drawing.
monica says
I would love to read this book. It seems like we are alone in our struggles but so often forget they are many others going through similar things.
Joyce M. says
I would love to see myself as God sees me as a mother. Thank you for praying for us. 🙂
Jordan says
I echo fellow commenter Tami above- I’ve never felt enough in the looks/body/beauty department. My family (specifically grandmother) grew up complaining about me being overweight, compared me to other people, and never made me feel like I was worth much because of my looks. Even now, while I’m in college she does it often. I’ve never been able to fully like what I see in the mirror, and I absolutely HATE pictures. I’ve been learning to banish those thoughts and feelings from my mind for years, but it’s still a day to day struggle.
Jacquelyn Watson says
I want to believe that I am beautiful just as God made me….have never felt that way…….
Would love to read your book – even if I don’t win this book I will be buying it. I love your writing
Lisa says
After many years of abuse from my father followed by many years of abuse from my ex husband , I have a great deal of difficulty accepting myself or feeling that I am of worth. I would love to read your book.
Blessings,
Lisa
Brandi says
I would love to read this book. Like so many others, I too judge and compare myself with how others view me instead of how God views me. I would love encouragement to put those “blinders” on and instead focus on how God sees me as His child.
JoAn says
I would like to win a copy of your book. More assurance of His powerful love would be awesome!
Lizzie V. says
THANK YOU for writing this book, Jennifer. I’d literally just gotten through praying to God about needing a change and needing to see myself the way He sees me when I somehow came across your book and what it was about online. It felt like an answer to prayer and such a blessing. And I see I’m not alone by the amount of comments here!
I’ve struggled with feeling unloved–even by God, even as a Christian–my entire life. There’s been some very low moments where I wondered if anyone would even miss me. I know that’s not the kind of life God wants for me. The last couple of years, it’s felt as though God put me on this earth just to be rejected over and over. Searching for love has been a huge thing for me. I’m not there yet, but I know there’s love to be found in Him. I hope this book can be a stepping stone to understanding His love in a new way.
It would be a blessing to win.
Jennifer says
I need to see how God sees me as a mother. With our oldest of three with special needs I doubt myself all the time. Some days it feels as if the rug is pulled out from under my feet. Thanks for writing this book. It looks like there are a lot of women that need this message.
Niki Wolter says
My prayer is for me to see myself through his eyes in all matters mostly the the daily grind, my constant desire to accomplish so much in one day and never seeming to quite get there. I know he knows my heart and my intention. I just have a difficult time seeing everything I got checked off the list over the things I still have left on it. This is something I struggle with.
Bless you and your words and your ministry.
Not sure if it is too late to enter the giveaway to receive your book, if it is I am thankful for your work just the same.
Bless you
Hannah says
I need this in every area of my life…and I would love this book.
Jessica C says
I keep struggling with the fact that for some reason it appeared that God had shown me the man He had for me to marry, but we never got to know each other through friendship or otherwise….it was partly my fault, as I purposely disobeyed God, but then for seeming no reason at all….it appears that he was taken away from me…I struggle with perhaps maybe I wasn’t “pretty” enough for this guy or that I wasn’t “outgoing” enough or just “not enough” because the guy never really made the effort in person to get to know me…I still haven’t gotten over him…I keep thinking I missed out on God’s best for me, and I’m the only one who knows it but him…so one area I’d like God to heal me in and know that I am preapproved in is in the area of relationships- that even though this guy may have been God’s original choice for me, but he rejected me…that I don’t have to live as if I’m “not enough” for a guy. Also- that I don’t have to feel like I have to be anyone but myself with relationships in general- that the people God has to be in my life, will be the ones who love me for me, and not as someone else. This book would be a great thing for me to read. Thank you for writing it!
LaVonne says
I have lived my life in someone else’s shadow, feeling that I could never live up to this person, feeling that I was never good enough, spiritual enough, capable enough. I recently realized that the person who I was constantly compared to had their own issues and had things in their life that I did not struggle with and that they were no better than me and I was not less than others. I know many who could benefit from this book. Thank you for your words.
