In 7th grade, I rode the school bus with this older, towheaded kid who liked to give everyone — myself included — a hard time. I got on the bus before him each morning, so I could usually count on him throwing a remark or two my way as he passed my seat to find his own at the tail end of the bus.
His favorite thing to comment on to me? The size of my feet. Y’all, they were big, and they stuck out in front of me like twin 2 x 4’s.
So as he swaggered down the narrow bus aisle, I would press against the window as I squished my feet under my backpack on the floor. Curled over a book, I acted oblivious as he leaned over my seat.
“So,” he would say, gum smack, smack, smacking in his mouth. “I guess you still got those big ugly feet, huh?”
I sunk down further into the bus seat, willing myself to melt right into my Sweet Valley High book.
“I guess so.” I replied, eyes in my book.
“Well,” he said before a short pause. “I guess when they decided how long a foot was going to be, they used *your* foot as the measuring stick!”
I narrowed my eyes at him as he slapped the seat with his hand before laughing all the way to the back of the bus.
I went home and told my dad, the one responsible for my big feet, all about the exchange with more than a little dramatic flair. “Dad, you have NO idea how hard it is to be a girl with these feet. They literally stick so. far. out. that everybody notices them!”
He laughed in his gentle, kind-hearted way and replied, “Baby, your feet really aren’t as big as you think. And one day you will grow into them. They won’t always feel as awkward as they do now.”
Today, I still have ocean liner feet, but I did grow into them. I’m a tall woman, so it makes sense to have the size 11 ½ feet God gave me. Other than when I’m actually shopping for shoes, I devote 0% of my life pondering their size.
But I wish I could tell that to my 12-year-old self who was certain her feet — as well as a dozen other characteristics — made her a little too awkward to fit in.
I may not dwell on my feet these days, but there are other things about me I do devote too much time pondering, things that center around this season of life I’m in.
Perhaps you can relate?
You’re a new parent, and you’re waiting to “fit in” to this new role of motherhood.
You’re the new girl at the office, and you’re trying to find your place within your new environment.
Or maybe you just generally walk around afraid you’re either not enough or too much (or both) to truly fit in anywhere.
Yes, there are times we may find ourselves in places that aren’t a good fit for us, and we must prayerfully consider if we should walk away from those places. But sometimes, it’s not that this new place we’re in doesn’t fit. It’s that it doesn’t fit yet.
We have to grow into it.
God is building a home. He’s using us all—irrespective of how we got here—in what he is building. He used the apostles and prophets for the foundation. Now he’s using you, fitting you in brick by brick, stone by stone, with Christ Jesus as the cornerstone that holds all the parts together. (Ephesians 2:19-22)
If where you are today feels a little awkward, take heart. God is fitting you into your place. So until what is supposed to be turns into what is, we remember that sometimes we simply must grow into what we’re going through.
As you wait for your own season to fit, know the freedom of talking to your Father about it, sharing all your vulnerabilities and uncertainties. And as you do, hear His own kind-hearted response meant just for you: I am putting the pieces of your life in place, maturing you brick by brick, stone by stone.
May we hold onto hope that what doesn’t fit today will likely fit in the future.
And may we know the Lord’s calming, faithful presence while we wait.
Leave a Comment
Michele Morin says
Hmmm . . . I never have grown into my double digit feet, but love the Truth that “what doesn’t fit today will likely fit in the future.” So many aspects of character development that I need to work on, and thankful for God’s strong Hand in all this.
Kristen Strong says
Me too, Michele. xo
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Kristen,
How true that we have to grow into our experiences. Right now I’m going through some things that I just don’t understand the “why” of?? It hurts and it doesn’t make sense to me. But, I trust that God knows what He’s doing and He has big enough shoulders to handle my doubts and questions. I’m thankful that I can go to Him with everything and anything. It is often the times and places that don’t fit, that send me running into the arms of my Heavenly Father. While I may not understand, His wings are always a safe place under which i can seek refuge. Thank you for the encouragement this morning….
