Last summer I was a sad song stuck on repeat. Wrought with loneliness, over and over again I cried out to God asking, “Where are my deep friendships?”
In a perfect world, my idea of a deep friendship is composed of two people who love each other so deeply that it’s a bit overwhelming. If you’re discouraged, your friend is there to listen and encourage you. If you’re excited, she’s the one popping the champagne bottle. If you’re frustrated, she’s the one pulling you out of it and helping you change your attitude to joy. She asks all the right questions at all the right times and is 100% invested in the story God is writing through your life.
Basically, this perfect friend is birthed straight out of 1 Peter 4:8 which says,
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.
Absorbed by my longing for perfect depth, discontent descended like a fog over my relationships. Instead of focusing on what they offered, I could only see what they lacked.
One day, as I sat in front of my computer, journaling to the Lord, I got a little angry. “I don’t get it, Lord! I know and fully believe You love community, but is this not what You want for me? Am I wrong to crave deep friendships?”
At a loss, I scrolled through my emails and came across a newsletter for one of the blogs I follow, and in it I found Psalm 62:1-2. It says,
My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken.
After reading those words, I exhaled heavily; I knew God’s answer. In the quiet of my home office He answered my prayers saying, “Mindy, I am the only one who can love you like that; I am the only one who can perfectly meet your longings.”
I was so consumed with what I thought was missing, I failed to recognize that our Heavenly Father is the friend who exceeds expectations.
When I am discouraged, He’s there to comfort me. When I am excited, He rejoices alongside me. When I’m frustrated, He reminds me to choose His great joy. He doesn’t have to ask the right questions at the right times because He knows my heart – He knit me together in my mother’s womb and is 100% invested in who I am. Our Father is the only one who is fully capable of living out 1 Peter 4:8.
He loves us deeply, because His love covers all of our sins.
In that moment, I learned that my soul truly finds rest in Him alone. And as soon as I did, the weight fell off my friendships. Released from the bondage of my expectations, the fog lifted and I could see the beauty and blessing in each and every one.
I am not going to give up on fighting for deep relationships. I want to love and be loved deeply. But I now know, no matter what my friendships look like, my longings will never go unmet; God has already filled those shoes.