I am, by nature, a task-oriented person. I feel such a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction from making a list and marking things off. I’m sure this sounds a bit silly, but I’ve been known to write things on my list I’ve already done just so I can mark them off — don’t judge me.

Sometimes this intense focus and goal mindedness can be an excellent thing. I’ve been blessed with the spiritual gift of “Gettin’ Stuff Done”; however, at times the “blinders on, death stare toward the finish line” mentality can get in the way of my friendships. I often fail to stop and just be with people around me. I fail to grasp the possible blessings I could receive, or the blessings God could want me to share with others, if I would take a moment to be present in the conversation.

In the past few months, I’ve been striving to pay more attention to people and less to tasks. It has been a struggle for me. Every day I must consciously choose people over projects. Sometimes I fail, but I’m working on it.

In Proverbs 27:17, we are reminded, “as iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (NIV). If we want to grow — ourselves, our relationships with others, and our relationship with God — we need people. And like any good thing — even a good task — if we don’t invest time, energy, and effort into our friendships, they will be substandard and superficial.

So here are 5 things I’ve been doing to put people first. They’re my “5 Tips for Putting Togetherness Over the To-Do List.”

1. Listen first. This one is especially hard for me. Listening slows me down! But, when we put others’ needs ahead of our own, we build friendships.

2. Eat together. You need to eat. So if you’re going to take 20 minutes to eat, then why not spend that time with a friend and get to know her better or catch up on her life (remember to listen first). Jesus often ate with people as a way to get to know them and have communion with them. Sounds like a good idea to me!

3. Play together. Remember how awesome recess was in school? I made some of my best friends at recess. Playing looks different for each of us, but it’s important. Maybe for you, it’s a running group, a book club, a Bible study, a sewing class, or an exercise class. Whatever it is you like to do, do it with other people. Friendships are built around fun.

4. Pray together. Okay, so maybe you won’t feel comfortable sitting together with your friend in a prayer circle (Maybe you do. If so, go for it!), but you can always ask your friend if there is something specific she needs you to lift up to God. But here’s the key: actually pray about it! And then follow up with her and ask her how things are going.

5. Share, too. If you want to really get to know people, you have to be willing to put yourself out there a little, too. Be willing to share some things about yourself . . . maybe your own struggles, similar battles you’ve faced, and how you were encouraged and made it past your challenges.

Allow the iron that someone else brings to the relationship to sharpen your iron, and be willing to be there to sharpen someone else. Because we were created for relationships. God did not intend for us to live life alone.

“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up.” {1 Thessalonians 5:11}

Encourage others. Be encouraged. And put togetherness over the to-do list.

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Related: Express your friendship through matching friendship bracelets. Gift this bracelet to a friend and one to yourself and enjoy the blessing of connecting, even when not together: Village Artisan Bracelet Set!

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