Chris says
Often I need to be reminded that I am loved, beautiful, treasured, and have purpose in God’s eyes. For the last thirteen years I have lived with chronic pain and significant health issues which has also caused me to struggle greatly emotionally and spiritually. I’m not where I want to be in most all areas of life, so I feel a lot of shame, guilt, and regret. Also, because I am so limited in what I can do physically, I feel worthless and useless to others and to God. I feel as though I am a burden to others that I am dependent on and that I disappoint others. For years, I have longed for others to understand me and all that I’m going through, yet it is impossible for any other person to understand the pain I’m experiencing physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I truly need God to renew my mind and show me that He fully understands me and my struggles and suffering and that He loves and has mercy and compassion for me. I often think that He is probably disappointed in me too, but it is then that I must remember who He is, that He is a God of grace. I also need The Lord to remind me and make known to me how I still have value in Him and that He still has a purpose for me and can still use me, free me, and redeem me in the midst of my circumstances and despite all my flaws, sin, and regrets. I pray that His power will be perfected and displayed in my weaknesses, and that He would receive glory from it all! My adequacy, security, and identity can only be in Him, because everything else will ultimately fail me, but He will not! Thank you so much for doing this great giveaway. It sounds like a wonderful book that I need to read!
Chelsea D says
I don’t mean to sound strange but I would really like to see me the way God sees me in my sexuality.
Marinalva Sickler says
I thought I had enough of motherhood, then nine years ago, my grandson came to my house. Last year I became his guardian. Today, as we waved good-bye to each other through the dark glasses of the school bus, I realized how much my boy has become part of my life. Yes, I didn’t have enough. I’m back again to the homewwork desk, to the endless bath time, and to the planning of the park day.
Jennifer D. says
I don’t think I could narrow it down to one area. There are so many areas where I could use this truth. So many areas where I wish I could see myself as God sees me. I pray I can relay these thoughts of acceptance and love to my daughter.
Ashley A says
I would like to see my new body after having my son in God’s eyes, I keep beating myself up because after 11 months I’m still not back into the jeans I wore before having him.
Heidi says
When you feel like you are marked with a scarlet A after an abortion, walk through the healing (it took me a couple times before I accept and believed Gods love and forgiveness) you can catch yourself hearing satan’s lies and his hit breath on your neck trying to tell you something different than what God has told you. I know I am preapproved by God and he is reminding me of that everyday
Mimi says
I constantly struggle with not feeling good enough. I love the idea that I am pre-approved by God. I can quit trying so hard and just let Him work through me. I am learning to trust the process. Thank you for this important message.
Kathy says
I struggle with not being good enough. I work hard at always wanting to be the best. Best employee, best tennis player, best grandma. In striving to be the best I get lost in comparing myself to everyone around me. I lose joy. God made me just the way he wanted me. I pray to be enough for Him. Joy in The Lord is my strength.
Angela says
I struggle with not being good enough for other people. I feel that I fall short and have expectations that go unmet because I am not organized or thoughtful enough. I need to be reminded that through my deficiencies I am still worthy of love.
Susan Skrzeczkoski says
I grew up with a mother that emotionally abused me. I grew up hearing I wasn’t wanted, no one would want to marry me, I’m too fat, too slow and once or twice I heard the dreaded “I wish you had never been born”. At 49 I still struggle with my past and never quite believing I’m good enough even for Jesus. I’m so happy I found this website for the positive light it will bring to my day.
Vivian West says
I have struggled with this for years. Hearing “you’re not good enough.” For a multiple of reasons. I praise God that I have a God who loves me just the way I am. Jennifer you are so awesome. Thank you for being a friend and a Sister in Christ. God bless you and your family.
Kelly says
I would love a copy. I need it.
