“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
It had been almost a year since we had last connected. 30+ years of friendship, miles apart, lifetimes of changes and yet we began as though we had never pushed pause.
This is friendship.
I have known her since sleepovers.
I have known her since barbie dolls.
I have known her since awkward everything.
I have known her through boyfriends, battles, hopes, dreams, heartbreak and all the in-between.
Our lives have gone in different directions, even different continents and yet with all of the changes, years and differences, we still manage to come back to a place of being completely and utterly real, comfortable and at home with one another.
In the busyness that is mom-world I forget about me a lot.
I forget that I need to laugh.
I forget that I need to be listened to.
I forget that I need to be silly and childish, too.
I forget that I need to be understood.
My friend brought me back to me the other day.
She brought me back to the core of who I am. She brought me back to the place in me that is completely vulnerable and at ease with who I am, the good and the not-there-yet. She brought me back to that place of just being a girl who needs a friend.
In our two hour conversation she brought me back to those places through laughter and tears and understanding – but what she didn’t realize is that she helped me be more open to allowing others in, too.
She reminded me how good it is to have friendship and to let it have you.
God has given me great friendships but I have always held parts of me back. I don’t mean to hold back but I do it anyway. Maybe it’s fear of being misunderstood or rejected or just overall insecurity. I’m realizing it doesn’t mean others can’t be allowed in; I need my friends.
I need friends who I can be me with.
I need friends who I can be honest, fun, crazy, scared, open and messy with.
I need to be allowed to be both broken and together.
I need my friends. God has given them to me as gifts and I need to hold on to them the way I allow them to hold on to me.
My friend took me back. She took me back to when friendship was a basic need of life at the age of 6, 16 and now. She reminded me that the Lord has provided friendships for me at every stage and every age.
He provided friends to jump rope with in childhood, to stumble through the tumultuous teen years, to wander with through college years, to share the starry eyed young married years, to walk through years of restoration, to understand the infertility years, to fumble through the motherhood years.
There has always been someone.
Friendship is precious. God brings someone for every season, for different parts of our story and different parts of who we are. Each friend is so very instrumental in how God reveals Himself to us. I cherish the friends God has given me from both yesterday and today. I long to be more open to letting friendship have more of me.
Don’t just have friendships, let friendships have you too.
Yes, yes, yes!!!
Beautiful and much needed. Thank you!
Lovely, nice reminder that I need to make more time for friendships. It’s important…
Love this!
I moved ti a different area almost a year ago. I am 49ish and have found it extremely difficult to make hes friends! I need prayers fir the Lord ti steer me in the right direction. I still feel like a visitor at church! I need to find some “girl” friends to do life with, people willing ti open their group ti a new person! Any ideas?
Does your church have small groups, or a women’s ministry? A lot of times joining a life study is the best way to meet and make friends! Praying for you Ellie that the Lord brings someone for you to do life with 🙂
Ellie,
Try joining a women’s Bible study at your church. You will get to know some of the women there really well and they can encourage you! You might, if you are single, join a single women’s group and just do things with them. When I moved to a new city years ago one church I attended had such a group. I did some things with them and had fun.
Prayers that God will bring someone your way and you can have a good Christian friend to share with!
Blessings 🙂
I read a verse this week in 1 Chronicles 27 … in the middle of listing all of King David’s commanders and counselors, it included his friend! I loved how God made sure to mention a friend. So important!
Yes!
Thank you!! Friendship is a wonderful thing that brings healing, encouragement, let you know that you are not alone. As I read this I was reminded of the different seasons in my life and different faces come to mind that were there to help through. Some are still near and others have gone far, but my heart will forever be grateful to God for each one of them.
*Ellie: Join a community group that interest you such as gardening, arts, or theatre. Go to places where you would meet like-minded people such as a museum, opera, fishing, or sports event. I don’t know what to say about still feeling like an outsider at church except maybe you could volunteer in something that you’re good at or gifted to do such as choir, the welcoming committee, or kitchen crew. These are just some ideas that have worked for me in the past; and, because I’ll be walking this path with you in a few short weeks I’m planning for them to work again soon in the very near future.
Amen. Thankful for those lifelong connections and the new ones too!
Gina,
I am blessed to have a good friend. We met about 11 or so years ago when I went to church with my hubby–it is his ex-mother-in-law. We are such good friends that we can talk about anything. We have been through both our mothers dyeing, father’s not doing well, etc.
I have some other good friends at church also. We go through stuff and pray for each other. I am blessed to have such wonderful friends in my life!
Blessings 🙂
This is beautiful. God has also provided a friend for me at every stage of life…every age, every move, every church, every season. So very thankful. Thanks for bringing ME back. 🙂
God has blessed me with some sweet true friendships. One of my friends has been in my life for over 30 years (I’m 40). And what makes that relationship even sweeter is her love of the Lord. I pray that all the readers have an opportunity to unity in vibrant loving friendships.