After hearing an amazing message by Kasey Van Norman about the Samaritan woman, I have been processing the difference between being transparent and being vulnerable — and how they both play out in my life.
To boil it down, transparency is telling the facts, while vulnerability is digging deep beneath the surface of those facts to the roots. There is a bit of distance that we keep when only being transparent with God or others. Vulnerability invites God and others into the heart of our situation. There is a chance for rejection when we are vulnerable. We run the risk of people seeing the real us and possibly unfriending us. And y’all, that is downright scary!
Growing up, I was more of a loner. I kept to myself a great deal. I had a few friends, but I only allowed them into my life at arm’s length. Now, I have seen and experienced both the beauty and pain of community. Often my instinct is to go back to doing life alone, but I know that I can’t. I know that is not what is best for me. I know that is not God’s design.
Over the last couple of months, there has been this war in my mind. You’re probably familiar with it. It’s the one where old memories and wounds and trauma and sins flood your every thought. At moments, this war has physically felt like a weight on my chest. I honestly don’t know that I have ever felt this type of attack from the enemy before. But, here I am, in the middle of it. I’ve been trying to fight this battle on my own. I can be really prideful at times. I’m too self-sufficient for my own good. Jesus and I are working on that.
The Lord, in all of His love and kindness, won’t let me get away with this solo game plan. He has gone behind my back and laid me on several of my friends’ hearts. They, in turn, were obedient to pray for me and reach out to tell me they were praying for me. Then, I was intentional about sharing my struggles.
There is so much of our relationship with the Father that is worked in the secret place with Him, but there is just as much work that happens within life-on-life relationships.
Although I know better, I default to thinking that if I pretend like something isn’t happening, it’s not really happening. I pretend that God doesn’t see and know everything. Why I do that, I have no idea. Actually, I might. Kasey defined sin as any area of our lives where we are distrusting God. If we’re honest, there’s at least one area in all of our lives where we think we know better than Him, where we think we could manufacture a better outcome. This is sin, and sin must be confessed.
As not fun or appealing as confession is, it is the key to lasting victory.
Cleansing is found in confession.
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
The very nature of sin lends itself to an onslaught of shame and guilt. Whether that sin was 10 years ago or 10 minutes ago, the enemy wants to heap that shame and guilt all over us. But God is incredibly gracious and provides new mercies and fresh starts. His heart for us is not to be perfect, but to live forgiven. All we have to do is get gut-level honest and vulnerable with Him. When we lay ourselves before Him, we can live whole and healed and restored.
Freedom is found in confession.
Then I acknowledged my sin to You and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the Lord.” And You forgave the guilt of my sin. (Psalm 32:5)
Guilt is heavy. It feels like a ball and chain dragging us to the bottom of a dark and deep ocean. That ocean is filled with despair and condemnation and regret. It doesn’t matter whether we sinned on purpose or not, that sin keeps us a prisoner in our minds and sometimes in our flesh. The enemy knows that only free people free people. We were created to live free in Christ and point others to the real freedom that only He can provide.
Healing is found in confession.
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect. (James 5:16)
I’m not sure which is harder, pretending to be fine in front of God or in front of others. After a while, we all become really good at wearing masks and being okay. When we are trapped in cycles of sin or struggle, the last thing we are is okay.
But it is okay to admit we’re not okay — to say we don’t have it all together, we have a thorn in our flesh. The best of the best in God’s Word were far from perfect. Remember David and Paul and Abraham and Mary Magdalene and the Samaritan woman? When did we begin to think that perfection was the goal? A heart after His is the true prize.
I have met a man that has told me everything I have ever done. His name is Jesus. He loves me and He loves you despite our sin or failures. He won’t ever love us less.
If we trust Him to, He will place us within a body of believers who will tangibly model this love and grace with us. They will stand beside us in prayer without judgement. They will speak to our healing, freedom, and potential.
I’m not completely out from the weight of this oppression, but I’m on my way. He is giving me hope. Maybe you need a bit of hope for yourself or for someone you care about.
