It’s summer time! It’s the season that children, teachers, and many others look forward to each year, waiting patiently for that last school bell to ring and the taste of sweet freedom. Though I’m not a hot weather person, there are so many things I do love about summer:
Visiting a friend’s pool for fun and refreshment…
Going to a local ice cream parlor for a yummy treat…
Slipping on flip flops instead of determining which footwear will be warmest…
The smell of delicious food on the grill…
Summer nights sitting on the porch as the sun sets…
But this summer is very different for me. This summer, for the first time, I am a stay-at-home mom.
God called me home out of full-time work, which brought on a plethora of worry and doubt, since we would be going from two incomes to one…and it just didn’t make sense on paper.
I’ve always been a control freak and especially so when it comes to finances, so the fact that I even considered this move, much less went through with it, amazes everyone who knows me well. Hey, I’m even surprised when I wake up and don’t immediately launch into “hurry-get-dressed-get-to-daycare-get-to-work” mode. It’s been a surreal experience.
And completely terrifying.
As I sit here, I still don’t know how God is going to provide for all of our needs. The numbers don’t add up and the income from writing and other side jobs isn’t rolling in the way I’d anticipated. My husband hasn’t gotten a big increase in income like I thought he might. All the things I had in mind when I made this move haven’t happened. Some days I feel completely deserted by the God who called me here, and I wonder what in the world He could be thinking.
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,”
declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)
Uncertainty is scary.
Uncertainty does not have to wreck our faith.
On the contrary, I would have to say that, even though I have my days of questioning God’s plan, my faith has grown in the last few months in ways that it never could have if everything was predictable and controlled. I trust in God more now than I believe I ever have, because He has brought me to a place where I have no other choice.
Perhaps you are there, too. It may not be related to finances or career. Maybe it’s a relationship. Or a terrible medical diagnosis. Perhaps you are dealing with a wayward child. Or just struggling with general feelings of self-doubt.
Whatever the circumstance you are facing that feels out of control, rest assured the same One who holds the stars and planets in space, parted the Red Sea, and fed the 5,000 can take care of you. No, He may not answer our prayers the way we see fit, but we will find that He will answer them in much greater ways, better than we could ever imagine.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us. (Ephesians 3:20)
Give it to Him. Completely and permanently. Let’s do it together and see what amazing thing happens.
Let’s enjoy a beautiful summer of faith and answered prayers.