I was out front, watering the garden that runs along the white picket fence, when I heard my son Noah yell. “Quick, Mommy! Quick! Come here! Hurry!”
His voice was urgent, pressing, so much so that I stopped what I was doing and quickly walked over to where he was crouched at the curb. I bent down next to him, concerned that something was the matter, but he just pointed into the air.
Floating on a gentle current along the tops of the phlox was a curious bug, a miniscule creature about a quarter the size of my pinkie nail. It looked to me like a thin shred of paper, the handmade kind – bumpy, lumpy, pasty paper with bits of flower petals and leaves rolled into it.
The creature bobbed along the bee balm for a bit and then floated over to my two sons, navigating its linty body between them, as if to take a closer look at their big bobble heads. Rowan named the bug Klee Klee because it looked like the teeniest shred of Kleenex.
We sat on the curb next to the flower garden and marveled at the insect as it gracefully inched over the mountainous folds of Rowan’s T-shirt, its snow-white wings wispy and ragged.
I would never have noticed this delicate creature on my own, so bent was I on watering the drooping coneflower and deadheading the bee balm, wrenching the ivy’s suffocating grip off the phlox and pulling the weeds.
But Noah had insisted I look, squealing and bellowing so persistently I was forced to tune in, if only to quite the racket.
And when I did, I was overwhelmed with gratitude and awe.
I’ve spent a lot of my life looking for the big, flashy miracle – the billboard moment when everything is crystal clear and all doubts are washed away for good, the media-worthy miracle that makes the evening news.
After the Klee Klee moment, though, I began to wonder: What if?
What if these were the blessings, the miracles – these ordinary happenings in ordinary life?
Maybe, I mused, the blessings have been right here all along, right under my nose. Maybe God doesn’t always swoop in with the mighty and dramatic moments – the lightning and the earthquakes and the winds – but instead floats in gently, softly, almost imperceptively, on the wings of a Klee Klee.
It’s not always easy for me to see something as a blessing, rather than a coincidence. After twenty years of unbelief, doubt is a hard habit to break. Honestly, doubt is still sometimes my natural, instinctive reaction, my default.
Choosing the blessing, the miracle, over coincidence, has had to become a conscious choice for me. Again and again I dismiss doubt as the crutch that it is and embrace what for me, on some days, is a more challenging choice.
I embrace the miracle.
And the truth is, when I question my doubts as much as I question my faltering, toddler-step, wavering faith, I see miracles everywhere.
Even in an insect, floating on an air current through my own front yard.
This post is an edited excerpt from Michelle DeRusha’s recently published book, Spiritual Misfit: A Memoir of Uneasy Faith, which chronicles her journey from unbelief to faith. To read more about Spiritual Misfit or to purchase a copy, CLICK HERE. And don’t miss your chance to win one of five copies being given away on Monday’s post!
A native New Englander, Michelle DeRusha now lives in Nebraska, where she discovered the great plains, grasshoppers the size of Cornish Hens and God. She’s married to Brad, a man who reads Moby Dick for fun, and mom to contemplative Noah and rambunctious Rowan. In addition to Spiritual Misfit, Michelle is also the author of 50 Women Every Christian Should Know: Learning from Heroines of the Faith (releasing September 16, 2014, from Baker Books). She writes a monthly column for the Lincoln Journal Star and is a frequent contributor to The High Calling. You can connect with Michelle on Facebook, Twitter and on her blog, http://michellederusha.com.
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Jan Armbrust says
Reading about the ordinary moments being, when seen through a certain lens, as momentous moments, such as the Klee bug, touched something deep in me. That lens that allows that moment of wonder or gentleness seems to me to be what i understand/experience by the word, grace. Thanks so much for sharing this.
Michelle DeRusha says
Thanks for coming by and reading, Jan – I so appreciate your comment.
Jamie Rohrbaugh says
Beautiful, Michelle. I agree… I find it’s so much easier to keep a good attitude (or get rid of my bad attitude, on bad days 😉 ) if I just start thanking God for those little things that should mean so much… and often don’t. 🙁 Oh me of little gratefulness. Thanks for challenging us today!