Maxine Cook says
I am just now learning that I don’t have to be perfect for God’s love. Would love to read this book to reinforce this.
Wanda says
God has orchestrated leading me to Jennifer’s blog as well as the discovery that she has released a book about being preapproved. Every time I watch the trailer for her book I cry because what Jennifer is sharing are words my heart has longed to believe all my life. I would love to win a copy of Love Idol and if not, this book is definitely at the top of my list of books to be purchased.
Thank you!
Amanda says
I want to see my heart and mind as God sees it.
Sonya says
Even if I don’t get one of the “giveaway” books I will be getting this book. I need to remember that I am good enough for God’s grace just as I am and that I need to see myself as God does. Over the years for many reasons my self esteem has plummeted and I need to see myself in a better light. I help to lead young people in our church and I need to remember this for them as well.
Pam says
I don’t have to “prove” my worth through my performance. HE has already preapproved me. Now, if I can just get my heart to receive and remember this truth.
Marisa Slusarcyk says
i could most definitely learn from your journey to feeling like you are enough {because you are}. It is so easy to get caught up in size and all that and I am sure I would love the book and that even my almost teen daughter would benefit from it as i am beginning to see insecurities poke through.
Bobbie Jo Shockley says
I want to see me as God sees me in that I don’t have to DO things all the time to be loved/accepted. I would love to read the book. Reading your blog has been helping me with this. Thank you for sharing your story and heart with us.
Lacey says
Sometimes it feels like every aspect of my life … just an overall reminder is nice.
Dawn says
Sometimes it just depends on the day for me, but as a woman I have been studying Isaiah 54 and realizing that His heart for us is to feel and be encouraged, uplifted, full of trust, faith, and hope, and to be strong in Him, not ourselves.
Being a momma is such an awesome gift, but one that I feel so inadequate because every day I am worried I will mess up that gift. When they fall I feel like it is all my fault because it is definitely my fault, which is not the truth. Today, I need to be encouraged to believe those things I tell others, God is faithful and it is ok to not be the perfect mom, wife, and everything else because I am doing it w/o Jesus when I try to do it all myself.
I can’t wait to get my hands on this book, Jennifer. Thank you for writing it.
Bless you!
Dawn
Amanda says
This book sounds amazing!! I am at this very point in my life where I am struggling with the horrible things those I love have said to me over the years. Those sentences that start with: “You know who you are…” and never end with kind words. So, no at this point, I don’t think I know who I am. But I am trying to figure that out, one day at a time… I know God loves me but I can’t imagine why… Not all that much to love it seems.
Leah says
This book sounds like exactly what I need to read…I’ve struggled in this area my whole life – even though I know the truth with my mind, my heart struggles to catch on.
Alicia says
Sounds wonderful, this book. As all other women, my list of struggles is really too long to write in a comment but I know that if we put our faith in Jesus Christ, he will help with those struggles. Thanks for the chance to win such an inspiring book. I’ll read it even if I don’t win it!!
a. macdonald says
I would love to win this book! I have a list of struggles too and can find it hard to be able to be myself and not fear rejection.
Kelly says
Getting the knowledge from my head to my heart. Better yet my soul. I can believe for everyone but me…
Venus says
I have struggled with several thinga throughout by 40 years of life. I’m reasy to stop struggling & embrace who I am – easy enough to say, so much harder to do… Thank you for sharing your journey. I look forward to reading your book!
Debra says
I would love to receive a copy of your book. I follow you on twitter and email.
Lisa Spidle says
I’ve struggled with self esteem my whole life. Comments made as a young child resonate in my head and are hard to let go. This voice tells me I’m not good enough and I fight that voice every day. I am a lay pastor working in a field that is predominately men. I fight the I’m not good enough because…. you can fill in the blank (not qualified, wrong sex etc) Furthering this, is the well intended community who still can send stinging words to my worth.
