My ego almost caused me to walk right past an incredible blessing. There she was, standing down the hallway of the church. Just seeing her there stirred up that red-hot feeling from months ago that made fire run from my gut to my cheeks. You see, I happened to walk in on her speaking about me in a not-so-nice way. I acted like it was no big deal at the time, but here I was, getting heated all over again.
As I walked by her, I tried to act busy and not make eye contact. I was, in fact, incredibly busy. I was helping set up a women’s ministry event for that evening, and our guest speaker would be there any moment. But then I felt it – the nudging. I could feel it as plainly as a rumble in my hungry stomach.
“Talk to her. Invite her to come tonight,” He whispered.
“Um, no thanks, God. In case You don’t remember, she isn’t too keen on me, and I’m not feeling the love all that much either.”
I kept walking.
“I’m asking you to talk to her.”
This was a slightly less gentle nudging. I knew I would be disobeying if I didn’t turn around, but I slowly shuffled ahead.
“I just can’t do it, God, “ I argued. “If I don’t get these last things ready for tonight, I won’t be ready on time. And I just can’t make myself turn around. It doesn’t work this time. I’m sure I’ll get another chance, “ I justified.
Then I stopped. I closed my eyes. It took me a few moments to gather the courage to turn around and head toward her.
My stomach hurt and my heart started beating faster. But as I got closer, I had no choice but to speak. I offered a cheerful greeting and asked how she was doing. She was as surprised as I was. We exchanged small talk, and then I asked her if she would want to come to the women’s ministry event happening in a very short time. I explained we had a speaker coming to talk to us about grace and how to help girls experiencing an unplanned pregnancy.
She broke into sobs almost immediately.
She explained she wouldn’t be great company, as this was her story. She went on to share that when she was in high school, and the word got out that she was going to have a baby, she and her family were met with judgment, harsh words, and humiliation. Everybody has a story.
We hugged and cried together in the hallway, and suddenly, it didn’t matter if the table settings were ready or if the cheesecake was thawed. This is what it is about. And I almost walked right past it.
Romans 12:9-10 says,
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong, hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
I was overflowing with love for this woman as I hugged her tightly, yet, just moments before, I was justifying why I shouldn’t talk to her.
There will always be a reason to keep us from genuinely loving. But we can decide to be different. We can respond in love when someone hurts us or when it’s difficult to love them. This is what can make those who follow Christ look different from the rest of the world.
Love that knows no bounds. Love wrapped in grace. Love that can get over our own insecurities, doubts, and fears. Love that doesn’t have conditions or rights. Love that doesn’t demand its own way.
As I read 1 Corinthians 13, it has a whole new meaning. Read those words, picturing those you hold back your love from, intentionally or unintentionally. It’s not easy being vulnerable in this way, but take steps to show genuine affection, no matter the cost.
Don’t walk right past those opportunities God has placed in your path to let His love flow through you.
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Melissa,
How good it is that you listened to God’s whispers and then His outright urging. So many times we want to push those feelings down and let our pride take over. After all, we have a reason to be wounded and hurt and we make it all about us. Here, this woman obviously needed it to be about her that morning and because you listened to God you opened an avenue for God to comfort her through you. Listening…truly listening and obey God’s whispers…it takes practice. Thank you for sharing.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Melissa Anderson says
Thanks, Bev! It makes me wonder how many times I have walked by that blessing. Always growing and forever grateful for His grace!
Michele Morin says
Melissa, thank you for listening to God in that moment. I’m that girl who thaws the cheesecake and sets the table and runs right by the soul that needs to empty itself of hurt in the presence of a loving sister. Because of your words today, I am challenged to stop and listen and take risks for the sake of the Body.
Again. Thank you.
Mary says
Me too Michele. Justifying comes easier than obedience when our emotions are attached.
Thank you Melissa for this healthy reminder. As Mother Teresa and Heidi Baker says, “Stop for the one.” I know the jargon. My heart is to start living it.