If you or someone in your life is in a cycle of sin or struggle, I’d love to pray for you!
Leave a Comment
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Karina,
How true that there is a catharsis when we confess not only our sins, but our disappointments, failures, feelings of lack to others. Often, what we find is that we are not alone. Lately, I’ve been feeling like somehow I failed as a mom even though I gave it my best effort. I am learning right now that I have to separate myself from my adult children’s actions. What they choose to do or not do is not my fault. I could use prayers for God’s love to be made known to me in this struggle and just reminders that He’s got all of this and He is able.
Beautiful post and praying for you….
Blessings,
Bev xx
Laundette Jones says
Love your post Katrina! I can relate to what you have said on so many levels.
And to Bev – Thanks for sharing your heart and vulnerability, Bev. Praying for you that God’s peace continues to guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus- Big Hug to you!
Kellylynn says
Oh my goodness, Bev. I’ve been struggling with the same. Praying for you. (((Hugs)))
karina allen says
Bev! Sister! Thank you for sharing!
Jesus, You author all things and You hold all things together. You are love and light and good. You created Bev to be the mother of her children. You chose her to steward their hearts and souls. You have given her everything thing that she needed to mother them well. She is enough in You. Her best was all that You required. May she rest in that and rest in knowing that You loves her kids and You will not forsake them. You will continue to pursue their hearts. That’s what love does. We thank You in advance for the testimonies to come!
In Jesus’ Name. Amen.
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Karina,
Thank you for a beautiful prayer that brought tears to my eyes…
Blessings and thanks,
Bev xx
Michele Morin says
Cleansing, freedom, healing — it occurs to me that so many of the women I speak with are craving these things — and afraid of them. Vulnerability with God (completely without risk, right?) is helpful preparation for vulnerability with others, but, so often, pride keeps me from opening my heart.
karina allen says
Father, thank You for Michele. Thank You for her desire to be vulnerable with You and others. I pray that You would break every stronghold of pride and fear in her soul. She is created to be known and to belong. Fill her with courage and hope. There is intimacy with You and sweet community awaiting on the other side of her risk. Cleansing, freedom and healing are hers in Jesus’ Name. Amen
Michele Morin says
Thank you, Karina, for your ministry of encouragement!
Ada says
Thank you for sharing Karina…incourage has become one of the devotionals that helps me get through daily…I am struggling with everything – starting over & quitting before I even start, on the verge of quitting again, trying to hold on…living…and trying to win the long battle against depression…I try to pray and believe that God will come through but my eyes are fixed on what I see physically now and I am fearful and find myself sinking deep again…Please pray for me for God to make me whole & restore me completely for all I have lost and help me keep my eyes on Jesus through it and send me a lifetime helper in human form & strength for today really…
Traci says
I am praying for you, Ada.
Ada says
Thanks Traci…
karina allen says
Ada, thank you for sharing sister!
Father, You are the mender of broken things, the restorer of lost things and the healer of sick things. Your love comes in and changes things. Your Spirit does what only He can do. I break the spirit of depression over Ada’s life. Peace and hope come. Fill her with courage and confidence and trust in You. You are working all things out for her good and Your glory. Strengthen her in the core of her identity. She is whole and loved and redeemed in You.
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen
Ada says
Amen! Thank you Karina…God bless…
Shanice says
Thank you for your post. Can you please pray for me? I need prayer for a renewing of my mind, a positive spirit, help with my attiutide, and strength to overcome my depression. thank you.
Traci says
Shanice, I will pray for you!
karina allen says
Father, Your heart is for Your daughter Shanice to be filled with Your love and joy and promises. I break the hold of depression over her. That spirit must leave in the name of Jesus. Your Word come. Bring hope and strength. She is more than an overcomer. She was created to walk in victory in You and by Your Spirit. You are good and faithful. We trust You for provision and direction.
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen
Karen says
I LOVE that definition of vulnerability! I am writing that one down!!!! THANKS!
karina allen says
It is SO good!!!! Thanks for reading!
