It’s been a month since I saw my own reflection. I haven’t looked in a mirror since March 5, and I won’t look at myself again until Easter morning.
I don’t look at myself when I brush my teeth, or when I blow-dry my hair. I don’t take that one final peek before stepping out the door to go to church or a speaking engagement. I bravely (or perhaps, ridiculously) wield a mascara wand without the help of a mirror.
The whole experiment has been a huge lesson in trust. With these four words— “How do I look?”— I am daily entrusting my physical appearance to two small humans and a guy who raises pigs for a living.
But I gave up mirrors anyway. I gave them up, because I was tired.
I was tired of the self-degradation that we engage in as women. I was tired of how we women judge ourselves by the externals, even though God tells us He favors the heart.
And I was tired of all the ways that we women tell ourselves that we’re not enough—or let our bathroom scales tell us that we’re too much.
So I covered my mirrors with words that tell me how I am loved, cherished, chosen and “preapproved” by God.
The day after I covered my mirrors, my youngest daughter, age nine, asked if she could cover hers, too. Because she didn’t want me to take this Easter journey alone.
Every morning, my daughter and I read these tangible reminders of who we are, in Christ. When we are focused less on the self, we reflect more on the Savior. Together we are saying, “fewer mirrors, more Messiah.”
This is our battle cry: “We’ve had enough of the not-enoughs.”
Over the last few weeks, hundreds of women have been joining us in that battle cry. (OK, so most of them aren’t giving up mirrors. Because they have what’s commonly referred to as COMMON SENSE.)
But they are every bit as committed as my daughter and me. Each of those women is telling herself that she is “preapproved” and loved by God.
And you can, too.
Here’s how:
Tack and tape reminders to your mirrors, bathroom scales, refrigerators, cubicle walls and computers—so that you’ll remember you have nothing to prove.
Because In Christ, you are already approved. You are preapproved.
The truth is, everybody in life wants to know that she’s loved.
The truth is, we already are.
But our hearts need reminders, like this:
We need to know that we are preapproved, in all those places where we feel “less than.”
Even before God made the world, He chose us. We really are preapproved. He loved us before we stepped one foot on the planet. Before God created Mount Everest, the Great Barrier Reef, or Niagara Falls — before He even sent the globe spinning on its axis — He decided to love us, in Christ. We are preapproved.
So, the question is: Are you ready to believe it?
Join a movement of women, declaring their preapproved status in Christ. Tack reminders anywhere that you feel like you’re “not enough” in life.
We are with you. We are cheering you on. Together, we can say it out loud to ourselves, and out loud to the world:
We’ve had enough of the not-enoughs!
Find the Preapproved Printables here and here.
{Printables created by Annie Barnett of Be Small Studios. Book Photo by Caryn Christensen.}
Leave a Comment
Rachel says
Hi – what an inspiring post! Thank you!!
I want to be comfortable in who I am in terms of my personality and God-given gifts – I don’t want to hide them or be ashamed of them: I know that God made me who I am, and I don’t want to tuck them away to save myself from weird looks or embarrassment.
I would love this book!!
Blessings
Rachel
Jennifer Lee says
Thanks, Rachel. Praying that God would have you feel comfortable and beautiful in the skin you’re in. God bless.
Christine says
This blog has come just at a time when I need it. When I doubt that I will ever be REALLY loved by a man again, and wonder if I ever was, even though I was married for 28 years. When my core is broken open wide by the love of God and I’m desperately trying to hang onto Jesus without skin on. When I cry myself to sleep because the vulnerability has cut me to the core. I need something to help me remember exactly what God has done and will still do on my behalf. I don’t think I’ll go so far as covering my mirrors, I’ve managed to get tunnel vision when it comes to a mirror anyway. I really only check that my hairs about right, no make up, ever, but I do think I might do some printing and decorating. I want to sense the love of God as HE said it is, not diluted by the world and religion. Thank you.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Christine, I am praying for you.
If you do use the printables, share in community with us by using the hashtag #preapproved. I’d love to encourage you.
Beth WIlliams says
Prayers for peace and contentment for you Christine! May God shower you with His love on so many levels. Prayers that you can feel good about yourself and love yourself.
Father,
Please show Christine that she is loved and pre approved. Shower her with you love and hugs! Give her the peace she needs to feel that love!
AMEN!
va says
I wish I could love my ability to overcome the way God loves it…I know it is good but I really just feel like I don’t want that ability because if God doesn’t give more than we could handle then he would have to start throwing a lot less things at me and maybe I wouldn’t feel so defeated.
Jamie Rohrbaugh says
Hi Jennifer, great thoughts. A wonderful reminder that encouraged me today. Thank you!
ki mandigo says
Would love to win copy of this book to give to my 17 year old step daughter. What an amazing message for a you girl who is surrounded by messages daily at school TV music magazines that you are not enough. Not to mention I would love to read it myself.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Starts young, yes? And we can carry those false narratives about ourselves into our middle age and beyond.