They are all lies, friends. Because I have learned I am a child of God’s and in his eyes, I’m perfect. I’m perfect because Jesus has paid the price for my imperfection. I don’t do life perfectly, but I am enough. More than enough. And if you are reading this I want you to know you are more than enough. A beautiful child who is loved. very. much!
becca says
What a powerful message. I recently started serving in my church’s youth ministry, working with teenage girls. It has become more apparent how females often feel less than. I want to do something to change that. What a powerful force we could be if we could lose the baggage of being not good enough and live with the confidence of being pre approved by God. I struggle with this too so I think I need to start with myself in order to help others. I struggle with my image, my parenting, my capabilities in my job, my marriage… you name it. This book sounds like a must read#
Jennie says
Confident!
Kristy Byes says
Thanks for doing a book give away. I love your story with your daughter. It amazes me that we all go through it, as girls, at some point or another. I don’t have children and never married, so there are many days that I certainly don’t feel wanted or love or enough. To be honest, I seldom feel “good enough”, as I think many of us deal with that. And we so often, so VERY often, forget that “when we are weak, He is strong”. Than when we don’t feel “good enough”, He is “more than enough” for each of us. And that we are “more than enough” for Him. So much so, He was willing to die for us. Thanks for reminding each of us of that.
KB says
I would truly like a copy of your book. I would so love to be confident in His love, understanding and accepting fully that I am loved just as I am.
Anna Marie says
I would love to read this book. And try to imagine that as I did, the truths it contains would speak into my wounded heart. I type this as yet another argument – the broken remnants of my sister & I’s childhood spent in domestic violence – ripped its way through my house. Yet another wounded howling, language too ugly to repeat flying in the air and staining the walls as our younger sister – innocently born after the initial marriages carnage – bore the brunt of years of her older siblings suppressed rage. My own anger turned cruelly inward; leaving me in the grasp of eating disorders for 15 years. I was never ENOUGH. And the pain taunted me and told me that no amount I could force myself to eat would ever be enough. Even after I recovered – still the thoughts persisted. You will never be ENOUGH…… And so I would love to believe that His words can truly do what He says – heal. And that we (my older sis & I) won’t be stuck in this Ground-hog Day of emotional warfare for the rest of our natural lives. And so I wait. And I try to believe. In the One who saved us all those years ago when we finally escaped and ran away. And in the One whose voice gently whispered to me again from upon your page: You, Anna Marie, really ARE enough.
Althea says
I have always felt that I have to prove myself and show myself worthy to be loved. It is very hard to truly understand that God loves me just as I am. To live in that knowledge with confidence is my goal.
Julie S. says
WOW! I am always struggling with the “not-enough” when it comes to me mom. I am slowly, very slowly learning that no matter what I will always be “not-enough” for her and that is okay. Its a slow progress.
lisa says
lump in my throat reading the description here. I need this reminder, daily. in particular, I do not want to compare myself to another in terms of physical appearance or worldly accomplishments. I want to live into the truth that love is not dependent upon outward things. I need to live into this truth, manifest it, in order to teach my child. I know my example will speak more than my words.