Pearl Allard says
Karina, this spoke deeply to me today. I’ve had my own share of struggles and will continue to be a work in progress until I die, but I have someone on my heart for whom I hurt. She is refusing to be vulnerable in her situation, and while I know I can’t change her heart (that’s God’s domain), this person outright asked me to be an influence in her life. I want to weild it rightly, and I want to see healing in this person’s life. Would love your prayers for us both!
Pearl Allard says
*wield (need more coffee!)
karina allen says
Pearl, thank you for sharing!
Father, I pray for this sister to have a broken spirit before You. May her heart break for the things that break Your heart. May she learn to lean into Your correction and the accountability of Pearl. Change her from the inside out. Mold her heart. Make it soft and receptive.
Lord, thank You for placing Pearl in this woman’s life. May she be a good steward of her spirit. May speak words of purpose and destiny. May she call out gold. May she speak truth in love and grace. May she seek Your heart for this woman with pure motives.
Thank You for the work You’re doing!
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen
Pearl Allard says
Brought me to tears, Karina! God bless you richly, sister, and uphold and sustain you.
Anne says
This is lovely Karina. I will be praying for you and Bev, as well. The Catholic Church has the most beautiful understanding of how much we need God’s merciful love and compassion. And the sacrament of confession provides it in a very tangible way. I realize many believers don’t understand this. There is something very humbling by confessing your sins to another person….the priest does not forgive, he is standing in for Christ. Christ alone forgives. The human heart and soul needs to hear the words ‘your sins are forgiven, go in peace’. It is powerful! I know of so many lives (mine included) that have dramatically changed once they receive the healing, strength, and abundant grace from this life giving sacrament.
karina allen says
That is beautiful Anne! I grew up Catholic. Forgiveness is key! So grateful for Christ’s unending forgiveness!
Denise Reilly says
Yes please pray for me. I struggle with addiction and want to be free.
Karen says
Denise, I am praying for you right now!!!!
Beth Williams says
Denise,
Prayers for God to release you from the sin of addiction. May you feel His loving arms surround you. Thank you for being vulnerable to us in telling us your problem. We can and will gladly pray for you!
(((((HUGS)))))
karina allen says
Denise, thank you for being vulnerable!
Father, it is not Your heart for any of Your beloved children to be entangled by sin. It is Your heart for us to be free! For whom Your Son sets free is free indeed! I break every stronghold of sin in Denise’s life. The enemy has no place in her life. I command you, Satan to flee in the name of Jesus. Jesus, kill every desire for this addiction in her life. Fill her to overflowing with Your truth and promises. Fill her with Your love and peace and hope and purpose. You long for us to walk in victory. I pray You will surround her with strong community that will walk with her through the mess and for the long haul. Continually remind her that You will never leave her or forsake her. Be her everything. Meet her every need. Heal every hurt. Renew her mind. Give her a longing for You alone above every earthly desire.
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen
Korneeka says
Thank You. It’s really okay not to be okay. God knows. Confess. We are free in Him. What a vulnerable writing. I’m praying for you.
karina allen says
Thank you for reading!
Barbara says
Karina, your words give me hope. I have been in the exact mess you describe for a long stretch now. You could have been narrating my life. I just started back to church this past weekend. I am praying to find a Bible study group where I can be vulnerable. My past experience is to hide but I need to be in community. Thank you for your words, they are a salve to my soul.
karina allen says
Amen Barbara!
Father, thank You for the work You are doing in Barbara’s life. Thank You for stirring up a desire for You and for the freedom that You provide. You are good. I pray that You place her in strong and authentic community. You are the God of perseverance. I pray they would model that for her. May they get down in the messy hard stuff of life. May she resist every temptation to run and hide. May she fling herself into Your arms and the arms of the Body. May she find healing and comfort and hope in the midst.
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen
Barbara says
May God richly bless you for your ministry! Thank you for praying over me, what a blessing.
Teresa Davis says
I would love prayer for the panic anxiety I deal with, PTSD, and fibromyalgia. Thank you for writing this beautiful blog. I want to be free from this prison and I know Jesus does too. When many pray great things happen. Thank you for your prayers.
karina allen says
Teresa, Thank you for sharing.
