“But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39
A few months ago, I became painfully aware that I was not convinced of His Great Love.
I sat among friends who all experienced this grand, surpassing peace, knowing that no matter what happened in this life, they were fully convinced of God’s love for them. And I sat bitterly alone, knowing that while I preached His love and grace exist freely for the entire world, I kept none for myself. How could I allow myself to be loved by God when I was convinced that I was unlovable? There was no lonelier feeling.
My prayer became, “Convince me, O God. Convince me of Your Great Love. I beg you. Please convince me.” I found myself unable to enjoy the affection of others, the beauty of nature, the comfort of home, all because within my heart I did not believe God loved me.
Scrolling through old photographs on one particular day, I came coincidentally upon one of my baptism. I had seen the picture many times before but was unable to tear myself away from the image. The peaceful, joyful smile on my face as I stood drenched in the Living Water captivated me. Lyrics to a song echoed through my mind: Even when the rain falls, even when the flood starts rising, even when the storm comes…I am washed by the water.
Another thought came over me. A different Voice spoke. This happened. No matter what has happened since then, or what will happen tomorrow, THIS still happened, so nothing else matters.
I was still the same girl in the photograph. Perhaps I was still capable of the same joy and peace. I knew that on the day of my baptism there was nothing I was convinced of more than God’s love for me. Maybe I could be convinced again.
I walked into the kitchen, thoughts swirling. The Voice spoke again.
It’s here.
What? What’s here? I looked around. My eyes fell upon my sweet cat lounging under the table, then on my loyal dog staring up at me, her face awash with devotion. The flowers on the table, the coffee on the counter, the food I was about to enjoy. My hands flew to my mouth and tears sprang to my eyes as I slowly explored what I was discovering.
It was everywhere.
His Great Love was everywhere. In my wedding pictures, in the sunlight streaming in through the kitchen window, in the protective walls around me, in my last name. Despite the years of self-abuse, the nights I had spent in the arms of darkness, the hatred that had spewed from my lips, His Great Love was still delivering me. Every morning that I awoke in open and spacious freedom, every afternoon that I did not go home to loneliness, every night that I lay with my husband, and every moment that my heart kept beating was evidence.
And in that moment, I was convinced.
Leave a Comment
Kathy @ In Quiet Places says
I was also in my twenties when I was convinced of God’s love for me and from that defining moment in my life I was changed forever because it is so powerful to reach that realization and witness how God reveals His love to us all around us.
I pray your words today convince others too.
Sharon says
Thank you Kathy. His love changes everything. Have a wonderful day.
Mevline says
Beautifully written. Thank you for sharing.
Sharon says
Thank you for reading! God bless you.
Renee says
Absolutely beautiful…..
Sharon says
Thank you for your kind words, Renee. 🙂
T. Scott says
Oftentimes, I too forget of the presence of the love of God. What a remarkable reminder of his presence and love. He is here, there, and everywhere! Loving us to the remembrance of his undying love.
Sharon says
It’s amazing how His presence is so easy to forget for us sometimes, but when we stop long enough to let ourselves notice it, it is totally overwhelming.
Holley Gerth says
Wow, Sharon, this post brought tears to my eyes. I’ve wrestled with this too and I love what God showed you! Thank you so much for sharing this with us!
Sharon says
Holley, it is a CONSTANT wrestling match for me. 🙂 Thank you for reading.
Sarah says
— His great love for me was everywhere– Amen. What a beautiful {and needed} reminder for me as well. Thank you!
Sharon says
I’m so glad it spoke to you. Thank you for commenting. Have a wonderful weekend!
Katie Pilcher says
This brought tears to my eyes as well. Beautiful, Sharon!
Sharon says
Thanks, Katie 🙂 Love you!
Deborah says
tears ran down my face as I read this. may He richly bless you with understanding and peace all the days of your loved life. –dd
Sharon says
Your blessings and kind words mean more than you know. Thank you.
Susan says
Beautiful ….. Thank you for this reminder.
Sharon says
YOU’RE beautiful and special and worthy and so loved.
Lisa says
He does love you Sharon. I love you too my friend!
Sharon says
I love YOU! 🙂
anne Bobe says
I was in a post abortive class & as I sat by this old antique window, it started raining like in sheets against the old wavy glass & the thunder was Reverent, a friend of mine next to me agreed that dancing in this outside would be awesome, but we just soak the MOMeant in & knew forgiveness had came & He lavished us with a love line you rxperienced, so proud for you Godchick …blesSINGS
Sharon says
This beautiful….reminds me of the verses where He promises that our sins are on the ocean floor, and removed from us as far as the east is from the west.
Sharon says
This is beautiful*
cheryl says
Truly enlightening and deeply profound…..what a beautiful revelation you experienced..may all God’s children be washed in his reign……(rain)…..amen!
Sharon says
You reminded me of one of my favorite songs by the Gaither Vocal Band. I can’t recall the name of it right now but some of the lyrics are:
And when my soul is dry and barren
Panting for the Spirit’s rain
So depleted, weak and empty
Every resource used and drained
Then the rains come, oh the rains come
Gentle streams flow down the mountainside
Filling rivers, rushing water
To the valleys, bringing wondrous life
Rachel Akers says
Our whole existence is a reflection of God’s incomparable love. I love how He just used your obviously-receptive heart to convey that beautiful message to all of us! So thankful you shared what God shared with you.
Sharon says
I’m thankful it touched your heart. Have a great day. 🙂
Carol Mccarthy says
Thank you for reminding me of this! Wonderful message 🙂
Beth Williams says
Sharon,
So beautifully poetic! It is awesome how God will show us His love for us even when we don’t feel loved at all.
While I’ve always been a Christian it wasn’t until late 30s early 40s that I truly got it. I was re baptized. Now in my late 40s I have days when stuff spews out and I’m not the kind of person I should be. I pray long & hard, read my Bible daily and look around to see the wonder of His love for me. Sometime I even question why He loves me so. Yet I see evidence of it daily!
Thanks for sharing! 🙂