alli says
Honestly my body has been a source of pain. To feeling as if i was unworthy of a mate or a child to feeling i was unacceptable in my own community, i have battled feeling loved for years feeling rejected by even God. It truly has defined my whole entire life. I had a season of confidence, but im not married and still suffering the negative consequences of a man who rejected me as a child and made me feel hated. I tell u prisons arefilled with ppl like me, who just want to know they are ok. Thnks love to read it
Julie says
Learning to accept what I see in the mirror as beautiful and loved by the King – loved I can easily accept … beautiful has been a tougher acceptance …
Katelyn says
Feeling as though I am Enough is quite hard when you are struggling with deep depression. Every time it look in the mirror, in the company of others and even alone with my thoughts I feel like I will never be good enough, pretty enough, thin enough, loved , wanted and the list goes on. When you are barely keeping your head above water it’s hard to remember that God loves me and that in His eyes I am more than enough. I’ve struggled with depression and anxiety since I was middle school. I am now 28 years and going through the worst depression I’ve ever dealt with. I’m ashamed to admit this however there have been many times when giving up and wanting/contemplating death seemed like the only answer. Only by the grace of God am I still here. I struggle everyday, every moment with feeling like I need to self harm or stop eating. I realize that these issues will always be a part of my life and something I will need to fight daily. (I just hope I’m strong enough each time). Again, it’s by the grace of God that I am 4 weeks clean of self harm and doing better with my eating disorder. I know that God loves me and will always be there however when the pit is deep and dark it’s difficult to see the light. I am a people pleaser and will do anything to help another no matter the cost (financially, emotionally, etc.) to me. I want to see myself like God sees me and tell Satan to take a hike! I DESPERATELY want freedom from my depression. I would love to win a copy of this book however I’ll be super excited for whomever you choose. Thank you for reminding this very broken heart that I am loved and good enough in God’s eyes. I hope and pray I can continually remind myself of this and that one day it will take the place of my depression. God Bless you and your ministry!
Peggy Forstad says
dear Jennifer,
How priceless is this honest response to your precious daughter. If we could only know that our Father in Heaven is loving us the same way you loved your daughter. Trying to make up that gap for my two daughters and five granddaughters. Thanks for the encouragement
Robin C says
I need to see ME. All of me. As God sees me. The more I talk to my fantabulous husband of nearly a decade about it, the more we’re realizing that something is desperately broken in me- somewhere, as a small girl, I heard “not enough” and the Enemy has been whispering (and shouting) it in my ear ever since. Not thin enough. Not pretty enough. Not smart enough. Not good enough. Not wife enough. Not mom enough. Not Christian enough. Bad, bad, bad.
I’m starting to learn that for all the not enoughs, there IS grace enough. In a moment-by-moment way, for my not-enough-ness. But what I’d like to see and learn and internalize is that, covered by grace enough, I AM enough.
wilma says
The loudest words I forever hear are “Not good enough” and the heaviness of guilt at the end of every day is so discouraging – I’d love to be able to completely understand or at least be able to rest in that God loves me regardless of anything I do or don’t do – to live every day in the sweet presence of God, live through His spirit and not my intentional efforts to get it right each day, to stop comparing myself to every other beautiful woman or talented, creative moms, full of wisdom bloggers, etc.! I need an understanding of grace, how His power is perfected in my weaknesses. I’d love to read this book!
Denise Marcelle says
I can’t WAIT to read your book, Ms. Jennifer! I’ve recently been telling myself that all of the beautiful things that God says about others are for me too! It has taken me years – actually, all of my life – to apply His promises to myself & not just pour them into other people. This book is just what I need! I believe that so many women will begin to see themselves the way God sees them. Bless you!
Gina says
Too many of us, myself included, judge ourselves by what’s on the outside and on the basis of what “they” think. Oh if only I could see myself as He sees me!
Debbie C says
I’ve come a long way in my insecurities, but I still have issues I deal with on a daily basis. Like if I were smaller I would feel better about myself, or why did I say that? I worry afterwards I may be taken wrong. I’m so grateful for a patient, loving God Who loves me just the way I am.
Jen says
It is sometimes a daily fight to see God’s amazing Grace poured out on we
who are “in Christ”.
Oh” for this to be easier and to rest in Him and what Christ has already done for us.
Laura says
I just need to remember that now matter what He loves me and thinks I’m beautiful and smart and enough. Even at 50 with a flabby belly & thighs and wrinkles around my eyes and age spots on my hands ….. and when I’m tired, just tired…. thank you for the reminder.
Debra Jean says
I pray to have the overwhelming feeling of life long rejection to be erased from my body,mind and heart. I need to believe I am enough …. Enough to be loved & to love.
Linda Ann says
I need to remember that God loves me and my imperfections. It’s OK if I don’t have it all together.
Darla Bunyan says
In so many areas of my life, but, with myself mainly!