Jesus, You are our healer and our freedom. By your blood we are free and whole and redeemed. That is Teresa’s truth. May she learn to live out of that truth in spite of what she sees in the natural. Your promises prevail. I speak to her mind and emotions. I speak a release of anxiety and PTSD. They have no place in her life. Only joy and a sound mind are welcome. Remind her of who she is and all that she possesses in You.
I speak to every part of Teresa’s body. I speak to every joint and muscle to be aligned with the way God created you. No more pain. No more fatigue. No more restlessness. Only perfect working the way the Father designed.
We thank You for the miracle of healing and restoration!
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen.
Christie says
Thank you for sharing with us, Karina! How brave you are. I will pray for you and would love your prayers for complete freedom. Thank you and many blessings!
karina allen says
Thank you Christie!
Jesus, You died for our freedom. Whatever freedom in Christie’s life looks like, I pray that You would begin to tangibly work some things out on her behalf. Bring clarity to her mind, spirit and emotions. Release her from any bondage and strongholds that have overcome her. May she partner with the Holy Spirit to lead and guide her into Your truth and purpose.
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen.
Christie says
Wow! Thank you again and bless you for such a powerful prayer. I receive this in Jesus’ Name.
Beth Williams says
Karina,
Praying for you sweet sister. May God release you from your oppression. I pray you feel His loving arms surrounding you. May peace and contentment come your way!
I’m tired of the “I’m fine masks” women wear. I wish they would take them off and “get real”. If I ask how are you I really want to know. Be vulnerable with me and allow me to pray and encourage you. We can be cleansed & healed if we just ask for it. Also there needs to be vulnerability with God. To that end I pray scripture and ask God to cleanse my heart and show me if there is any unconfessed sin. It is so freeing to know that even if we mess up He will forgive us if we but ask.
Blessings 🙂
karina allen says
Thank you Beth! I receive that!!!!
Praying Scripture is amazing!!!! He always honors His Word!
Melissa Henderson says
A true blessing to be able to share our thoughts and to pray for others. Thank you for this message.
karina allen says
Thank you for reading Melissa!
Drea says
Hello faith filled friends!
I’d sure appreciate prayer today. About 2 years ago I had a perirectal abscess. Last year around the same time I thought I was getting another abscess thankfully a round of antibiotics cleared it up. Once again, another year later, I’m dealing with the same rectal pain. I’m currently on antibiotics. Asking our good good Father for complete healing from this issue. Would you all agree in prayer with me?
karina allen says
Jesus, by Your blood we are healed. I release healing over every part of Drea’s body. May it work the way You designed for it to work. Her body is whole in You. Her body is strong in You. May her healing begin to manifest in supernatural ways. May it be seen quickly. May it be a lasting healing.
In Jesus’s Name.
Amen
Drea says
AMEN!
Rebecca L Jones says
Hi Karina, I know about being vulnerable and stepping out. I was more of a loner too, I loved to read and write, and nobody appeared to ” get it “. I think the war of thoughts and the chest heaviness may be dealing with the accuser of the brethren since you helping others. It is hard to take every thought captive and we have to renew our minds or those thoughts and accusations become strongholds. To use your phrase ” call out the gold “. The devil has no right to accuse you, you are forgiven, He knows who has a repentant heart. He doesn’t want it to be a tormented one. I pray for the others who comment, PTSD and addiction, to be loosed in Jesus name. He took it all. Isaiah 53
karina allen says
Amen and Hallelujah Rebecca!!!! Thank you!!!
Angie says
Thanks to you all! I am 80 and have balance issues that can cause me to fall. I feel bad that I no longer attend church on Sundays for fear I will fall. I have had 2 serious tumbles this year. But I do have my own devotion every morning without fail. Bible readimgs and prayers for a huge list of friends family and acquaintances. I feel shame for not attending church but I am afraid to go out much. I hope I am not breaking Gods commandment as I read them (10) lots to check on myself. Prayers please?