Blessings,
Bev xx
Cindy says
Thanks for writing this …. I feel I’m being thrown overboard with no landing in sight. People, unfortunately God’s people, can be cruel and hurtful. Pray for me.
Gail says
Praying!
Bev @ Walking Well With God says
Cindy,
Lifting you up in prayer right now. Yes, unfortunately God’s people can be cruel and hurtful. I was just reading in my quiet time in Ezra and this verse spoke to me: “The exiles observed Passover….and they observed the Festival of Unleavened Bread for seven days with joy because the LORD had made them joyful, HAVING CHANGED THE ASSYRIAN KING’S ATTITUDE TOWARD THEM, SO THAT HE SUPPORTED THEM in the work on the house of God of Israel.” (emphasis mine) (Ezra 6: 19-22). This really struck me that I am not in control of other people and how they treat me. It is only God who can change attitudes and turn hearts of stone into hearts of flesh. As much as it hurts when people are cruel to us, we need to go about doing the Lord’s work ….do the next thing….and let God be in charge of changing attitudes and hearts. Praying for your strength and comfort for your hurting soul and that God would let you know just how much you are loved…which you are. You are His priceless daughter over whom He delights and rejoices!! Let’s claim this together!!
Love and ((hugs)),
Bev xo
Elizabeth says
Cindy, I can very much empathize with you; my prayer has gone out for you. Between Kirsten’s great post, your comment, and Bev’s reply I now know what I must do to remedy a similar situation in my own case.
Love, joy, and hugs to all,
Liz
Kristen Strong says
Cindy I’m so so sorry for all the hurt and pain you’ve experienced. Know you have a circle of sisters here praying for you and your situation. I am also holding on to Bev’s wise thoughts on the passage from Ezra. May all of us in a “thrown overboard” season do only the next right thing while trusting God to handle everything else. Sending you love today, Cindy.
Beth Williams says
Cindy,
Lifting you up inn prayer sweet sister!! May God bring healing to you mind, body & soul. Yes. God’s people can be cruel. After all we are flawed people. Like Bev said only God can change the hearts of people. May you feel His strength and comfort as you deal with this trial.
(((((Hugs)))))
Lauren Spofford says
Cindy I am praying for you! I too have gone through some difficult challenges in my life and a few of my church family were not very kind. I wanted to share with you what my wise mother told me…go inside the church doors, don’t look around but look up! May God bless you with his peace that passes all understanding.
Kristen Strong says
As usual, your comments hit me right where I need encouraging. Thank you, Bev. xo
Summer Rae says
Miss Kristen,
Your words have filled my heart with hope; thank you. I pray you and your family have a blessed day.
This side of Heaven,
Summer Rae
Kristen Strong says
I’m so glad, Summer. And I pray the same for you and yours. Much love!
Angela says
Thank you, I can trust God during this “growing season. I believe that the results will be something beautiful in Jesus timing
Kristen Strong says
“Something beautiful in Jesus’ timing.” ~ yes. Thank you, Angela.
Janice says
Oh my do I identify! I was too tall in first grade (almost as tall as the sweet little nun Sister Matilda) plus had the big feet!
Love your statement of growing into what we are going through. Absolutely true. Took me a while to discover this truth and accept His grace to get me through my growing. Plus, as I bring minimalism into my life I don’t require as many shoes.
Kristen Strong says
Solidarity, sister! 🙂
It took me some time to discover as well! Now I just need to keep remembering it and living it out as new seasons come. Thank you for sharing here, Janice. Much love!
Narai says
Hi Kristen,
This just brightens my day. It’s Monday morning and I just move into a new position – so it certainly felt awkward this morning…
Blessings,
Narai
Kristen Strong says
I hope your Monday went well, Narai! Praying for you and your first week right now.
Erin Whitmer says
Kristen,
I love this! And I LOVE your metaphor with “ocean liner feet” – such a perfect image! Thank you for sharing this. I think all of us – no matter what season we’re in – are growing into the next season or trying to figure out how we are fitting into our current season. I think that’s why we are so heart-ache prone to any sort of rejection we receive during this seasons!