Ruth says
WITH ALL OF MY RELATIVES
Paula says
It depends on the day, right? At the moment, I would say my appearance – like my body and health. I have lived with a condition all my life and just as I think that getting older and experience has given me the perspective I need to go forward, I feel sick, incapable and then inadequate and.. not enough. I need to remember that I am pre-approved for all good things God has in store FOR and THROUGH me. I am whole and there is nothing lacking for me to do what God has created me to do. It’s so easy to feel that I fall short.. but that’s because I’m falling short of mine and others’ expectations. Not God’s.
Kathy says
I have always struggled with BELIEVING that what God says about us means me. Never have I felt “good enough” and yet in truth I am with Christ. I know it is a choice to just believe truth.
Thanks for your book.
Helen G. says
I would love to hear that I’m approved when it comes to motherhood. I have 3 precious kids and sometimes (or often times), I hardly know what I’m doing. I realize that God has blessed me with these lives, they’re not my own. And to know that He loves them more than I could ever love, it’s mind boggling. I guess it’s the shame I have that I fail daily… or just the reality that I’m not perfect. Well, is that it? I’m not perfect, and I need to know that God approves me, even if it’s just my human efforts to please Him.
Diana P. says
I have always felt that my life didn’t matter. What do I have to offer? I know God put me here for a purpose and I just need to be reminded of that at times. I would love to read your book and see my life in a new way.
Stephanie says
I feel like I need to prove my worth by accomplishing something wonderful each day in my home and regularly outside my home so those around me will notice me. Enough with the not- enoughs!!!
Rachel says
I want to remember that my worth is hidden in our King Jesus Christ, not in what I look like or what godly guys may (or may not) pay attention to me as I am a single young woman surrounded by young women who seem to have found godly boyfriends. I am wed to the King of Kings, and that is my worth and that is more than enough!
Tracey Bledsaw says
my best friend, my love of my life ,my husband passed away after 29 years of marriage due to prostate and bone cancer in December 2011. The loss was and is at times unbearable . I was very angry at God for what had happened. I blamed him. But by the Grace of God I was introduced slowly back to him ( by a very special friend). My life is on a different path now. But with my Faith in God and My Trust in God He will get me thru. I am new on here and I am so enjoying your posts. I will look forward to reading any of your books. God Bless Your new friend Tracey
Jolie Stultz says
I would like to see myself in the mirror as God sees me~ I’ve gained so much weight over the last 2 years and I’m really struggling with that. My boyfriend of 10 years had an affair and left me for our married friend. The betrayal along with insecurities really hit me at times. I try to remind myself that I’m the apple of Gods eye, that I’m fearfully, wonderfully made and that God has someone that He has planned for my life. But I know that my confidence needs to be restored. I can’t wait to read this book!
Kelli Zarifis says
I have such a body image issue that I allow to let dictate my mood, whether I can allow myself to be in a group, and whether I am worthy of love. I am working on KNOWING that God loves everything about me and that I am His daughter. I would love to win a book, but I believe I will probably get it anyway. I love the posts. Thank you.
Kristen L. Gray says
With the hundreds of posts before me…no need to share. Just would like the book. Thanks for the opportunity!
Rachel says
I would like to see myself pre-approved regardless of what I do to try to please God. I know it in my head, but I struggle with believing it in my heart.
Chelle says
Jennifer,
I love that this is quietly becoming a movement…I’ve already referenced you several times, reminding myself and others to stop trying so hard, because we are PreApproved. Imagine the power of a generation of women fully embracing that blessed truth,
Thank you.
Never ever stop chasing Grace and Peace.
Chelle
Angie in Guernsey says
I love this word ‘preapproved’. I’m struggling through this whole area at the moment – and annoyed that these insecurities get worse as I grow older! Jesus MUST have the victory!