Brittnie (A Joy Renewed) says
Love this! My scale has “You are worth more than a number” written on it in big, bold, sharpie!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Ooo! I like that.
tara says
I would love to see myself preapproved in my mothering skills!
Cathy says
I would love to be preApproved in my intelligence.
Anna says
I own a small buisness in the fitness industry. I felt God and do feel God specifically calling me to this…as women from all walks come together 6 days a week to be healthy next to one another…kids in tow…pushing strollers. Even so….this is an unlikely career choice for me. I prefer eating scones and apple fritters and dream days are spent at Panera, feet up, blogging. I still hear the voice of my elementary pe teacher telling my whole class that I wasn’t enough. Fitness was never my forte….just a hobby-a sporadic one at that. Around others in my feild, I feel like maybe everyone can sense I don ‘t belong with them… a fraud fitness instructor. I battle these lies often…I seek to believe truth: he is made strong in weakness, he chose me for this time and place and this job, he equips me daily….etc. I’m forced to his feet, daily… perhaps why he called me to this. 🙂
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Last sentence? Totally get it. Deep in my core. Thanks for sharing this
marci says
I definitely want to read this book! I am tired of beating myself up over the 10 lbs I need to lose.
Sarah S says
Hi Jennifer!
Your message that we are all Pre-Approved has spoken to me before. I took you printable and posted it to my blog and shared my story that had been rejected. I’ve since deleted my blog and Facebook and all social media. My health came under attack both mental and physical. But, God has been re-starting my life in a very sweet way. First I had to focus on remembering who I am. My family, my friends, my husband, my hopes, my likes, and my heritage. Then, God began showing me the importance of the order he set and being under the covering of that order. God, Christ, Husband, Wife, Children…etc. Not that I am less than my husband…but that I am protected in his care. It is a beautiful place of peace. I’m so glad you are here sharing you’re story. And I know that as God reorganizes my life into a slower space he will show me when it’s time to share my story again. God bless you!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Do you feel you’ll ever return to blogging? Or do you feel you’re at peace with this? Is God calling you to blog, or did you leave out of fear or rejection? Praying for you, Sarah.
Sarah S says
Those are good questions. There was fear…not so much fear of rejection. But, I was sick. My husband and I felt it was for the best at the time. I think God is calling me to be still…love my husband…and take things slow. Blogging may return in time. For now, I’m logging the basics of my days which may turn into keeping a journal.
Liz says
I would like to feel preApproved in relationships, especially with other women. We moved last year and I am still struggling to feel confident being myself around the other moms at school pickup. I’d love to make connections with women nearby, but often my own self doubt keeps me from joining conversations or starting one!
Carrie Smith says
I have been given grace before I mess up. This post matched well with another one I read this morning to remind me God has covered my mistakes before I even made them.
Yes, I still need to repent and turn from those mistakes, but I do not need to hold onto them or allow them any space in my life once I have let them go. That space is for Jesus alone.
Thank you and blessings to you on your journey! 🙂
Jess says
I would love to see how God sees me around my family
sally says
How beautiful for your daughter to see you take this journey and to travel with you! What an incredible thing to ingrain from such a young age!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
It has been such a joy to have Anna on the journey. And we are so close! Neither of us has looked in a mirror since March 5. But in ten days, when Easter Sunday dawns, we’ll see ourselves again. I hope we’ll see ourselves as God sees us.
Ruth says
BY OR WITH OTHER WOMEN IN MY CHURCH
Danelle says
The book is arriving on my doorstep today. Can’t wait. Sending tons of love your way my friend.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Thank you, Danelle… Praying for you as you hold those words in your message — and in your preapproved heart. xo
Krista says
I would love to see how he sees me as a woman of faith. So many times I see opportunities to release my faith and I’ve stepped out in it (more recently) to see where he is taking me but, sometimes I tend to dismiss his gentle nudging and then after it’s all said and done I feel like i’ve failed him miserably. I’m thankful though that he’s always giving me grace and plenty of chances to start over(new opportunites to step out into). This looks like an awesome book. I would definitely share it with a friend after I read it of course 😉
lisa says
I wanted to share this post from SheLoves because it resonates with what you have written here. God bless you on your journey.
http://shelovesmagazine.com/2014/a-dare-to-stop-looking/
April says
Wow, what an eye opener in how we should be living our lives. Thank you for that. I would love to add one of your preapproved signs on my scale and bathroom mirror. How that constant reminder could slowly change the way I see myself. Wow.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
April — If you add them, feel free to upload to Instagram and hashtag with #preapproved. I want to find you and encourage you!
Lacey says
I love this idea! Thank you so much for sharing it, for making the graphics and sharing those too! I’m going to use them! Thanks!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Aren’t they lovely? They were created by Annie Barnett of Be Small Studios — just for us to use and remind ourselves that we are preapproved!
Brittany says
I would love to feel pre-approved by my outward appearance.
I have been struggling with my weight due to some health problems, and have gained 60 pounds!
Would love to have this book.