Erin
Kristen Strong says
Well said, Erin. I suppose stagnant seasons propel us to change something so we can sense growth once again.
Appreciate you!
DebbieReynolds says
Amen! Thank you for this great reminder about fitting in. Even at 60 something I still struggle with fitting in but listen for God to steer me in the right direction.
Blessings on your day
Kristen Strong says
I don’t think this is something we ever outgrow, ya know? And I love your words about listening for God to steer you in the right direction. May it be so for us all. Much love, Debbie!
Brenda says
Interesting perspective. I don’t know that I’ve considered quite that angle before. Thanks for sharing, Kristin. 🙂 — (And, my youngest son was like that, but it was his ears he had to grow into. He’s now the tallest person in our family (at only 15), and has finally grown into his ears. 🙂 )
Kristen Strong says
Your comment made me smile so big. Mad love to your boy!
Rebecca L Jones says
I was the fat girl, so no one noticed my Flintstone feet as I called them think and wide, extra wide. But beautiful for carrying the gospel of peace just like you. And boy is Cindy right about cruel people. They really need a do over in some instances, insulting people is corrupt communication.
Kristen Strong says
“But beautiful for carrying the gospel of peace…” Your words here made me smile. You’re so right–all shapes and sizes are beautiful for that. Thank you, Rebecca, for your wise thoughts here. xoxo
Yeng says
His purpose for us is far greater than we can imagine and I’ve come to see that something that happens in the “waiting” for His purpose to be revealed – yes, purpose even in the “growing pains” of life. He is at work and he is faithful.
I love your analogy, that God is building us “brick by brick, stone by stone…” – in my industry of Interior Design, there couldn’t be a greater truth that God is in the details; the architect and author of life.
Beth Williams says
Kristen,
I’ve gone through seasons of trying to fit in. I don’t think I fit in during my school days at all. I was super shy. Didn’t have many friends. It took years but I finally fit in at my small church. He was at work molding me into the person I am today. His plans & purposes are different than ours and we can learn some good truths in the waiting. Great analogy Kristen!
Blessings 🙂
MaryMargaret says
Thank you so much for this! This even reminds me that all the doubts I struggle with, will fit into place too.
Kristen says
Wow Kristen, this so aptly fit where I am right now. I just started my dream job with a Christian doctor, I have been waiting 5 years for this opportunity. At the new office it can be tempting to feel like a smaller fish in a big pond at times, but I know I am right where God wants me !
Cindy says
Thank you, I felt surrounded since I wrote my comment yesterday morning. My day went off wall as I stepped up to help a lady at work….so just read your prayers this morning.
Also, God brought Jonah to my mind. Even in the belly of the whale, not knowing where he was going, God knew … God still used him greatly…God still loved him and took care of him.
Thanks for the reminder of Ezra, the future of the church is unknown where we serve, pray with me that God settles my heart with calm and Himself for whatever He has for us. Also, that God’s people will take hold of God and the community will want God…. ‘a do over’.
Thanks for each prayer and comment and love. I felt isolated, depressed … I usually pass writing a comment. Very thankful I did. God used you all in ministering to me. Hugs back.
Kristen, thanks for bringing a community to me.
Rachel Ganther says
Thank you – I needed this one! My husband and I are in a new season of our lives in ministry. He started his new job as a Chaplain at the end of August, and I will begin a part time pastorate the first of October. We are buying our first home (after many years of parsonage living), we are in a new city, state, etc. So yes, I fully resonate with this idea of ‘growing into it’. God is so faithful and we are standing in that truth daily. Thanks again for your reflection and encouragement!
Cindy says
Be encouraged as I was today….
This morning on way to an appointment I saw chimney sweeps/ barn shallows for first time in a long while….they swooped and formed a heart then disappeared. WOW…God Himself present to show me His love.
Later back at church I shared with a lady my fear and difficulty trusting but holding on and how all this has helped. She was present with me and understood. We’ve been in ministry 26 years…. one is not in control of one’s life.