Karina Allen says
Angie, bless you my sister! The Lord knows your heart and knows your desire to be in His house. Don’t feel guilty.
Father, I pray You would restore to Angie perfect health. I speak balance to her body from the top of her head to the souls of her feet. I speak strength to her every bone and muscle. I speak peace to her mind and emotions. I speak hope to her soul. You are good and faithful. We thank You for Your healing and miracles!
In Jesus’ Name
Amen
Barbara says
I am going through a tough season of depression and loneliness currently, and I KNOW that God is good and that He is holding my hand right now and this season will pass, but why is it so hard when I cannot FEEL His love? And in the short moments in this season when I do feel His love, I wonder why God loves me. Even though I do know why, it is as if my brain cannot fathom it. How do I look past my feelings and just believe?
Karina Allen says
Barbara, thank you for sharing! I understand completely. Sometimes we just have to live out of what we know to be true until our feelings catch up.
Father, Your daughter was created to live in the fulness of Your love and joy. I come against every attack of the enemy that says Barbara is alone. It is a lie. You are with her. I speak to every thought and emotion. Be lifted up in Jesus ‘Name. May she take every thought captive and make them obedient to Christ. I speak peace and hope to her soul. She was created to walk in victory.
We thank You for answered prayer!
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen
Barbara says
Thank you so much for your beautiful prayer and for understanding*
Anna says
Such beautiful truth, Karina. Grace is so powerful. I’m so thankful for the Body of believers God has gifted me near and far. They are good to set me before God’s Word of truth- especially in confessing their own sins, which helps uncover my own (and my confession has also led to theirs)- God loves to multiply His blessings .
My mentor (a Grandma) and I sat together today to pray for God to weave our church together as One, to build us up together into Him, into His love. It is so easy for busy Mamas to live on islands and forsake fellowship (myself included), but like you shared here it is SO important for us to meet and do messy life together. Personally I’ve discovered the powerful blessing of Grandmas- the Titus 2 call for us younger women to learn from the godly wisdom of older women. Especially with my Mum in heaven I’ve made an effort to seek out older women, who have walked with the Lord for a long time and have so much to teach me (even if I don’t always want to hear it- especially then!).
Our heart is to see our church become a place that shines the love of Christ into our town- precisely through the strong community of love they see in us.
Karina Allen says
Amen Anna!
Let it be Lord!
diane thiel says
God brought this to me today as I swim in the mud of judgement my own if course as I keep myself in pain dished out by the enemy. Thank you sister for the wisdom and courage. Please pray for my marriages the continued touch of the Lord as the valley walk continues
Karina Allen says
Diane, thank you for sharing!
Father, hold Diane in your arms and whisper truth to her soul. You are good and faithful and work all things out for her good. May she follow where You lead, trusting Your heart for her marriage. You are a mender of broken things and a Healer of sick things. We thank You for what You’re doing even if we can’t see it.
In Jesus’ Name
Amen
Diane Nichols says
Way to make me cry first thing this morning! 😛 Last night, I was hit in the gut with Ps. 32:5 and this morning in ur post you mention it again. I admit (with u strangers who pry won’t hold me accountable, but this is my first step) that I am stuck in a cycle of sin. With a man, I truly love. Neither of us are married. Both of us love each other. But one of us does not love, even like God and we both are having sex together. I don’t know where it says in the Bible to not do that, I just know I’m walking around with those feelings u mention of hiding, shame, guilt. Ik its the Holy Spirit convicting me, but I’m continually outright sinning against it. I don’t know how to get off this sin cycle wheel I’m on. Lord, give me answers and strength to cut things off that shouldn’t be part of my life. I’m missing out on so much more of what u have for me.
