My grandfather came to live with us, after my grandmother passed away. He’d sit on the banquette in our kitchen, one leg crossed over the other, his right hand resting on our butcher block table. Sometimes I’d pass through the kitchen on my way to somewhere else. Other times, I’d stand at the counter for a bit to talk with him. Often, I made him sardine sandwiches on white bread with mustard.
On one of these afternoons, after I’d made the sandwich, I reached into the dishwasher to get a glass for some ice water. The dishwasher had just finished its cycle, so the glass in my hand was warm. Sitting at the kitchen table, my grandfather watched me from beneath his eyebrows. “That glass is going to break,” he said to me as I dropped a few ice cubes into the glass. “No it won’t,” I replied, with unfounded confidence.
Holding the glass in my hand, I turned on the tap at the kitchen sink and positioned the glass beneath a stream of cold water. Looking back, I imagine my grandfather silently counting beneath his breath, “One, two . . .” Bam! Just as he’d predicted, the glass formed a deep crack, right there in my hand. The glass held together, but it was no longer good for a glass of iced tea.
I think, for a lot of us, the journey toward oneness and unity often feels like thermal shock to our souls and our hearts.
The stress of the work often feels like uneven pressure, causing us to shatter under the weight of it all. Sometimes, it’s not even the oneness journey that breaks us. Sometimes, the simple act of living through a regular day in our particular corner of this broken world creates its own brand of thermal shock in our lives. Sometimes, we break like the glass I held in my hand that day, without any collateral damage. Other times, we explode. Not only do we break, but we cause immense pain and damage to those around us.
Our Brokenness Is God’s Way In
We are brokenhearted people. Much has been said about the state of our brokenness and, I must admit, I have grown weary of our claim to being broken and messy. Even so, we have been, indeed. But sometimes we get sloppy and we wear our brokenness as a badge of honor, or we invoke our messiness as a reason for staying that way.
Consider this tale, a gift from the Hassidic tradition and recounted by Parker J. Palmer in his book, Healing the Heart of Democracy:
A disciple asks the rebbe: “Why does the Torah tell us to ‘place these words upon your hearts’? Why does it not tell us to place these holy words in our hearts?”
The rebbe answers: “It is because as we are, our hearts are closed, and we cannot place the holy words in our hearts. So we place them on top of our hearts. And there they stay until, one day, the heart breaks and words fall in.
If God is going to get through to us, it’s often through our brokenness.
God makes His way in, because of our brokenness. Through our brokenness — in spite of our brokenness — God transforms us. Nothing is beyond God’s capacity, ability, or desire to redeem, restore, and reconcile. There is no timetable for this journey. Some tragic heartbreaks make restoration and reconciliation seem impossible and even undesirable. But reconciliation is God’s gift to us, and to the human condition, even though it sometimes arrives through the pain of a broken heart.
Bryan Stevenson is the author of a book called, Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption. Stevenson is the founder of the Equal Justice Initiative, “a legal practice dedicated to defending the poor, the wrongly condemned, and those trapped in the furthest reaches of our criminal justice system.”
Day after day, Stevenson and his team encounter and seek to make right the inhumane and unjustifiably harsh conditions so many prisoners are enduring, even as I write these words. The work that Stevenson and his team do on behalf of others is truly heartbreaking. It leaves a mark. Day after day, working on behalf of the wrongly convicted, forming a bond of trust with them, and far too often seeing their life cut unjustifiably short via lethal injection or the electric chair, takes its toll on a person. Stevenson writes, “You can’t effectively fight abusive power, poverty, inequality, illness, oppression, or injustice and not be broken by it. We are all broken by something.”
The word of God makes it clear that we are in desperate need of a Savior and that we fail miserably when left to our own devices.
In John 15, Jesus reminds us we are not the ones in charge. He tells us:
Remain in Me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in Me. ‘I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing. If you do not remain in Me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned.’ {John 15:4-6, emphasis mine}
We are helpless without the presence of Christ in us. It’s true. But it is precisely the presence of Christ in us that changes everything. We are filled with the presence of Christ, through the power of the Holy Spirit. We are sinners, yes. But we are also saved. We are microcosms of God’s great work in the cosmos. The work God is doing on a grand scale, to restore the world to itself and to God, is also happening, on a smaller scale, in each of us who invites God to take the lead in the way we live our lives.