Kim J says
I would like to be preamp proved in my chronic illness and know that just because I can no longer do the things I once did, that I am still valuable in His eyes!!
Tristi says
Not looking in a mirror sounds extreme but I love the idea that you are entrusting the approval to others besides yourself. Inspiring!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Tristi … it’s been surprisingly easy, actually, and very freeing. I do have some funny stories to tell though. Like the time I had mascara on my cheek. 🙂
CyndaP says
Thank you. I’ll put the “preapproved” label on my scale.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Awesome! Share with us on social media, and use our #preapproved hashtag so we can encourage you.
Suzanne says
Wow, so beautiful Jennifer, thank you!
I am on a journey to make some healthier choices for Gods temple, my body. Although my flesh constantly screams “I can’t do this” .. I must constantly remind it, that it does not have the final say so!
Being “Pre-Approved” is an awesome alternative to the lies the enemy feeds me throughout the day!
Cheryl Jacobo says
Thank you. I need to stop being so hard on myself!
Melody Ann says
Which one to pick?! Needing to kick the need for approval of others – especially those people who just “don’t get me” or my personality. To rejoice in being the me God created me to be.
Thank you for what you are sharing through this book.
rachel says
I’d like to know (believe, and act like) I’m preapproved as a parent, wife, friend, Christian. It sounds so simple, but it feels so hard! Thank you for your insights! I’m hopeful that I can change my way of thinking.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Praying for you, Rachel, and for every woman pouring her heart out here in the comments today.
Tammy Mashburn says
Reading and loving the book, but would love to win one for my daughter who is a recovering addict & has battled eating disorders for many years & is now trying to break the cycle for her daughters.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
So glad to hear that you are enjoying the book. I am so sorry about your daughter and am praying for her tonight.
Stephanie T. says
Thank you for those beautiful words. Through the years, God has proven to me time and time again that my past is REDEEMED, and there is nothing that I could ever do to deserve that. I compare myself to others, subconsciously thinking that they deserve more than I do. That God must be happier with them than He is with me. I’d like to kick that desire to compare, and instead be reminded everyday that His approval of me is the only approval worth caring about.
Becca H says
I love this book already and as much as I know I need it as an adult woman, I desperately want to share it with my 7 year old daughter who I am already watching struggle to attain the acceptance of her friends and classmates. How I pray that she will understand the love of her creator more than the love of her friends! Thank you for speaking/writing truth into the hearts of women & I can’t wait to read your book.
BethAnn says
Wow, this is so inspirational. All my life I was the pretty one, the outgoing one, the smart one, then got older. I’ve gained weight and the wrinkles are starting. Men no longer hold the door open for me. I look at myself in the mirror and say, “When did this happen? When did I stop being pretty?” I need to look and see through God’s eyes, becuase I’m sure he thinks I’m gorgeous! Thanks for reminding me of this!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
BethAnn… I GUARANTEE you, He thinks you’re gorgeous… Psalm 45:11.
Lindsey H. says
One area I would love to see myself as God does as preapproved and loved is the area of physical appearance.
Morgan says
Woah that was an awesome post! I want to be comfortable with who I am athletically. I go to the gym with my roommate every day and she loves running and that’s just not who I am. Every day I feel bad or like I’m letting her down when I don’t want to run as far as she does. I want to feel comfortable that I am preApproved in my abilities and to realize that I should not feel ashamed because I hate running.
I would love to win a copy of your book!! 🙂
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
I hope and pray you can feel comfortable to do what feels right for you, Morgan. God delights in you!
Emly says
I would love to win this book. I am also on a “no mirror” journey, only I do look in the mirror, but I don’t put on my makeup! It is a bit scary to go out in public, not wearing makeup, and feeling ok with that, knowing God loves me as I am. Both my daughters wear makeup, my youngest learning about it, and I want both of them to “get it” that it isn’t necessary to be beautiful – they already are!
Thanks for your story and the opportunity to share and learn.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Oh … how fascinating! How long are you going without makeup? Would love to know more, and to hear about what God is showing you through this.
Trudy says
Thank you, Jennifer. I just taped up the second sign on one of the doors of my desk. I only have to glance to the right to remind myself of it. 🙂
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Love it! If you’re on instagram, hashtag with #preapproved. I’d love to encourage you there!
Kim W. says
Thank you for this inspiring post. I love what you’re doing by not letting the mirror determine how you feel about yourself. There are so many things that we, as women, let control us. Having the reminder that we are chosen and pre-approved is empowering through the Holy Spirit! My life circumstances right now are such that I need this as a constant reminder. I will definately make use of the printables to keep me focused on who I am and whose I am.
Debi Schuhow says
I’m comfortable in my own skin nowadays but I sure would like to see my “mothering” the way God sees it.
Heidi says
I would like to be entered in your book giveaway. I think the message sounds like what I need right now in my life. I have been really struggling this past year. I struggle to see myself as anything positive. I wonder why God made me.