Rosie Davies says
I seem to need to daily be reminded that I am pre-approved, enough simply because Jesus has done it all. I need to remember that I am enough without the first class degree, successful career and good reputation among my peers. I need to remember that even when I am hindered by Chronic Fatigue, that God doesn’t love me any less – even if I’m stuck in bed all day. I need to remember that even though I am only 21 and don’t know what I am doing with my life I am secure, my identity is in Christ alone. God loves me for being me, not for external achievements. Thanks for your posts Jennifer, they are such an encouragement to me!
Meredith says
This mama needs those words today and all days.
Kelli says
Such a needed reminder!! Thank you
Sam says
Sounds like a terrific book with a critical message. Thank you!
Deb says
I laughed when you mentioned putting on mascara without a mirror – poked myself in the eye trying that once. This morning, as I sat & waited with a friend going in for surgery, looking at her with no makeup on, thinking “Please Lord, don’t let me go through this” – I was more concerned about not being able to have mascara (don’t wear much besides that) than the ‘what if’ it were me facing surgery? Lord, help! At 58, God has broken many, many insecurities – not worried about the laugh lines, the weight gain through menopause, the fact that we aren’t the same at 58 as we were at 28 – and that’s a gift. God has worked His love & compassion into my DNA but… don’t make me go without mascara! I’d love the book & continue to grow in the Truth of who I am in Christ & to help others in that journey a well. Thanks for the offer!
monica says
I am constantly looking for approval. I always feel inadequate about myself I know God has a plan for me in this world but I am not sure what it is. I often ask myself why would he put me on this earth to suffer and feel this way but I know there is a reason. I think that there is a reason why I am here I just need to figure out why?
Rachel Sitton says
This looks like the perfect book for me bc I’m tired of trying to be perfect for others. 🙂
Jackie says
Your words Jennifer are so clear and true…you have spoken to me through the clouds of my doubting my acceptability and favor by others in a group that admires the so called “perfection” …It’s all lies, and the truth you speak of is the way Jesus accepts us…as we are…
THANKS for the wake up call/reminder (I do know that I am pre approved by God
but the world is so full of reminders that we are in fact not enuf…that we need
something else to make us acceptable…the advertising industry does this very well, and they make money off our insecurity…..I applaud you for the wonderful work you are doing to uncover the facade of deception and give women the encouragement and words to give up all that keeps us from each other and our own true selves….the way God sees us…..loved and beautiful…God bless us everyone.
Debbie Thompson says
The Lord is setting me free from my need for human approval and praise, nudging me into areas of ministry where I FEEL like a complete failure, yet quietly whispering HIS wholehearted pleasure and approval IN CHRIST! He has blessed me with the gift of simple poetry to remind me of His goodness, loving sovereignty, and faithfulness to every promise. “Love Idol” is affirming this process, encouraging me to press on, KNOWING He is “well pleased” with me! Thanks for your “in-couraging” ministry!
THROUGH AND THROUGH
I belong to YOU,
so I can hear the words You say.
I don’t have to fret or doubt,
or wonder in dismay.
Lord, You know me through and through,
and love me just the same.
Do what You must do in me,
to glorify Your name,
and to help me see the TRUTH,
of who I am in YOU;
set apart to bring You praise,
in all I say and do.
I am Yours, a daughter of,
the One True God and King;
treasured, cherished, loved, adored,
in spite of everything!
Weak and broken, damaged, frail;
You cleanse, forgive, restore;
molding me to be like Christ,
You couldn’t love me more!
Wouldn’t it be better if…???
In Christ, I am ENOUGH!
That’s the TRUTH I’m anchored on,
not sentimental fluff!
Empty me of ANYTHING,
I think I have to be.
For Your glory, I’ll be changed,
’til Christ is formed in me!
Christy says
Oh I’m so in need of seeing every area of my life as God sees me. I was sexually abused so I see myself as ruined, dirty, filthy, gross, shameful, no value, trash, good-for-nothing. Please pray for me. Thank you very much. Would love to win a copy of your book. Not sure if the giveaway is still going on or not.