Cheryl Anderson says
Mary, I am going to remember that sentence: “Justifying comes easier than obedience when our emotions are attached.” Good one.
Melissa Anderson says
It’s not easy to slow down long enough to see past what’s right in front of us, but I feel the Spirit just begging me to slow down and truly see. We need to help remind our fellow sisters what’s important and encourage each other in this journey. I’m so glad you are encouraged to step out today – He will bless you for it!
ME says
Wow! Isn’t it awesome the way God works if we but let Him? I really enjoyed this writing! I know what it’s like to keep loving when falsely criticized and accused. I happen to go to church with people like that. But I give them the benefit of the doubt that they really didn’t know what they were doing. And they really have no idea how deeply they have hurt me. I continue to love them and talk with them. It is such a blessing in my life to not hold onto hurt! And it makes me think twice before judging someone else! I am also so blessed to read I’m not the only one who struggles with reaching out to those who have hurt me…. but then following Jesus’ way and doing it. Thanks so much for another timely article.
Melissa Anderson says
God has a way of giving us just what we need at just the right moment, doesn’t He?! Thank you for your kind words. I am praying for strength to continue to love those in your church and to be willing to continue to make yourself vulnerable. We certainly can’t rely on our own strength, but He will give you the strength, and His love will flow right through you!
Julie Swenson says
Great post and a gentle reminder of the lessons we continue to learn everyday.
Melissa Anderson says
Thanks, Julie!
Brenda says
What a sweet testimony, Melissa. — What graceful courage it takes to step outside of our disappointment and be a living sacrifice pointing a hurting world to the One who mends spirits. — Thanks for sharing. 🙂
Melissa Anderson says
Thanks, Brenda! The world sure needs sacrificial love, especially right now. Blessings to you!
Beth Williams says
Melissa,
My pastor has a saying “When you get those ought to feelings–you should follow them”. It is probably the Holy Spirit prompting you. It is easy to be busy and rush by people. You just never know who might need a hug or a shoulder to cry on. I always try to stop and really talk to people. Find out what’s going on in their lives. Thank you for taking time to stop and talk with that girl. She really needed you and God knew it!
We should never let pride or our busyness get in the way of listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit. For one day we might be the one who needs a hug or shoulder to cry on!
Blessings 🙂
Melissa Anderson says
How true, Beth, thank you for that reminder! So grateful for people like you who stop and really take time for people. We underestimate the importance of these conversations, but as the article says, everybody has a story. You are an encouragement!
Bonnie says
I can agree with what you wrote. I’ve been there. And it’s the hardest thing to do in the moment. But afterwards you wonder why you fretted about it. If we love only those who love us what have we gained even non-christians do that. But if you love the unlovable you are doing what Christ did for us…loving us when we were sinners.
Melissa Anderson says
Absolutely! Your willingness to “be different” is a great encouragement!
Courtney says
This is excellent! Thank you for the reminder that there is always a reason to keep us from loving, yet there is always a reason TO love. Because of Christ and His sacrifice we can choose to love even when it is scary or hard. I’m thankful for your obedicience in this situation and for the blessing you received (and gave!) in it. Such encouraging words this morning.
Melissa Anderson says
Thanks, Courtney! Praying for courage for all of us to love like this! How different our world would look!
laurel says
All I can say is Amen, Amen, and ouch. I can SO relate to that feeling of withheld forgiveness….God help us all in that area to grow up. This article encouraged and blessed me greatly. When I got to the paragraph about how the author walked past the fellow Christian who hurt her feelings, initially choosing not to be obedient to the leading of the Holy Spirit, I thought ‘wow, disobedience to God’s will because she was too busy trying to set up a room for MINISTRY purposes???’…then I turned that spotlight on myself. How many times have I acted in that same manner?? sometimes we I) forget that true ministry starts in our hearts not in our hands. Thank you SO much for sharing the ‘meat’ of what God has taught you with the Body of Christ. God bless
Melissa Anderson says
Yes, I wish I could say loving and forgiving those who have hurt me was easy, but I’m not quite there yet. But we can keep listening to Him and doing the “difficult thing.” I really like how you said, “ministry starts in our hearts not in our hands.” What great wisdom! Thank you for sharing!