Mae says
Preapproved! I’v stepped up to the plate believing I’m preapproved, welcomed, then something changes within Me: I’m a type A I guess you could say, everything has to be perfect, and I am instantly reminded, I’m not!! As a little girl I was always compared to my pretty cousin,
So even though I knew then too Jesus loved me, i left lesser than. I grew up with
that I’m not approved, let alone, preapproved by others. I always was just fine, the weight of being compared I began a journey I never felt that in my heart. I’d love
to read your book!
Teresa says
I have been inspired as I’ve read your posts about being preapproved. The printables are on the night stand beside my bed so that I can look at them when I wake up in the morning. Like so many others who have commented, outward appearance is an area that has brought me struggles. I wrote about it a few posts ago on my blog. I would love a copy of your book.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
I love that you have the printables by your bed. So when you wake, you are immediately reminded of the truth about who and WHOSE you are. If you think of it, take a photo and hashtag #preapproved on Instagram. I’d love to encourage you.
Lyn Dershem says
“Preapproved!” That was a sacred echo for me today, as the Holy Spirit whispered the same thing to me this week, as I struggle with negative comments made by a Bipolar family member, going through a psychosis. I was reminded that I am dearly loved by God and I am enough. I won’t be defeated. I am Preapproved! Thanks for the reminder. The timing was perfect.
Kim says
I’m printing these for a coworker. She desperately needs to know she is loved and preapproved. The food, the shopping, the men, the stuff will not fill the need for approval. I will be buying the book for her even if I don’t win it.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Thank you, Kim. I pray for your coworker.
Marisa M Ford says
Thank you. After 40 plus years of seeking approval of others in my life, I am beginning to realize the only approval I need is God’s and he gave it on the cross long ago. I have started to live my life to suit me. It is hard and I catch myself slipping in to my old ways but God’s grace and his faithfulness is what keeps me going. I am printing out these Preapproved graphics to put everywhere to remind me of how great I am without others approval.
Tara says
Thank you for the inspiring words and the good ideals. I am getting ready to have a ladies day out and I am going to use some of your ideals. This will be the very first time I did this but the Lord has put it on my heart to do. He told me that he wanted me to look at him several Times a day and server him through this ladies day out. I enjoy readings your books. A friend of mine and me reads them
Thank you for you beautiful words and writings. You are a inspiration to me in my writing. I look forward to reading more
Patrice says
This is a grand idea. My sisters in Christ and I are each feeling beat up, if not defeated, by some aspect of self. To truly walk in the Way of Christ, to live intentionally as the Holy Spirit who dwells within and to praise Our Lord for His gift of eternal salvation, we must live beyond the horizon of expectation drawn by other humans.
Gillian says
How inspiring!! I just came home from meeting with my pastor and pouring out my heart about my struggles of being needy!! I feel I must have the approval of a man to feel worthy or significant and all the while I am feeling this way, I am hearing God tell me that He is all I need and He thinks I am beautiful. In this age of many types of media, it is so important that we, as women, do not fall into the trap that Satan has laid out for us and hold on to the hand of the One who loves us regardless of our looks, weight, height, jean size and struggles we live with. I have struggled for over 30 years with low self esteem (I am now 53) and every day I have to make a conscious effort to walk away from the lie of the enemy. Thanks so much for this!!
Kathy Dryden says
I am excited to read all the new books and more excited to hear His words. Hope to gather more from the words here. God bless the author and the oppurtunity to be more for all.
Susan Shipe says
I have preapproved taped to the whiteboard over my computer in my office. Funny, when I type preapproved on my Kindle, auto text puts disapproved!!! How profound is that?
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Oh wow. Very profound…. Thanks for sharing, Susan
Tameka Newkirk says
I this is so inspirational! One area in my life that I would love to see myself as the way God sees me is through my failures. I strive to be all that God wants me to be, but then there are sometimes I don’t meet that mark and then the agony of not liking who I am comes. Wishing I could be as good as others start to taunt my mind. I know no one is perfect, but I have so many people watching me and looking up to me that I don’t feel like I have time for imperfections or being “human”. I never feel that I am as good as others, when I know that God has anointed me. Thanks for sharing this! It really helped me. I’m sure the book will as well!!
Irma says
That was a nice post. Love it! Cause we are preapproved (:
debbie says
I love the idea of covering the mirrors in God’s Word.
Why do we worry so much about what the outter woman looks like instead of our hearts…
Mandy Melton says
I love the printables…..what a great reminder each day. Thanks for the giveaway!
Debbie says
What a great challenge. Thanks for this post and for following God’s leading with writing the book.
I’d like to see myself as God sees me when it comes to accomplishments. I get so tied up in thinking that I need to do a bazillion things in order to have value, simply because that’s the culture we live in. In reality, I know God cares about my heart rather than how many things I do and He would rather me do more with little than little with more . . . it’s just tough to fight it.
Donna says
Love it! What a wonderful idea. I can remember the first time i read that verse and got it! The cell doors flew open!!! I jave to remind myself constantly of the truth. I am preapproved as a mom, wife and woman, even my quirky personality is preapproved.