Karina Allen says
Thank You Diane for your vulnerability sweet sister. Here are some verses you can pray about…1 Corinthians 6:17; 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8; Ephesians 5:5; Colossians 3:5; 2 Corinthians 6:14; 1 Corinthians 6:13; 2 Corinthians 7:1
Father, You are good and loving and gracious. You forgive our sins when we confess and repent. You long to have intimacy with us. Our sin keeps us from that. But, You give us endless second chances. It is Your heart to forgive us and restore us. You pursue our hearts. You fight for our souls. I thank You for my sister Diane. Thank You Holy Spirit for bringing conviction. You do that because You love her and want her to be all that You’ve created her to be. There is no shame or condemnation in You. A life of purity in mind and body creates space for us to hear You clearly, know You intimately and follow You closely. It allows for us to be in the center of Your will. I pray You give Diane the desire and courage to make hard choices, to live a radically sold out life for You. May she desire to forsake all other loves. May she live to please You no matter the cost. May she find her deepest satisfaction in Your presence. You call her worthy and beautiful and beloved. May she see herself as You see her.
We thank You for the work that You’re doing in her heart. May it be deep and lasting.
In Jesus’ Name
Amen
Suzanne says
When you said, “At moments, this war has physically felt like a weight on my chest.” I instantly knew what were feeling. Others often don’t understand what I’m trying to explain. It is often suffocating.
I will pray for you. Please pray for me.
God bless you and give you Peace!
Suzanne
karina allen says
Thank you Suzanne for sharing!
Jesus, I pray against every stronghold coming against Suzanne. Lift off every burden and heavy yoke. Exchange them for the lightness of Your Spirit. Overwhelm her with Your peace and hope. May she find strength in Your presence. Lead her in all truth. You are good and have good in store for her.
In Jesus’ Name
Amen
Sophia says
Please pray for me – I’m struggling with impurity. I’m 31 and waiting for a godly man to get married to. May God’s will be done.
karina allen says
Sophia, this struggle is all too real sister!
Father, Your heart is for us to have intimacy with us. Our sin keeps that from happening. But, You are the God who forgives and restores and redeems. You don’t bring condemnation or judgement. You only shower us with love and grace. I pray You would fill Sophia with strength and courage to make hard choices. Give her a desire to live sold out no matter the cost. May every other love pale in comparison to knowing You and pleasing Your heart. May You be the love of her life. May she find her identity in You alone. May You be her hope. Prepare her heart to do life with another. And prepare her future spouse to love her as You do. May she trust Your timing.
In Jesus’ Name
Amen
dee says
Dear Karina,
Thank you for this message! This describes perfectly what’s been going on with me lately, even down to the physical sensations. When my thoughts were invaded by things I did wrong in the past, I’d get that heavy weight on my chest and the pit in the stomach, and fear that I was having a panic attack. I know now that the enemy does this to separate us from God, to make us focus on our mistakes rather to focus on the fact that we are loved.
karina allen says
So true Dee!
Father, You love Dee with an unconditional and fierce love. Overwhelm her with that love. I pray she would take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. Give her a deep desire for the things of You and for Your Word. You don’t speak condemnation. You only speak truth covered in grace. Cancel out every voice that is of the enemy and speak loudly to her spirit. She is forgiven and redeemed in You. May she see herself the way You see her…beloved, worthy and chosen.
In Jesus’ Name
Amen
Wendy Wilson says
I absolutely loved your post and saved it for several days before I could actually read it. I am dealing with my own stupid secret sin: overspending and trying to fix that myself. Ha! Please keep me in your prayers, as there is a definite “root” to this.
As well, please pray for my brother Danny, who deals with such shame cycles it has affected his health in the last year or so.
God Bless YOU!
karina allen says
Thank you for sharing Wendy!
Holy Spirit, thank You for bringing loving conviction to Wendy. You are good and faithful. Bring illumination to her hear of what the root cause to her spending is. Take away all desire to self-medicate or fill in a void in her life. Give her an immense desire for You as the source of her joy and fulfillment. Continue to do a work in her.
Jesus, Your heart is for Danny to be whole, healed, and free. There is no condemnation in You. You only speak love and grace. Holy Spirit, do what only You can do. I speak miracles over Danny! Break all cycles of shame. Stop the enemy in his tracks. Bring rescue and forgiveness and hope!
In Jesus’ Name.
Amen.
Wendy Wilson says
Thank you SO MUCH!!!!