A Prayer: LORD, our brokenness makes us stronger when it’s transformed by Your Spirit. We invite You in, to our brittle, fragile, aching world. We invite You in, to our brittle, fragile, aching souls. Amen.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Deidra,
I love that quote from Parker Palmer’s book about placing the words of scripture “upon” our hearts so that when our heart breaks the words can fall in. What poignant imagery. In this world we do have hardened hearts – ones that so desperately need to be softened by the Truth. People are putting their faith in people and not in the only One who can truly redeem and restore. We take up sides instead of building bridges. My prayer is that we would love each other as Jesus loved – with a unifying not a dividing kind of love. Lord, soften our hardened hearts that the Words may fall in and let us see others as brothers and sisters not “us” and “them”. Beautifully inspiring post Deidra!
Blessings,
Bev
Deidra Riggs says
Yes. That quote has stayed with me from the very first time I read it. That book, by Parker J. Palmer, is such a great read for our time. I highly recommend it.
Beth Williams says
Bev,
AMEN! We need to love more as God loves us!
Blessings Sweet Sister in Christ! 🙂
Michele Morin says
That realization — how miserably I fail when left to my own devices — keeps me close to the Word, and I’m realizing that it’s not just a fear-thing, but really an act of faith to say (like your great rebbe story!), “I’m gonna keep this handy, just in case I need it, because I know I will!”
Always so great to read your words wherever I find them!
Deidra Riggs says
Ah, you are a better woman than I, Michele! I really have to work at not thinking I have all the answers. I wait until I get backed into a corner before I realized, “Oh! Right! The bible!” Or, “Oh! Right! Prayer!” Good grief! In some things, I am a very slow learner. 😉
Cassandra says
Timely and powerful. Worthy of a re-read and a definite pass-on. Transformative and heartbreaking. Thank you!
Karen Phillips says
Diedra
I have been reading your words of wisdom for about a year now — but these so very inspired, so eloquently told. Thank you for sharing your gift with us. Thank you for your insight. I was blessed.
Megan Ellis says
Deidra,
Thank you for posting this piece. It is amazing how our God works. This spoke to me in his perfect timing. You write beautifully.
Many thanks and many blessings,
Peggy
Jennifer Frisbie says
It was just a month ago that I spoke to a room full of women regarding brokenness, scars, healing… And that quote up above about the heart really sealed it for me. It makes sense that the words would be hard to absorb when our lives are closed to His help. When the heart is sealed shut. I have been cocky. I have been bitter. I have been in denial. All have kept me from the goodness of His grace and bent me toward utilizing my own devices.
I know now that it’s my choice. I first have to acknowledge where I’ve been broken have to agree to His healing. I have to hand over those pieces and let Him work them back together again, all the while, the promises of His word falling inside.
And the funny thing is – is that I have to remind myself to do it over and over again. How easily the flesh remembers old habits. Something to be said about our eyes constantly fixed on Him…
Deidra Riggs says
And He is so eager to help us, once we hand those pieces over to Him. Love your words here, Jennifer. Thank you.
Melissa Henderson says
Beautiful message. 🙂
Ro Elliott says
Yes yes… for me, brokenness is the place that Grace became real… Not just a God word… But a living …breathing reality in my life… My heart was like you discribed… Words of His Love laid on my heart … One at a time… Slowing cracking my hard heart … Until it broke in millions of pieces … The broken beautiful place where Grace and Mercy come in like a flood … The place where His redeeming Love restores… And I heard great reviews about … Just Mercy… On my list!!! Blessings Deidra and thanks for all you do!!!
Deidra Riggs says
Read “Just Mercy” and let me know what you think? I’d love to hear your thoughts about it, Ro.
Tori says
Thank you for this. Exactly what my breaking heart needed to read this morning. It is meaningful when we get more of Him. Amen
Kelli McKnight says
Glorious words. Thank you for articulating something I’ve been frustrated with for some time. “We get sloppy and we wear our brokenness as a badge of honor.” Yes I see this so often in the lives of women. I recently finished Just Mercy, it changed me. Should be required reading for all Americans.
Deidra Riggs says
Such a good book for the world.
Corena Hall says
To love as He commanded is to heal ourselves and each other in His grace. He is Sovereign and only He can change hearts towards the acceptance of being His love. No one can take credit for any of it, our wealth or lack, our wisdom or lack, our success or its lack except Jesus our God! And the beauty is that accepting His will, in His way and in His time allows love to grow and glow for His glory! For He promises “He uses all things for good…”
Graham says
“If God is going to get through to us, it’s often through our brokenness.” I love this statement. I’ve been going through a season of brokenness. During this time, God has shown me that I must loose the reigns & let Him guide me. Sometimes I feel that I’ve got to take things into my own hands in order for them to change. But God. ..has shown me that in order for me to get through this season I must surrender & give my burdens to Him. Thank you, Deidra, for this beautiful post.
