I sit in the small circle designated for “newer widows.” It’s a local monthly support group where we put on brave smiles while our hands fidget nervously in our laps.
Our leader comments how her late husband’s cousin traveled several states to watch her daughter walk across the stage at college graduation. They didn’t even have a close relationship, but the cousin wanted this widow to know that his family recognized the accomplishment. This cousin traveled for hours so she could speak encouragement into this family.
I blurt out, “I want to be that person!”
I mean it. I want to be the person who encourages, the person who goes out of her way to be a blessing, the one who chooses to be acutely aware of the needs of others.
I’ve walked a tough path these past three and a half years. My eyes have witnessed levels of suffering I didn’t even know existed before as I walked alongside my husband during his head and neck cancer battle and subsequent death.
As I reflect back, I am reminded of kind words spoken to me and how God used them as balm to my aching soul.
A nurse once said, “You take such good care of him.” It must have been our eleventh day for that hospital stay. In his two year battle, I hardly ever left his side. I was weary and on an epic emotional roller coaster, desperately clinging to God for strength, yet someone paused to share a kind word. It was like a cool breeze blowing over my fevered insides.
On one of those first few Sundays — attending church without my husband — a church member passed me in the parking lot and said, “You look pretty this morning.” It was such a simple comment as he continued on his route. He had no way of knowing I had stood staring in my closet mirror that very morning hit with the reality that there was no one to compliment me anymore. I’ll admit, it was a bit of a shallow, pity party moment, but let’s face it, girls of all ages like to hear they look pretty, and my husband said it to me often.
These were kind words I needed to hear.
During a one-on-one meeting regarding one of my children, a school administrator said, “You are doing a great job, Mom.” This, on the very morning I had spilled tears before God expressing to Him that this solo parenting coupled with grief guidance is too hard, that all too often I worry I’m not getting it right. But the encouragement given through one simple sentence felt like a lifeline for me to grab hold of and keep placing one foot in front of the other in my parenting responsibilities.
Our words are powerful. Even the simplest sentences that seem to be innocent and carefree can carry a pleasant aroma into an aching soul.
I am forever grateful for those who have spoken grace and encouragement into me. My mind is flooded with examples as I am sure you can reflect on encounters from your own life where a kind word ministered more deeply than the speaker could have ever imagined. Kindness reaches the depth of our sorrow, our insecurity, our frustration or our pain in a simple spoken word.
As a solo parent, I may not have the ability to drop everything and travel across the country to personally speak kindness into another, but I certainly have the opportunity every day to let kindness drip from my tongue to those around me.
I want to be the person who is sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s prompting when He moves me to speak kindness into the life another.
I want my powerful words to be used to reflect His love.
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Related: Strengthen a friend with truthful words on a fun pouch, and remind her that you’re in this together, always.
Leave a Comment
Lois Flowers says
Lori, it’s too early in the morning to be crying at the laptop, but here I am, wiping away tears as I read your words. I’m so sorry for your loss, and also so thankful that you have been on the receiving end of such life-giving words. You say you want to be the person that speaks encouragement into other people’s lives? Well, I think you already are that person! And I pray that kind words will continue to meet you right when and where you need them.
Lori Reynolds Streller says
Lois,
Thank you for YOUR kind words this morning. What a beautiful prayer over me, I pray the same for you this morning.
Lori Reynolds Streller
Sarah S says
Thanks for sharing your story and desire to be one who encourages. I’ve been practicing kindness for years now, and it doesn’t always come with the knowledge of how it really affects people. But, earlier this week I listened to my heart and stopped by my neighbors to invite her along with me for the day. Come to find out it was the day before her husband’s birthday who passed away last year. I listened to her share and gave her a hug. Although she declined the invitation, if I had ignored the nudge (and I almost talked myself out of it) I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to be there for her that day or the next.
