“Surely God is my salvation; I will trust and not be afraid. The Lord, the Lord himself, is my strength and my defense; he has become my salvation.”
When Faith and Fears Collide
The last thing I expected to be doing that day was laying on a hospital bed listening to a doctor read me the risks involved in a life-threatening emergency surgery. Who is prepared for that? As a busy wife, mom, and business owner, I didn’t have time for an emergency!
As the man in the scrubs was standing over me reading the scary pre-surgery warnings and risks of my current condition, I glanced over to see the tear-filled eyes of my worried mother and youngest daughter standing at the foot of the hospital bed.
The tears welling up in their eyes caused my eyes to try to bat away fears on their behalf. I liked to stay poised and in control in all situations, so I really didn’t want to melt down or be the cause of everyone’s worry that day. But I was unable to stop the tears or walk away with that IV strapped to my arm. This was happening.
My husband was at our home three hours away preparing to launch a brand new church. My emergency was such inconvenient timing for all of us! How I wished I had time to at least call him, but the anesthesia started to blur my thoughts.
I started to pray and then I was out.
Glory be to God, hours later I woke up in a recovery bed. “Wow. I’m still here,” I marveled to myself. I thanked God for another day to serve on earth. While God spared my life that day, that memory has been a timely reminder to me that He is and always has been in control of every breath. Any other outcome would have been no less in His hands.
Particularly when it comes to the safety of my family, I tend be a worrier and carry the fear of every potential outcome on my own shoulders. I’m actually pretty good at creatively imagining worst case and emergency situations. I don’t even need a real emergency to get my mind spiraling.
Why do I fear what could happen, when I know there will never be a situation in our life that is out of His control? Fear and faith seem to be competing currents rushing through my veins. For the later to prevail, I must remind myself that God is always with me and available to carry me through.
He alone gives us the strength to face the hardships of life, and that truth is worth resting in and celebrating!
We were made for something greater than this fallen world, so every breath will always be in God’s hands. We don’t need to fear. He has promised to be with us and go before us every day. Because of that promise, we can confidently say in all situations, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.” (Hebrews 13:6).
In what ways do your faith and fears collide?