Deidra Riggs says
God’s ways always seem so backwards, don’t they? To gain our lives, we have to lose them. To find peace, we must love our enemies. To be great, we should become least. But, His ways are right. They are tried and true. I just said a prayer for you, Graham, as you let go, instead of holding on. May you see God’s blessing in that.
Robin Dance says
“… reconciliation is God’s gift to us, and to the human condition, even though it sometimes arrives through the pain of a broken heart.”
Oh, friend…I’m gonna have a hard time waiting until April to read One. I’ve already been waiting for this from you for a long, long while.
xo
Deidra Riggs says
Oh, you and me both, Robin. You and me both.
Penny says
Deirdre,
Your entire post this morning has deeply touched me, thank-you. I wanted to add more but I think I’ll leave it at that and read this over.
Blessings to you,
Penny
Deidra Riggs says
Peace to you, Penny.
LaToya Brown says
Let the church say, “Amen.”
An says
Deidra, how good the Lord is in bringing these beautiful words. I am so grateful for this tender touching of my heart thorough your post. There are days that I think we live with stony hearts because we are trying not to break and yet its in the breaking that we are healed by the broken heart of Jesus, we become open, vulnerable to His love. Its your words “Through our brokenness — in spite of our brokenness — God transforms us.” that bring hope that He will heal. I loved your story about the heart, its exactly in that story that one can see what is needing healing and can lead to a prayer for the Lord to melt our resistances and soften our hearts through His gentle love, truth, and serving others . May He touch each of our wounded hearts today, softening them for Him and each of our brothers and sisters so we can be one family in the vine of Christ.
Deidra Riggs says
Amen, An. Amen.
Jeanne Takenaka says
Deidre, such a thought-provoking post. As I thought about how often we go around declaring ourselves, “broken”or “a mess” and we remain in that condition, that’s not where God wants to leave us. I’m learning there is beauty in realizing where the broken places are in my life, my heart. And God’s helping me to see the root of the brokenness. I confess, I’ve been one who’s worn her brokenness as a mantle. I didn’t think about how it reflects my lack of trusting God to heal me. He’s been showing me that He has so much more for me—for each of us—than for us to remain in brokenness. You’re so right that God often gets through to us through our brokenness.
And this? “But reconciliation is God’s gift to us, and to the human condition, even though it sometimes arrives through the pain of a broken heart.” This spoke to me.
Deidra Riggs says
Yes, yes. Me too. I am learning these same things. Thank you for these words, Jeanne. Peace to you.
Emily Conrad says
What a wonderful quote from Healing the Heart of Democracy! Sometimes, it does seem like the daily faith disciplines lay truth “on” instead of “in” our hearts, but when our hearts break, that truth does fall right in. And this: “We are sinners, yes. But we are also saved. We are microcosms of God’s great work in the cosmos.” Our Healer and Redeemer lives, and He is active!
Shauna says
Thank you for sharing this. One thought that occurred to me: the glass may have broken, and our hearts frequently crack from “thermal shock”, but God doesn’t throw us away- He still uses us anyway. So thankful for that…His word is the glue that creates a beautiful mosaic.
Rebecca L Jones says
I too has grown weary of the broken and messy attributes of fellow Christians and myself. I purposely went back over some of my writing and am careful to be encouraging, rather than depressing. I hope all the broken hearts allow the words to fall in and God closes them over. It’s wonderful to share, but let’s let the joy of the Lord be our strength. Wonderful post, I love the Rabbi’s story.
Toni says
Thank-you for your words.
Emilie Mallette says
God’s timing is perfect! This is exactly what I needed today. Thank you for being a vessel used by God to touch and bless others with your words that the Lord gave you to sure.
Blessings,
Emilie
Elizabeth says
So, so good.
Beth Williams says
Deidre,
My heart breaks when I see and hear of the tragedy befalling mankind in t his world. ‘Nothing is beyond God’s capacity, ability, or desire to redeem, restore, and reconcile.’ My prayer for this world and all the people is that God would come and reconcile us to Himself. People would reach such desperate brokenness that they cry out to Abba Father. Without Him we fail miserably. Praise God He cares for us and our broken lives. May His word fall into our hearts and we all remain in Him constantly. This life would be so much harder for me if God wasn’t in control!!
Blessings 🙂