Lori Reynolds Streller says
Yes Sarah! As one who has benefited from the encouraging words of another, I say “Thank you for being sensitive to the Spirit’s whisper in your heart.” I have absolutely no doubt that you blessed your friend deeper than you can even imagine. I love that you have “been practicing kindness for years” and hope to have this same testimony in my life in the years to come. Thanks fro stopping by and commenting today. ~Lori
Liz Cordova says
I write this with refreshing tears but with such a heavy heart-just when my wounds are scarring over and I think I can laugh more, a dear bud spoke a demeaning joke over me. I got sick from a severe antibiotic reaction that left me burned all over including my tear glands. Tears are needed for visual function. I write this with difficulty instilling artificial tears every few seconds to see and read and function.
Just because I’m not productive in the workforce now doesn’t define me. I am smart and hospitable and Gid gave me talents I still use towards friends who come visit. But he joked losely and I was hurt.
Just when I was starting to trust again and feel confident. So now he stonewalls me despite me forgiving him and the first to reach out.
I needed to hear your words to heal again after last night’s disrespectful words from my own son too.
Lift me in prayers. Liz
Lori Reynolds Streller says
Father God, We thank You that You are constant in our lives, thank You that we can bring our hurts, our frustrations, and our fears and lay them at your feet. Lord, I first ask for restoration of health and total healing for Liz. I also ask You to please heal these relationships in Liz’s life. Thank You that You say who we are, and in You, we find our confidence. Amen.
Liz, stay strong by leaning heavily into Jesus as He carries you through this season. Hugs! ~Lori
Liz Cordova says
Thank you Lori. I so needed a friend to
lift me up and pray with me. I’ve been hurting
a very long time.
From my childhood- my dad never affirmed me
nor lived me for who I am. I took home
A’s but nit good enough for him. I had full
ride in college and made a good life
for me one own. I leaned on Jesus
all along. I passed State Boards
when I came to Chicago alone.
But God put me in touch with our
former pastors. So I had more friends.
Dad died in May this year. But before he did
that dear classmate would pick me up
once a week after his clinic so J can
visit with Dad. I brought him home cooked
meals in the nursing home. Even though
It was so hard to cook exposing museums to heat
when it’s already severely dry.
I was never told I’m beautiful nor smart
or strong nor kind nor generous.
My self esteem rose when God made me
best old classmates who helped me
and valued me and sang my virtues played
down my faults. Is it because I’m gentle
I get trodden around?
When I was well I volunteered at church
as a deaconess and more.
I know he cares about me and our friendship
Took 40 years before we met again
But he hit a nerve and I hurt so bad
Then my son disrespected me after all
what I’ve done for him supporting him through
college. I sold all my jewelries
even wedding bands ( husband died in 2003)
to help him get through. Borrowed against
equity to see him through school.
I cannot open to friends, trying to protect
people I love. Thank you Lori for praying
with me.
Beth Williams says
Liz,
So so sorry for all the hurt you’ve been through! I pray for good friends to come and whisper kind words to your weary soul! You are beautiful, loved, and smart! God loves you and so do I sweet sister in Christ!!
Beth Williams says
Father,
Thank you that you hear our prayers. Please help Liz heal from words spoken without thought. Asking for complete healing of her heart and eyes. She is a child of God and deserves to be loved! Please bring restoration to these relationships and forgiveness from everyone. Shower her with grace and mercy! Bring people her way that will speak truth, love and kind words to her!
AMEN (((((Hugs)))))
Anna says
Dear Lori, such beautiful, blessed words. I’m so very sorry for the loss of your husband. Know that your words have been like honey for me today.
I linked through to your blog and read several posts that all spoke such powerful truth into my own heart. I also sent one to my Dad, who lost his wife and our dear Mum to brain cancer a little over a year ago, to encourage him. Your post about your faith was especially encouraging to me. I am just coming out of a season of doubt, having decided to cling to Scriptural promises of His goodness in the midst of trials and your Scripture saturated truths have felt like a warm blanket today. May God continue to bless and hold you in the midst of your hard, a hard I can’t even begin to wrap my head or heart around.
Anna says
And thought I’d share this Scripture with you that’s been blessing me:
Isaiah 58: 11-12
I will always show you where to go. I’ll give you a full life in the emptiest of places – firm muscles, strong bones. You’ll be a well-watered garden, a gurgling spring that never runs dry. You’ll use the old rubble of past lives to build anew, rebuild the foundations from out of your past.