Alexis says
I am definitely not at a point where I believe it. I just can’t wrap my head around this truth. I am looking forward to reading this book.
Mollie H says
Hi! Thank you so much for the give-away. I guess one area I would like to see myself as God sees me is in my worth at having a purpose in His kingdom. Some days I feel like I’ve failed Him in such major ways there is no way He can ever redeem me and use me to further the kingdom. Godspeed!
Crystal says
I would love to see myself as God sees me in the area of sharing my story & speaking to others more fully in my ministry Daily Grace. I know I am called, but so often feel too inadequate to go out & speak.
Amanda Taylor says
This is such a needed book and one I will for sure be checking out. I love the idea of the print outs. My area would be the area of comparison. Constantly comparing myself to what others look like and where they are in life versus what God sees me as and where He wants me to be.
Holly says
Oh! Printing out the printables now and would LOVE to have your book, something I have struggled with for many years (since grade school and being bullied through high school), really learning to see myself as God does is beyond words! Would love to be able to share it with my two gorgeous adult daughters as well!
Blessings!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Hi Holly … My struggle goes way back to grade-school too. I’m standing with you, in our battle cry: “We are preapproved!”
Symone Brown says
I love this idea! I want the Preapproved reminders in many places. Thank you for this wonderful post! I would love to read what’s in your book. 🙂
April says
I love your lent idea. This world needs more women like you. Thank you for sharing this. I think I would love to be able to be in my friendships and know that I am enough. I often feel I am lacking and have nothing to offer but I know God feels differently and so do my friends. I wish I could let go of needing their approval and just rest in Gods preapproval.
Love xx
betheliza says
hi, yes i want your book. thanks.
Elizabeth Jones says
Wow, this is a lesson I’ve been battling all my life! I want to see myself the way God sees me and feel grace the way he freely gives it daily….not a checklist in my life to live up to or something I have to constantly earn. It’s amazing how I know better but still fall into the lies that I have to “earn” God’s love to be approved. Thank you for this post.
Kendra Dahl says
Loved this. I’ve recently been covering the walls in our home with similar artwork delaying our identity in Christ. I want to believe it but need to be reminded pretty much constantly. I would love to read your book. 🙂
LISA says
I would like to see myself as God sees me in regards to my schooling (getting my Bachelor of Theology and completing a year and a half in Seminary). The latter was an extremely difficult time as 2 men/teachers tried to tell me I couldn’t possibly have been called to the ministry because my grades weren’t high enough…ever since I’ve had to truly force myself to apply for the odd pastoral position because of these rude & horrible comments. It has been about 5 years now and I still struggle with a lack of self esteem and wonder if I’ll ever be able to obtain full time work in the ministry.
**I would love a copy of that book you’re giving away, (maybe it will help with my self esteem issues)***
Cindy S says
I would love to be pre-approved as a wife, mother and friend. Thanks!
Stephanie says
What an amazing message. I would love this book for me and my 10 yr old daughter. You see I am broken by my own sin But I have been forgiven. I want to be an example to my daughter of how forgiven looks and not how I have been lately, seeking approval from someone who hasn’t come back home.
alison says
I would love to feel happy just the way I am
Julie says
I want to remember I am preapproved in the area of friendships, and as a wife and mother.
Marjan says
Preapproved and His. The words sound so wonderfully simple, so why are they so hard to comprehend and fully believe? Could it be that all of our lives we have heard, nothing comes easy, anything worth having is worth working hard for, and there is no such thing as free. Why do we choose to believe some words over others? Keep speaking those words of truth, some of us just need more repetitions than others for the true meaning to sink in. Looking forward to reading your book.
Loresa says
What an encourager you are, I want to encourage as well, but you need to believe it yourself first right? Thanks for reaching out. Would love to receive your book.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Good point, Loresa. Praying you know it, heart-deep, how much God adores you. xo
Kim says
A group of friends just finished Lysa TerKeurst’s “Unglued” book, and in it she shares a story in which she was “not approved” for a credit card purchase. It sent her into a spiral of insecurity and wrong-thinking. Our group spent some time discussing this. How cool that your post today was on the being “pre-approved”!! Thanks, Jennifer!!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Love that! Thanks for sharing.
mark says
I am a man with a beautiful wife and two beautiful daughters. My prayer is that all three of them can learn to see themselves as pre-approved. I want them to see themselves in the way that I do, but even more importantly the way that God sees them!
lisa says
Thank you for sharing your journey… I love your idea. I also love reading all the posts from all the many other ladies. We all have similar weaknesses and struggles…but we can all pray for each other to reflect the Love of God instead of seeing flaws in our earthly skin. Thank you.
Katie Reid says
I would love to see myself as God does in the area of motherhood, and say goodbye to the imaginary Mama Police who points out all my shortcomings and puts unrealistic standards upon my shoulders.
Mandy says
Such an uplifting post, thank you. I would like to see myself in my mind as Christ sees me, instead of all the negative labels which have become at home in my thinking.
