I glanced around my music classroom at the shiny plastic of the un-chewed nametags, the neat folders, the beautiful stack of white, unused paper. The posters on the walls hung straight, smooth, and unmarked by the fingerprints of curious hands. I knew that in just a few moments, 50 pairs of expectant eyes would land on me and become my little shadows for the year, absorbing all my energy and knowledge and mistakes. I breathed in the last few minutes of summer:
Jesus, I surrender this day to Your will.
—–
When we arrived at the airport in the sweltering August heat, we did something I never do when traveling alone; we sat down and shared a final meal together in the overpriced café. It was a distraction to lighten the gravity of this goodbye. We took our time checking in baggage and walked slowly to security. I asked for two goodbye hugs and she gave three, each squeeze a little tighter, and then I turned away not knowing when or if I would see her in this lifetime again.
Jesus, I surrender my family to Your care.
—–
“Sweetheart, he’s not going to get better. He might not even last the week. I’m on my way to the hospital now.”
I hung up the phone — confused and fearful, and on the wrong side of the world with no possibility of returning in time. Before that conversation, I had been eagerly anticipating my final year in university, when I thought I had the system figured out. Instead, I was about to enter a season of sorrow and loneliness.
Jesus, I surrender my grief to Your comforting hands.
—–
Surrender.
I remember that word etched in my first journal over ten years ago, as I sat in my new room in a new neighborhood on a chilly fall afternoon. It is a word that has stayed with me every autumn since, as a reminder of the humility of new beginnings – new jobs, new cities, new experiences.
When I think of surrender, I picture Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, about to make the ultimate surrender. It was not a scene of a proud, heroic Savior. Scripture records that Jesus was sorrowful, troubled, and overwhelmed. He fell to the ground as he prayed, three times:
My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will. (Matthew 26:39)
As You will.
As You bring us through the process that draws us closer to You.
As a new season begins, maybe you are surrendering a new schedule to God’s will. Maybe you are starting a new career, or have lost a job, or are in the middle of a project, and you are surrendering your timeline to God. Maybe you are surrendering worry or anger or guilt as you navigate through a situation that just doesn’t make sense.
May we be comforted in knowing that Jesus deeply recognizes the cost of whispering, Your will be done.
May we find peace in knowing that we don’t have to be unfazed, stoic heroes of our situation; we can approach our Father with troubled hearts.
May we be blessed in our surrender to God’s will and righteousness in this season.
How have you experienced a season of surrender? How has God met you in your surrender?
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This surrender is a humble admission that God knows — and I don’t.
Thank you for sharing these tiny vignettes from your life, for they remind me that we make our surrender to God one release at a time.
Yes – I love the way you put it!
Beautiful words Michele. Yes one release at a time. I’m so grateful Jesus always only wants what is best for His children.
I feel like my life is in a constant state of surrender. And for me that’s the beautiful part. As hard as it is, knowing I’m surrendered to the complete Lordship of Jesus places me at the center of His will for my life. At the center of His will, I am protected, have provision and have security. I have surrendered my career, my womb, my eating habits, parts of my personality, out of obedience. The word assures he who gives up his life gains it. Praying for all the SURRENDERED ONES 🙂
Amen. I feel just the same. Thanks for People praying for the SURRENDERED ONES….
That is beautiful, Tyra! I’m still working on getting to a constant state of *willing* surrender, and I love the reminder that there is protection and provision when we hear His voice and follow.
Dear Adora,
The intertwining of the pain of your journeys that is woven with your surrender; and our Lord’s trauma at the end of His earthly life, is very poignant and revealing of the dramatic human emotions that the Lord understands and accepts, as we meet with life’s overwhelming tribulations, trials and decisions. I have never heard anyone use His analogy in the Garden, with our emotions to horrendous things in our lives. Thank you so much and such a comfort. Because when bad things happen and we are so terribly hurt, it adds more to our burdens to believe that we shouldn’t be feeling such things, (since we are Christians). Thank you for opening my heart to these truths you have found.
NJ
Dear NJ,
Oh, how painful it is to hear from other believers that we shouldn’t feel hurt/disappointed/overwhelmed. For a long time, I too was under the impression that it was selfish to seek God for comfort… until I was gently shown the opposite in Scripture, that names Him “the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (2 Corinthians 1:3-4) – what a gift that is!
-Adora
Thank you x
Surrender- so powerful! Thank you for sharing from your heart. Even though some seasons can be hard, I loved the reminder that in the process we grow closer to Jesus.
