Today we’re featuring a new book by our very own Holley Gerth, encourager extraordinaire! Her new book, You’re Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart from the Need to Be Perfect is a beautiful reminder that we don’t have to get our act together, and we’re not supposed to be perfect. She challenges us to think about how life would be different if we truly believed we’re loved, just the way we are. We know you’ll be encouraged by her words today!
[linebreak]
The Friend Our Hearts Need Most
I have called you friends.
– Jesus {John 15:15}
Of all the ways God addresses us, “friends” seems the most scandalous to me. Because we choose our friends. We spend time with them because we want to. We willingly open our hearts and lives to them. And yet it’s in that place of friendship where many of us need the most healing. When God says He’s our “friend,” it can feel unsafe because some friends haven’t treated us well. What does it really mean to have a friend?
A Loving Friend Chooses You
We are born into families, but we pick our friendships. When God says you’re his friend, He’s saying He wants you. For many years I thought what God felt toward me was obligation. He had to love me. He had to put up with me. But when He calls us “friends,” it changes everything.
A Loving Friend Enjoys You
We spend time with friends for many different reasons, but one clearly is this: we like to be together. Studies have shown that being with friends is one of life’s most enjoyable activities. We love our friends, but we also really like them too. When God says you’re His friend, it means He likes you too. He enjoys you. He wants to be with you. “The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love” {Psalm 147:11}.
A Loving Friend Doesn’t Speak Negatively about You
Most of the wounds in friendships come from words. Someone makes a critical remark about us, we overhear a bit of gossip, or we feel judged rather than accepted when we need it most. We can picture God the same way. We imagine Him in heaven listing off our faults or the ways we could do better. But it’s the devil who is the accuser of the brethren {see Revelation 12:10}. That negative, critical, condemning voice in your mind, heart, or life is not God.
1 Corinthians 4:5 says, “He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart. At that time each will receive their praise from God.” Did you catch that? We will receive praise from God. Not criticism. Not accusation. Not condemnation. Because of Jesus, we will receive praise. God will talk to us like a friend.
A Loving Friend Is Your Advocate and Encourager
Not only does Jesus not speak negatively about you, He is actually your advocate. He defends you when the enemy tries to speak against you. “If anybody does sin, we have an advocate with the Father — Jesus Christ, the Righteous One” {1 John 2:1}. The enemy is the accuser; Jesus is the advocate. And the Holy Spirit speaks encouragement into our lives, reminding us of who we truly are and what we’re called to do.
One reason we strive so hard to be perfect is to silence that critical voice in our minds. So let’s pause right now and agree on this together: That critical voice is not God. Friends love each other with their words.
A Loving Friend Helps You Become All You’re Created to Be
The true test of friendship is this: Does this person want me to be who I am or turn me into someone else? God created you for a purpose. He knit you together in your mother’s womb. He gave you strengths, skills, and a unique design. He doesn’t want you to change who you are; He wants you to become more of who you are. Beware of anyone who says, “To please God, you must be like me (or us).”
No, Jesus has already made you pleasing to God through His death on the cross and His resurrection. Now He wants you to be you. And God loves variety. Think about your friends and how there’s something different you love about each one of them. Would you want them all to be the same? Nope. And God feels the same way about His friends too.
Here’s the wonderful, scandalous news our hearts need to know: We are friends of God and He not only loves us — He really likes us too.
Holley Gerth
[linebreak]
For more encouragement from Holley Gerth, purchase a copy of her new book You’re Loved No Matter What: Freeing Your Heart From the Need to Be Perfect at dayspring.com.
Leave a Comment
Lin says
Thank you for these wonderful words. God is growing me from a life of being criticized to one who has with loving friends. You have brought more understanding to my heart. Thank You.
Gina Elder says
I, too, came from a critical home. God is helping me learn what it means to be a true friend and that we, indeed, have a friend in Jesus.
Brenda says
I’m, coincidentally, in the middle of reading this book right now. 🙂
One of the quotes that I underlined, and then wrote on a note card and put on my desk was from page 58: “Stop Apologizing for Who You Are. Stop trying to downplay your gifts. Stop trying to minimize your successes. Stop trying to skim over your strengths with, “Oh, that was nothing.” It was not nothing. It was the spark of God within you. It was who he created you to be, shining bright. It was what he called you to, coming forth into the world. Don’t listen to the whiners, the discouragers, the critics, the good-in-your-life-makes-me-feel-bad crowd. You have nothing to be sorry for, sister. Those things aren’t a reason for an apology–they’re reasons for gratitude, celebration, and praise. Hold your head high. Keep that joy in your heart. Let your light shine. It’s the proper response to what God has done (and is doing) through you. And if anyone tells you to tone it down–they can take it up with him.”
🙂 Lovely book ~
Joanne Peterson says
WOW! Just this quote is a cause for celebration. And it’s okay to recognize my strengths and let them develop, and recognizing them doesn’t mean I have a swelled head, and it’s not pride.
Thank you for sharing the quote! It made my day!
Joanne
Tracey C. says
I was blessed by seeing Holley at a retreat this past weekend and delighted to have received a copy of this book. I have started it and LOVE this wisdom that she shares!
Janet from FL says
I have had problems thinking of Jesus as my friend, because He is my Lord! So your post on why He really is our friend is mind changing. Thanks, Holley! I will have to get your book. I’m sharing this post, too.
Gina Elder says
I really needed to read this today. Thank you! I’m always on the lookout for good book recommendations. I’m definitely going to add this one. 😀
Victoria W. says
Thank you so much for sharing this. I really needed it. Now I want to go out and get your book. 🙂 It looks like an amazing book. <3
Jen says
Thanks so much Brenda for you comments yesterday….it truly helped me in a difficult situation-just what God wanted my heart to hear so….thankyou so much for sharing!!
Love Holley’s books!! ♡
Jessica Lynn says
Reading through this book already. Enjoying it and rejoicing in the great truths Holley shares with us all.
Beth Williams says
Holley,
Life has many stages and some are easy while others are just plain hard! I’m in a hard season now! Your words help me get through the day!!! Even though I know this and have been a Christian most of my life–it is refreshing to see it again and make it resonate in my heart!
Thanks so much!
Blessings 🙂