Sarah says
This is wonderful! I love the idea of hanging up “preapproved” in areas where we feel less than! For me personally, I need to hang this one the camera. I have such a hard time seeing myself accurately in photos & it’s hard because I love documenting life in pictures.
karen says
that what i have to say is enough to be heard…
Amy says
I would like to see myself as pre-approved as a friend, definitely! 🙂
I really liked this post and the idea!!
Deana says
I want to see myself as God sees me and love myself as He loves me, despite the weight and the imperfections. I want my body size not to matter to me, so that I believe that I am acceptable and pre-approved and worth something.
CathyAnn says
Your message today is so meaningful! Thank you for reminding me. I am definitely going to do some posting around the house. One of the areas for me is my physical appearance.
Tracy says
I would love to have your book for my lending library for so many women I see who need
to know that they are pre approved.
JoniG. says
I long to see my abilities as God sees them, instead of not enough.
Thank you for sharing your walk and what you are learning. You encourage me.
Angela says
Oh I love what you’ve done with the mirrors … I did something similar with the scale and with clothing size tags. I got rid of my scale 15 years ago, although there is one in our bathroom now but it just collects dust. I have a general idea about what size I wear, but when I shop I just pick out things that look like they will fit and then I try them on and if they look good, great … if not, I decide that cut wasn’t good for my shape. I love your idea about posting other reminders around the house and I am definitely going to try that. Thank you for your encouragement.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
I love that, Angela! What a great way for a woman to know she’s NOT a number.
Brandee says
As I read this book I see myself on each page that I turn- the 39 year old woman still trying to gain that approval that the world offers. It is exhausting and I want a new heart. This year has already been one of huge transformation for me. God began a deep healing 10 years ago from the pain of childhood abuse and growing up with an alcoholic father. Now 10 years later He is digging deeper and I feel like I am in that season of intense healing again, only this time instead of healing the deep roots of pain and shame of my past, it is a refinement for my future. A future where I no longer have to stay bound to people pleasing so I can truly minister to women and walk them through the healing God has brought me through. He is teaching me who I am so I can proclaim who He is to a hurting world. It is amazing and this book is one tool He is using in this journey. Thank you for following Him Jennifer and to be willing to be vulnerable so others can heal too.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Thank you, Brandee.
Jane Gillespie says
I have always seen myself as “less” than other women. Afraid to speak up, speak out and that my efforts never would measure up to what others can do. The Lord HAS preapproved me and I need to remember that and forget my fears..
Alexis says
I would LOVE to win a copy of your book! It looks like a delightful, re-affirming read!
I love the idea of how God pre-approved us! He loves us just as we are, for we are “fearfully and wonderfully made” as The Bible says in Psalm 139:14 (and a dear friend of mine just reminded me of that fact yesterday).
Konnie Hansen says
Loved the blog post .. I continue to struggle with past choices and allowing my mind to tell me of my lack of worth… I have to remember that I am chosen and accepted even through my blunders..
Gina says
Love this post. This message is so needed for so many!
Donna says
I do not feel loved in any area of my life….at home, at work….by husband or kids. I feel all alone and no one cares about me anymore.
Julie says
i want to be loved even in my messy parenting.
Faylin says
I really would like to move from this place of never good enough and falling short to a place of rest in Gods unconditional love for me.
Esther says
Hi Jennifer,
What a lovely article! Thank you for sharing your precious heart with the precious hearts of all these wonderful women at (in)courage.
I struggle with feeling I’m a good enough homemaker – as a wife of only 2 and a half months, it’s all so new to me, and it can be hard to feel that I “measure up” to the role of a farmer’s wife.
This article has been a beautiful reminder to rest in God’s acceptance of me in Christ. Thank you! x
Jennifer says
I know that many women (and men) struggle with the “approval ratings” of others and themselves. What a wonderful concept to address…God’s love is blind. He loves us no matter what. So cool! Thanks for sharing these images and this concept will stick with me more than numbers on the scale or crazy hair in the mirror. 🙂 We are preapproved by Our Father!
Alicia F says
I love this concept. I’m not brave enough to hide the mirror. I need to be reminded that I’m preapproved even when the hair is wild and I’m not wearing make-up. Thank you!
Tess says
I would love to feel good enough physically. All I can see is the tummy, the thighs, the gray hair, and the dark circles under my eyes. It is good to be reminded that He approves of me no matter what.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Yes …. And that we would see ourselves as a WHOLE woman, rather than a series of parts that we don’t like. Thanks for sharing, Tess.
Ana Brooks says
One area of my life where I would love to see myself as God sees me, is in my personality.
Jessica Robinson says
Thank you for this message! I would LOVE your book!
Michelle says
Would love to read your book. I would like to feel preapproved as a leader in the Army. I’ve spent the last 17 years putting my career ahead of God and my family because I never felt like anything I did was good enough compared to my peers in the Army. I now have my priorities straight and am finally starting to feel like doing my best IS good enough, because that’s all God asks of us.
