Unhinged

20160215-Allen-Messiness

“We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are.” ~Max De Pree

The front door was literally off its hinges. The movers used some kind of screwdriver thingy to remove it because the big pieces wouldn’t fit through the door without removing the hinges.

It was an appropriate visual as I felt my heart coming unhinged as each box was loaded onto the truck — our memories and a life made in our North Alabama home.

My children began life here. Our marriage grew, and we discovered an autonomy leading us to lean into one another as team. We became our own little family unit here.

But the pages were turning and a new chapter of life was unfolding.

We were saying goodbye to a family and a community who didn’t share our blood or our last name, but who loved us and took part in our moments of pain and joy . . . and lots of laughter.

And it hurt. I ached for the friendships I was leaving behind. I worried how we would adjust. Would I make new friends? Would my kids be okay? What about this new assignment my husband was taking on? What would it look like? What was ahead? How would we fare?

As we drove away from a life built over the course of almost a decade, we drove into a season of change — big change.

A change that meant residing in a new state, attending new schools, working new jobs, building new relationships, and making new memories.

And in the midst of it all, I grieved for what I was losing. Not only was my location changing but I was changing — transforming. I wasn’t sure I liked it, but change was happening nonetheless. Fighting it was futile.

Ready or not, I was on a new assignment, even as my heart held on to my old assignment.

God has a plan for me, for you, for His Kingdom that is accomplished as we venture forward into new seasons.

And new seasons mean change. While every ounce of my being wanted to hold tightly to the familiar. I knew I didn’t want to live a life where everything stayed the same. I don’t want to wake up another decade from now and have my life look exactly as it does today.

Most of us want change without actually having to change. I also want tight abs, but I don’t actually want to go to the gym and do the exercises.

Change can be painful and it can be lovely. And usually it’s both.

Change is evidence that God is up to something.

Isaiah 43:19 (NIV) says:

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.”

Do you see the new thing God is doing in your life? You may not understand it but do you see it?

As I journey through this season of change when the ground feels shaky beneath me, I don’t want to miss what God is up to. I am surrendering myself to the uncertainty of the future and the assurance of who God is. The messiness of these moments allow God to reset the rhythms of my life to reflect His mercy, His presence, and His transforming love.

God is my provider physically, emotionally, and spiritually. He goes over and beyond meeting the needs of those who lean into Him for strength.

Don’t miss what God is up to. He is at work. His work doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. His work means He is for you. He cares enough to not leave you where you are but to write His story through your life.

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  • A

    Bobi Ann, thank you for the wonderful story this morning. Thank you for reminding me that even though change is difficult, the struggle produces a greater dependence and stronger relationship with Jesus and that is worth all the struggle. May He lift us all up in His grace during these times when change is all around us so we look forward to the journey :)

    • http://bobiann.com Bobi Ann Allen

      It is so worth the struggle but a struggle it certainly is!! It’s easy to recognize the benefit on the other side…it’s sometimes right in the middle we get distracted!

  • Bob McInnis

    Change is our mission. We are called to live in the tension that Jesus created. In this world, we are disruptions in the status quo just by saying Jesus. Bobi Ann – shake up your world.

  • http://tropichomeandfamily.com/ Holly

    Blessings to you and your family on your new journey.

    • http://bobiann.com Bobi Ann Allen

      Thanks so much Holly!

  • Meredith Van Tamelen

    Awesome spoken words were like the Lord speaking to my heart. Don’t want to miss what he is up to.

    • http://bobiann.com Bobi Ann Allen

      Thanks so much, Meredith!!

  • Mary Jo Bergstue

    I could so relate to this and loved the way you presented it. Thanks for the helpful reminder!-MJ

    • http://bobiann.com Bobi Ann Allen

      Love you, MJ!!

  • Beth Williams

    Bobbi Ann,

    You hit the nail on the head with this insightful post! This sentence resonated with me: “Change is evidence that God is up to something.” I’ve been through a long season of changes. It has been difficult and tiring. Like you my heart feels unhinged sometimes. I question why the long journey. I also lean into God more and ask what I’m supposed to learn and what His big change in me is!
    Blessings :)

    • http://bobiann.com Bobi Ann Allen

      Beth, it’s tough when you know God is up to something but it’s still so very hard to wait and trust. I’d rather know He’s up to something in me than to live without hope and wonder why…the why is found in the person and sovereignty of God!