Lori Reynolds Streller says
Anna,
Thank you for your condolences. I am sorry for the loss of your mother. I HATE cancer, but I love our God more. He is faithful and He is good. His promises are true. May the God of all comfort comfort you as He draws you ever closer to His side. Snuggle up under the blanket covering of His wings and find rest there.
Blessings to you.
~Lori
Doris Swift says
Lori, your post touched my heart in a deep place this morning. I’m sorry for your loss, and praise God, He has moved you to share your deep places with us. You encouraged many this morning, and your powerful words are truly reflecting His love. May the Lord continue to abundantly bless you and your family. Seasoning my words with salt today, thanks for the reminder sweet friend in Christ.
Lori Reynolds Streller says
Doris, thank you for stopping by and taking the time to leave a comment of encouragement for me. 🙂 I pray for only gracious speech to flow from me. Some days I am more successful than others and daily I seek forgiveness for a careless tongue. I pray God transforms me into a woman who speaks truth and life into the aching hearts of others. There are so many wounded people we cross paths with in this life. Wounded and scarred beyond what our vision allows us to know; happy outward faces with inward turmoil. May we both season our words with salt and shine Christ’s love more brightly into the cracks and crevices of the secretly hurting. ~Lori
Amy Hannaford says
Beautiful words indeed! We all need to hear a kind word and it’s equally important for us to share a kind word with those around us on a daily basis. Thank you for the reminder!
Lori Reynolds Streller says
Thank you and you are welcome, Amy. It’s a beautiful thing when we are sensitive to God’s Spirit within us and choose to use our words to build each other up by scattering kindness. ~Lori
Rebecca Jones says
I agree with Lois that you are already encouraging people with your story, and I too, am sorry for your loss. Kind words are a balm. We should all be more thoughtful. God’s Word will not return to Him void, Isaiah 55:11, so sharing verses and even the smallest expressions of consideration will not go unnoticed.
Lori Reynolds Streller says
Love this Scripture reminder, Rebecca. Thanks for sharing! ~Lori
Hannah Smith Hall says
This is lovely and powerful, Lori. Thank you for allowing God to use your trials to encourage us to be better. I want to be that woman too! Prayers for you and your family.
Lori Reynolds Streller says
Hannah, my children and I cherish and appreciate your prayers. God is faithful, He is in the business of making beauty from ashes and I trust Him to make something beautiful out of our lives. Blessings to you. ~Lori
Janis Van Keuren says
This was beautiful, Lori. What a great reminder to touch another’s life with kind words. It just might be the healing balm they need for that moment.
May God continue to strengthen you, comfort you, and assure you that you are handling your role with His love and grace.
Blessings, Janis
Lori Reynolds Streller says
Aw, Janis…your prayer brought sweet and thankful tears to my eyes. Thank you for taking time to post a comment.
~Lori
Janis Van Keuren says
You have blessed me. You are welcome.
Kristin Hanley says
Lori, my spirit aches for you and the pain you are trudging through right now. My dad died two years ago, and since then, I’ve often thought, “My mom doesn’t have someone to tell her how pretty she is or hold her hand or offer up little tokens of grace.” I appreciate this post because we all need to be reminded that our words are gifts we offer to one another. And the resource of words is endless! Blessings and life over you, dear sister.
Lori Reynolds Streller says
Kristin, you are so correct in your thinking! I am sorry for your loss of your dad. Most people don’t think of those little things that widows lose when they lose half of themselves in the death of their husband. Good for you! Tell her, hold her hand, hug her and offer her the tokens of grace that will feed her soul. ~Lori
Marty says
Beautiful words. Keep sharing your heart. 🙂
Beth Williams says
Lori,
Sorry you lost your sweet hubby so soon in life!!! May God continue to bless you and your family! I pray for peace and contentment for your heart and soul!
Thank you for opening up and sharing your sweet heart with us! I find myself an encourager by nature! I know how kind words can lift a person’s spirit up! I always try my best to listen to the Holy Spirit and encourage people!! This world needs more people to speak love and beauty into it! I find myself sending cards, e-cards, e-mails, etc. telling people what they mean to me. At church I smile and say hi to everyone trying to brighten their day even if they don’t feel good!
Blessings:)