Thirty winters ago I stepped my right foot straight down on the upturned end of a wire hanger. The pain stuck around for nearly a month. After new skin finally covered the puncture wound, which rested in between the “piggy who went to market” and the “piggy who stayed home,” my foot felt perfectly fine. Day after day, I walked, ran, skipped and danced without remembering that wire hanger or the damage it had caused.
My flesh had healed. My toes were fine. Until I slipped on a pair of flip flops. The second the plastic thong nestled between my toes I gasped with pain. I’m not referring to discomfort or mild throbbing. I’m talking about a sharp, shrilling sensation shooting from sole to spine. It took just three steps and four yelps for me to yank off those sandals and slide into sneakers.
Not long after I removed the flip flops my foot felt better. I did what any respectable 12-year-old girl would do. I blamed the shoes and hunted for a new, softer pair. I tried on flop after flop, but the results remained constant and agony accompanied each step. I gave up on flip flops that summer and decided to try again the following year. Same results. Year after that? No flip flops for me. Still today, the only summer shoe I can rock is the slide sandal.
So here’s what happened. The metal so dug deep and wide into my flesh it left a gaping hole that required immediate repair. My body set off an alarm and my cells quickly took action to accomplish one critical task: stop the bleeding. Fibers and collagen bonded and filled the chasm until my foot was fixed. Today, three decades later, each and every time that skin is pressed — even the gentlest touch — I jump, yelp and pant for air.
Some scars hurt.
Our emotions aren’t all that different from our bodies. Hearts bashed in still beat. Souls sliced up still sing. Spirits sucked all but dry still cry out for water. We hurt. We heal. We move on. For those of us who walk with Jesus, we often feel stronger after we survive a trial, because brokenness leads to wholeness.
Can one even truly be whole without first being broken? I don’t think so.
Yet some emotional cuts sever so far into our core that we’re fooled into believing they are better long before they actually heal. The cause of the pain varies from person to person and often we carry several knotted balls of hurt inside without even realizing they’re there, until something nudges them to the forefront.
This is what I call “emotional scar tissue.” Often the culprit that touches my emotional scar tissue can be as small as a friend not responding to a text or my husband sighing in frustration if I make a mistake. Just a tap of insult here and a dash of forgetfulness there in the right spot and ouch! If you’ve ever responded to mild criticism with wracking sobs or met a slight annoyance with unbridled rage, chances are great that someone or something provoked an old wound you thought had healed eons ago.
Sometimes I wonder if perhaps that’s what Paul was describing when he wrote about the “thorn in his flesh.” We can never know for certain, but it seems possible at least that he might have been referring to the subtle reminders of unflinching agony inflicted years before.
But here’s what I do know for certain.
Sometimes healing takes a long time, even after we’ve asked Jesus to take care of it.
And for as painful as it is, emotional scar tissue can be a gift. When it is hit and recognized, that pain provides an opportunity for the next level of healing to begin. Scars may look and feel ugly, but they can also be beautiful blessings.
Now, whenever someone brushes up against my emotional scar tissue, I begin to pray.
Sometimes I pray long and hard and sometimes I can only lovingly and pleadingly whisper Jesus’ name, but I know Who I need and I know I have not been abandoned with my pain.
Friend, is there an area in your life where emotional scar tissue has hardened around an old wound? If it has, it would be my honor to pray for you today. Please feel free to share your heart here or to silently cry out to God. While Jesus can heal deep pain all at once, sometimes the healing is steady, but slower moving than we’d like. If that’s where you are today, please know that you aren’t alone and you’re not forgotten. You are loved and every scar scratched on your heart is seen and will be redeemed.
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Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Angela,
I can relate to your analogy, and yes, people do bump up against my scar(s) and it still hurts. I am a very emotional and sensitive person. I was chided for it as a child and told time and time again not to wear my heart on my sleeve. My husband is wonderful in encouraging me and telling me he loves me just how God made me. He honors the sensitive side of me. Others, however, will use it to their advantage. They use it as their invitation to walk over me like a doormat and say and do whatever they want. I’m easily hurt by things that would simply run off others’ backs. The way I am makes me compassionate, yet it makes it hard to do life sometimes with all its hardness and insults. Thanks for a very thought provoking post and allowing me to lay my hurt down.