Serena says
You story so reminded me of Corrie Ten Boom who God had asked to forgive the very man who caused the death of her sister. Yes, the extent of the wounding is lesser but still it requires faith, courage and strength to get past oneself to do what He wants. The very thing that hurts us can be the very thing that heals us. Thank you so much for the great reminder and great sharing. Shalom!
Melissa Anderson says
There is such freedom in this kind of love and forgiveness! Thank you for your beautiful words, Serena!
Charlene S. says
Thanks Melissa for this great lesson in grace and mercy! I remember shopping at a discount store and overheard a debate going on between an elderly woman and a small child. The child wanted a particular toy but the woman said she can’t afford it. The child was close to tears. The Holy Spirit nudged me to help but I first refused because I was in a hurry, unemployed and low on money. I had the what-about-me-attitude. I reluctantly approached the lady and asked “Can I buy her that toy? She cried and said her son just died and she’s raising her grandchild. I hugged her and ministered to her. Just think, that was almost a lost opportunity to minister to a grieving soul.
Melissa Anderson says
You just never know when God is going to give you the opportunity to show His love, even in a discount store! Thank you for being on the lookout for ways to love and listening to His Voice, even when you could justify not doing it. You are an encouragement!
Cheryl Anderson says
This was a very relevant testimony for me. Sometimes it is so easy to look at “my feelings,” “my wounds,”
or “my needs” and not think about why someone might have behaved the way they did. Your article
reminds us that LOVE demands that we think of others first. I thought your article had a, kind of, “shadow message” too about obedience. You obeyed God, not your “feelings” and as a result God was able to share
a greater lesson a greater blessing with you. Thank you!
Melissa Anderson says
I just love how God knows that one of the greatest ways to heal our wounds or hurt feeling is to lay them at the feet of the one who hurt us. So often, doing “the difficult thing” produces such great blessings for us as well and so often we can miss out on that! Thank you for your response!
Juliette says
Thank you so much, I’ve been truly blessed by the post and all the testimonies shared by all.
This is an experience we all can relate to.
Thanks again for the timely reminder
Melissa Anderson says
I’m hoping the encouragement you feel spreads like wildfire! Thanks for sharing!
Beth says
Melissa, thank you for the gift of your story. It is a wonderful reminder that everything met with grace will work out as God planned. I needed this message today and I will use it gratefully.
Melissa says
What a gift it is to know this message was an encouragement to you and that you are able to use to be a blessing to others. Praying for sure& courage!
Christie says
These are the exact verses I’ve been pondering this week. They are so hard to truly live, but if we trusted God enough to lean into this way of life, our world would be transformed!
Melissa Anderson says
I agree, Christie! I think so many of us want to live like this, to love like this, and to be loved like this. So glad we can encourage each other to be different in this way!
Andrea says
Thanks for the continuance of encouragement. It helped me today and I hope it helps me in the future. I so have been on both sides of that situation and I understand how difficult it is. Thanks for sharing
Melissa Anderson says
I’m so glad you were encouraged! Sometimes we just need that reminder and hopefully “living differently” will be contagious!
Rebecca L Jones says
Don’t you just love that nudge, the insistance? You gotta love Jesus for sending us the Holy Spirit.
Melissa Anderson says
Amen!!!!
Gail Noe says
THANK YOU FOR THIS SCRIPTURE! I AM SO BLESSED YOU POSTED THIS. GOD IS CHANGING MY HEART WITH HIS LOVE AND I AM SEEING OTHERS DIFFERENTLY. AMAZING!!! AWESOME!!! WHAT AN AMAZING GOD WE HAVE!
Melissa says
He IS so good! Praying for you to truly know His profound love so it just can’t help but spill over into everyone around you, difficult or not…