You’re welcome – I’m glad it spoke to you today!
Thank you for this beautiful reminder of how tender and fragile our lives are in the midst of storms.
But with God by our side, our surrender is possible.
At the age of 58 I’m starting over. An unwanted divorce has left me in a state of what do I do, where do I go, and how do I start over. The thought of surrendering is actually quite comforting. It is His will, He knows my story and my heart.
Thank you Adora for this bit of peace and. Comfort.
Father God, please comfort Deborah during this time of transition in her life. Surround her with angels(both heavenly and earthly) to protect her in the natural as well as the supernatural.
Thank you Lord that your vision is far greater than ours, and that You alone will provide Deborah what she needs exactly at the time she needs it. In Jesus name, Amen
Wow Bev what a beautiful door that opened in your life. Your story is just what I needed to hear. Blessings to you and your courage in making a difference.
Thank you for sharing and may
God continue to show you the way❤️
Thank you AngelaFor your prayers and kind words.
God Bless
Deborah,
What is happening to women in their middle age (divorce) seems to be epidemic. My husband took off for his second and final time when I was 52. I was going through some major surgery. I had no job and my work skills were old and outdated. I know the devastation and aloneness you feel. Who expects this at this stage in life?? My heart goes out to you as this is devastating to say the least. I hope you have family or friends that are supportive? I do come alongside you in prayer. I am lifting you up right now as you surrender this great unknown before you. If it helps to give you hope, it was in this period that I began writing again…started a blog. The blog then birthed starting a non-profit ministry that supports Christian schools in the Middle East (no easy task for the faint of heart). I would never have imagined this new start in my middle years, but God is SO faithful. Keep surrendering your heart and hopes to Him. He will bring beauty from the ashes. Your life is not over…..a new chapter is beginning and God already knows what he has prepared for you to do. Keep following His leading…
Blessings and ((Hugs)) sweet sister,
Bev xx
You are welcome – I love how you say that God is by our side as we surrender, because so often it’s easy to picture us on one side of the surrender, and God on the other side – and that is just not true at all! May God continue to use words/His word, prayers, and fellowship in this time to bless and comfort you <3
Deborah,
Praying for you during this trying time in your life. May God bring comfort & peace to your heart & soul!! Praying angels will come along side you & help you through this. Know that God is with you ALWAYS!! He will NEVER leave nor FORSAKE you. He can & will get you through this trial!!
Blessings 🙂
Adora,
Beautiful post. I love how you pointed out that we don’t have to come through trials as “unfazed, stoic heroes”. God is okay with our troubled and hurting hearts and bids us to come to Him. I have, hopefully, come through a long season of perpetual surrender. Two major surgeries, shingles, the fear of cancer returning, my daughter being hospitalized….if I had good knees I’d be on my knees, but I laid prone on the floor crying out to God. I believe He honors a totally contrite and humbled heart. Though weeping endures for the night, joy comes in the morning. I am here to testify that God is GOOD and He is truly FAITHFUL to bring us THROUGH the valleys and not leave us stuck there. But, like you pointed out, the getting through takes surrender. Sometimes it’s surrendering a season, or sometimes a week or a day, or even 10 minutes at a time. Thank you for making surrender come alive on the page here today.
Blessings,
Bev xx
Dear sister Bev,
whenever I read In Courage …I always check below to read your replies.. God has brought you through the fires and You radiate His beauty and wisdom to the world..Praise be to God for the work He has done in you and your obedience and mature Christian growth..! THANKYOU for how you impact my life My marriage still struggles and I often feel lonely…but I remember your personal words to me to keep trying and surrendering and then I remember…”God holds me like a seashell and listens to my Heart”. …. Ish 40:11 Bless You
Cheryl – I do the same!
Thank you, Bev, for sharing your experience with surrender in these difficult situations. I love how even when we are on the floor crying out to God, He is right there beside us, even (and especially) then. Your journey inspires me, and your encouragement is contagious! Blessings to you <3
Dear Cheryl,
The key word is THROUGH. God will bring you through the trials. I’m so sorry about your marriage. Having waded through 26 years of a loveless marriage….filled with emotional and verbal abuse….I know the loneliness you can feel. Know that I am praying for you right now…lifting you up. And keep running into the loving arms of Jesus who holds you like the little lamb, close to His beating heart of love for YOU. He does love you so much and so do I.