Blessings,
Bev
Angela Nazworth says
Thank you so much for sharing, Bev. I love that your husband HONORs your tender heart and sees it as the gift that it is.
Beth Williams says
Bev,
I’m right there with you. I, too, wear my heart on my sleeves. Very sensitive. God has seen fit to give us both great understanding husbands who love us for who we are. May God continue to bless you and your family.
Blessings 🙂
An says
Bev, thank you for a post that my heart echos. It is hard to live in a hard world that brushes our wounds. It is wonderful how your husband encourages you to be as the Lord made you. May you be so greatly blessed today in your healing.
Julie Garmon says
Love, Love, Love your sentence, “Can one be truly whole without first being broken.”
Beautiful. Sharing this post. xoxo
Angela Nazworth says
Thank you, sweet Julie
Beth says
Beautiful post. I was shedding a few tears on my drive in to work this morning, praising God that through brokenness, a loved one is becoming whole. When the pain first hit, we found it hard to praise…but now seeing how He’s mending and making things stronger and better, we are humbled by His healing power and touch. It’s quite the process and I couldn’t agree more with your statement; a life cannot truly be whole without first being broken.
Angela Nazworth says
Praising God for the healing that is taking place in your friend’s life!
Deb says
Thank you for your healing words. The betrayal by my husband and the divorce has left my heart so broken and shattered.
Has this brought me closer to our Lord? Yes indeed. I feel his love thru devotions like yours, friends and the beauty of everyday miracles.
But I can’t deny the utter pain I feel … Or the heartbreak of how our family has been ripped apart.
I cling to the words
“The Lord heals the broken hearted”
God Bless
Beth Williams says
Deb,
Prayers going out to you and your family. May God continue to bring healing to your soul! I pray you sense God always with you.
Blessings 🙂
Graham says
Angela, thanks for the post. This message was just what I needed. I love this statement “Sometimes I pray long and hard; sometimes I can only whisper Jesus’ name.” Right now I am dealing with emotional scars that have developed as a result of marital & family issues. Whenever I think that the wound has healed, something else comes along & lets me know that it has never healed. Because it hasn’t healed, I keep cleaning it up & applying a bandaid. Good for a little while, but it doesn’t last. So, now when I whisper Jesus’ name, I can hear Him say “I’ve got you.”
Amanda Bryant says
I cry as I read this. At 48 God’s call to deeper trust crashed into the secret scars of childhood abuse from as early as I can remember that lasted until age 11 when my parent’s gave me away. I have struggled as much with the memories themselves as I have with the aversion to remembering and facing the lies I’ve allowed to guide my whole life. This continues to be a very long and painful journey two years later. Each new layer seems so much harder then the last and I wonder if I’ll ever feel sane again. A hard lonely journey because the internal pain, the “memory pain” is so incongruent with the outward signs of my life. To those who look at me, the outward pieces of my life appear wonderful. They are. As more painful memories have come into a horrifyingly clearer focus these last couple of weeks making even getting out of bed feel like climbing Mt. Everest, I have beg God to allow me to quit this journey. I have also wished He would simply end my life as I can’t see how this comes to any good. I do want to be clear – I am not sucidal…I just wish for this pain to be over and as it seems to taking forever without good things so far I wonder if it will go on the rest of my life. These words today remind me that some scars will always hurt when “touch” in specific ways. Even so there are always ways of beauty around the pain. Thank you for writing these words for release today.
Heather says
Dear Amanda,
While I can’t say I understand exactly how you feel, I too begged God to take me home because I just couldn’t handle the emotional pain anymore. That was 20 years ago, the night after I was assaulted, having experienced something similar as a child. I now thank him for not answering my plea for he knew there was so much more he had planned for me. I pray our loving God of grace and hope continues to comfort you, strengthen you and remind you that his love for you is unconditional. So many will fail us in this life but God will never leave or abandon us. You are so loved! Pray when it’s hardest to pray and hold tight to our Lord and Savior.
Penny says
Amanda,
To touch on Heather’s reply, I am praying for you as well.