Beth WIlliams says
I feel a lot like Anna and Michelle. I don’t feel preapproved in my career/job choice. Oh I know God put me there for such a time as this and He has plans for me, but I still don’t feel like I measure up.
I’ve spent many days crying myself to sleep wondering why I chose this line of work versus what I did before. My personality doesn’t match that of a person in this field. I’ve been on this job for 7 years with several co-worker changes, but little has changed as far as they perceive me. I do realize that I have a good job, decent pay and great benefits, but some days my heart isn’t in it and I would rather be doing just about anything else.
Blessings 🙂
Frances says
I am always in awe of how God speaks to our hearts when we need it the most! He just did that through this blog post. I don’t usually comment on blog posts, but I am compelled to share here.
Just yesterday I was at the gym. I am very physically active, and usually eat healthy. I want to say that I work out to stay healthy, and because it is a form of therapy for me. I truly enjoy it, and although these reasons are true…there is also a “hidden” struggle in me. I have had a love/hate relationship with my body ever since I can remember. It started with a harsh comment from a boy about the “cellulite” on my legs when I was in middle school…and it goes as recent as yesterday at the gym when someone told me, “you look great but…I can see where you store your “stuff” on your body”, meaning where I store fat. From that moment on, I was determined to not internalize those words and let them affect who I know I am in Christ and how He sees me. However; I was amazed how the enemy continued to repeat those words as whispers in my mind. Instead of accepting the compliment I was given, my mind and my heart could only hear the critical words (which were probably said as a good advice). The words threatened to chatter my confidence, and eventually, ever so subtly, I gave into the lie and the person I saw in the mirror at the end of the day, was not the one I saw in the morning after my quiet time with God. I did not measure up…
Thankfully, God has blessed me with a wonderful husband, who loves me and loves God. I opened up about my day and my struggle, and how I was tired of having a struggle with myself, how I was tired of having something else (like my body image) have so much power in the way I view myself and I measure my worth. It is insane!
I am committed to rediscovering the joy of working out and staying healthy because I LOVE myself, not because it defines who I am or my worth! Most importantly, I am committed to rediscovering who I am in Christ, how He sees me, how He loves me, and learning that my worth is in Him alone.
I want to let His words be the ones that repeat over and over in my mind, and to let those words be the one to take root in my heart.
Thank you for your post. God bless!
Jen Langley says
Our generation of women need to hear this message. Looking forward to sharing it with our ladies ministry at church! Blessings!
Cynthia McGarity says
Ah, yes, the mirror…my nemesis. You nailed it in this post…this is where my “approval stamp” gets lost. Wow, from my perspective, you’re not only Pre-Approved, Jennifer…you’re courageous. Thank you for the reminder that we are more than we tell ourselves. We are His princesses…royal daughters…children of the King. Can’t wait to read the book!
Lynneve Collard says
As I stood in my now empty rented house with nothing but the wafts of dust that had been previously hidden behind rarely moved furniture, I came to the realisation that this was about as low as I could go. No house, no job, no furniture, no money, no marriage and no where to go but up! It was the kick in the pants I needed to dig deeper into God… to realise that even when it didn’t appear like it, that underneath all the struggles, the lies, the mess… he was there and he was working hard in my favour, carrying me and catching every single tear that crept out of the corner of my eye. For over 20 years I had believed the lies that I was a nothing, a no-one, a blob that merely cooked and cleaned and attended to every aspect of my family except one – me. How could I love others when I didn’t love myself and who God had created me to be? Bit by bit God began to speak his truth to me and slowly my heart began to thaw. Then one Sunday while I was praising God in church, I received the best hug I have ever felt before. A hug that was so full of love and acceptance that I simply cried. When I turned around to thank the person who had given it to me… there was no one there and all I heard were these words being whispered into my heart: ‘”You. Are. Mine. And I have promised to never leave you or forsake you! I love you with a never ending love”. It has been a year and one month since I stood there in my empty house. My journey has not been easy, but I am thankful for each and every step. While I still see more flaws than perfections, more wobbly bits than toned muscle… I feel like a new person… I feel Beautiful! Praying that each and every one of you will also begin to see yourself through His eyes for YOU are Fearfully and Wonderfully made… Pre-approved by a God who when he created this world decided he needed to have you in it simply because of the difference you can to make to others, simply because he created you too and has called you his own… For where your treasure is there your heart will be also… you are HIS treasure and you are pleasing and acceptable in His sight – JUST AS YOU ARE and JUST AS HE HAS CREATED YOU TO BE! Blessings xx
jen says
I KNOW better, and I am sure there are thousands of women like me, but I just want to see myself, physically, the way God sees me. And even if we see me the same way, I want to appreciate it, as the artwork that it is, by my Creator. And that’s just ONE of the many ways that I need to just acknowledge God’s creation of my entirety. It seems so simple to speak, doesn’t it?
