I have finally figured out this stage of my life.

I am in the middle.

Being in the middle is a little confusing. I now have some significant days behind me. I’m not “just starting out” anymore. In pretty much all areas of my life — as a parent, spouse, leader, professional — I have “experience.” That’s a good thing. I know I am not the person I was in my 20s. I’ve progressed and matured and learned since my 30s. I’m stronger and more confidant and much more settled in who I am at this stage of my life. I still lose my keys, get into wrong cars, trip on curbs, and have frizzy hair, but overall I’m getting along fine.

But here’s the thing . . .

The middle doesn’t mean that you are finished.
The middle is just the beginning.
The middle is where your biggest dreams can come to life.
The middle means you have great days ahead, and those days can be the best.
I’ll be honest. I’m a little lost sometimes in this middle land.

I have people in my life that I invest in, mentor, and try (somehow, with grace) to influence and encourage. I wish I had more available hours to do this with more people. I value those relationships. But deep down in my heart I long to be a recipient of investment. The middle people sometimes look like they have it all together. We don’t. We are often longing for someone to come and walk alongside us in this stage. We still need to do life together. We still need someone to believe in us, someone to cheer us on, and someone to guide us through what happens in middle land.

In my middle, I need people more than ever.

In my middle, life is full of a lot of things that I am trying to navigate.

Maybe all middle women have awesome mentors. Maybe they all get calls from someone who sees that spark, who calls out that potential in them. Maybe all women but me have that, and I really need to join some sort of support group. Maybe my introverted nature has just taken control of my life and I really need to get out there.

I have some great imaginary relationships. I call them my “one-sided virtual mentors.” They are amazing people. They write words I soak up; they post blogs that give me chills. I buy their books; I follow their instagram like we are BFFs. And honestly, some of these relationships have impacted my life greatly. But they never talk back. I’m not really chatty so that is ok most of the time, but I’d love to hear a voice sometime. Of a person with skin.

I know this sounds needy. (I prefer the word “transparent.’) Just to be clear, I do have great friends and a social life. I’m not living alone in the woods. Please don’t sign me up on a find-a-companion website. But, as a person who thinks about, speaks about, and writes about mentoring and investment I’ve realized that I don’t know where I fit anymore. I know I am lacking in that area of my life.

I long for a voice.
I want to be better.
I value life being done together.

Maybe you’re supposed to be self-sufficient in the middle? Maybe you are supposed to be able to figure it out?

I don’t really think that is the way it should be.
I believe that life is meant to be shared as family.
I believe that everyone has something to offer someone else.
Every generation can speak into another.
Every person can offer something to another person.
We are never done learning and growing.
I have Netflix and Wi-Fi, an anti-social cat and lots of great people in my life.

But I’m still trying to figure life out.

In the middle.

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Related: Hang this beautiful wall art in your home to share a message of hope and remind family and friends that “We are always better together.”

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