Penny
Angela Nazworth says
(((hugs)))
Amanda Bryant says
Thank you.
Angela Nazworth says
Thank you so much for outpouring love in this community, Amanda!
Amanda Bryant says
Thank you…
Angela Nazworth says
Sweet Amanda,
You are Jesus-made-brave. Thank you for sharing your heart with me. I do promise to pray for you. I know that pain of feeling unwanted, unloved and unworthy. Please know that you are none of those labels. You are beautiful and necessary and needed and valued. I will be praying that God continues to heal your hearts and repair those memories. For me, I have found much hope through therapy with a Christian Trauma Specialist. Much love to you.
Amanda Bryant says
Thank you so much. I am amazed often at how God times these posts to speak life-giving words at just the right time, seemingly just for me. Thank you.
Beth Williams says
Amanda,
Praying for you sweet sister! God will heal the pain and bring you closer to Him!!
Amanda Bryant says
Thanks!
An says
Amanda, I pray that the Lord enfolds you in His tender arms today. I am with you as I am in the same journey. Sweet sister, don’t give up in this place in your journey for the Lord will bring such good out of it. I have experienced His healing grace when the pain was unbearable and I pleaded for release, His mighty arms giving strength to endure. You are loved beyond measure; keep your eyes fixed on Him when the waves crash in. He will bring you through. May He comfort and lift you up, carrying you in the pain through to a place of peace. Praying for you, dear sister
Amanda Bryant says
Thank you!
Beth Werner Lee says
The part about my husband sighing with frustration when I get something wrong hit a chord. I’d love prayer for health in my family relationships.
Angela Nazworth says
Yes! When little things cause deep hurt, I know that a tender place has been touched for sure. Thank you for sharing.
JeanneTakenaka says
Angela, truly a beautiful post. I loved your words about to know wholeness we first have to know brokenness. Such truth here. After I had ACL reconstruction surgery in February the surgeon and my PT’s told me to rub around the scars from the surgery, or else the scar tissue could attach to the bone. I’d never thought about the underside of incisions before. Scar tissue is so often invisible but it is very present.
I’ve had people bump up against my scars in ways that left me in tears. God is healing those broken areas in my life. He’s also using those scars to give me a better view of others—more of an ability to view other broken people through His eyes and with His compassion. Those scars on our hearts aren’t wasted, if we let God conform us into the image of Jesus.
Loved your post today!
Penny says
Angela,
Thank-you from the bottom of my heart for your post. I’m sorry for the pain you’ve been through.
A few years before my parents were gone my yellow lab passed away in my daughter’s and my arms. All of our hearts shattered, he had brought us all so much love and joy. Every Spring since a little yellow finch appeared in our front window like the Lord sent him directly to us. Yesterday after we read Charlotte’s Web my son and I saw something hit the window. We rushed out but unfortunately it was a little yellow finch. We tried to make the best of it and ended up giving him a little service with my son saying a few precious words. I had saved some Marigold seeds from a Children’s Hospice with the caption “Celebrate Living In The Moment” that we planted together and set near the little finch. It felt as if this was the Lord’s way of helping us to let go.
Blessings to all,
My prayers are with you for healing
Penny
Kristi Howell says
Absolutely love this post. Thank you for your life-giving words!
Lauren Griesmeyer says
Angela, Thankyou for your deep words! I have been going a lonely road of healing from a past terrible core wound that affected my whole life! I have been timid because of it and easily
threatened! It has taken years to heal and get over it! Maybe you never totally do?! I even shyed away from going to church…….But I am a believer! I Pray diligently to the Lord every
day! THe Lord has been kind to me and works with me daily…….fortunately I found a wonderful therapist to work with me weekly! God bless her! Her kindness and listening to me cry again and again has been healing…….sometimes we need to cry…….anyway….it has
taken a long time, years, but Ive worked thru alot of stuff! Please keep me in your prayers or
anyone else’s! I could sure use them! Thanks for sharing and caring! Love in Christ, Lauren
An says
Praying, dear sister…
Rebecca Jones says
I totally get this, I pray the Lord will remove scar tissue. He is the most precise of all surgeons. Especially, when it’s a matter of the heart. Sometimes, people are just ignorant, maybe indifferent, maybe they don’t see us with any problems and secretly envy us. I had someone say she was jealous of me, she had no idea what I was going through. I will be there for her when she does go through her grief. You do just have to whisper His name.