Blessings and ((Hugs)),
Bev xoxo
Adora,
First of all the answer to your question is ,Yes. From time to time I’ve said these very words,”I surrender.” But if I were to run in to the bear on the trail that stood on my neighbors car the other morning, I hope I’d have the courage not to. I’m really starting to learn the difference. Thank-you for sharing your thoughtfully inspiring post this morning.
2 Samuel,22:29
You Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light.
May you all be blessed by His light.
Penny
Dear Penny,
You’re welcome, and that’s a really good point! Thank you for sharing that verse, and may His light shine upon what we are called to surrender. I hope you don’t run into the bear again!
Adora
Every day I practice surrender. I am really feeling this as we enter fall, new beginnings, a season of change, and a surrender to a new schedule designed by God.
A fantastic reminder of surrender!
That is so wonderful that you practice surrender everyday! May God bless you in your new beginnings <3
So blessed by your post and all the comments. My surrender to the Lord came with some complaining and anger. My husband had a few of what is called blood strokes. The damage done to the brain results in Alzheimer like symptoms. The Lord is causing deep rooted changes to take place in my heart as I turn this over to him and learn to walk in the places He has called me to. I have placed my trust in the Father who loves us so much and knows exactly what and how to deal with this whole situation. By the way, we just attended a celebration of the Feast of Tabernacles at the church we attend and my husband’s spirit was receiving a great deal from the Lord!!! I don’t know where this is going but I’m getting to know in a deeper level the One who is taking us there. God bless you all abundantly
Dear Gail,
What a scary situation – thank you for sharing. I can imagine that it would cause a lot of intense emotions, and I love that even when we bring those in our surrender to God, He still responds with love and wants to draw closer and bless us! May you experience the comfort of God’s presence during this time ❤️
Bev and Deborah. Thank you for your openness and honesty. I needed that. Most times I feel so alone on my path. I am 55. The last two years of my life haves been the worst years ever. A divorce with much sorrow and then breezeway cancer a year after that. I am still recovering from effects of chemo I finished 3 months ago. I have no lost so much, my job, my hair,my breasts, my living situation, my freedom, my independence …I’ve lost .me. I’m not angry at God.
I just don’t know which way to go to start over.
Wanda
How wonder to be a violinist. And you are right there is no on better to surrender to.
It is pretty fun! 🙂 And yes, I’m glad He meets us right there in our surrender!
Adora,
Loved the vignettes of life & trials. Years ago I was going through a tough trial with my aging dad. I surrendered the outcome to God. I would just cry out to God “just take him” “what must I learn from this?” “Help me!” God was with me all the time. He never left me & allowed me to see a miracle! I have learned to surrender my entire life to God. I asked God for a good part-time job. It only took one week from time I heard about job, applied for, interviewed, & received the offer. That was definitely God at work. He knew it would be a good fit for me. God is SOOOO good!!
Blessings 🙂
Thank you for this. We just moved 4000 miles, changed careers after 16 years doing the same thing and our world is. Rocked. We believe it was the call of God but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Thank you for these words of reminder.
Going through my divorce has brought so much pain to my life. After 24 years of marriage with us having 8 children together, I have often ask myself where did things go wrong? I never ever wanted to walk away, but finally was left with no choice but to do so. I thought I would get over things really fast. But not so, it has been over 5 years since I walked away, and a little over a year for the divorce. A sercet divorce I got. I drove away with just what we could fit in our van. And this was when my husband was away. I just feel I can never get my life back, I feel so worthless at times. I had no clue the pain I would face after I left. I did not realize just what I had come out of, it all hit me hard. I ask myself what has happen to our men? So many are falling away from God and families breaking up. I can assure you, I never thought I would be where I am today. Even so I dirvorced my husband he says I am still his wife and he wants us back as a family. I still feel my life is not free, because he will never let me go. After a few years in our marriage. He gave up the Christian faith and became a Muslim. Behind my back. Such control, and his view of women very bad. I lost who I was and became a prisoner in his world of doing things. No driving, no nothing by myself. Getting out a few times a month. And he did not believe in working a job job something that would take him away from us. If you know the Bible where it talks about the law, well we lived it to about the tee. No pork, keeping feast days, 7 day sabbath strict, to where you could not cook, wash a dish, play games, just bound to the law in every way. sleeping 7 days apart through the time of month. Covering my head, no pants, just so many things like this. Such abuse I received. I do not know why my x wants his family back when he still lives like he does. I can for sure never tell him that we cannot be a family again. He will not hear this. I feel I am reliving all of this again. I am thankful for this site, because I feel I need to be heard. It is hard to move forward