Michelle DeRusha says
Keeping a daily gratitude journal has changed my perspective immensely. I know exactly what you mean, though, Jamie – it IS hard, especially when you tend toward the glass-half-empty like I do! 🙂
Angela Bell says
Wonderful post! I’ve been thinking along similar lines recently as I go into my third year of treatment/physical therapy for a rib injury. I wanted the Media-Worthy Miracle of healing. I wanted God to snap His fingers and make the injury, the pain, go away. Instead, He’s taking me through a process of healing filled with small yet amazing Klee Klee moments. Like the first time I could wash my own hair unaided or the first time I could drive solo again. The first time I could pull a shirt up over my head without grimacing in pain. None of those moments were dramatic, but they were still blessings. Still miraculous. Even when I didn’t recognize them as such. Thanks for this reminder to once again train my eyes on the small and embrace life’s miracles. 🙂
Michelle DeRusha says
Amen and thank God for those small victories, Angela. I am praying for continued steady healing for you today, friend.
Judy Lynn says
Thank you for this ‘gift’ on the morning of my 77th birthday! I opened DaySpring to see a card sent by a friend and read your blog for the 1st time. It goes so well with Sarah Young’s devotional for today in her JESUS CALLING book about being awed by God’s creation in nature’s beauty.
Enjoy your little boys! They’ll be grown before you know it.
Michelle DeRusha says
Happy Birthday, July Lynn! I, too, read Sarah Young’s devotion in Jesus Calling this morning and was totally relating to her point about seeing and appreciating God in His creation. We were literally on the same page this morning, friend! 🙂
Missy says
Michelle, your toddler-stepping faith brings others of us along with you on your wide-eyed discoveries. Miracles are a welcome interruption to my own days, and especially when they turn out to be teeny tiny “klee klee” like miracles, completely unexpected. Oh, how I am loving every page of your book; and I am two chapters from the end. You write words that resonate with my heart. Thank you!!
Michelle DeRusha says
And thank YOU, so much, Missy, for your encouragement and for reading the book – I really, really appreciate that!
Christy says
I absolutely loved your book, “Spiritual Misfit”. It spoke to my heart and I felt that you had told my story too. Thank you for your sharing.
Michelle DeRusha says
Oh wow, thank you so much for this, Christy – you cannot know how much this means to me.
Bonnie says
This is beautiful. I have recently slowed down and found such beauty in the tinyest most ordinary things that I never fully appreciated before. It is amazing.
Michelle DeRusha says
Isn’t it incredible what slowing down reveals, Bonnie? So, so many gifts.
Kris camealy says
Ordinary moments are where I’m finding God more often these days. It is amazing how if we are just willing to pay attention, he is always showing us something. You know I love you, Michele–and Spiritual Misfit!! Loved this post.
Michelle DeRusha says
Hugs, hugs, hugs, Kris. You are such an incredible encourager.
Renee says
Wonderful reminder to count it ALL joy…even the tiniest of creation. Like the way you identify doubt as your default. That would be fear for me and it takes time and deliberate effort to brings shift to it. Only God. Lovely post!
Michelle DeRusha says
Oh yes, friend, I know fear, too – it lurks right behind doubt. Praying for you as you step forward in courage and faith, dear friend.
Diana Trautwein says
LOVED reading this again, Michelle. So glad your fine book is getting this great exposure here!
Michelle DeRusha says
I am so grateful to be here, Diana – and so grateful for you continuing kind words and encouragement, too. What a good friend you are, sister. Thank you.
Beth Williams says
Sometimes I want a “media-worthy” answer to my question or supposed problem. Instead God gives us small everyday miracles, if we would just stop look and listen. We need to take stock of what we have and not worry about what we don’t have,
Enjoy a sunrise or sunset, take a walk in the park, feel a cool breeze. We have so much to be thankful for daily if we would open our eyes, and ears to see and hear them.
Blessings 🙂