covenantwmn says
My first husband left me 28 years ago for someone. I remarried 8 years ago to the most wonderful man I know. But I am recognizing that though healing was hard fought for and won through Christ, the scars are there and on occasion there is an ache. Wouldn’t trade this life for that in a million years, but never-the-less, still there. Thanks for this post. ♥
TimsArmyWifey says
Sometimes I feel like just one big scar or that so many of them are being pressed at once!
Therese says
Please pray for me. I can completely relate to this. My mom died when I was 7, my dad died when I was 39, my husband died two years ago. I also deal with anxiety and obsessions/compulsions/grief. I’ve been praying that God would bring the right man into my life but lately I think I need to pray that the Holy Spirit will make me bold and courageous and unafraid. I ask the Holy Spirit to heal all my inner wounds. I pray that I can learn to make myself happy and not depend on others to do it and that I can take care of myself and be independent. Thank you for your prayers.
Beth Williams says
Therese,
Prayers for God to help heal your anxiety, OCD & grief. May the Holy Spirit touch you and make you unafraid. I pray for God to send strength, contentment and bless you with peace.
Blessings 🙂
Joanna @ Modern Ruth Project says
Thanks for the post! Very true that we have some hurts that we may get past, but never really get over. Even small things can trigger our defense mechanisms and then watch out! As with so many other women who have commented below, I have my own hurt that has slowly become worn down to the point that I no longer think about it daily, weekly, or monthly, but it’s still there, a small ache deep inside. I have often wondered why Jesus does not take it away altogether – but you’re right, perhaps it is making me a whole person. Thanks for sharing!
Beth Williams says
Angela,
I have low self esteem and am very easily hurt. My emotions are on my sleeve always. Often times I will hear or think things that are wrong (lies). The lies hurt deep. God blessed me with a super great hubby who loves me for me. He always tells me how much he loves me. I find myself praying a lot these days. Like you it may be long and hard or it may be a simple whisper for help.
Thank you for a great inspiring post.
Blessings 🙂
An says
Angela, I praise the Lord for this tender and heart filled post. Thank you for your words that bring hope in the healing. I am sorry that you have endured the pain you have. The Lord Jesus is breaking down my scars, gently leading me to the wholeness that comes from the broken, how He brings such goodness out of these places as we trust in Him. How I love how you said that wholeness only comes out of brokenness. It helps me to see more clearly the blessing in the suffering. May each of us be held in His strong and loving arms today as we move along the healing journey.
Margarite says
Hello!! I believe God spoke through you to me with this post today. As a child my father instilled in my mind over and over 3 terrible hurtful words. He called me a Mute, a Zero, and a Nothing. As an adult I have worked so so hard at trying to feel heard, validated, and like a SOMEBODY. I give to others all that I wish I could have received so they can feel like they’re somebody, making sure I never treat them like I was treated. But I still can feel ignored or forgotten about by others and it puts me right back into that feeling like
A nothing again. These scars are deep and at 50 I’m still not heeled completely. Thank you for letting me know one day these scars are seen and one day will be redeemed. I’ll be hanging that slogan (prayer) we’re I can see it!!
kris says
Thank you, Angela for your words. I went onto incourage’s Instagram today seeking Truth and Encouragement from the Lord. My husband and I have been trying and hoping to have a baby for a while, which is difficult in of itself. But lately Satan has been getting at a sensitive spot in my heart with these words, “you are a failure.” If you would pray with me as I wrestle with this lie, I would be so appreciative! Thank you again!
Jenn says
I needed this today after a wound I thought had been healed was split wide open. Thank you for sharing.
Lou says
Please pray over my marriage, and protection and truth over it. Also, please pray for healing on a health issue that has me wounded physically. Please pray for being able to conceive a healthy baby, as the almost year long struggle has me wounded emotionally.
Marya says
Please pray for me!