Liz Ford says
I want a calm and quieted soul. A soul that knows one thing well in this world gone terribly wrong with women…I want to know this: ” I am beautiful because I am His.” Those are the words He has said to me when I am fighting the lies. So I repeat them in a whisper anytime I need. And it’s often. But He is beauty Itself! And when I know Him as friend, His beauty fills and heals. When I know to Whom I belong, my confidence can rise…because His is a love that won’t ever be taken! Let the scales bounce around, the baby flap pop over my pants, and the dimples and pimples come. I know where Home is. I.Am.Beautiful. because I. Am. His. Soul breaths, because I am becoming. :).
Thank you for grappling out loud. It is hope and help to many. I blogged about this just a few days back. Because this matters. I am by no means “blog dropping”, but if you wanna hear my heart…what God is teaching this Mama… You can find me here. Momentsofmanna@ blogspot.com. Or Moments of Manna in google tool bar.
Thanks Jennifer. You are loved. ~ Liz
Carmen says
Our church has an atmosphere where everyone needs to be “ok”. Yes, there is some sharing of problems – such as when a loved one is sick or dying, but I would love to be more free to share with others.
MamaMia-H says
I would love to give my mother this book for her upcoming birthday. She’s turning 65 this April and I still (and always have) think that she is beautiful, but she has always doubted it. It seems about time that she overcomes these doubts. She has been a single mother and not dated for 15 years now. We recently encouraged her sign up for a web-based dating site, but in the task alone of creating her profile many insecurities were brought to light. She has yet to agree to any meetings.
I pray that she heals in Him, builds her confidence and finds her joy again!
THank you for this post and the printables – they are going on my mirror, not to hide my reflection but as a reminder 🙂
Debra says
I would love to win your book. I want to feel PreApproved and not feel like the mousy, fat, old, housewife, now past the age of bloom, who missed her chance to contribute anything worthwhile. I want to see me through God and not how I and the world view me.
Susie says
I just found this website. I so need all of this. I lost my 21 yr old daughter a little over 3 yrs. ago. I’m still devastated. It has greatly affected me mentally and physically. I know god loves me and I have a wonderful son to live for. I have a good life but I have had many losses over the past four yrs. I just can’t shake this feeling of gloom. Please pray for me. Thanks.
Lindsey Woolard says
Would love to win a copy of this!
Julie says
I’m praying I’ll believe I’m enough – because of Him. I love the idea that I am preapproved!
Dana N. says
I would love to read this book!
Jennifer says
I just read this post and I’m in tears. There are so many areas of my life where I need the “pre-approved” reminder: as a wife, a mother, in areas of weight and beauty… Would love to win this book. Thanks.
Christine Smith says
I would love a copy of this book. I struggle with feeling not good enough in what I do (vocational) and compare myself with others. God has been teaching me that his grace is enough and I need to be confident in HIM and knowing that I am saved (the assurance of my salvation) and instead focus more on sharing the gospel and knowing God has me exactly where he wants me. It’s been a slow uphill battle that I pray won’t be a battle anymore.
Kathy says
Your story and how you overcame the outward appearance by putting up verses to give you confidence in God’s Word, not of those in the world is touching and inspiring to me. I’m sure your words and wisdom will give the reader a grasp of how much God loves and has “pre-approved” us to become transformed into His image. I would enjoy a copy of this book to further my journey in walking with God.
Marie Krum says
I would like to have the soul security of being “pre-approved.”
Erica Golat says
The area i would love to see myself as God sees me: loved and preapproved-is my addictive personality. Specifically to substances. I do really stupid stuff under the influence and it’s been really hard to kick the bad vices.
Linda says
Don’t know how many times I’ve read the words about God loving me before I was even formed, but they never resonated with me until I made the connection to being “preapproved” and that has touched a place inside that I’ve not tapped into before. Thank you for reminding us how unique and special we each are. Would love to win a copy of the book – thanks for putting it out there.
Marie Bride says
Jennifer,
Being PreApproved is such a gift!
As this has been a particularly difficult Lenten Season I have too keep reminding myself (so I can also remember to share with others), I am and you are PreApproved.
To really Trust the Lord Jesus and believe He has control and that is how it is suppose to be.
Julie S. says
Remembering that I am pre-approved and its ok if my mom doesn’t show approval to me. God is what I need to focus on and teach my daughters that!
Nicole Van Dyke says
This was awesome and inspiring to read! I’m recovering from bulimia so I constantly have to remember that I have been preapproved by an amazing God who loves me no matter what! Thank you so much for sharing!
Louise says
Friendships and community
SimplyDarlene says
I.Can’t.
Stop.
Comparing.
Coveting.
Measuring.
He loves me. But not
those parts.
Kathy says
If only I saw myself like this…but I’m asking Christ to plant this message in my heart.
Lauren says
I’ve been reading the book. I love it and the message. It is just so hard to believe it and apply it to my life. I still find myself struggling with basing my self worth on “society’s expectations” and what society thinks I should look like, weigh, etc. I know it isn’t going to happen overnight. I know it’s a journey. I just pray that I can just see myself through Christ’s eyes, instead of jousting picking myself a part.
Lauren says
Just not jousting…sorry for the typo