I could feel it coming on — an overwhelming sense of heart-pounding panic, difficulty breathing, dizziness.
There wasn’t any one thing that set me off, just a long train of emotional rail-cars carrying the cargo of daily demands, losses, and this impending feeling of doom in our world. I could hear the newscasters on the television in the living room. The day’s stories sounded like yesterday’s stories — and none of it was good.
Before the anxiety swept over me, I spoke the three words that have saved me again and again:
“Thank you, Lord.”
And then I kept saying those three words; it felt like I was calling down the power of heaven. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord. Thank you, Lord.
The words formed a defense in my mind, pushing back the panic.
In the last two years, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to cultivate happiness in our lives. Nothing has been more effective than simply saying thanks.
The richest form of happiness always begins with the words: “Thank you.”
It begins by recognizing the gifts we’ve already been given, and then taking the time to be grateful for them.
Gratitude is more than a nice gesture acknowledging the gifts in our lives. It is the stubborn refusal to be held hostage by fear and despair. It’s saying to the world — and to ourselves — that despite everything, this old world is still a beautiful place. No matter how hopeless it all seems, there’s always, always something to be thankful for.
We can be grateful in times of hopelessness because we are gripped at all times by God.
Cicero said that gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others. If that’s true, then my happiness does not cause me to be grateful for what I have. My gratitude for what I have causes me to be happy. Gratitude births the virtue of happiness.
On that awful day when panic swept over me, I chose gratitude.
A Challenge for You
Gratitude often plays a starring role in the talks I deliver at retreats and conferences. Why? Because thankfulness works.
I often issue a challenge to those in the audience: Count three blessings a day, for one week, and then go back and review all 21 blessings at the end of the seventh day.
When we do that — count our blessings, and then review them — we experience two extra kinds of happiness.
1 – We experience “anticipatory happiness,” when we begin to scan our environment for the good. We train our brains to focus on what is right, instead of what is wrong.
2 – We experience “residual happiness” — an after-the-fact happiness — when we take the time to write it down and review it later.
So many women have taken me up on that challenge. And now, I invite you to do the same!
For the next seven days, let’s count our blessings — and invite a friend to join you.
7-Day Challenge: Choose Gratitude & Find Happiness
Thanksgiving is a few days away. What if we got an early start? What if we joined together, and committed to 7 days of choosing gratitude? Furthermore, what if we invited a friend, a granddaughter, a mother-in-law, or a sister to take the challenge with us?
It’s so easy to be a part of this!
1 – Click and print the FREE gratitude list, found right here.
2 – Invite someone to join you. Who? Your mom, your prayer partner, everyone in your book club, your whole office!
3 – Every day, for seven days, each of you will scan your world for the good that is already there. Each person records her three daily blessings on her own list.
4 – Hold each other accountable. Text, call, or Facebook message each other every night to report in with your blessings!
5 – Practice “residual happiness” by reviewing your list every night.
(Bonus points when you share your thankfulness on Instagram. Be sure to tag us @incourage and @dukeslee so we can find you and share in your happiness!)
Why It Matters
Gratitude has changed my attitude, even on days when panic sets in.
True gratitude says, “Blessed be His name anyway.”
True gratitude says, “He is always good and He is always working.”
True gratitude says, “God, YOU are my ultimate happiness.”
All human beings — no matter what they believe about God — have the built-in potential to experience profound gratitude. When I wrote The Happiness Dare, I read a lot of scientific research about happiness. Repeatedly, researchers pointed to thankfulness as a foundational piece of happiness. But imagine what it would be like if you had to direct all of your thankfulness to fate or to the thin air or to your “lucky stars.” Without God, you have nowhere in particular to guide your gratitude.
But if we know God, we have a tremendous advantage when it comes to gratitude and happiness: We know where to direct our thanks.
And for that we say, “Thanks be to God.”
Sarah Geringer says
I love this idea, Jennifer! So easy and so transformative. Starting this challenge today!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Glad to hear it, Sarah! Have a wonderful week of counting your blessings, leading up to Thanksgiving.
Maija Jokinen says
I really need this, so I’m in! And the most amazing thing is, even when there would be NOTHING to be thankful for in our circumstances, there’s always so much to thank God for what He has already done and will do.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
I love your attitude, Maija. As I am sitting in a hospital room with my dad today, I needed your reminder. Thank you.
Debi Gable says
This practice of gratitude has been true in my life many times. One Christmas, I was depressed because I was at my nieces house, with her husband & 2 children. I was almost time to go home, & I sat on the porch, sad. I was divorced & feeling so lonely. I remembered something I read in the past. It said to think about all of the positive things in my life. I began to do so, & before very long, I was so happy that I was singing all the way home. “Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done…”
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Debi, You’ve illustrated the power of gratitude with your words. Thank you for sharing.
Beth Williams says
Jennifer,
I’m right there with you. I do this quite often. When I feel down or a little depressed I will start a “thankful journal”. It contains everything from big ones like Jesus, Home in Heave to little things like electricity, pens, paper, ETC. I find it turns my mood around. Realizing ALL that God has blessed us with is calming & refreshing to my mind & soul. My latest one has 260 items on it & going.
Blessings 🙂
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Counting is blessings can be so transformative, as you’ve beautifully illustrated here. Thank you, Beth.
Gwen says
I’m in! Thank you for this timely challenge!!
Suzanna says
I take this challenge everyday day now for the past 4 months and it really helps me personally. Thank you for sharing.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
So happy you are joining us, Gwen and Suzanna. What a great lead-in to Thanksgiving.
Barbara says
Thank you for this challenge. As a recently widowed young 63 year old, I am having a lot of trouble finding the gratitude in my life. I will take this challenge and hope to be looking at things differently soon. I always feel better after my visit to these daily readings!☺
Jean Lum says
Dear Barbara….your short note stirred my heart. I was a 57 year old widow (10 years ago), and I learned the incredible importance of being thankful while we walk the grief journey. Please be kind and gentle with yourself and let your tears flow. God will be there to wipe them and comfort you. Let me know if I can be of help to you. I am so thankful that you shared…it helps to know we are not alone in our deep loss. I will be praying for you….many hugs.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Such great advice, Jean. Big hugs to you and Barbara today.
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Barbara, I am glad you’re joining us in our 7-day challenge. What a great way to lead up to Thanksgiving. And??? We can make it a habit to continue throughout the year.
Michele Morin says
Loving that phrase: “residual happiness.”
We can get so much mileage out of the good if we give ourselves time to savor it!
Jennifer Dukes Lee says
Thanks, friend! Always good to see you here. xo
Shirley Huynh says
I’m in! I need this as the holidays are such a struggle especially. Thanks for the challenge!
Cheryl says
This came at a great time! I am so down and out and feeling anxious about all the bad news every day and challenges of this world. I am starting today.
Nancy Ruegg says
For twenty-eight years I’ve kept a “God is faithful” journal, seeking to record the big and small miracles he provides. The total is now over 1200–and I’m still counting. God is so amazingly good! In March of this year, I decided to start another journal: A Celebration of Small Things. Here I record the delightful little blessings I’ve often missed in the busy-ness of life: a puffy hippo-shaped cloud, that glorious first sip of coffee in the morning, our grand baby’s giggles, a cozy fleece robe to keep out the drafts, etc. Usually I only record one blessing; sometimes two. It doesn’t take long, but what fun to live attentively and see what gifts God has for each day! You are so right, Jennifer: true gratitude points us to the reality that GOD is our ultimate happiness. P.S. A VERY blessed and happy Thanksgiving to you and your beautiful family!
Rebecca L Jones says
Great for Thanksgiving week,
GrammaT says
Papa and I are going to take you up on this gratitude journey! We have soo much to be grateful for. Today we are both grateful Phil Dukes got to go home! And tonight we are having a blizzard to toast our friends health and recovery to a healed leg!
Christine Rahn says
Gratefulness….the gift that keeps on giving! The Rx for happiness with glorious side effects! Great idea! Thank You!!
Rachel Elkins says
I’m in a season of darkness and I’m finding this at the right time. Excited to start this and share it with my best friend! Thank you!
Kim B Smith says
Thank you, Jennifer for posting this challenge. I am inviting 3 friends to do this with me and then again in June! Every 6 months! 🙂
Carolyn says
Jennifer Thank You! I have read your wonderful book : ) I am glad you shared the research you have done on thankfulness. Your story breathes healing and life for our souls.
Carolyn
Carrie says
Jennifer,
I will take your challenge as we come to this week of Thanksgiving. In this year of not feeling very thankful as we grieve my Mother who passed away at the end of July, I can whisper this…Thank you Lord that they found the cancer when they did. Thank you Lord that we got 3.5 more years with her than we would have. Thank you Lord that we were all together just days before you took her home. Though painful, it does help to reflect on those three things over and over.
As a side note, do you have a sister you used to sing with? If so, I believe I remember years at Nebowa camp and hearing Jane sing all the time in the dorm, and one time you came to our church even. I have always appreciated that.
Ros says
Hi Jennifer,
Just to say (a few days later!) that your post has actually made a home in my spirit! I was feeling totally overwhelmed with various situations recently & what came to mind was to just say “Thank you Lord” over & over – so I did – & everything just lifted!! Amazing! So simple & so easy to forget how near God is to us! Thank you so much for the reminder!